* * *
That night poor Freddie, who Clara often collected from the bus stop after school, walked around with such a maudlin look on his face that Kathleen felt awfully sorry for him.
‘Why does she have to marry that silly lord?’ he asked, when Kathleen tucked him into bed. ‘Couldn’t she find someone here to marry?’
‘She’s in love with him.’ Kathleen smiled. ‘One day you might find someone to love like that.’
‘But I love Clara.’
‘And I’m sure she loves you, darling. It’s just that you’re a little too young for her.’
‘Ronan’s not. Why can’t she marry him?’
‘Because she’s marrying Charles Fitzpatrick. And, in any case, Ronan has a girlfriend, Trish up in Armidale.’
‘He never brings her here.’
‘Maybe he’ll bring her here one day soon.’
‘I bet she’s not as pretty as Clara.’
‘Well, we’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?’
As she said that Kathleen hoped Ronan would bring Trish down to meet the family. From what he had said, she sounded lovely.
‘He’ll bring her down to meet us in his own time,’ James said when Kathleen raised the subject. ‘Don’t pressure him.’
‘I’m not pressuring him,’ Kathleen had answered testily. ‘I’d like to meet her, that’s all.’
All that Kathleen wanted was that Ronan would be happy. And if Trish was making him happy, she knew she would like her very much.
* * *
As time went on Kathleen felt a huge void without Clara, and she missed Shannon Boy, though she often rang up Tommy Brown to see how the colt was getting on.
‘He’s settling in quite well,’ Tommy said. ‘So don’t worry about him.’
Kathleen was concerned about him being confined in a stable most of the time instead of roaming the wide-open paddocks of Eureka Park, but she had to put her trust in Tommy. Now that she had more time on her hands, she put extra effort into her photography, often spending hours up in the bush taking photos of the wildlife. One day she even managed to photograph a kangaroo with a joey peeping out of her pouch, and a koala nestled in a gum tree. Getting up early she captured some spectacular sunrises and at the end of the day, beautiful sunsets. Lorna was her greatest fan, so Kathleen made up a small album to give her for her birthday.
Two days later Lorna rang. ‘I showed that album you gave me to a friend. She loved them. She reckons there’s a cousin of hers in Tamworth who owns a gallery. He might give you a chance to sell a few. You need to get them out there. They’re too good to be hiding in boxes at your place.’
So Kathleen mounted a few of her photographs, which she’d enlarged from the negatives, and took them in to the gallery. Much to her delight the proprietor, Roger Mann, said he would give her some wall space to display them.
‘I’ll take thirty per cent of the takings and you get the rest.’
‘Thank you,’ Kathleen said, chuffed that he was taking her efforts seriously.
A week later he rang up and told her he’d sold three photos: the one of the kangaroo with her joey, one of Shannon Boy resting his head on the post-and-rail fence, and one of the wattle trees in full bloom near the dam in the bottom paddock. Kathleen was delighted, especially when he told her that he might let her have her own exhibition if they sold many more.
‘I’ve made ten pounds,’ she said excitedly to James when she got off the phone. ‘How about that?’
‘Well done,’ James said. ‘Spend it on yourself. Buy a new dress or something nice.’
This annoyed Kathleen, who hoped the income from her photographs might become more than something to spend on treats like a new dress. She wanted to make a real business out of it. For although things were less tight at Eureka now that they had sold quite a few yearlings and Caesar and the other stallion they had purchased were more than earning their keep, every little bit helped. To that end she decided to take a series of photographs that she could group together. People might even buy the whole series if she did have her own exhibition; instead of selling just one photograph, she might be able to sell five or six. She was going through some photos to see what could be suitable when Lorna Medlow called in on her way home from spending the weekend with an old school friend in Gunnedah.
‘What a great idea,’ she said when Kathleen told her what she was doing. ‘I can see people having a whole row of those photos on a wall. You can give them names. Like The Thoroughbred Series, The Wildflower and Wildlife Series, The River Series and heaps more.’ She picked up a photo and held it in her hands. ‘Do you know what? I think I might even put an order in myself. For Jack and Maddie. I know Jack would love to have a reminder of his time here. Yes … Can you do me a Eureka Park Series? With the homestead, stables, horses and anything else you can think of?’
‘Oh, Lorna, are you sure?’
‘But I am. They’ve moved into a new house on the place Jack’s working at. I gather it’s run-down and neglected. These will be just perfect to cheer it up a bit. And maybe you could do me some for the nursery.’
‘It’s lovely that they’ve now got baby Margo.’
Lorna opened her bag and showed Kathleen a photo of a round and jolly baby with a mass of dark curls. ‘I’m headed up there again in a couple of weeks. Could you have my photos ready by then? I can pick them up on the way through.’
‘Of course. And, Lorna, I’m so glad it’s all worked out okay with Maddie.’
Lorna smiled. ‘Maybe not quite like I’d imagined, but that’s life, isn’t it?’
As Lorna drove off after they’d had another cup of tea, Kathleen was happy for her friend — and for Jack and Maddie and little Margo. She was excited, too, that she had her first order for her ‘series’ photographs. She would need to get cracking to have them ready in a couple of weeks.
CHAPTER
33
It was a cold and wet afternoon in July when Tommy Brown rang Kathleen.
‘I’ve given him a few runs against the other horses here,’ he told her. ‘I know he’s got potential, but he’s not performing as I’d imagined.’
Kathleen’s heart sank. Was he going to ask her to bring him home?
‘I’ll keep him on for a while longer; however, we’ll need to have another look in a few weeks. No point in taking your money if he’s not going to make it.’
‘Yes, of course,’ Kathleen said. ‘I quite understand.’
Should she tell James? Maybe it was better to leave it for a few weeks and see if Shannon Boy improved. Kathleen was paying some of the trainer’s fees out of the money she was making from her photographs, so it wasn’t all falling onto the stud. Not only had Lorna paid for her order for Jack and Maddie, Kathleen was also managing to sell quite a few of the ‘series’ at the gallery and was getting ready for an exhibition. Even so, Shannon Boy’s fees were a drain on their finances — something James had brought up more than once.
Now the phone rang again and she picked it up. She hoped it might be Lorna and she could chew over what Tommy had said. But it wasn’t Lorna. It was the telephone exchange to say there was a call from England. On the line was Jessica, and she sounded in a dreadful state.
‘Oh, Kate,’ she spluttered, ‘you won’t believe what’s happened.’
‘What do you mean? Are you ill?’
‘Nothing like that.’ Kathleen heard her sobbing down the phone. ‘But it’s just so awful I can hardly bear to tell you. Clara’s called off her engagement to Charles Fitzpatrick.’
‘Oh my goodness,’ Kathleen exclaimed. ‘Why would she do that? She seemed so happy about it when she was here.’
‘She tells me she’s decided she’s too young. And she doesn’t want all that responsibility. The humiliation for poor Charles! Not to mention his family. And imagine it — all those engagement presents that have to go back.’
‘Oh, Jessica, I’m so sorry,’ Kathleen said, trying to soothe her. She realised how devastated Jessica mu
st be; not only was there the humiliation for the Fitzpatrick family, Jessica would also be humiliated.
‘What’s Clara going to do?’ Kathleen shouted down the line, which was now fading in and out. ‘I mean … Where is she? She must be beside herself.’
‘She told me she was going overseas again. She took off yesterday for Paris.’
‘Goodness! Does she know anyone in Paris?’
‘Yes, she has an old school friend there.’
‘Do you know where she’s going to after France?’
‘Lord alone knows. Maybe she’ll come back over to you. She told me she was so happy with you there at Eureka Park. I’ve been stewing over that for ages. I’m wondering if something happened when she was there. Did you notice anything? I mean … do you think she met someone there who may have made her change her mind about marrying Charles?’
‘Not that I know of.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Jessica, I wasn’t with her twenty-four hours a day. As far as I know she met no one else while she was here with us. Anyway, this must be costing you a fortune.’
‘Never mind. What about that dance in a barn she told me she went to?’
‘It was for Lillie’s friend Deb’s birthday. She went with Lillie and Ronan.’ Kathleen was starting to get really angry. It seemed as if Jessica somehow wanted to blame her for Clara’s behaviour. ‘Jessica,’ she said, trying to control her voice, ‘if you think she met someone else over here, why don’t you ask her yourself?’
‘I did. She denied anything.’
‘Well … I think you’ll find she’s telling the truth. Why don’t you believe what she told you? She thinks she’s too young to take on that responsibility. And … quite frankly, Jessica, I must say I think I agree with her. When she got home she probably realised what she was letting herself in for. Even if she does love Charles, she possibly felt she had more living to do before she settled down.’
‘It was all organised,’ Jessica bemoaned. ‘I was going to live with them at Drominderry House. Well … not all the time. But certainly part of the time.’
Kathleen shook her head. The truth was starting to come out. Jessica was definitely more upset for herself than for Clara and Charles Fitzpatrick. Kathleen had put up with Jessica’s selfishness for as long as she’d known her. Now it was really starting to irritate her.
‘Are you sure you’re not more upset for yourself than you are for Clara and Charles?’
‘My sweet … what a dreadful thing to say. Of course I’m not. I’m trying to work out what went wrong. When she left here she seemed perfectly happy with the prospect of marrying Charles. When she came back she seemed different somehow. And then this.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Kathleen said. ‘I wish I could help you, Jessica … but honestly I’m as much in the dark as you are.’
‘She’ll need to make it up to me,’ Jessica said.
‘Jessica … it was her decision to make. Not yours.’
‘You’re taking her side, aren’t you?’
‘I’m not taking anyone’s side.’
‘I thought you were my friend. That I could rely on you to let me know what was going on. Quite frankly, Kate, I’m disappointed in you.’
This is going nowhere, Kathleen thought, and it’s costing Jessica an arm and a leg. The exchange had already given two extensions of time. I refuse to be made responsible for Clara’s decision and Jessica’s unhappiness.
‘Jessica, I must go,’ she lied. ‘James is waiting for me down at the stables. The vet’s coming and I need to be there.’
‘Really! Well, don’t you worry about me,’ she said, sounding put out. ‘Do what you have to do. Go, my sweet. Go.’
Kathleen heard the line go dead. For some time she stood in shock. She’d never heard Jessica speak like that before. It was the tone of her voice that confounded Kathleen. It was more than embarrassment or disappointment that the wedding had been cancelled. It was real resentment. Kathleen worried for Clara. It was obvious Jessica was going to be of little consolation to her. It wasn’t a decision to be made lightly. Having made it, Clara would undoubtedly be riddled with remorse for having hurt Charles. The one thing she would want more than anything else at a time like this was a mother’s shoulder to cry on. Not a mother infuriated by her decision. For a moment she thought of the looks she had seen pass between Ronan and Clara when they were saying goodbye. But she soon pushed that right out of her mind. Clara was too young and had realised it. That was enough reason for pulling out of the marriage.
When she had calmed down she went and found James in the stables to tell him what had happened. And how Jessica seemed more concerned for herself than for Clara.
James was cleaning the hoof of a new stallion they had just bought at a William Inglis sale along with three more brood mares. Putting down the hoof, he sighed. ‘I feel for Clara. It must’ve been a huge decision to make. But I’ve no sympathy for Jessica at all. She’s a …’
He stopped himself and turned away.
There was something in his voice that gave Kathleen a start. ‘She’s a what?’ she asked.
‘Oh, nothing,’ James said, picking up the stallion’s hoof again. ‘She’s very selfish, that’s all … Only interested in what’s good for Jessica. I’ve always known that. Maybe you’re starting to find out.’
As Kathleen went back up to the house she thought he was probably right. Jessica always had, and always would have, Jessica as her number one priority. But seeing the angry look in James’s eyes when he said he had no sympathy for her made Kathleen wonder if Jessica had ever done anything to James to make him dislike her so much. Something Kathleen knew nothing about.
Maybe I’m imagining it, she thought. He’s probably worried for Clara, who he’s always loved dearly. The same as I’m worried for her. She was glad she’d decided not to tell him about Tommy Brown’s phone call. It would only add to his bad mood.
* * *
‘How dreadful for everyone,’ Lillie exclaimed when she got home from school that Friday evening and Ma told her what had happened. She imagined the turmoil the Fitzpatricks must be in, let alone Jessica. And of course Clara must be shattered as well.
‘Do you think anything happened here to change her mind?’ Ma asked. ‘I mean … Jessica seems to think she might have met someone else while she was here. I told her that was ridiculous. Surely you or Ronan would’ve told me if you thought she had.’
A vision of Ronan and Clara dancing together flashed before Lillie’s eyes, but she wasn’t going to blurt out her suspicions to Ma. It would just make it awkward all round. And in any case, Lillie was probably imagining the whole thing. Why couldn’t everyone believe what Clara had said? That she was too young? It’s what everyone thought, anyway. Even so, Lillie couldn’t help thinking that she mustn’t have been really in love. If she were, surely her age would make no difference. Maybe when she went back and saw Charles again she decided he wasn’t the one for her. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. In this case it might have done the opposite.
‘One fella asked her to dance at Deb’s party,’ she said to Ma. ‘But she gave him short shrift.’
‘Well, it’s beyond me,’ Ma said. ‘Jessica seemed to think she might want to come back here after staying with her friend in France.’
‘Here? Why would she want to do that?’
‘She told Jessica she was really happy here with us all.’ She smiled. ‘Freddie will be beside himself if she does decide to come back.’
‘There’s nothing for her here, Ma. Surely she’d want to go somewhere more exciting? Like other parts of Europe.’
‘When you’re upset, as she undoubtedly is, she might want to be with people she knows.’
She obviously knows her friend in France, Lillie thought, but said nothing.
In the end, no one heard from Clara, so they had no idea what her plans were. Even Ronan didn’t hear a thing.
‘No, why should I?’ he replied when Lillie asked. ‘
If she contacts anyone it would probably be Ma.’
‘Just wondering, that’s all.’
‘Well, you’ll have to keep wondering until we hear something.’
But as Christmas came and went no one did.
CHAPTER
34
Two days after the family welcomed in 1967 with a New Year’s Day lunch at the Telegraph Hotel as guests of the Hogans, Ma received a phone call. Clara was in Hong Kong and wanted to visit Eureka Park. And so come a muggy Saturday afternoon in February, Lillie found it hard to believe that here was Clara sitting at the kitchen table with her and Ma.
‘I wasn’t able to do it,’ she said. ‘I realised I didn’t love him. I couldn’t tell him that. So I said I thought I was too young. Mummy, of course, was furious. I’ve never seen her so cross. You’d think I’d tried to murder the Queen, not called off an engagement.’
‘I daresay she was upset for the Fitzpatricks,’ Ma said. ‘It must’ve been a dreadful blow for them all. Not just Charles.’
Lillie wanted to say it’d be the gossip that Jessica would have got herself in a stew about. Gossip in Ireland spreads faster than a fox fleeing a pack of hounds. And with Charles a lord, it wouldn’t be long before that gossip spread to England as well. Possibly even India.
Ma put her hand on Clara’s knee. ‘So what do you think you might do in the long term, darling?’
Clara sighed. ‘I needed time to think. That’s why those months with Dominque in France were so good. I’ll stay here for a while, if you’ll have me. Then go back to England, I suppose. Enrol at uni.’ She looked around the kitchen. Through the window they could see Dingo lolling in the shade of the maple tree with a couple of chickens pecking in the dirt nearby. ‘I do love it here,’ Clara said.
Ma smiled at her. ‘Of course you can stay here, darling. As long as you like.’
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