by Tracy Brody
When he went for the button on her pants, she stopped him. Though she did dangerous, she didn’t do stupid. “You sure the door’s locked, and everyone’s gone?”
“Team is long gone,” he assured her, keeping his hands still, waiting for her permission to proceed.
Leaving to go someplace safe to be together would kill the mood. Her conscience accused her of using him for sex by not telling him she’d be leaving soon, but reducing their relationship to sex might make it easier when the time came for them to end things. Oh, hell. She tugged at his shirt, pulling it free.
He helped by unfastening his belt and unbuttoning his pants. “Let me.” He crossed his arms and took hold of the snug combat shirt and pulled it off.
If Mack was half dressed, it was only fair if she ditched her uniform top. Velcro ripping apart sounded overly loud. As soon as she shrugged out of the jacket, he pulled her back for another consuming kiss.
His fingers traced down her sides, skimming the curve of her breasts. They slipped under her waistband and gripped her T-shirt, working it free, then up and off.
As if he’d read her mind earlier, he maneuvered her back until she was flush against the wall. He separated their bodies enough for him to unbutton her pants and work them down her thighs. They dropped, and with her boots already off, she kicked them away. No backing out now.
Gliding his hands up her body, he raised her arms over her head and pinned them there with one hand. She inhaled the woodsy scent of him as he held her against the wall, kissing her senseless while his arousal pressed hard against her. Their bodies were damp from the earlier exertion and the heat building between them.
He slipped a hand inside her panties. His thumb stroked her in exactly the right place, eliciting a needful moan.
“More,” she rasped out the plea.
He responded by inserting two fingers, still teasing her with his thumb. She pressed against the wall to ride his hand, already near the brink. “I need you. Inside me,” she panted.
Like a good soldier, he followed orders. He tortured her, rubbing his length against her with tantalizing slowness. She raised one leg until her knee rested beside his hip. His tip teased in, then out. Again. And a third time. Her leg wrapped around his bottom, giving him full access and her leverage as she freed a hand and brought it down to cradle his head. She nipped his ear before she kissed him fiercely.
Foreplay was over.
He reached down, locked his arms around the back of her thighs, and lifted her off the ground. She draped both legs over his hips and slid down, moaning as he buried himself inside her, then gasping with each powerful, upward thrust. It wasn’t the kind of sex meant to last long. This was going to be fast, hard, hot, and kinda rough and dirty. Which was working for her.
As she got closer, her calf muscles quivered, and her body tightened around him. He was in tune with her and slowed the pace, nearly pulling out and holding for a moment before plunging back inside deep and hard. His arm under her buttocks added to the force. A few more times was all it took. She held him tight as she came. Neither of them could breathe, which heightened the pleasure when he came, too. She didn’t count how many times she clenched before her body went limp, and her head dropped to his shoulder.
He cradled her against him, keeping their bodies joined as he kissed her cheek, her temple, then rubbed his cheek against hers. Her labored breathing came easier, and tension returned to her limbs. Her legs slipped from their locked position and slid down his thighs to the floor. He edged his hips back, reluctantly pulling out.
She spotted their clothes strewn around them. “We should probably get dressed.”
“We don’t let anyone, not even a cleaning crew, come in here. Oh …” He made a face, removed the condom, then looked around the room. Once he got his pants up, he grabbed the torn pieces of duct tape and wrapped them around the used condom. “Problem solved.” He dropped it in the trash.
He cast her a hopeful look as they finished dressing. “I was planning to see if you wanted to go somewhere tonight. A hotel or even pitch a tent. I—I want to wake up with you in the morning.”
“Can’t very well do that here.” His sweet words reminded her of all they might have had—and now wouldn’t.
She sat to lace her boots with the paracord. It might be one of their last chances to spend the night together. It could also give her the opportunity to break the news. Which would be a buzzkill, and probably not the best idea. Besides, what if they got caught? Like a coward, she went back and forth, unable to commit as he cleaned up the supplies used in tonight’s lesson.
“We can pick up something to eat. Where to go is the question. We could leave your—”
The doorknob rattled. Kristie’s heart jumped. Mack whipped his head toward the door, to her, then back to the door. Keys jangled on the other side. He turned his hands up in a what-do-we-do gesture like she’d know.
A quick check that clothing was in place, other than her boots and jacket, dialed her pulse back a notch or two as Mack rushed to the door and opened it.
“Oh, you are still here.” Colonel Mahinis strode in carrying a file folder and wearing a perplexed expression. “Where’s Vincenti?”
“He had to bolt after we finished showing Chief Donovan escape techniques. We were cleanin’ up and changing out paracord for her laces. You get some intel?”
Though Mack sounded remarkably casual, she bent over to pull on the boots to avoid eye contact with the colonel.
“Nothing major, but I fly up to D.C. in the morning and wanted to leave this for Chief Lundgren.” The colonel handed the file to Mack. “The DEA has an agent undercover in the Cauca area. Buzz there is Herrera’s men have significantly kicked up recruiting protection forces, and there’s talk of them setting up actual training.”
“Training them to use an AK-47 versus handing over a weapon and wishing them luck?”
The way the colonel cocked his head and puckered his mouth made goosebumps break out on Kristie’s arms. “You don’t think they’d come here, do you?”
“At this point, we don’t know what his plans are.” His noncommittal tone fed the fear in Kristie’s gut. “I assure you we’ll do everything in our considerable power to protect you. We’re in this for as long as it takes. Herrera may have resources, but he’s due for more bad karma. I’ll let the chief know if I get more intel from my contact at the DEA.”
He moved to the door. “If you’re done for the night, I’ll walk out with you. I appreciate you sacrificing your time to work with my men. I recognize it’s not how you want to spend your time, but it’s what we need to keep you, them, and their families safe.”
Safe. If only there were a way to ensure they could all be safe from Herrera beside her deploying halfway around the world. What the colonel had shared did absolutely nothing to give her hope.
Thirty-Four
Late Monday afternoon, Mack hung out in the conference room, shooting the bull with Vincenti after a long day of training. He’d refrained, barely, from telling Dominguez he’d drive over to the airfield to serve as Kristie’s escort. She’d texted earlier that she needed to talk to him tonight, but it would have to wait until later. His buddies knew him too well, and showing an extra interest in her could raise their suspicions. He wasn’t a hundred-percent sure Colonel Mahinis bought their innocent act last week, and he’d only been in the room with them for a couple of minutes.
Their tryst had been on the reckless—yet oh-so-satisfying—side. If the colonel had shown up a few minutes earlier … He didn’t want to think of what might have happened.
Fortunately, he hadn’t, but his surprise appearance and the intel update had doused the embers still smoking in the conference room. After that, Kristie had claimed not to be hungry and used an excuse about an early schedule to shoot down his plan to spend the night together. Since he had the girls over the weekend, he was dying to lay eyes on her. He could look, even if he couldn’t touch, with the entire team also in the room.
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It’d been two weeks without any suspicious tailing, but they all knew better than to let their guard down, no matter how badly he wanted this wrapped up so he and Kristie could get back on track. If anything, their separation made him realize how much he wanted a real shot at a relationship with her. The past two nights after the girls went to bed, he’d worked on his Warrant Officer Candidate School application. He’d do whatever the hell it took for them to have a chance at a future together.
The moment the conference room door opened, Mack’s gaze shot there. Dominguez walked in, without his usual jabber, Kristie right behind him. It only took a second for her sullen expression and the way her shoulders sagged like she’d been saddled with the weight of the world, to clue Mack in that something was off.
It didn’t escape Ray’s notice, either. Before Mack caved to the instinctive urge to go to her, Ray pulled Kristie aside.
What could have … Dominguez! He glared at his teammate.
Dominguez froze when he caught Mack’s expression. “What?” he mouthed.
Mack jerked his head toward Kristie, steam probably pouring out of his ears. “What’d you say to her?” he mouthed back.
Dominguez’s mouth tightened, and he glared back as he stalked over to Mack. “All I asked was if she was ready for some fun driving tonight. She was moody from the minute she got out of her car. She’s tough, but this stress could be getting to her.”
Damn. Dominguez might be right. The constant prepping for the worst contingencies had to be draining and gave her no downtime to put Herrera out of her head. As isolated as they were keeping her, she probably needed someone to talk to. Right now, he needed to dial it back a notch and figure out a way to help her deal with all this.
He edged closer to the chief, straining to listen in.
“I can’t say yet.” Kristie’s gaze landed on Mack with a pained expression before darting away.
“If it impacts the safety of my team, then you need to tell me what is going on,” Ray pressed.
“What I’m doing is for the safety of your team! And your families.” The emotion and desperation in her voice sliced through Mack. “I need—” Her eyes closed, and she gave a defeated huff before her lips disappeared, and she dipped her head. When she opened her eyes, she looked at him, not Ray.
“I’ve asked Colonel Ball for a transfer to a—”
Transfer? The word penetrated right through his chest wall.
“If you do that, we can’t protect you,” Ray cut her off.
“You won’t have to. I’ll be deployed to Afghanistan.” Sorrow filled Kristie’s eyes.
Stunned silence echoed in the room.
“But what about …” Us? Mack swallowed down the word that turned rancid in his mouth.
“Actually, that makes a lot of sense,” Tony said. “Even if Herrera’s goons find out where you’ve gone, you’re not accessible. They aren’t going to hang around waiting until you come back. Or—” He paused, and Mack wanted to tell his friend to shut the fuck up, but the words kept pouring out. “Would you come back?”
Fear crawled up Mack’s spine like some insidious insect.
“A unit out of Wiesbaden has a pilot who needs to go home due to a family emergency. I’ll be taking his place. And”—she paused, exhaling audibly—“I will stay with that unit after their tour of duty.”
She’d been planning this, yet she hadn’t said anything, anything, to him? No, she had tried to tell him. That’s what she’d wanted to talk about. And she made the decision without him. A temporary separation was one thing—hell, it was an expected part of military life—but Germany was halfway around the freaking world. Mack’s hope for them to have a future slipped through his fingers like mist.
“This way, you all will be safe. Your wives, your sons, and your daughters will be safe.” Kristie scanned the faces as she spoke, landing on Mack as she drove her point home. “Eventually, Herrera has to give up, and I’ll be safe.”
It made nearly perfect sense. Still, thoughts ricocheted inside his skull as he chased after any alternate way to keep from surrendering her.
“When would you leave?” Ray’s voice sounded raw.
“My pre-deployment checklist is pretty short. Nothing’s changed since last time. I figure with completing the paperwork and arranging travel, it’ll be about a week, maybe ten days, before I ship out.”
“Until then, we’re going to continue like nothing’s changed. We’re staying on task with the defensive driving tonight. Time on the range later this week,” Ray declared.
Oh, this wasn’t a done deal yet. Mack rallied and shifted to battle mode. They couldn’t do it here or now, but they would talk this through.
Tonight’s defensive driving was dangerous yet exhilarating. It helped expel her frustration, but after two hours, Kristie’s body was drained of energy, and her stomach was still sick from blindsiding Mack with the news. Somehow, she’d held it together and not broken down into tears at the look on his face.
Both AJ and Juan walked with her to the parking lot. Her feet dragged, and her energy level took another hit when she spied Mack’s truck next to her car. Had he been waiting this whole time?
He got out as they approached.
“Thought I was escorting her home,” AJ said.
“No. I got this. Need to give her the tracker Porter put together,” Mack said, his expression unreadable.
“Thanks, man.” AJ gave her a farewell salute and detoured to his car.
Mack blocked her access to the driver-side door; she didn’t even attempt to get in. She’d seen this coming.
“We need to talk.”
“I know,” she responded. “I wanted to tell you first. I tried, bu—”
“How can you make a decision like this without consulting me?”
She went from resigned to defensive in one second flat. “Because you’d have tried to talk me out of it. You’re too damn close to the situation. You’re looking at it from the perspective that you have to go to war with Herrera. This is a battle you don’t have to fight. Sometimes it’s better to walk away and avoid the carnage.”
“You’re walking away from us!”
“Do you think I want to? I don’t. But I have to face reality, Mack. Things working out for us was a long shot from the get-go. If something happened to Amber or Darcy because of this, I’d never forgive myself. You’d never forgive yourself. Or me. We’d never be able to overcome that.” She took his hand. To hell with it, if anyone saw. This was the end anyway. “This sucks, and it’s not fair, but it’s the best alternative for everyone.” Everyone else.
His face scrunched in emotional turmoil, hopefully accepting what had to be. “But what if we get Herrera—?”
“What if you don’t? Or someone dies?” She couldn’t let him sway her with false hope.
“This doesn’t have to be the end. At some point, the law or a competing cartel will bring down Herrera.”
She gave an agreeable nod. “Eventually, yes. There’d still be the rank issue, and”—she kept going when he tried to interrupt—“I don’t know that I’ll ever get over my fears about what you do and what could happen to you. These past two weeks, getting an inside look at what you face with every mission … I swore I’d never get involved with someone in Special Ops again, but damn if you didn’t make me fall for you.” Her voice broke along with the dam holding back her tears.
She’d begun to believe they had a chance. Losing Mack and the girls hurt almost as much as losing Eric. It would get worse if she didn’t end things now. It wouldn’t be fair to any of them to put their lives on hold indefinitely. He could easily find a woman to share his life with. One without her complications, who could commit and wouldn’t put his daughters’ lives in jeopardy.
He pulled her into his arms. “This feels like getting the shit kicked out of us.”
“At least we live to fight another day.” The cliché didn’t stop her heart from shattering. Part of her didn’t want to go on without him
. However, this would not kill her; Herrera would. The prolonged torture would fade. Once she deployed, she’d stay too busy to grieve. The distance would give her the perspective to accept they weren’t meant to be.
She summoned her resolve and eased out of his hold. The car beeped when she unlocked the doors. “You’re still stuck with escort duty.”
“To the Landmark Inn? I need to come up with you tonight.”
“You can’t.”
A range of emotions flashed across his face. Anger. Frustration. Resignation. Sadness. Determination.
He took a small box out of his pants pocket. The kind used for jewelry. “Here. This is what I need to give you.”
“What is it?” She couldn’t take it from him.
He shook his head with a clearly exasperated sigh. “The GPS tracker Porter made for you.”
She accepted the box, surprised when a wave of disappointment rocked her. She opened the top. A belly button ring? “Really?”
“It’s something no one will see. You can wear it all the time.”
“It’s a tracker?” The pretty floral design was larger than most she’d seen.
“Yes.” He took it from the box, then flipped it over. “Because of the size, it doesn’t have a long battery life or huge range, so only turn it on if you need to. You do that by turning the flower part. It’ll send a notification of your location.”
“To who?”
“Me, but only if you activate it. I won’t be stalking you.” He held eye contact with her. “I’d appreciate it if you’d put it on tonight to test it. Get familiar with how it works. Guess I won’t be there to, uh, show you how.”
She dropped her gaze from his hopeful one. If he came to her room, her resolve would collapse like a sandcastle when the tide rolled in. “No, but I will test it out,” she promised before getting into her car.