by Noelle Adams
He was silent until I’d finished the mushrooms. He was so silent that I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking and turned around to face him.
His smile had faded to something serious. “Are you sure you just want to hang out here for Christmas?”
“Of course,” I said, my eyes widening in surprise. “I thought we’d both agreed to that.”
“We had. And it sounds good to me. But I want you to have a really good Christmas.”
“I am going to have a good Christmas. Just with you.”
He was still gazing at me soberly. “You’d be happier with Henry.”
“Dad, please—”
“I know you’re confused, but I’m just saying. You’d be happier with him. Both of us know it.”
I swallowed hard. I’d cried on and off this week but not regularly. I’d mostly felt like I was in a stupor of emotional exhaustion and couldn’t feel anything intensely. But my throat was starting to ache now. “I told you. I don’t know what I want.”
“You do know what you want. You’re just scared of it.”
“I have every reason to be scared. You’re saying I should just forget what he did, how he tricked me.”
“No. I’m not saying you should forget it.”
“And you’re saying that it doesn’t matter that being with him means I’d be dating a prince in the eyes of the world and maybe even one day end up as a queen? You’re saying I’d be able to handle it.”
“I know it wouldn’t be your first choice, but of course you could handle it. Why couldn’t you?”
“Because... all the stress, all the attention... What if I... what if I...”
“What if you what? Be a little less than perfect?”
“No! What if I fall apart again?” The question came out as a broken wail.
He nodded as if he’d expected me to say exactly that. “That’s the thing that’s really holding you back. I know Henry hurt you and that you’ll need to forgive him. But the real problem isn’t that you can’t trust him. That’s not what you’re really afraid of. What you’re afraid of is trusting yourself. You think if you loosen your hold on this one thing, you’ll lose control of everything.”
The truth of his words hit me—like that blow I’d known was coming. I gave a ragged gasp and hugged my arms to my chest.
“I know how hard you’ve worked these past years, how far you’ve come.” My dad’s voice was slow, almost matter-of-fact—the way he always addressed things that were really serious. “I’ve seen it. I’m so proud of you. You should be proud of yourself. But you still don’t think you’re strong enough to let go even a little or face anything more than what’s in your life right now.”
I was shaking helplessly, my arms still wrapped around myself tightly. “What if I’m not? What if I add more—make my life bigger—and it all falls apart? What if... what if I fall back down into that... that abyss?”
“I don’t think you will, but if you start falling, you won’t be alone in it the way you felt before. Henry isn’t going anywhere. That much seems obvious. And even if he did, I’m stronger now too. And I promise that I’m always going to be here. I won’t let you fall very far.”
I choked on a little sob, knowing it was true, knowing that I could trust in him even if I couldn’t always trust myself.
And I realized something else.
I could trust in Henry too. His hiding the truth from me and his being a prince had made it even harder—exactly as my father had said—but it hadn’t made it impossible.
I sniffed and gave my dad a wobbly smile. “So... so what do you think I should do?”
“I think you should talk to Henry.”
“Just... just call him up?”
“You could. Or...” He cleared his throat and stood up. “We have a standing invitation to go to Villemont for Christmas. His parents invited us a couple of months ago.”
“Henry invited me too,” I admitted.
“Well, there we go. We can get on a plane tomorrow and be there for Christmas Eve.”
“But... but...” I was shaking still, but it was from pure excitement now. I wasn’t sure how it had happened, but that block I hadn’t been able to get around had simply disappeared.
“But what?”
“I told him we’d talk again after New Year’s.”
“And you think he won’t be out of his mind happy to see you earlier?”
“I... I don’t know.”
My dad chuckled. “If he isn’t, then it’s just as well to find out about it now so you don’t waste the rest of the holidays mooning over him.”
I gasped. “I wasn’t mooning!”
His chuckle turned into full-fledged laughter. “I’ll go make arrangements. Do you want to call Henry first?”
I froze for a moment, my mind racing. I couldn’t believe this was really happening. “I... I don’t know. Maybe it will be easier to see him in person.”
“Okay. I’ll give his dad a call since someone needs to know that we’re coming. I’ll go get everything ready for us to leave tomorrow, and you can finish dinner. I’m famished.”
He was about ready to leave the kitchen, but I stepped over and pulled him into a hug. “Thanks, Dad.”
“That’s what I’m here for.”
ALMOST EXACTLY TWENTY-four hours later, my father and I were being driven in through the main gates of Villemont in a hired car.
We’d flown to New York and then to Geneva, and we’d had to get up at four this morning to make our first flight. I was exhausted and nervous and overwhelmed and wondering if I’d made a big mistake.
I’d never been to Villemont—a tiny country that spanned only twenty-five square miles and had a population of around fifteen thousand. It wasn’t very far from Geneva, and the drive through the Alps would have been picturesque if I hadn’t been so worried about the snow.
It was coming down pretty hard when we drove down the main street of the city that led up to the palace.
It was a charming historic city—very similar to other cities I’d been to in Europe that dated back three or four hundred years. The streets were narrow and some were cobblestone, and most of the main streets were decked out for Christmas.
I stared out the window while my dad worked on emails on his phone, and I tried not to think about what it meant that we were coming here—visiting the Rothman family, the royal family of Villemont, for Christmas.
When we reached the walls that surrounded the palace ground, I was so nervous I was almost shaking with it.
What if Henry had changed his mind in the week we’d been apart?
What if he’d been having second thoughts about hooking up with a woman who was as high maintenance as me, who had my kind of baggage, who wasn’t sure she could even manage a relationship?
What if he’d returned home and realized I hadn’t been all that special to him after all?
“It will be fine, princess,” my dad murmured, reaching out to put a hand on my arm in a brief, supportive touch.
“Yeah.”
I didn’t have time to say more because the car had stopped at the foot of the stone steps that led up to the front entrance.
“Ready?” my dad asked.
“Yeah. Ready.” I started to open my car door, but a footman who’d come down the steps beat me to it.
They must have known who we were and been expecting us because no one questioned us or ran us through a security check or anything. I was standing next to my father when I noticed someone running down the steps toward us.
I recognized her almost immediately. Amalie. Henry’s sister.
“April!” she called breathlessly. She was beaming at me as she drew near, and she embraced me like we were old friends, although I’d only met her the one time. “We’re so glad you’re here.”
“Thank you,” I said, feeling flustered and self-conscious. I glanced up the stairs but didn’t see Henry coming down them, although Jack was following his wife at a slightly slower pace.
“Does your coming here mean good news for Henry?” Amalie asked, her eyes searching my face the way her brother’s often did.
“I... I don’t really know what it means.”
Amalie nodded, still smiling. “That’s okay. I’m still so happy you’re here.” She reached out for Jack’s hand as he came to stand beside her. “I told Henry over and over that he needed to tell you the truth. I told him it wouldn’t be good when you found out. But did he listen? No. He didn’t.”
“Amalie,” Jack murmured, looking like he was hiding a smile. “Let them get inside before we wade into deep waters.”
“Oh.” Amalie looked briefly guilty before she smiled too. “I’m sorry. I was so excited that I ran out and wasn’t thinking that you’re standing here in the snow.” She gave a friendly smile to my father. “Welcome, Mr. Northam. We’re very glad to have you here.”
“Thank you,” my father said, looking faintly amused.
“My father and mother are waiting inside. They’ll be glad to see you.”
“And...” I couldn’t quite finish my sentence.
Evidently I didn’t need to. “Henry is out right now.”
My heart dropped ridiculously. “Oh. That’s okay.”
“He said he was going for a walk in the snow. I tried to keep him home since I knew you were coming, but he said he needed to get out. He’s not been in a nice mood this week.”
I was trying to hide my confusion and disappointment, but I must not have done a very good job.
“Oh,” Amalie said, her eyes widening. “He doesn’t know you were coming.”
“He doesn’t?” I squeaked, the clench in my chest releasing in a rush of relief.
“No. We didn’t tell him. I kept worrying... I was afraid, after everything, you might end up changing your mind and not come after all. And then he would be... I didn’t want to crush him like that, so we didn’t tell him.” She flashed a little dimple next to her mouth. “He will be very surprised.”
We’d started up the steps, but there were a lot of them and the snow had made them slick so it wasn’t a quick walk up.
“I told Henry,” Amalie said, evidently not finished with our earlier conversation, “that he needed to tell you who he was after the first week. I did the same thing to Jack, you know. We got involved, and I didn’t tell him I was a princess. So I can speak from experience that it’s not a good idea.”
I looked up at Jack’s relaxed face, and he gave me a little smile. “She did do that to me.”
“And did you... What did you do?”
“I was kind of hurt. Of course. But then I remembered I was in love with her and I’d never been a princess, so I didn’t know what it was like.”
I felt a stab of guilt. I hadn’t been nearly as patient and understanding as Jack must have been.
“But it was different with me,” Jack went on. “We just happened to live on the same hall. She didn’t get to know me on purpose, hiding who she was intentionally.”
“Shh,” Amalie said, nudging him with her elbow. “You’re making it sound worse than it was.”
“It was bad,” Jack said, his voice more serious. “It was really bad. If you’d done the same thing to me, I’m sure I would have forgiven you eventually. But I’m not sure I would have been able to come spend Christmas with your family so soon.” He gave me a little wink. “You’re a better person than me.”
I swallowed, feeling more overwhelmed than ever by this conversation by these two people I barely knew, before we’d even gotten in the door.
My dad didn’t say anything at all, but he put a hand on my back briefly as we made it up the steps.
Then we were going inside, and the king and queen were waiting to greet us.
It wasn’t a big hoopla as I’d feared it might be. There wasn’t any sort of ceremony, and the only people present were Henry’s parents, Jack, and Amalie. We chatted for a few minutes, and everyone was pleasant and not too stuffy, and no one mentioned Henry, which was a relief.
Then we were sent to our rooms, being told that dinner would be in a couple of hours.
Amalie came up with us, and we reached my father’s room first. Once he’d gone in, Amalie walked with me into mine, which was just across the hall.
“It’s lovely,” I said. The furniture was antique, and the décor was comfortable and elegant. But it wasn’t particularly luxurious. Henry had said his family wasn’t really wealthy, despite their titles, and he’d evidently been telling the truth. The palace was old, but it wasn’t incredibly fancy or intimidating. I liked the room though, so my compliment was sincere.
“I’ve always liked this room.” Amalie was about to say something else when there was a knock on the door. Assuming it was my dad with a question, I called out, “Come on in!”
Instead of my father, two young women came in. One was taller and blonder than the other, but they were both clearly Amalie’s sisters. They had the same lovely skin and wide smile.
“We had to come meet you,” the blonder one said. “I’m Victoria. This is Lisette.”
I greeted them. All three of them seemed sweet and sincere and not at all spoiled—not even as spoiled as I was. They reminded me of Henry, so I loved them immediately, although I felt a little on the spot as they all smiled and stared at me.
“Does this mean you’ve forgiven Henry?” Victoria asked, her blue eyes clever and direct. “Please say you have. I know he was an ass for not telling you who he was, but he’s really such a good, kind person, and he’s so in love with you.”
I blinked, a shiver of pleasure rushing through me at the words, causing my cheeks to flush hotly.
“Victoria,” Lisette whispered. “Don’t put her on the spot like that. You could at least try to lead into it more subtly.”
Victoria shook her head. “I don’t do subtle.”
“She doesn’t,” Amalie agreed. After a pause, she prompted, “So do you think you can forgive him?”
I sighed. There was no sense in dissembling or trying to keep the conversation casual. All three of his sisters obviously loved Henry a lot and wanted him to be happy. “I... I think so. I mean, I think I already have. It’s just...” They were all looking at me, waiting for me to continue. “It’s complicated. For me. It’s just complicated.”
“He’ll wait if you want to go slow. He’s really very patient and sensitive—for a man, that is,” Victoria said. “And I think he fell for you before he’d even met you.”
“Victoria,” Lisette whispered again, this time giving her sister a little push on the shoulder.
“Why shouldn’t we tell her? Maybe it would help her to know.” Victoria nodded, clearly resolved in continuing her explanation. “It was our mother’s idea, naturally, that you and he should get together. You’ve only met her briefly, but you’ll see fairly soon what she’s like. After meeting your father a few months ago, she got it in her head that you two might be a good match. So she started telling Henry all about you.”
“I’m sure there was plenty to tell,” I murmured. “And I can’t believe she’d be very excited about me after she saw some of the stories out there.”
Amalie and Victoria exchanged a look, and I knew immediately that what I’d said was true.
“She was... a little less enthusiastic,” Victoria admitted.
Lisette broke in, “But it really doesn’t matter to us. We don’t care about tabloids. They printed horrible things about me and my fiancé, Alex. We know exactly what they’re like.”
“As I said, the tabloid stuff wasn’t important to Henry,” Victoria said, taking control of the conversation again. “There has been nothing in those for years about you anyway. But our mother did find a clip from a news show about you with an interview and shots of that literacy program you run.”
“Oh yeah,” I said, remembering when that had been filmed more than a year ago. I’d been trying to build up the publicity for the program, and I’d gotten one of the news shows to cover it. “How did she
dig that up?”
“I have no idea,” Victoria replied. “But she did, and Henry watched it. He’d been reluctant at first—as he always was about our mother’s attempts to find him a match—but after he watched that clip, he wasn’t reluctant anymore.”
“He wasn’t reluctant at all,” Amalie agreed, smiling in the same way her sister was.
“I think he fell for you a little bit right then,” Victoria concluded. “And that’s why he came up with that foolish scheme to meet you in a different context. It was bound to fail, but he didn’t want you to know him as a prince. He wanted you to know him just as Henry.”
I wasn’t sure why, but hearing that little story almost knocked me off my feet. I sat down on the upholstered bench at the foot of the bed and couldn’t think of anything to say.
“It was never about your money for him,” Lisette put in. “Henry’s not like that.”
I knew he wasn’t like that. It was one of the reasons learning the truth had hit me so hard—since it had so completely contradicted everything I’d believed about him.
“He wanted you for you from the beginning,” Amalie added. “And I can understand that you might not want all the attention you’d get from being with him, but it’s really not as bad as you might fear. We’re so tiny no one pays much attention to us. We often have to beg the news to cover our events. There will be some stories, I’m sure, but it will pass quickly.”
“We’re really a very nice family,” Lisette added. “I’m marrying a man who has no money or family or anything, and everyone has been very supportive.”
“Henry is so in love with you he doesn’t know what to do with himself,” Victoria said, as if she wanted to add one more iron to the fire.
I stared at them each in turn for a minute, breathing faster and harder. My heart was pounding so loudly I was sure they could hear it. I could feel my pulse in my ears, in my feet.
What they told me was true. It was the Henry I’d always known. The Henry I loved. And a family that wasn’t cold and judgmental.
I’d be an absolute fool to let him go, no matter what kind of title and lineage he possessed.
“When is Henry going to be home?” I asked at last, my voice breaking slightly.