Because she sees me. Not Tracker. Not the outlaw biker I had to be to survive. Not one of her father’s men.
Kerri sees me.
And it scares the shit out of me.
She sits silent on the couch as my stomach ties itself in knots. Today she saw one side of me. The side of me that could have been so much more if only things were different. But she needs to see this side of me too. I won’t let her pretend it’s not there. I can’t.
Because it will always be a part of me, no matter what else happens in my life I will always be the little boy no one wanted. The little boy who went hungry for days. The little boy who didn’t have shoes that fit until I was a grown man.
When Kerri’s eyes meet mine my heart stops.
She blinks quickly, shoving back the shimmer of tears edging her lids. “Evan, you’re beautiful.”
I’ve been called many things in my life by women. Hot. Sexy. Asshole.
Never beautiful.
Not until her.
I shouldn’t touch her when I feel like this. Raw. Vulnerable. Exposed.
It will make me think this is more than it is. Maybe I already do.
“Come here.”
Kerri stands slowly. Her feet don’t make a sound as she moves across the floor toward me. Her hands reach me before she does, gently brushing across the kaleidoscope of my past, skating over my skin with a feathery soft touch the images etched in pain don’t deserve. A gentleness that belies the anger that created them. Then she steps closer.
Now it’s her lips that trace the map of my past, moving slow across my shoulder, kissing down my arm and over my chest, brushing across my hip as she drops to her knees in front of me. I know what she’s thinking and any other time I’d be thinking the same thing. Just not now.
I lean down and scoop her up. She’s easy to hold and will be hard to let go, harder after today.
Maybe even impossible.
I carry her down the hall to her room. I lay her across the bed and ease over her, letting my body rest against hers as I cover her mouth with mine. I love how she tastes. Warm and sweet. Like her.
I lick inside her mouth, rubbing my tongue against hers. I leave her lips to kiss across her cheek and along her jaw. I breathe in her scent, letting the fresh smell of spring burn into my memory. It reminds me of sunshine and new beginnings. Maybe that’s what this is for me.
A new beginning.
But that would mean I had a beginning to start with.
“Evan I—” She works her legs under my body until they clear my hips. Then she curls them at my sides.
My dick rests tight against her. Right where I want to be. Where I will be.
I push up her shirt, bunching the soft fabric under her arms until her full breasts are displayed to me. I lean up on one elbow and take in the beauty of the perfect view that is mine alone. I cup my hand around the soft curve of one and push it up to meet my lips. Her nipple is hard before I even touch it, puckering under my tongue and tightening even more as I suck it deep into my mouth.
Kerri’s hands fist in my hair as she writhes under me. I take my time enjoying the most perfect body I’ve ever seen, let alone touched. I love how it feels under mine. Soft. Welcoming. Feminine.
I love the gentle curve of her stomach and the fullness of her hips and I show her. With my hands. With my mouth.
I want to taste her again. Feel the swell of her clit as I eat her until she screams. But that will have to wait.
Because this time I want her to come on me.
With me.
I lean up and drag her shorts down her long, strong legs, letting my hands rake over the contour of her thighs. I don’t dare touch her anywhere else. Not until I get what I want from her.
What I need.
Then I remember. What I need is in my pants.
By the front door.
A perfect moment stalled. Shit.
I lean down and kiss her again, hoping it will be enough to smooth over the awkward moment I’m about to create. I hover over her. “I’ll be right back.”
Kerri reaches her hand behind her head, under the pillow she sleeps on. She pulls out a square foil pack and holds it in the air between us. “Do you still have to go?”
I pluck it from her fingers. “No. No I don’t.” I pull her shirt the rest of the way off. I want to feel all of her under all of me. It takes longer than it should to tear open the wrapper and roll the condom on. My hands are shaking like it’s my first time.
It is.
The first time I’ve been with anyone I cared about. The first time sex was more than a way to get off and to feel like I was wanted by someone, even if it was only for one thing.
This is different for more reasons than I can count.
I look down at Kerri as I ease between her thighs. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
I have to give her an out because I don’t know that I am strong enough to give her one after this.
She reaches up and cups my face with both hands. “I’m more than sure.”
I don’t wait. I can’t. Not one second longer to have her. I watch her face as I push inside the heat of her body. I groan as her walls tighten around me, sucking me deeper into her pussy. Her head falls back and her eyes shut as my body fills hers, sinking in until there is no more of me to give.
“Oh my God.” Her lips barely move as the whisper slips through them. “Evan.”
Any control I believe I have over the situation evaporates when she says my name. I lace my fingers through her hair as I start to move, impaling her body with mine, holding her tight. I need to know she’s real. That this is happening.
To me.
I lift my eyes to the mirrors on her closet and watch us. Watch her fingers digging into my skin, marking me, digging new lines beside the old. Changing the landscape of my life with a swipe of her hand. Her legs lock around my waist, holding me as tightly as I hold her.
“Evan I—” I know it’s all the warning I’m going to get. Luckily it’s all I need.
“Come for me.” I tuck my head against her neck, breathing her in as I fill her with long, strong strokes. I feel my dick twitch inside her, ready. I dig deep and hold on a little longer, waiting for what I have to have. My vision narrows and any other thoughts scatter as I try to focus on making sure I come with her.
“Oh God.” Her thighs clench against my waist as her pussy starts to spasm around my cock.
“Kerri, please.” My cock swells and my balls pull up tight as I come, shuddering as her walls milk the pleasure from my body with her own.
I fight to catch my breath as I collapse onto her. It’s only a few seconds before I realize I’m probably suffocating her. She holds me tight as I start to roll off her.
“Stay here just a minute longer.” Her hands trail up my back, smoothing over the scratches I know I will hate to see fade.
I lean up just enough to brush my lips over hers. “I’ll stay as long as you want.”
She smiles. “I’ll remember you said that.”
10
I SIT UP straight in bed and reach beside me. I don’t know what dragged me out of the deepest sleep I’ve had in a long time but I know what’s keeping me from falling back into it.
My bed’s empty.
But my apartment’s not so that’s some consolation.
I can hear the low rumble of Evan’s voice in my living room and it pulls me from my bed to go find him. I creep across the floor and stand in the doorway, holding my breath so I can hear what he says.
“If you come near King’s daughter you will have worse things to worry about than her daddy coming after you.” Evan’s voice is a lethal sounding hiss. “He won’t get the chance.”
I press one hand to my mouth and the other to my rolling stomach as he keeps talking to whoever is on the other end of his phone.
“I will hurt you in ways you can’t imagine.” The ice in his tone carries through the apartment and runs down my spine.
It’s not Ev
an on the phone. It’s Tracker.
The apartment goes silent. I peek around the wall.
He’s standing in the middle of my living room. His back is to me and I can see the tension across his shoulders, even in the dim light filtering through the blinds.
He turns abruptly and I don’t have time to retreat if I wanted to.
“How long have you been awake?” His words are cautious, hesitant.
“Long enough to know there’s a problem.” I swallow down the panic rising in my throat and force myself to stay calm. “What did they say?”
Tracker shakes his head. “Nothing.”
“I need to know what’s going on.” I walk toward him. “Please don’t keep me in the dark thinking you’re protecting me from something I already know.” I rest my forehead against the warm skin of his chest. “I lived in that world until I was eighteen. I know what goes on.”
Evan’s arms wrap around my back. “I’m not sure you know as much as you think you do, Kerri.”
His phone starts to ring. The glow of the screen illuminates the space around us. His whole body goes rigid when he looks at the screen. Tracker sucks a breath in through his nose and swipes his thumb across the screen connecting the call. “Yeah.”
“Yeah?” The silence of night and the closeness of our bodies makes it easy for me to hear the other end of the conversation. The voice on the line is familiar in a way that pushes bile up my throat.
I know that voice. I know that tone. I know what it means. I grab for the phone.
Tracker steps away, taking it with him, preventing me from dong for him what I never did for myself.
“I believe you meant to say yes sir.”
I’m suddenly cold even though fire creeps along my veins. I shiver but I don’t know if it’s old fear or new rage that’s pumping through me like hot ice. Then Tracker answers him.
“Yes sir.”
It’s rage.
I want to kill my father. For the way he treated me. For the way he treated my mother. For the way he’s treating Evan now.
For everything he stole from me. My childhood. My mom. My life. I had to leave it all behind. It belonged to him.
I’ll be damned if Evan does too.
I grab for the phone again. Tracker side steps me and gives me a look of warning. He shakes his head at me and holds one finger against his lips. But none of that is what stops me. It’s the look in his eyes.
Trust me.
I drop my hands to my sides. The fight inside me isn’t gone but I will save it. Tuck it away until one day I have my chance. The chance I couldn’t take as a child. The chance I still didn’t take as an adult. But one day I will.
Tracker moves across the room, stealing the sound of my father’s words in his ear. Suddenly he straightens, his body tight. “You did.” His eyes flick to me for a split second then move away. “What did they say?”
I can’t hear what’s being said on the other side of the line leaving me to guess why my father would call in the middle of the night. And I’m a pretty good guesser.
King got a phone call too.
“I will keep that in mind.” Tracker flinches almost imperceptibly as he pulls the phone from his ear and hangs up the call. “Fuck.” His head falls back to the ceiling. He blows out a long breath then reaches for me, pulling me tight against his chest. So tight it almost hurts. And I like it.
I wrap my arms around him and close my eyes, focusing on the slow, steady beat of his heart under my ear. “Please tell me what’s happening.”
He rests one cheek against the top of my head. “I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“Both.” Evan reaches up to cup my face with both hands. He tips my head back. His eyes are intense as they search mine. “All I want is to keep you safe and I will do whatever it takes to make that happen.”
“Including keeping things from me?”
He doesn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
I tense up at his admission. The confirmation doesn’t sit well. I know what can happen when a woman lets someone else make decisions for her. I’ve seen it first hand and I won’t be that woman. Not for anyone.
His hands press into my face. “Don’t be upset.”
“I will do whatever I want.” I pull my face free of his hold and back away. “I thought you understood.”
“I do.” Tracker stays put. “I understand more than you think and I know it’s hard but I need you to trust me right now. Trust that I will keep you safe and when it’s all over I will tell you everything I know.” His lips quirk up at the sides. “And then you can boss me around all you want.”
I cross my arms over my chest and stare at him. He’s not mad. He didn’t yell. He didn’t raise a hand to me, thank God, because I didn’t take self-defense classes for nothing. He’s actually just standing there almost smiling at me.
“All I want?”
Now he’s definitely smiling. “All you want.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “You’ll do whatever I say?”
“Anything.”
I run my tongue over my teeth as I consider it. I don’t like not knowing what’s happening but...
I kind of sort of trust him. A little.
“Okay.” It isn’t quite as painfully terrifying as I expected to give him this. It’s awful feeling, but on another level it’s also a little freeing to let go of a small bit of the untrusting part of me created by my past.
His shoulders drop the smallest bit. “Thank you.”
I point at him. “Don’t get used to it.”
Because I won’t. I can’t. I won’t be my mother and if I think for a second that’s where this is headed Tracker will be out on his ass.
“I wouldn’t think of it.” He holds one hand out to me. “Come here.”
I shake my head. “You come here.”
“And so it begins.” He flashes me a grin then out of nowhere he rushes me, bending at the waist and resting his shoulder on my middle before standing up, taking my flailing body with him. “You are a hellion, Kerosene Danger. I love it.”
****
“I DON’T LIKE that guy.” I stare through the front window of my apartment at the giant of a man standing next to Butch’s lemon yellow sports car.
Tracker looks at me. He tips his head down and lowers his voice. “Why?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
“I need more than an I don’t know.” Tracker looks out at the man with Butch and then back at me. “Can you give me any specific reason?”
‘Because he looks scary’ probably doesn’t count as more than I don’t know. I glance at the man beside me. Plus I would guess Tracker might be a notch higher on the scaryometer to some people. The man outside my apartment doesn’t have a single tattoo that I can see but I know he has to at least have one. The Knight’s club mark is somewhere on his body.
He’s tall. Like, really tall. Crazy tall. And wide. Like a bus. Other than that I’ve got no reason other than a sixth sense to explain why he makes me feel...
Cautious.
I shake my head. “Just a feeling.”
Tracker nods. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
I slide my eyes Tracker’s way and study him. His statement didn’t sound condescending or even a little sarcastic. Like he was really going to take my odd feeling into account.
“You still have to deal with him.” Tracker grabs my keys and opens the door. “Your father thinks you need another set of eyes on you and Hawk’s are the ones he picked.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Hawk?”
Tracker shrugs. “I didn’t pick it.”
I look out at the man who looks more like a Tank or maybe a tongue-in-cheek Tiny. “Who did?”
“Your dad. He chooses all the road names.” Tracker holds his hand out for me to head outside.
My dad picks the names? That’s not how it used to work. I remember the men who hung around my house as a kid. There was no story they loved to tell more than the one abou
t how they got their road names. “That’s strange.”
Tracker looked at me, his brow lined in confusion. “Why do you say that?”
“What in the hell is going on out here today?” Violet steps outside her door and glares at me and my rapidly growing entourage. “You are the loudest group of boys I’ve ever met in my damn life.”
I stop and stare at her. I’ve never seen my neighbor in anything other than a housecoat, so the sight of her in a floral polyester pants suit throws me off. “Are you going somewhere, Violet?”
Her head turns my way. Finally her eyes join it. “What? Oh.” She looks down at the button-up jacket, smoothing her bony hand down the front. “Well. You never know.” She winks at Evan. “Maybe I’ll steal one of your men and make him take me to dinner.” She looks from Butch to Hawk to Tracker. “You’ve got more than your share.”
I let out a long sigh. “Don’t I know it.” I walk toward my car. Evan rests one hand on the small of my back and leans in close.
“Butch is taking you to work today.” He glances at Hawk. “I’m going to hang back here with Hawk and keep an eye on things.”
I look at Butch then back at Tracker. “I don’t want to do that.”
He leans down and presses a chaste kiss against my lips. “I need you to.” He pulls me against his chest and tucks his head into my neck so no one will hear what he says. “Remember you will get to be the boss as soon as this is all over.” He sucks my earlobe between his teeth. “Not in the bedroom though.”
I shake my head. “You already made the deal. No amending it now.” I push at him, wriggling free of his hold. I stand in front of the Tweety Bird toned car that’s been sitting in front of my apartment like a giant arrow for the past week. Hell it’s no wonder they found me. I point at Butch then motion to the car. “Come on then.”
Tracker opens my door as Butch climbs in the driver’s side. Evan leans in and gives me another kiss. I expect him to tell me to be careful. He doesn’t.
“Be nice.”
I smile at him. “I’m always nice.”
“Shit.” He looks across the car at Butch. “Don’t let her scare you.”
His friend starts the car and the engine revs to life. “Too late.” Butch gives me a wink.
Tracking Numbers: A Bad Boy Protector Romance (Lost Boys Book 1) Page 8