by Jeff Inlo
Chapter 8
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going off to Pinesway?”
Linda’s question was loaded with danger and Ryson saw no way to avoid any of it.
“It didn’t seem like a good idea at the time,” Ryson offered.
“Letting me know where you’re going is not a good idea?”
“That’s not what I meant. You knew I was out on a scout, and I was continuing that scout, I was just doing it near Pinesway.”
“No,” Linda said flatly. “You WERE on a scout with Enin. That’s where I thought you were, with Enin. You came back because you found out something was going on over there in Pinesway. You left without Enin, on your own, to deal with that. There’s a big difference, and you know it, so let’s try this again. Why didn’t you tell me you were going off to Pinesway?”
Ryson tried not to give up so easily on his first excuse. “It’s like I said. You knew I was out on a scout, so you didn’t expect me home until today. Even though I was near Pinesway, it really did start out as a scout of the town.”
“Look, if you keep this up you’re just going to make it worse.” Linda’s face became flushed as her anger rose. “You’re playing with words here to try and avoid the issue. If you want to play this game, I can play this game as well. Yes, I know you were on a scout with Enin, but did you return to town yesterday or not?”
“I did, I never said I didn’t, but…”
“Did you leave again?”
“Yes, to scout…”
“I didn’t ask you what you were doing. I just asked if you came here and left. When you left, did you leave with Enin?”
“No, he said he shouldn’t get involved.”
Linda was about to continue, but then realized what Ryson just said and seized upon it.
“Involved? Involved in what?”
“I told you. Sazar tried to take over Pinesway. He wanted to use it as a base for goblins.”
“So now you admit it wasn’t just a scout. You went out, without Enin, to stop Sazar.”
Ryson held his breath for a moment as he realized his mistake too late. He did his best to cover it. “Well, I didn’t know what he was up to until I held the sword. I told you that, too. It started out as a scout. It really did.”
“Godson, Ryson! You’re doing it again. You’re playing with words and trying to avoid admitting what you did. Fine, it started out as a scout, but it wasn’t an ordinary scout with Enin out in Dark Spruce. And that’s where I thought you were. But you came back from Dark Spruce because you found out something was going on with Sazar. You were scouting Pinesway with every intention of interfering with Sazar and his goblins. That was the plan from the beginning, even before you held the sword. Right?”
At first Ryson did not wish to answer.
Linda pressed him.
“Right?!”
“Yes, but…”
“But nothing! You can’t even tell me you didn’t have a chance to let me know because you came back here in between your trip to Dark Spruce and before you set off again. You were right here yesterday afternoon. And don’t tell me you didn’t have time, because we both know that’s ridiculous. And even if it wasn’t absurd, you could have told Sy to send me word. Speaking of Sy, did you know I went to speak with him last night?”
The delver wanted to groan but he held his breath. “Yes, he told me when I saw him this morning.”
“Did he tell you I asked him if he knew where you were?”
“Yeah, he said he didn’t say much, tried to be as hazy about it as possible. He said you didn’t look happy.”
“I’m not happy. Not happy when I talked to Sy, and I’m certainly not happy now,” Linda stated firmly. “I asked Sy if he knew where you were. All he said was that you were on a scout. I could tell he was trying to avoid the subject. I guessed you told him not to tell me, otherwise he would have told me straight out. Am I right?”
Ryson saw the hole just keep getting deeper. There really was no way out, so he just came clean. “You’re right. I told him not to tell you where I went.”
Linda wanted to scream. “Do you know how utterly stupid that is?! For Godson’s sake, Ry, I work in a tavern. That means on some days I know more about what’s going on in this town than you and Sy put together. I heard that Enin flew over to Sy’s office yesterday afternoon. If Enin came back, that meant you probably came back as well. With a few nudging questions to a few guards, I found out you ran into town in a hurry yesterday afternoon and left again fairly soon after that in another great hurry. I also found out no one saw Enin leave with you. Now I find out you actually told Sy to hide the truth from me.”
“I wasn’t hiding the truth from you. I was trying to keep you from worrying.”
“So that’s what this is all about, huh? You think if you don’t tell me exactly where you are that somehow I won’t worry?”
“Well, if you know I’m heading into some place dangerous, you’re definitely going to worry.”
“Of course I’m going to worry!” Linda shouted with exasperation. “And if I find out where you went and realize you didn’t tell me, then not only am I going to worry, I’m going to be angry about it as well! You know, this is really ridiculous.”
The delver bit his lip realizing anything he could say at this precise moment would probably only make things worse. It was a wise decision not to speak at all.
Linda, however, had plenty to say.
“Ryson, don’t you think I know what this is all about? I know you weren’t trying to keep secrets from me, that you thought you were actually helping me by not telling me, but we’ve gone through this before. I don’t want you saving me from my own concern about you.”
Ryson attempted to swing that point to his favor. “Don’t you think there’s a difference between concern and outright worry? I mean don’t you think you would have viewed this differently?”
“Absolutely,” Linda responded quickly, “and if something happened to you and I found out your last thought of me was not to trust me enough to tell me where you were going, how would that have made me feel?”
“It’s not about trust,” Ryson replied with an edge of anger in his own voice.
Linda did not back down. “Yes, it is! You just don’t understand that yet. I see perfectly clear what your intentions were, you wanted to protect me, not lie to me. I understand that. What you don’t understand is that when you act like that, you’re showing me that you don’t trust me to understand what you are. You’re a delver. I have accepted what that means. You’re going to go out exploring; it’s what you have to do. You’ll do your best to tell me where you’re going, but we both know we can never be sure where you’re going to end up. That’s what happens to you. You tell me you’re going to scout the hills. Fine, but you and I both know that could last all of two heartbeats. Suddenly, you catch some strange scent or the trail of something you’ve never seen before. The next thing you know, you’re out in the Lacobian Desert climbing a sandstone cliff looking at a razor crow’s nest. You don’t mean to put yourself in danger, but you also can’t stop being what you are. When I agreed to marry you, that was the biggest thing I had to face. I had to ask myself whether or not I could handle the fact that you would always be running off somewhere, most likely somewhere dangerous. If I believed I could handle that, which I did and still do, well then, I have to live up to it. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I guess,” Ryson said somewhat half-heartedly.
“No guesses, do you understand or not?”
“I understand, but somehow if I agree with you I feel like I’m admitting to doing something underhanded. That’s why I’m not happy about this. It’s not like I tried to hide something from you for my own benefit and it’s not like I lied to you. Somehow or other you have me feeling like I did.”
“I’ll say it again then. I understand you did what you did for me and not you, but that doesn’t make it right. Don’t ever keep information from me because you think I’m going to wo
rry. Of course I’m going to worry. I worry every time you walk out that door. You and I both know we can’t stop that from happening. You’re going to leave and I’m going to be concerned about you.”
“So where does that leave us?”
“Hopefully, it now leaves us with a new understanding. No matter how dangerous you think it is, I don’t want you to keep things from me. When you don’t have the opportunity to tell me what you’re up to, I don’t expect you to catch some pigeon and tie a note to its leg so you can send me word. When you do have the chance, though—like yesterday before you went into Pinesway—I want you to let me know where you’re going. You go on being a delver and do what you do. I’ll go on being a delver’s wife and I’ll do what I have to do. But in the end we deal with all these things together.”