I chuckle. ‘Not you, that’s for sure.’
Daniel smiles back at me, the candlelight making his eyes shine.
‘I can be very boring at times,’ he concedes but I shake my head, firmly.
‘No, not at all. While I doubt I’ll ever be inspired to dig, it is fascinating not least because they were so clever. Plumbing, drainage, Roman baths, mosaic floors, road building … you have to applaud their skills.’
‘It’s unusual to be able to talk work to anyone outside of the university. You’re a surprise, Leah, but then you were from the moment I met you.’
I think back to that morning less than three weeks ago. It feels like Daniel has been in my thoughts for a lifetime. And yet, on the other hand, it also feels like it all happened only yesterday.
‘I was surprised that day I first saw you; I expected someone much older. Dr Daniel Preston has a very mature ring to it.’
My words are met with a smile and a tilt of an eyebrow.
‘I’m thirty-five. I’m supposed to be in the prime of my life but it doesn’t feel like that.’ He gives a very dismissive laugh which sounds jaded and tired. Is he referring to his health problems, I wonder?
‘Life has a habit of throwing a curve ball when you least expect it. Look at me, thirty-one and in need of a counsellor to sort myself out. It’s not something I’m proud of because it makes me feel lacking in some way.’ I’m trying to make it easier for him by demonstrating that everyone has problems. The clock is ticking and he’s running out of time to convince me he can honour a commitment to total honesty between us.
His eyes search my face. ‘Why now? I mean, why wait so long?’
I look away, a sigh seeming to empty my lungs of all air for a second or two before I can inhale once more. ‘Because I’m scared of moving on and what that means, but I know it’s time. Letting someone into my life – our lives – means everything will change. Jackie says that the familiar has become like a prison for me, inside of which I feel safe. That’s a horrible analogy and I think she knew how I’d react. I’m the only one holding me back now. It’s time to move on but that means taking a brave step forward and embracing a life where nothing is guaranteed.’
‘But was there are particular catalyst that made you reach out to a counsellor after all this time?’ he presses gently.
‘A promise I made to someone. We were on the same cruise and struck up a friendship. You know how we all tend to be drawn towards like-minded people? Well, Harrison and I connected because we were both travelling alone and in need of a listening ear. When everyone else around you is having fun and really all you want is a little break away from your daily worries, I think we rather stood out from the crowd.’
I see his brows knit together in concern and then one eyebrow raises slightly.
‘And you’re sure he’s just a friend?’
‘Yes. He’s divorced and his parents probably thought at some point he’d find another woman to settle down with. He has found his soul mate but tonight is the night he introduces Oliver to his parents for the first time. Even in this day and age it’s about expectations that we feel are placed upon us. He had no idea how his family were going to react to the news and very few people knew his secret. I understood how he felt.
‘A lot of people know my husband isn’t around anymore, but only my parents and my best friend knew what Kelly did, until I told Harrison and you. People lie or omit things because it’s easier and less painful than telling the truth. I told Harrison he had to do the deed sooner rather than later or he’d lose Ollie. In return he told me I needed to talk to a professional or I’d never learn to trust anyone again. I’m glad he did.’
Daniel’s frown begins to melt away as he visibly relaxes his shoulders. He thought I was going to say there was another man in my life and seeing his relief sends a flutter through me.
‘I’m glad, too. You should be proud you finally took that step.’
A small smile begins to make my lips twitch.
‘I wish I’d done it before now. I didn’t know I was going to meet someone so … interesting, so soon.’
He laughs. ‘Phew! I thought for one moment there—’ He breaks off suddenly, looking rather embarrassed.
‘The only person standing in the way of us now is me, isn’t it?’ he declares quietly.
I stare directly at him. ‘Yes.’
‘The words are in my head but they’re not quite in the right order yet. I’m working on it.’
I take a sip from my wine glass, peering at him over the top of it, my eyes smiling playfully. The chemistry between us is both tantalizing and scary at the same time.
We’ve finished eating our main course and they clear the table. Daniel reads aloud the dessert menu and we decide that crushed mille-feuille with vanilla cream, ice cream and passion fruit liqueur sounds like a good idea.
With traditional Greek music playing softly in the background we end the evening sitting with our hands touching across the table. Daniel was right; this was an experience I would not have wanted to miss. I will always remember and treasure this memory. I feel I’ve been plucked out from my own little world and deposited somewhere else; a new and exciting opportunity to dream of a fresh start. A place where anything is possible, even if it is just for one night.
The darkness is now so encompassing that when we make our way to the funicular I don’t feel at all anxious. I negotiate the steps on firm legs, happy to be able to lean against Daniel and know he’s there for me. For no reason other than it makes me feel good. But only for tonight because tomorrow I go home and back to my real life. I still have no idea whether Daniel will end up disappointing me. But the sparks are like fireworks going off in all directions at once and they’re too spectacular to ignore.
How Do You End Such a Perfect Night?
It’s almost midnight by the time the taxi drops us back at the villa. It feels late but it’s obvious we’re both loath to bring the night to a close.
‘How about a glass of wine by the pool?’ Daniel suggests, as he closes the door behind us.
‘Perfect. It’s a big place when you’re on your own here, isn’t it?’
As he turns on the lights and we cross the hallway, our footsteps have a hollow ring to them.
‘It’s rarely this quiet. The team of additional volunteers from the university who are coming out for the holidays will be the last bunch to stay here. Thanos and his family have been very generous and aside from allowing us to have this place at a very reasonable rate, they are great benefactors. A dig is a very costly and time-consuming thing. This particular project is privately funded and there are many smaller sponsors involved, the Fotopoules family being only one of them.’
Daniel talks as he grabs glasses and a bottle of wine. We head outside and he stops to turn on the garden lighting.
The pool looks so inviting as we wander down to the edge. I slip off my shoes and take the glasses and bottle from Daniel, waiting while he rolls up the legs of his jeans. It seems a shame not to change into our swimsuits but he doesn’t suggest that and I guess it is a little late for a dip.
We settle ourselves down, letting our feet dangle in the deliciously warm water.
Around us the night is full of little sounds reminding us that an army of insects and animals continue their nighttime pursuits.
‘Is that constant background sound the grasshoppers chirping? Or is it another sort of insect?’
Daniel passes me a glass and shifts alongside me, closing the gap between us.
‘It’s usually cicadas – they rub their forewings against their hind legs. They aren’t as large as the grasshoppers but they sure do make a lot of noise.’
The air is still warm, pleasantly so, and the scent carried on the gentle breeze seems to be a mix of different perfumes.
‘I can smell jasmine but there’s something else heavy in the air tonight. Can you smell it, too?’
Daniel tips his head back, taking a deep breath and looking up at t
he sky as he concentrates.
‘Ah, that’s the yellow margaritas. They grow like weeds down on the lower level and extend over the cliff edge. It’s more noticeable at night and when the breeze is coming off the sea.’
The water in the pool shimmers, the garden lights bouncing off it and fragmenting as we move our feet gently back and forth.
‘This doesn’t feel real, does it?’ I reflect, thinking out loud.
Daniel’s foot comes to rest alongside my own.
‘You’re real,’ he confirms, letting his foot linger for a few seconds before drawing it away.
‘After I fly home to York it’s going to take a while to sort myself out again and I wish that wasn’t the case. Adjusting to the new routine when I’m back at work and beginning a regular relationship with Bella all over again won’t leave much time for other things.’
Even as he’s talking his hand comes to rest over mine, curled around the edge of the pool. If this is it, his big exposé, then he’s misjudged me and I’m not falling for it. Time to call his bluff.
‘Maybe all we were ever meant to share was the short time we’ve had together. Perhaps neither of us will ever be ready.’
‘Are you saying right place, wrong time? Do you really believe that or are you angry because I’m not quite—’ He sounds horrified, but I don’t turn to look at him.
‘Perhaps we fell under the spell of Athens and that air of invincibility it seems to have hovering over it. Like the Greek gods are still in control, looking down upon us and steering what happens, so for a brief moment we believe anything is possible when that isn’t the case, at all.’
‘And what would you say to those Greek gods, Leah?’
This time I turn to face him as I speak.
‘That I’m just a woman looking for the love of a good and honest man.’
He lets out a long, slow breath but it isn’t a sigh.
‘And you deserve to be loved by someone who can be everything for you and Rosie. I don’t know if I have what it takes to fill that role because of the life I lead. The distance between us geographically in the UK is the least of the problems, in a way.’
A dull sensation akin to pain seems to settle in my chest. Is this his designated moment to clear the air and despite my repeated warnings he’s failed us both? We sit in silence for a while before reluctantly glancing at each other to signal that it’s time to make a move.
Heading back inside, Daniel turns off the lights and we end up outside the door to the master suite. Standing here looking at each other, neither of us is sure about what to say next. The seconds pass and Daniel draws close, looking down into my eyes.
‘Thank you for a wonderful day. One I’ll treasure forever,’ he whispers as I look up at him and my heart sinks. Is that it?
He lowers his face towards mine, kissing me softly on the lips before drawing away. I watch as he turns and crosses the landing without looking back.
I open the door and go inside my room, reluctantly shutting it behind me. But even as I’m taking off my make-up and getting ready for bed, I can’t settle. It’s not long before my feet are padding across the tiled landing and I knock softly on Daniel’s door, before twisting the handle to open it. I didn’t fly all this way to give up so easily.
Inside it’s dark, only the soft glow from the moon outside giving the tiniest glow to break the darkness. I stand there in my over-sized T-shirt, shifting from foot to foot.
‘I don’t want to be alone tonight even though you’ve disappointed me more than you can ever know.’ A slight shiver courses up through my body as I await his response.
I see Daniel’s form as he sits upright, holding out his arms to me.
‘I’m glad you’re here. It was so hard to walk away from you, Leah. I did try but the right words didn’t come.’
Climbing onto the bed he pulls me down to snuggle up against him.
‘I just need to be held for a while.’ My voice is so low it’s hardly audible, as I fight back tears which reflect the emotional turmoil I’m feeling. How many chances can you give someone before you give up on them?
Lying here wrapped in Daniel’s arms in the velvet darkness, it feels so right and I want him to know that. I begin slowly by trailing my hand up and down his arm and he shifts position, turning into me. My hand snakes up and over his top and suddenly, after a few frantic moments of tugging and yanking, we’re both naked. Nothing else matters anymore except for the fire that is consuming us as we explore each other, driven by a desire that blots everything else out. Every little touch thrills me to the core and feeling Daniel’s urgent response it’s obvious our bodies are in tune, even if our minds are not.
I gently push him back onto the bed and slide one leg over his, easing myself up into a sitting position. His hands wind around me and slide down over my curves, his grasp tightening and his breathing heavy. As I look down at him in the moonlight I can see the scar quite clearly and my heart misses a beat. Then two.
‘Daniel … please tell me what happened.’ My fingers lightly dance over his chest and follow the imprint of the rope-like scar which tracks down his torso. Suddenly the fire in my veins turns to ice and I realise I’m holding my breath.
His hands suddenly fall away and reluctantly I slide into a lying position so I can drape my arms around his shoulders. ‘Clearly you’ve been through a terrible experience and psychologically it’s still very traumatic to face up to. I get that, really I do. But you can trust me, I promise.’
He clears his throat then rolls towards me but his face is half in shadow. I can only see a little glint from the moonlight catching his eyes.
‘If I admit my fears to you then it makes them real. If they remain unsaid then—’
‘Then they aren’t any less real, Daniel, but maybe together we can face up to them. Find a way to live with it and the consequences.’ He can hear the sincerity in my voice as compassion takes over and suddenly this isn’t about him telling lies or holding back. It’s about looking into the face of raw fear.
‘Those weren’t vitamin supplements you were taking before, were they? I thought it was a bit strange on the first day here with the girls when you didn’t get into the pool and kept your T-shirt on. And tonight, when the water looked so inviting … you still couldn’t bear to let me see your scar.’
I can’t keep the note of disappointment out of my voice.
‘God, that tears me up hearing that tone in your voice, Leah. Please just listen to me as I want you to understand why I didn’t tell you.’ He pauses, assembling his thoughts. The seconds tick by.
‘Sometimes, still, I find it hard to believe what happened. And yet the memories never leave me. I contracted a simple flu-like virus. Lots of people had it and were fine. I wasn’t. I got sicker and sicker, until eventually I was rushed into hospital with a very high fever. I had developed pneumonia and was put on a strong course of antibiotics. It wasn’t long before it was clear something else was wrong and a severe reaction to the drugs sent my immune system into overdrive.’
I raise myself up onto my elbow so I can see Daniel’s face more clearly. He’s wearing a pained expression and avoiding my gaze. I discreetly swipe away with the back of my hand a tear that has spilt down over my right cheek, hoping he hasn’t noticed. His anguish is almost tangible.
‘It was a tough couple of days but the resulting damage to the heart muscle was irreversible. I knew it was serious but it wasn’t until I was informed that I was going to be assessed for the heart transplant list that I realised my life was in imminent danger.’
I place my hand gently over the centre of Daniel’s chest, desperate to feel the reassuring pound of his heartbeat. He’s well now; he’s fit and strong, that’s all that matters, I tell myself.
‘I have the heart of a nineteen-year-old man who died when his motorbike crashed into a car. You don’t get to meet the donor’s family but we exchanged letters through a third party. They said they wept when they heard that the person receiving the
ir son’s heart had a daughter and that even in death his life had purpose.’
I can’t hide my tears any longer and Daniel hauls himself upright to draw me into his arms. We sit holding each other for a long while.
‘Tricia must have been frantic with worry and I can understand why you chose not to tell Bella.’ I can’t quite keep an even keel to my voice and it wavers a little.
‘It all happened about three months after Tricia and I split up. She was involved but it was difficult and I made her promise she wouldn’t tell Bella. It was the transition period for us anyway and Bella simply assumed I was busy sorting out the new house. I rang her as often as I could, well, on my good days. That’s why I always keep covered up because I don’t intend to have that conversation until I feel she’s ready and it won’t send her into a panic about my health.’
It’s so hard to process this information but the fact that Bella doesn’t know seems wrong. But then isn’t Daniel merely trying to protect her? Maybe I’d do the exact same thing for Rosie and he’s right, but at any age it would be a worrying revelation.
‘It’s rather shocking, isn’t it? It’s taken a while to get the meds right but the regime I’ve been on for the last fourteen months is working well. I only need regular echocardiograms, which I have done at a local hospital. In the first year after surgery I had several biopsies to check for any signs of rejection but aside from adjusting the mountain of pills I take, it was all good. This year again, I passed all the tests with flying colours. But there are no guarantees.’
‘I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through, Daniel.’ There’s a question burning on my lips but I don’t think it’s one I can voice. As if he’s reading my mind Daniel answers it for me.
‘You’re wondering what the prognosis is for the long-term. My consultant tells me it’s good, as long as I get my check-ups and keep taking the tablets. It’s a case of everything in moderation and leading as healthy a lifestyle as I possibly can. The majority of the problems occur at the beginning, shortly after surgery and I sailed through that phase. But every infection and virus I catch poses a real threat.’
A Greek Affair Page 23