by Hinze, Vicki
He thought you were dead.
He had. That made it different, didn’t it? Maybe it did, but it didn’t feel different. It still hurt. Reasonable or not, it still hurt. “You wanted to forget me?” Hating the pitiful tin in her voice, she stiffened and fisted her hands, then forced a strength she didn’t feel into her tone. “You wanted my children to forget me?”
He squeezed his eyes shut, paused a long moment, and then finally opened them. The pain in him was raw, pounding off him in waves. “It—it seemed right at the time. It seemed healthy for the… family.” There was an apology in his tone. Regret and shame, too. “I’m sorry, Katie.”
She swallowed the hurt, telling herself she had to be reasonable about this. It was a house and a garden. A beloved house and garden, but just a house and garden. She’d have another. “It’s okay,” she said, trying to make herself believe it. “You did what you thought was right. No one could ask any more of you.”
He nodded, looked to the window, and the wistfulness in him proved he wished he could be out there. Be anywhere but here with her. That hurt, too. More than she could put into words, and far more than she could shutter away. “They’re good photos, Sam,” she said, trying to put him at ease and get things between them back on a positive footing. “Thank you for bringing them to me.” Such a surreal conversation. So polite and distant and different from anything she’d imagined. This wasn’t as it should be. Not at all what it should be between a man and wife reunited after all this time.
Not sure what was wrong or how to fix it, she glanced down at the photos—and pegged that something nagging at her. She should have picked up on it right away and hadn’t. And that something struck fear in her heart. “Sam?” She looked over at him. Her voice shook. Inside, she shook all over. “Who took these pictures?”
He avoided her eyes and Muldoon’s. “Sam?” She waited but he still didn’t answer. “For goodness’ sake, Sam.” She let out a nervous little laugh. “It’s not a difficult question.”
Muldoon cleared his throat, warning Sam off.
What was that about? Unsure, Katie pushed. What could be so awful about who held a stupid camera? “Sam, answer me. Who took the pictures?”
Sam looked at her, his eyes riddled with pain and fear and dread. “Katie, I’d rather slit my throat than say these words to you, especially now, after all you’ve been through…”
“What words?” She clasped his arm, gave it a reassuring squeeze. “What’s out there that we can’t fix?”
Muldoon cleared his throat again. Louder. He definitely didn’t want Sam going here. “I think that’s enough for this first visit,” he said. “Sam, let’s leave it there for now, okay?”
“No, it’s not okay.” Katie glared at Muldoon, then at Sam, about out of patience with both of them. “It’s really not okay.” Whatever this was, she didn’t want it to be a demon terrorizing her until his next visit. “Answer me, Sam.” She softened her voice. “Whatever it is, it can’t be as bad as anything in the past six years. Just tell me the truth.”
“The person behind the camera,” Sam said in a voice just above a whisper.
“No, Sam,” Muldoon said, his voice quiet but urgent. “You gave me your word.”
Katie glared at the doctor. “Will you please butt out?”
“No, Katie, I won’t.” Muldoon stepped toward her. “Sam, it’s time to leave. You can visit again… later. After I’ve talked—”
Katie shot him a glare and saw Ashley. She was crying. “What is going on? Somebody tell me what is going on—right now.”
Haunted, Sam shook off Muldoon’s hand on his arm. “She’s my wife, Katie,” he said, tears coursing down his face. “The woman taking the pictures is my wife.”
Chapter Three
Katie fell back on the bed, gasping and grabbing her chest. “I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe!”
Muldoon rushed to her bedside. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” He handed Ashley a syringe. “Give her this.”
Sam moved away from the bed, horrified at the sight of her.
Dr. Muldoon moved in close, whispered softly, reassuring her. “You’re reacting to the shock, but you can breathe. You’re fragile, which is why I wanted Sam to wait to tell you this. You’re okay. Just breathe normally, Katie. Slow and easy. You’re going to be fine. Just fine. Breathe slow and easy now. Slow and easy…”
She felt the sting at her hip, but focused on Muldoon’s words, the sound of his voice.
That which is endured is conquered. That which is endured is conquered. That which is endured is conquered.
It seemed forever, but finally Katie caught her breath.
Sam left her room, and Muldoon said, “Stay with her, Ashley.” He followed Sam out into the hallway.
Ashley clasped Katie’s hand. “I’m so sorry, honey.”
A deep, gut-wrenching sob tore loose from the depths of her soul, but she refused to let it out. She bit her tongue until it bled, and then escaped into a drug-induced sleep.
* * *
Muldoon found Sam leaning against the wall in the hallway, outside Katie’s door. “I specifically warned you not to tell her yet. I specifically warned you that her condition was too fragile for that deep a shock.”
“I have a wife, Dr. Muldoon.” Sam lifted an arm. “Ignoring that fact makes it no less true. I have more to consider here than Katie.”
“I would think, under the circumstances and at this moment, you owe Katie priority consideration, Slater.”
“I am concerned, of course. I loved her. She gave birth to my children. But my priority now is and must be my family.”
“She is your family.” Muldoon frowned openly agitated. “Tell me, is this how you practice medicine?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You’re a doctor. Of all people, you should know better than to traumatize a patient in Katie’s condition. What were you thinking, man?”
“Do you honestly believe that me telling her later would make it easier? It would just be worse. She needs to know the truth before she starts making assumptions that just aren’t true.”
“When she is strong enough to deal with the truth, yes, she does need to know it. But as you clearly saw, she is not strong enough right now.” Muldoon’s temper threatened to erupt. With effort, he reined it in. “You did this deliberately. You never intended to keep your word.” Anger rolled in again, and it sharpened Muldoon’s tone. “I can’t believe it. Forget being a doctor. What kind of man are you?”
“Don’t judge me, Doctor.” Sam glared at Muldoon. “I have a lot to consider in this situation, and I’m doing what I think is best.”
“Best for whom?” Muldoon lifted a hand. “Don’t bother answering that. I already know.” He swiped angrily at the air, parked his fist at his hip. “Just listen to me. You’ve opened this can of worms now and it’s your responsibility to soften the impact on Katie in any way possible.”
“Me?” Sam looked genuinely shocked. “Get her a psychiatrist. I’m an OB/GYN. What do you suggest I do? Give her a pap smear?”
Muldoon’s jaw clamped down so tight it threatened to crack his teeth. An ache shot through his jaw. “Go get her kids and bring them to her—and if she has a friend, then bring him or her, too. Katie needs someone she knows is completely in her corner because it’s glaringly apparent to her and everyone else that you’re not.”
“The children aren’t prepared for this,” Sam said.
“Neither was she. Deal with it,” Muldoon insisted. “You get her kids here to see her, Slater, or I’ll get a court order.”
Anger and resignation blended and settled into the lines on his face. “Tomorrow.”
Muldoon nodded sharply, not trusting himself to say anymore to the man.
Sam glared at Muldoon and turned to look right in the face of a furious C.D. Quade.
“I should’ve known you’d mess this up, too.” C.D. grunted. “Some things never change.”
“Back off C.D.,” Sam said.
>
“Back off?” C.D. stepped closer, got in Sam’s face. “You’re lucky you’re not eating my fist. How could you be that cruel to her?” One hand on his cane, C.D. dragged the other one through his hair, frustrated and outraged. “Stupid question. You’ve always put yourself first. Always. Just whatever it takes to make life easiest for Sam. Katie never saw it, but everyone around her did, and we couldn’t stand you for it.” C.D. stared down at Sam. “Just once, can’t you stop thinking about yourself and think of Katie?”
“I’ve had enough of you judging me—interfering in my life, checking up on my children—and I’m fed up with you sticking your nose into my business.” Sam shoved a hand in his pocket. “I haven’t done a single thing wrong in any of this and yet my whole life is suddenly in shambles.” He lifted a hand. “I’m a widower, but I’m not. I’m remarried to Blair, but I’m not. My kids, who lost their mother, have Blair—the only mother they’ve known and the only children she will ever know—and they all love each other—only all of a sudden she’s not their mother anymore. Our worlds have been turned upside down and inside out, C.D. We didn’t do anything we weren’t supposed to do. Our lives were rolling along fine, and then I got a phone call saying Katie was alive and well and coming home, and from that moment until this one, our lives have been tossed into chaos.”
“Your lives are in chaos?” C.D. couldn’t believe his ears. “Katie has lived in a prison for six years, Sam. Six years, a captive, while all of you lived a normal life. While you ate when hungry, and worked, and went on vacations and to ball games and swim meets, and did exactly as you pleased. During that time, what do you think was happening to her? Have you even once thought about what was happening to her?”
“The woman was dead. Why would I think anything was happening to her?”
“Well, she wasn’t dead—and you’ve known it long enough now to think about what she’s been through, but have you? No. Of course not.” C.D. nearly exploded. “You are hands down the most selfish, self-centered, sorriest excuse for a man I’ve ever met.“ Not liking the haughty, self-righteous look on Sam’s face, C.D. shoved at his shoulder. “Get out. Just get out before I find the closest window and throw you out.”
“You can’t throw me out of here.”
“I can.” Muldoon stepped between them, paused a long moment, and schooled his expression. “Go home, Sam. Bring the kids tomorrow. Katie likely will be sleeping for a long while, if not until morning.”
Sam slid C.D. a killer glare and then turned and headed for the elevator.
C.D. stared at the jerk’s back and told Muldoon, “You should’ve let me throw him out the window.”
“I was tempted to do it myself,” Muldoon said. “But he has a point—about his life and Blair’s and the kids, too. I imagine that’s what has him exercising faulty judgment.”
C.D. muttered his thoughts on that. “If so, he’s had it ever since I’ve known him.”
“Are you by any chance Katie’s first husband?”
“No,” C.D. said. Sam stepped into the elevator, the doors closed, and the chime signaled his descent to the first floor. Jerk should just keep on going. “She had too much sense to marry me,” he admitted to Muldoon. Wonder Man. C.D. had almost forgotten about him. “I was her co-pilot and her best friend.”
A speculative gleam lit in Muldoon’s eye. “Ah, I see.”
“I don’t think so. Katie was married and we both respected that.”
“But you obviously love her?”
“More than life itself.” His knee was stiff from all the sitting in the waiting room. He leaned heavier on his cane. “Since the first time I saw her and she told me to get off her plane.” He punctuated the memory with a self-depreciating laugh. “I deserved it.”
Muldoon looked at him, long and hard. “She has no idea you’re in love with her.”
“Of course not. She was happily married to Sam.” C.D. let him see the truth. “To her, we were a team, friends. Best friends, but nothing more.”
“Well, right now she desperately needs a friend,” Muldoon said, then took a minimal risk. “Katie knows she needs to feel loved to heal and make the transition back into a life where she isn’t a prisoner. I’m thinking you can give that to her.”
“I’ll give her anything I have the power to give, if she’ll let me.” Sadness filled C.D.’s eyes. “We were together on the plane that went down.” He cleared his throat. “I was rescued. She wasn’t.”
“Blame.” Muldoon nodded. “I’m thinking the bond between the two of you is strong enough to overcome that, though she is admittedly angry. Still, it’s obvious she isn’t going to get what she needs from Sam.”
“She never did.” C.D. paused while a nurse rolled a cart down the hallway. “Funny thing is, I don’t think she ever really noticed it. In her eyes, she was living the dream—her perfect life, just as she imagined it as a kid.”
“That was then. She’s different now,” Muldoon said. “She notices everything—and I have to say that I’m seeing her situation a lot more clearly than before today.”
“What are you seeing?” C.D. asked, not following.
“Why you act more like her husband than her husband. I wonder if you haven’t always loved her more.”
“Definitely, but she never noticed that, either, which was just as well . . . considering.”
“Yes, I do think you can help her, C.D.” Muldoon walked toward Katie’s room. He paused outside her door. “I had to sedate her. She’s going to be out for good while. Probably until morning.”
“Doc, I’ve been parked in the waiting room twelve hours. I’m not leaving here without seeing her. Especially not after his majesty’s stunt. She’s got to be devastated.”
“Worse. Lost in despair.” Muldoon’s eyes gentled. Clearly, he recognized that C.D. was the man who would always be there for Katie to lean on. “Why don’t you wait in her room. I think it’ll do her good to see you when she wakes up.”
“Be sure to tell your nurses. They wouldn’t let me anywhere near her.”
“I’ll take care of it. You’ll have total access to her—don’t make me sorry I’m granting that.”
“Never happen. I want the best for her. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“I believe you.” Muldoon nodded. “I know you’re eager to see her. Go on inside.”
“Thanks.” C.D. didn’t waste time. Leaning on his cane, he pushed through the door and saw her, lying on her side in bed. Katie. Oh, Katie. A lump rose in his throat and his eyes blurred.
Ashley came around. “May I help you?”
“I’m C.D. Quade, remember? We met at the nurse’s station?”
“I remember.” She smiled warmly. “Katie was so happy to hear you’re alive.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” C.D. sat down in the chair beside her bed. He couldn’t look anywhere else. Katie was thin. Not gaunt, but she’d definitely been hungry. “Is she okay?”
“She was surprisingly okay.” Ashley said softly. “But Sam really knocked the wind out of her sails.”
The self-centered jerk. “He’s good at that.” Hair smooth and shiny, make up, new dress. “She spent half the day getting ready for his visit.” He imagined how excited she’d been. Excited and happy—things she hadn’t been for a long, long time. That she’d been robbed of that joy infuriated him. His chest went tight and he half-wished Sam would return so he could throw him out the window anyway, for causing her that disappointment. He deserved it.
“All afternoon.” Ashley sniffled. “She was happy. I think she’d been dreaming of their reunion for such a long time, she never even considered that he could be married to someone else.”
Why would she? Her life had been on terminal hold from the moment she’d been taken prisoner. All she’d thought about was getting home. C.D. hated knowing it, hating hearing it confirmed that Sam’s news had come as a total shock. She looked far too frail for that kind of revelation; no wonder Dr. Muldoon had expressly forbidden Sam to tell
her. But Sam being Sam, he had to have his own way. And poor Katie had to still be in love with the jerk to be excited enough about seeing him to tax her strength, primping for him. That’s His Majesty. His way or the highway. Did he even notice the effort she’d made for him? Probably not.
C.D. had often called Sam His Majesty, and fell back into the old pattern as easily as Sam had. In the old days, without fail, Katie had objected to it, too. But truth was truth, and Sam always had put himself on the throne and her below it. Even if Katie never saw it, Sam’s wants and needs came first with him and ranked first and foremost in his mind at all times. Sorry excuse for a man—and worse excuse for a husband.
She deserved better.
“I’ve got some things to do,” Ashley said. “But I didn’t want to leave her alone.” She sniffed again. “After what happened, it just didn’t seem right.”
“It’s okay, Ashley.” C.D. did look at her then and saw the tracks of tears staining her face. His heart warmed to the woman who cared more about Katie than her own husband. “I’m here. I’ll be here as long as she needs me.”
She smiled and warmed up to him. “You’re a good friend to her, then?”
He nodded, owned the guilt and revealed the truth yet again. “I was her co-pilot,” he said again, his voice thick and raspy. “We were together when the plane crashed. I was injured but rescued. She wasn’t.” God forgive him.
Ashley absorbed that in silence. “Well, C.D. Maybe you still can rescue her, too. Because if ever a woman needed someone at her side, Katie Slater does now. What happened today was only half the shock.”
He frowned. “Half?”
“She’s not yet actually seen her children—or their new mother. That’s bound to knock Katie right back to her knees.”
It would. Of course, it would. And the saddest part of it was that as much as C.D. wanted to make everything in her life easy for her from here on out, there wasn’t a thing he could do to shield her from that. She’d have to suffer the full brunt force of it.