by E. J. Noyes
The sound of my front door unlocking pulled us out of the kiss but not each other’s arms. A second later, the door swung open and was toed shut again. Brilliant timing, Sabine. Sabs stopped abruptly, her expression one of surprised excitement as she looked from me to Brooke. She didn’t even bother to moderate her manic grin. “Hi, Jannie. Hey, Brooke. How’s it going?”
Brooke raised a hand in greeting. “Fabulously. You?” She moved so we were side by side instead of pressed front on against one another in a way that was probably not polite in my sister’s company.
Said sister’s grin grew even wider. “Same.”
I stepped in before she could escalate things into embarrassment territory. “Where’s Bec?”
“She’s meeting a friend for coffee this morning. Sends her sorry for not being here to help with the cards.”
“Oh, no big deal. Brooke and I finished them last night. She’s a lot less annoying than you at reading out names.”
“I see. Good for you two.” Sabs’s eyes sparkled, her mouth twitched, and I could see the immense effort it was taking her to not ask or say something inappropriate.
I mouthed don’t you fucking dare at her, and guided Brooke around her to the door. “Drive carefully. See you tomorrow morning.”
“You bet.” Our actual goodbye kiss was surprisingly tame considering what we’d been doing for most of the night. She leaned around me. “Catch you next time, Sabine.”
“Mhmm, absolutely, yep. Look forward to it. Take care.” Sabine smiled, waving cheerily at Brooke.
I closed the door with a final murmur of, “Bye.”
Sabine’s hand dropped, her mouth falling open with exaggerated slowness. “You did it, didn’t you? You had sex with a woman. With her.”
I threw my hands up. “Seriously? Am I wearing a sign? Exuding something only women who like women can pick up on? Is there some black light stamp on my forehead or something?” I slid past her and into the kitchen to start coffee.
Sabs followed me, her words practically tripping over each other. “Jannie! This is huge! Come on, come on, tell me everything! How was it?”
“It was very satisfying. And a little different. But good different. Very good different. Overall eight out of ten.”
“Ohmyfuckinggod,” she breathed. After a beat, Sabine queried, “Wait, why the drop of two points?”
“Because it was kind of confusing trying to figure some stuff out which made me feel a little awkward. But she was really sweet about the whole thing.” I couldn’t help my grin. “The second and third times were nine out of ten.” Especially when Brooke found her kinky sex game mask that had been left at my place after the migraine incident.
“In-fucking-credible. God, I didn’t even come my first time. Though, you know, I was only sixteen and we both had no fucking clue. And here you are rocking it on your first attempt.” She held up a hand for a high five.
I slapped her hand as hard as I could, and as she had for the past thirty-something years, Sabine simply raised an eyebrow at my attempt to hurt her. I filled the coffee machine. “Well, I wouldn’t say rocking it, Sabs. I’m still only on my learner’s permit. Lesbian Learner.” I snorted.
She huffed a laugh. “So, uh…everything go okay? Nothing you need to talk about?” She slid the coffee canister along the counter to me.
Sabs and I shared pretty much everything, including nonspecifics of our sex lives. But what I’d shared with Brooke felt almost too personal, too special and I felt suddenly weird about getting into details about it. So I offered a quick, “Yep, everything was fine.” After a breath I added, “It was great, and we talked a lot which was novel, and surprisingly sexy.”
She pulled me in for a long, tight hug. “Good.”
I relaxed into her embrace. “I’m still not sure what happens next?”
Sabs squeezed me, then released me. “More of the same, I’d think.”
“Well, yeah obviously.” More of the same over and over again if I had any say. I set the coffee machine to brew. “The sex is easy, well not easy but it will be when I’m more certain, but you know what I mean. It’s everything else that I’m worried about. I want more, but you know me and relationships. All those from the past decade have lasted a month or two at most, and not at all serious. I think this could be.”
“Shit…”
“Yeah. You’re telling me. I don’t know if it’s just the excitement of her being the first woman I’ve slept with, and it was so crazy good that I want it all the time now even though it’s only the morning after our first romp. Or if it’s because I’m attracted to her mind and body and all that. I mean, we were great friends before this happened, and I think it’s just made everything so much better.”
“Does it really matter why you want her? And do you think that because you want to have sex with her constantly that it’s just mindless lust? Come on, Jannie, when was the last time you slept with anyone just for the sake of having sex?”
“Never,” I said immediately. “I’ve got a vibrator if I just want an orgasm.”
“Right, exactly. I know you, I know how you operate and I know how high your standards are.” Under her breath she mumbled, “Ridiculously so sometimes.”
I stretched out a leg, intending to kick her, but she’d cleverly positioned herself out of my reach. Smiling smugly, Sabs continued, “You have a long and thorough checklist of pre-attraction and attraction before you even consider going to bed with someone. So why would you just be sleeping with Brooke for the sake of her making you come?”
“Well, I wouldn’t.” I let out a long breath. “I’m just paranoid about the whole thing I guess. Worried if I’m going too fast or too slow.”
“Don’t be. Just take it as it comes. She seems pretty easygoing.”
“Yeah she is.” Then I smiled, remembering how not easygoing she’d been while she’d been writhing underneath me, frantic with desire. Ahem. I shifted my thoughts away from the wonder of the night before. “Brooke accepted your unofficial wedding invitation, by the way.”
“Oh, awesome.”
“For the record, I still think it’s way too early to expose her to the combined family crazy. Mom and Dad will probably scare her off. And it’s making a pretty big declaration, don’t you think?”
“No, I don’t think. I think you should do whatever feels right.” Sabs collected mugs and milk. “Speaking of Mom and Dad, when’re you going to tell them?” she asked slyly.
Ahhh, fuck.
Mom beat me to it, phoning just after six p.m. as she prepared dinner—her favorite time to call—which usually meant I had to shout into the phone whenever she set hers on the counter so she could do something else. She was distant when she said, “Sabine said you were thinking of bringing a date to the ceremony.”
“Yes, I’ve invited someone.”
“That’s unusual. You’ve never brought anyone to a family function before.” My mother’s voice was impressively neutral. I’d have given anything to see her face—she must be close to exploding with nosiness and excitement. “He must be special.”
Buckle up, it’s going to be a wild ride. “She, Mom,” I corrected gently, not at all surprised that Sabs had left the gender unspecified so I’d have to tell my parents everything. Shithead.
“You’re in a relationship with a woman and you didn’t tell me and your father?” By the end of the sentence, her voice had risen four decibels and two octaves.
“Yes, I am and it’s very new, like only just over a week new, and I’m not sure where it’s going. But she’s a very good friend aside from…all the other stuff.”
Mom hmmed. “I see. Well, I must say I’m somewhat surprised. I didn’t realize.”
“Yes, I imagine you would be. As am I and pretty much everyone else.”
The refrigerator opened, jars clinked. “So are you a bisexual?”
“I think it’s just bisexual, Mom.”
“Well that makes no sense. Sabine is a lesbian. Mitchell is a gay man. Wh
y not a bisexual?”
Trust my mother to turn this into something bizarre. “I don’t make the language rules, Mom but I’m pretty sure it’s just bisexual. And I don’t know what I’d call myself.” Could you call yourself bisexual if you were only attracted to one woman? I smiled as I thought back to the whiskey-tinged memory of Sabs calling me Brooke-sexual. That summed it up perfectly.
“But you want to date women now too?” There was absolutely no accusation or sadness or disappointment, just curiosity. Mom was just momming, putting everything in its place.
“I don’t think I want to date women, no. But I do want to date this one woman. Look, it’s new and still a little confusing for me and I don’t really know what’s happening.” Well I knew but telling my parents that at the moment Brooke and I were mostly just making out and screwing like rabbits and seeing where that led wasn’t really appropriate.
“Hold on one moment.” She called out to Dad, “Gerhardt! Come here! Jana is dating a woman.”
After an eternity, during which I could hear my parents having a muffled conversation, my father came on the line. “A woman? What’s she do? She worthy of dating one of my daughters?” Leave it to my father to ask that first. Of course, Dad was just dadding.
“Yes, Dad, of course she is. She’s an architect for her father’s property development company. Handles a lot of really important projects.”
“Pah,” he scoffed. “Stable but boring.” Well, I guess I had to disappoint him some way. Bec ticked all the boxes. Despite how Bec and Sabine’s relationship had started—by breaking Army rules—my Vietnam-vet father was predisposed to like Rebecca before even meeting her because she was not only military, but a high-ranking officer. To sweeten the deal, Bec loved discussing military strategy and history with him. And she loved Sabine with every cell in her body.
Would I ever be able to say that about Brooke and me? I knew with certainty that I wanted it, wanted her to feel that way about me and wanted her to fit into my family. “I really like her, Dad, and I think you guys will too.”
Dad conceded with a grunt. “Well…all right then. Here’s your mother back. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”
He was replaced by Mom who’d turned to full fretting mode during my short conversation with Dad. “What about my grandchildren now? You know Sabine and Rebecca will not have children, and you were my last hope. Oh, Jana, I just…”
I scrunched my eyes closed as she rambled until eventually, I couldn’t stand it. “Mom! Listen very carefully. As far as I know, I’m not infertile and there’s more than one way to make a baby, okay? Or to have a child. Like fostering or adoption.”
That brought her down instantly. “Oh. Well all right then. So you still want children?”
“As much as I did before Brooke and I started seeing each other.” I sighed. “Like I said, we’ve only been dating for a week, so kids haven’t really been discussed but my stance hasn’t changed.” Brooke and I had talked briefly about kids, over coffee, when we’d confirmed we both wanted them. I added it to the list of things to discuss later. Much later.
My mother sighed too, but hers was relieved rather than exasperated. “You don’t know how pleased I am to hear you say that. Children are precious, and it’s not like anyone else can keep the Fleischer name going. You know Nancy Erikson is at me all the time about the fact I’m not a grandmother yet, like her daughter is better than my girls when that simply is not true. Jana Banana, you know I’m not the violent type but I could have slapped her right there in the street. But, rise above and all that. So I simply stared her down and laid out every single thing you and your sister and Rebecca have done to make us proud, and she skulked away with her tail firmly between her legs. But my love, grandchildren would just put the frosting on that cake of love and pride your father and I baked for you girls. Please remember that.”
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. I could not believe I was going to expose Brooke to this insanity. “Yes, Mom. I know, Mom. Great analogy and thanks for the pressure.”
“Good. We love you, we’re so so proud of you and we’ll see you soon. And I’m very much looking forward to meeting this architect!”
In the background my father droned teasingly, “Borinnnng.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Having a girlfriend, I discovered, was basically the same as having a really good friend but with the added bonus of snuggles and sex. Such a fabulous combination—why hadn’t anyone ever told me how great it was? We’d laid out weeknight schedules for what nights would be spent at whose house, and Monday after work I drove straight to her place. I barely had time to slip out of my heels before she’d pulled me against her and kissed me. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself.”
Brooke took my hand and led me into the kitchen where she divested me of handbag, briefcase and laptop bag. “Tell me about your day.”
“Condensed version? Long, stressful, not as successful as I wanted it to be.”
Brooke frowned. “Why? Tell me.” She bent low to kiss the base of my neck, lingering against my skin before kissing her way up to my ear where she gently nuzzled the sensitive skin under my jaw.
“Not sure. Grumpy judge, stars didn’t align, maybe I came at things from the wrong angle? And my mediation meeting sucked. I’m pretty sure it’ll go our way, but this woman’s almost-ex-husband is such a lying fucking asshole. I was this close to throwing my water glass in his face. Professionalism is such a drag sometimes.”
“You mean your water?” Brooke swapped to the other side of my jaw, paying it the same attention while her hand worked at the buttons of my blouse.
“No. The glass. Actually I wish I had two so I could have thrown one at his attorney too.” Stupid Weisman.
“I’m sorry.” Her kisses grew light along my jaw.
I shuddered as fingers brushed over my stomach. “I can’t concentrate on what I’m trying to say when you do that,” I said in a voice that was half-complaint, half-surrender. Despite my feeble protest, I angled my head to give her better access.
“That’s the point. It’s supposed to make you forget every shitty thing that happened today. It’s supposed to make you forget about everything except us.”
I shuddered, skin tightening to goose bumps as she undid the last button and parted the fabric. “It’s working. Bad thoughts fading. Oh, and I forgot to mention it this morning, but I told my parents about you last night.” Brilliant timing, Jana. Could you not have held on to that tidbit ’til after?
Brooke’s mouth paused. “Yeah? Were they okay with it?” She straightened so she was at eye level.
“Of course, more than okay. They’re both really excited to meet you. Mom’s still worrying about the grandkids thing, despite my reminding her that there’s nothing wrong with my reproductive organs or my suitability as an adoptive parent. Oh, and sorry but my dad thinks property development and architecture is, and I quote, borinnnng.”
Brooke smiled. “He’s right. It is.”
“Mmm, just be prepared for him to rib you about it, but I promise it’s all in good fun. My family is really goofy, and teasing is kind of a Fleischer love language for us. But if you don’t like it then just tell me and I’ll tell them to dial it down.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine, and I look forward to it.” Her eyebrow furrow was brief, but unmistakable. Also unmistakable was the raised pitch of panic in her voice. “So uh, kids?”
“Yeah. Remember how I’m a failure of a daughter because I’m not churning out grandkids?” My brain finally caught up to her reaction of moments earlier. “Shit, sorry. Hey, I’m not saying you and me right now, or even whenever or at all for kids. I was just trying to…look, my mother is great, but also weird and neurotic about me having kids, so I wanted to warn you. That’s all.”
She visibly relaxed. “Okay, sure. And um, phew? I admit you did have me mildly panicked for a moment there. But I’m looking forward to meeting your family. Weird neuroses and all.”
“Great. Now, sorry, back
to what we were doing before I decided I just had to impart that information.”
Grinning, Brooke pulled my blouse off my shoulders and I shrugged out of it, letting the garment fall to the floor. She guided me backward, carefully directing me through her house. I pulled her top over her head, cupping her breasts, teasing her nipples through her bra. Brooke groaned quietly, yanked me roughly against her, and kissed me with more than a little desperation. We removed clothing as we kissed and fondled our way to the bedroom. Bras, skirts, pants, panties—all left wherever they fell.
“This is like a breadcrumb trail,” I mumbled against her mouth. My hands slid down her back, cupped her ass.
“I don’t need one.” Brooke pressed me against the wall, teeth grazing the base of my neck. “I want to stay lost with you forever.” She pulled my leg up, hitched it around her ass and pressed forward until her hip made contact with just the right spot.
If her words hadn’t already sucked the breath from my chest, the contact against my clit certainly would have. Brooke reached between us and after slicking her fingers through my arousal, paused at my entrance and whispered, “Can I?”
I could only manage a strangled grunt, a desperate nod before she entered me with a smooth thrust. I clutched her back, her shoulders, anything I could grab as she slowly stroked. The grunt turned into an almost embarrassingly needy groan when she hit that perfect spot. I arched, my head hitting the wall behind me with a thunk.
Brooke froze. “Shit. Okay, time to move this to a safer location.”
I tried to protest that right here was just fine and I wasn’t hurt and please for the love of orgasms, don’t stop now. But she carefully released me and led me the final few feet into her room. I’d never been in her bedroom but was too focused on other things to pay much attention at that moment.
A few vague details registered—scented candles, paintings of female nudes on the walls, a sculpture on the floor and the sensation of being immersed in a forest which I later realized was probably the color scheme of greens and earth tones and the laundry detergent she used on her sheets. I pulled her down to the bed and rolled us so she was on top of me.