by Beth Flynn
“Hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Grunt asked as he held me closely. “Kit, what’s wrong, what happened?”
All of a sudden something dawned on me. There was no way in the world I was going to tell Grunt, or anyone for that matter, that catching Willow performing oral sex on Grizz bothered me. Absolutely no way. I caught myself then and stood back. Thank goodness there were no tears yet. He had his hands on my shoulders.
“Nothing’s wrong really.” I stammered. “I walked in on Grizz and Willow and I’m embarrassed, is all.”
He gave me a look that said he knew I was lying, but being the gentleman he was, he didn’t press.
“You know, he’s been waiting for you awhile. I’m the only one who knows that. I don’t even think Blue knows. Grizz is very prideful. And he’s only human and she’s only too willing. Besides, he was drinking before you even came out to the pit. He’s probably pretty hammered by now.”
“I know. Like I said, I’m just embarrassed. Let’s forget I even came here.” I paused. “Ummm, how long do you think I should wait before I go back?”
My inexperience was showing and I started to blush. Before Grunt could answer, his door flew open and Grizz came in.
“Thought I’d find you here. Let’s go.” Grizz nodded toward the door.
I immediately pulled myself together and said a little too haughtily, “Just wanted to give you some privacy.”
With that I strode past him and was reminded of my first night at the motel. The night I replaced Willow and she’d proudly flounced away from the pit.
I went back to our unit and changed into my nightgown. I washed my face, brushed my teeth and hair and climbed into bed. I’d taken the borrowed books into the bedroom with me. I picked one up and pretended to read. I looked away as he undressed and slid in next to me.
“It shouldn’t have bothered you, Kit.”
“It didn’t bother me,” I replied too quickly. “I was just embarrassed to interrupt, that’s all.”
I was lying on my back and he was on his side facing me with his head propped up on his right hand. He raised an eyebrow.
“Didn’t bother you, huh? So I guess I could’ve been getting head from Willow this whole time and it wouldn’t have bothered you?”
I looked straight at him. “How do I know you haven’t been doing that with her this whole time? What’s it to me? None of my business. I’m sure you do what you want anyway.”
“Damn right I do what I want.”
I didn’t say anything and continued to feign interest in my book.
“Look, she followed me back to number four and asked to use the phone. You know how Willow can be. I guess she had something to prove and I was horny enough to let her. That whore doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“I don’t care if she means anything to you.” I looked at the pages of my book coolly. “Of course, it was really rude of you to let her do that while I could have been in the other room.”
“But I knew you weren’t. I watched Grunt’s room all night. I knew you hadn’t come out.”
“How convenient for the two of you.” I kept my tone even. “Well, like I said, I don’t care. So keep doing what you want. Doesn’t matter to me.”
I turned back to my book and tried to concentrate on the pages.
“Doesn’t bother you, huh?”
“Nope. Doesn’t bother me at all.”
“You sure about that?”
“Yes, I’m sure, Grizz. Why would you even think something like this would bother me?” I asked a little too smugly.
“Because your book is upside down.”
With that I slammed my book shut and sat straight up to face him. “Gosh, Grizz, of all the girls, it had to be Willow? I mean, even Chicky and Moe would’ve been easier for me to handle because they don’t hate me. I’m sure she thinks she has one up on me now. Not that I care. I don’t know. I guess it’s a woman thing. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“So it would’ve been okay if you came in and it was Chicky or Moe?”
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t fathom my own reasoning. Was I upset he was engaging in sexual activity with another woman, or was I upset because the other woman was Willow, a woman who had become my instant enemy?
“You want Willow gone? If you want her gone, all you have to do is say so. You’ll never see her again.”
“Yeah, Grizz,” I said quietly. “I want her gone.”
That was the end of the conversation. We both fell asleep, and when I woke up the next morning he had his arms wrapped around me. I had my back to him and I started to gently lift one of his heavy arms off of me. Then I stopped myself. I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep.
Grizz was true to his word. I never saw Willow again.
Chapter Twenty-One
Grizz became a little bolder in the bedroom after that night, but he still never pressed me. He also started insisting I sleep in the nude like him. I always made sure I had a towel wrapped around me as I climbed into bed, and once I was under the covers I would take it off. This didn’t provoke or anger him, though. He thought it was funny and would just shake his head as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled my backside up against his front.
I actually slept very comfortably in Grizz’s arms. Maybe a little too comfortably. One particular night, not long after the Willow incident, I was enjoying an especially erotic dream.
I was dreaming about the night I lost my virginity to Grunt. The only difference was that I was not drugged and I was thoroughly enjoying our lovemaking. “Nights In White Satin” was playing in the background. He was on top of me and inside me, and his thrusts were rhythmic and I was meeting him each time. I felt his breath at my ear and he was saying to enjoy it, to let go. I had a quick and powerful orgasm. So intense it actually woke me up.
I was disoriented at first, not remembering where I was or who I was with. I was on my back and looked over to my left. And there was Grizz, smiling like the cat that ate the canary. He had his hand between my legs and was still touching me.
I pushed his hand away and sat up, aghast. “Stop it. What do you think you’re doing?”
“Lighten up, Kit. It’s not the end of the world if you let yourself enjoy it a little. Was that your first one?”
“That is none of your business!” I spat as I lay back down and rolled onto my side.
He pulled me against him, and I could hear him chuckling as I tried to fall back to sleep. But I was worried. Why was I dreaming about Grunt?
I spent the rest of the week in a crush-induced fog. I couldn’t get that dream out of my head. I found myself making excuses to be near Grunt. I continued to borrow books, play chess and ask to listen to his records. He would let me hang out in his room when he wasn’t there, and once or twice I tried on his jacket and checked myself out in the bathroom mirror.
It was funny. I felt so differently than I had the first night I tried on Grunt’s jacket. The night I got Gwinny. It was different now. I liked how I looked in it, and I wondered if I would ever get to ride on the back of his bike. I even started to fantasize I was there to be with him, not Grizz.
After a couple of days of making excuses to be in Grunt’s room to listen to his music, I found a brand new stereo system set up in number four. Grizz told me to borrow some of Grunt’s records until he got me my own. You would think I would be excited to have my own stereo, but I found myself disappointed that the main reason I had to hang out in his room had been taken away.
The fog lifted soon enough. It was a Saturday morning a few days later. Grizz told me he had to spend the day away from the motel. He said I could go off the grounds again with Grunt, but not to familiar places and to make sure I wore the baseball cap and sunglasses.
I was elated. This was perfect. I would ask Grunt to take me to the beach. With the thousands of girls my own age, I was certain I would blend in even if I didn’t wear the baseball cap and sunglasses. I put on my yellow bikini and cutoff shorts, slipped my feet into sanda
ls and put my hair in a high ponytail. I headed for Grunt’s room.
I had my hand raised to knock on his door when it swung open. I stood there with my hand still in the raised position. Grunt was coming out of the room and stopped short when he saw me.
“Hey, Kit. You here for books, albums or chess lessons?” he said, laughing.
Grunt was not alone and I had obviously interrupted a private joke. He had his left arm slung around the shoulders of a girl.
Before I could answer him he said, “Kit. This is Sarah Jo. Jo, this is Kit. Kit lives here with Grizz.”
I thought I saw a flash of recognition in Sarah Jo’s face. Did she place me as the girl who went missing back in May?
She held out her hand to take mine and said, “It’s so nice to meet you, Kit. I cannot believe how much you look like my best friend, Kelli. She just moved to North Carolina. I’m supposed to go visit her sometime this summer. You could be her twin sister.”
As she spoke, I sized her up. She was tiny. I mean, all the women at this motel seemed to be of small stature, except for Chicky who was on the voluptuous side, but this girl wasn’t little. She was miniature. She must have been only four foot eleven. She had a cute figure and seemed very well proportioned for someone so small. She had brown hair with gold highlights, blue eyes, a nice tan and a sprinkling of freckles on her nose.
She was adorable. It was hate at first sight.
“Jo is Fess’s daughter.” Grunt was saying. “She’s your age. You should have a lot in common.”
She giggled then and looked up adoringly at Grunt. “Can Kit go with us to the beach? We don’t have to take your bike. We can take your car.”
“Yeah, sure. Kit, wanna come? Looks like you’ve already got your bathing suit on.”
“Uh, no, I was actually just coming down to pick out some books if it’s okay,” I stammered.
“Oh, please come, Kit. It’ll be fun,” Sarah Jo begged.
Was she really this sweet or was it an act? I’d already been fooled by Blue’s wife, Jan. I wasn’t sure how I was feeling and didn’t trust myself to spend the day with them.
“Maybe another time. I’ve got a bad headache and the sun probably wouldn’t help,” I lied.
“Well, don’t read too much, then.” Grunt gave me a funny look that said he wasn’t sure if he believed my excuse. “Reading won’t help a headache. But I don’t keep the door locked. Help yourself.”
Then he turned to Sarah Jo. “C’mon, Littlin. Got your helmet?”
“Right here,” she said as she held it up with her left hand. Her right arm was draped around his waist. She waved to me as they started to walk away. “I’m sorry you don’t feel good. Maybe another time?”
“Yeah. Sure. Definitely.” I answered as they walked off, leaving Grunt’s door open.
Definitely never, I thought, staring through the open door without going in as I tried to figure out what I was feeling.
I wasn’t really troubled by her cuteness. I was cute too. Her blue eyes and bubbly personality didn’t really bother me either. I was always receiving compliments about my big, brown eyes. People always told me how smart I was. I closed Grunt’s door and continued to think about it as I made my way back to number four. I heard Grunt’s bike start.
And I stopped dead in my tracks. That’s what bothered me so much. Sarah Jo was wearing his jacket.
____________
I spent the rest of the day keeping myself busy, grateful I hadn’t made a fool of myself in front of Grunt. He had a girlfriend. I don’t know why it’d never occurred to me that he might.
I had Chowder help me hook up some hoses, then took Damien and Lucifer down into the empty pool and bathed them. They loved it. Moe showed up sometime around one o’clock and I asked her if she could take me shopping. She looked at me skeptically and I told her Grizz had given me permission to go with Grunt. I didn’t see why it wouldn’t be okay if she took me to a couple of places. She motioned that she would and to give her ten minutes. That was enough time for me to go back to number four, check on Gwinny, change clothes, grab my hat and sunglasses and get some money.
Grizz had recently showed me where he kept some cash in case I ever wanted any. This was the first time I’d used some. My eyes widened when I realized the amount of money I was holding and had no choice but to take a hundred dollar bill. There was nothing smaller.
I met Moe back at her car. She drove a Volkswagen Bug. Naturally, it was black. I told her I needed bras. That was one article of clothing that hadn’t shown up at the motel. I also wanted to get another bathing suit. We headed north to the Pompano Square Fashion Plaza, which was north of Fort Lauderdale and not really familiar to me.
I went to JC Penney for the bras and was surprised that I found a bathing suit there, too. It was late June, and the bathing suit selections were usually picked over by this time of year. I settled on an orange and turquoise bikini that fit my top better than the yellow one Jan had given me. I encouraged Moe to try some things on, too. I had never seen her wear anything other than black T-shirts and black jeans. She just smiled and shook her head.
I asked her if we could find a grocery store on the way back and she nodded and took me to a small, family-owned store. It wasn’t in a really good part of town but I wasn’t afraid; I was just worried what Grizz might think if he knew where we were. Was I subconsciously trying to please him? But the grocery shopping was quick and uneventful, and before I knew it, we were heading back toward the motel.
We were back on State Road 84 heading west when she took a left. I realized we were heading into the small town of Davie. I asked her where we were going, and she reached into her ashtray, took out a small key and dangled it. Then it occurred to me. We were going to the post office to check the mail. I found this very interesting. I was curious to see if anyone else received mail besides Grunt.
Soon enough we pulled up and parked at a small building. I asked if I could go in, too. She shrugged her shoulders like “why not?” and I followed her in. We were in a small vestibule area that housed the boxes. I leaned up against a counter that was there for customers to use. I turned around and noticed there was a bulletin board above it. I took note of the lost dogs, horses for sale, babysitters and cleaning ladies for hire.
I heard Moe approaching and was just turning to follow her out when something caught my eye. It was an old missing persons flyer, yellowed with age. The girl in the picture seemed familiar. She had long black hair, parted down the center. Other than that, I couldn’t tell what it was that made me think I knew her. Then it dawned on me and my jaw dropped as I read:
$25,000 REWARD
Missing Person
Last Seen November 12, 1969
Miriam Parker
Aged 20
It was Moe.
____________
I completely forgot about spying on the mail Moe had picked up. I followed her out to the car and got in. I must have been unusually quiet because she kept glancing at me as she started the car. I was speechless. I couldn’t think of what to say. That poster was printed six years ago, and it said she was twenty years old then. So she was twenty-six now. Her real name was Miriam Parker. I think that and her age were the first personal things, other than her missing tongue, that I learned about Moe.
There was a huge reward offered for her return. That amount of money is a lot today. It was really significant back then. That told me she was loved. That someone missed her. How many times had she been at this post office to get the mail? Surely she knew that poster was there. Maybe she didn’t. It was crammed in between a lot of different flyers. I wondered if she was from Davie. If she was, would she feel comfortable going in the local post office? Of course, with her short hair and heavy makeup, I doubted she would be recognized. Had she been kidnapped? Was her family threatened like mine?
I wanted so bad to ask Grizz, but wasn’t sure if I should. I could always ask Grunt, but I was still dealing with mixed emotions concerning him. If she had be
en with the gang since the time she went missing, that meant she would have arrived at the motel about the same time Grunt did. I wonder what he knew.
We drove off and she took some side roads. We were really in the heart of Davie now, and we turned off onto an unpaved road. We followed a fence for what seemed like a long time. On the other side of the fence was beautiful, green pastureland. I noticed horses in the field.
We pulled over at a shady spot. There was a gigantic ficus tree on the other side of the fence, and two horses were under it. She smiled and pointed. I looked at the horses and then at her.
“You like horses?”
She nodded and smiled. Then her smile faded and she didn’t look sad, but wistful. Like she was thinking about the past.
“Did you used to have horses?” I asked, pressing further.
A small nod this time. She never took her eyes off the big brown one.
“Did you have a horse that looked like that one?”
I looked from her to the brown horse and back again and I instantly knew. She didn’t have a horse that looked like this one. This one had been hers. We had just stepped into her past and I was honored and saddened at the same time that she had let me be a part of it. Again, I didn’t know what to say. She shifted the little bug into drive and made a sharp U-turn. We headed back to the motel.
As I carried my groceries into number four, I told her I was cooking dinner and she was invited. She carried my JC Penney bags for me and left them on the couch. I didn’t hear her leave.
I put the change on the dresser and went to feed the animals. After that, I put away my new bras and bathing suit and set to work in the kitchen.
I don’t know if I mentioned I could cook. As I got older at home, I’d taught myself. I was pretty good. I guess it was survival instinct. Vince and Delia usually ate something at Smitty’s or brought home take-out from a fast food restaurant. Early on I’d grown tired of macaroni and cheese, tomato soup and take-out, so I experimented. I knew I was a good cook based on Vince and Delia’s occasional requests.