XII.
Dinner with the Witch
Biddy meanwhile had waddled around the room slapping the boards withher broad bare feet as she prepared their dinner. She was evidentlytrying to put on style, for she turned out her toes excessively.She spoke several times about "the toime when she resoided with yermamma," then at length, "Whayer's the tablecloth, Granny?"
"Now, wud ye listen to thot, an' she knowin' that divil a clath hev wein the wurruld, an' glad enough to hev vittles on the table, letalone a clath," said Granny, oblivious of the wreck she was making ofBiddy's pride.
"Will ye hay tay or coffee, Yahn?" said Biddy.
"Tea," was Yan's choice.
"Faix, an' Oi'm glad ye said tay, fur Oi ain' seen a pick o' coffeesense Christmas, an' the tay Oi kin git in the woods, but thayer issomethin' Oi kin set afore ye that don't grow in the woods," and theold woman hobbled to a corner shelf, lifted down an old cigar box andfrom among matches, tobacco, feathers, tacks, pins, thread and dustshe picked six lumps of cube sugar, formerly white.
"Thayer, shure, an' Oi wuz kapin' this fur whin his riv'rence comes;wanst a year he's here, God bless him! but that's fower wakes ahid,an' dear knows fwhat may happen afore thin. Here, an' a heartywelcome," said she, dropping three of the lumps in Yan's tea. "We'llkape the rest fur yer second cup. Hev some crame?" and she pushed overa sticky-handled shaving-mug full of excellent cream. "Biddy, giveYahn some bread."
The loaf, evidently the only one, was cut up and two or three slicesforced into Yan's plate.
"Mebbe the butther is a little hoigh," exclaimed the hostess, notingthat Yan was sparing of it. "Howld on." She went again to the cornershelf and got down an old glass jar with scalloped edge and a flat tincover. It evidently contained jam. She lifted the cover and exclaimed:
"Well, Oi niver!" Then going to the door she fished out with herfingers a dead mouse and threw it out, remarking placidly, "Oi'vewondered whayer the little divil wuz. Oi ain't sane him this twowakes, an' me a-thinkin' it wuz Tom ate him. May Oi be furgiven theonjustice av it. Consarn them flies! That cover niver did fit." Andagain her finger was employed, this time to scrape off an incrustationof unhappy flies that had died, like Clarence, in their favouritebeverage.
"Thayer, Yan, now ate hearty, all av it, an' welcome. It does me goodto see ye ate--thayer's lots more whayer that come from," though itwas obvious that she had put her all upon the table.
Poor Yan was in trouble. He felt instinctively that the good old soulwas wrecking her week's resources in this lavish hospitality, but healso felt that she would be deeply hurt if he did not appear to enjoyeverything. The one possibly clean thing was the bread. He devotedhimself to that; it was of poorest quality; one or two hairs loopingin his teeth had been discouraging, but when he bit at a piece oflinen rag with a button on it he was fairly upset. He managed to hidethe rag, but could not conceal his sudden loss of appetite.
"Hev some more av this an' this," and in spite of himself hisplate was piled up with things for him to eat, including a lot ofbeautifully boiled potatoes, but unfortunately the hostess carriedthem from the pot on the stove in a corner of her ancient and somberapron, and served him with her skinny paw.
Yan's appetite was wholly gone now, to the grief of his kindentertainer, "Shure an' she'd fix him up something to stringthen him,"and Yan had hard work to beg off.
"Would ye like an aig," ventured Biddy.
"Why, yes! oh, yes, please," exclaimed Yan, with almost too muchenthusiasm. He thought, "Well, hens are pure-minded creatures, anyway.An egg's sure to be clean."
Biddy waddled away to the 'barrun' and soon reappeared with threeeggs.
"B'iled or fried?"
"Boiled," said Yan, aiming to keep to the safe side.
Biddy looked around for a pot.
"Shure, _that's_ b'ilin' now," said Granny, pointing to the greatmass of her undergarments seething in the boiler, and accordingly theeggs were dropped in there.
Yan fervently prayed that they might not break. As it was, two didcrack open, but he got the other one, and that was virtually hisdinner.
A Purple Blackbird came hopping in the door now.
"Will, now, thayer's Jack. Whayer hev ye been? I thought ye wuz gonefur good. Shure Oi saved him from a murtherin' gunner," she explained."(Bad scran to the baste! I belave he was an Or'ngeman.) But he's allright now an' comes an' goes like he owned the place. Now, Jack, yougit out av that wather pail," as the beautiful bird leaped into thehalf-filled drinking bucket and began to take a bath.
"Now luk at that," she shouted, "ye little rascal, come out o' thatoven," for now the Blackbird had taken advantage of the open door toscramble into the dark warm oven.
"Thayer he goes to warrum his futs. Oh, ye little rascal! Next thingye know some one'll slam the dooer, not knowin' a thing, and fire up,an' it's roastin' aloive ye'll be. Shure an' it's tempted Oi am towring yer purty neck to save yer loife," and she drove him out withthe harshest of words and the gentlest of hands.
Then Yan, with his arms full of labelled plants, set out for home.
"Good-boi, choild, come back agin and say me soon. Bring some morehairbs. Good-boi, an' bless ye. Oi hope it's no sin to say so, fur Oiknow yer a Prattison an' ye are all on yez goin' to hell, but yer afoine bhoy. Oi'm tumble sorry yer a Prattison."
When Yan got back to the Raftens' he found the dinner table set forone, though it was now three in the afternoon.
"Come and get your dinner," said Mrs. Raften in her quiet motherlyway. "I'll put on the steak. It will be ready in five minutes."
"But I've had my dinner with Granny de Neuville."
"Yes, I know!"
"Did she stir yer tea with one front claw an' put jam on yer breadwith the other?" asked Raften, rather coarsely.
"Did she b'ile her pet Blackbird fur yer soup?" said Sam.
Yan turned very red. Evidently all had a good idea of what he hadexperienced, but it jarred on him to hear their mockery of the goodold soul.
He replied warmly, "She was just as kind and nice as she could be."
"You had better have a steak now," said Mrs. Raften, in solicitousdoubt.
How tempting was the thought of that juicy brown steak! How his emptystomach did crave it! But the continued mockery had stirred him. Hewould stand up for the warm-hearted old woman who had ungrudginglygiven him the best she had--had given her all--to make a heartywelcome for a stranger. They should never know how gladly he wouldhave eaten now, and in loyalty to his recent hostess he added thefirst lie of his life:
"No, thank you very much, but really I am not in the least hungry. Ihad a fine dinner at Granny de Neuville's."
Then, defying the inner pangs of emptiness, he went about his eveningchores.
Two Little Savages Page 28