by Willa Okati
When Ford knelt up to undo Gavin’s belt, Gavin managed to catch him by the forearms and dig in tight enough to get Ford’s attention. He shook his head, shouting the questions as clearly as he could without making a sound. He couldn’t. Ford had stolen his voice away.
Ford’s grin looked slower, crooked but not cruel. Despite Gavin’s grasp on his arms, he still had the reach and agility of touch to slide Gavin’s belt out of its clasp and to draw down his zipper. To slip his hand inside.
Ford swallowed Gavin’s sharp cry with a kiss, fallen from above too quickly to be tracked. He kept his hand inside Gavin’s slacks, the roughness of his palm over Gavin’s aching cock not firm enough until Gavin tangled his fingers in Ford’s hair and pulled.
“Please,” Gavin heard himself whisper. “More. Please, I need more.”
“I’m trying to take it slow. Make it good. Like I said.”
“Then let me.” Gavin snugged his hands down the back of Ford’s slacks and kneaded Ford’s ass. The reward was worth the risk; Ford groaned and surged forward, maybe not on purpose, but the jolt sent him grinding into Gavin all the same.
Gavin’s vision swam. “Off,” he said, all pride cast to hell. He tugged at Ford’s slacks. “Get these off.”
Ford, that irritating man, kissed the tip of Gavin’s nose. “You first. Then me.”
Gavin did not want to wait. Couldn’t. He threw his arm over his eyes and tried to calm his breathing while Ford slid his slacks down his legs and over his feet, tickling them. Socks too, and at last Gavin was naked in front of this temporary Prince Charming. Hard, burningly so, his cock a heavy weight against the oblique muscle that arrowed from gut to groin.
Ford said nothing and stayed silent long enough to drive a spike of worry through Gavin. Didn’t he like what he saw? Gavin came out of hiding, arm over his head, and sought answers.
He met Ford’s eyes, and what he saw there -- God. Gavin couldn’t look at that. Far too much like love, what he saw. He made himself focus lower instead.
“You promised,” he said, his mouth too dry. “Now you.”
Ford bent and kissed Gavin’s knee. His knee of all the places. It almost didn’t matter, though, because then Ford stood and finally, finally took care of his own clothes. Jacket, tie, shirt -- all gone in a blink. He slid his slacks down his legs, giving Gavin only a glimpse of clinging dark cinnamon jockey shorts stretched to their limit over his cock, and then they were gone.
Oh God. Gavin stared. He’d figured Ford would be as big as the rest of him; he’d been right. He’d hoped, in the back of his head, that Ford would be as gorgeous as the rest of him; he’d been right about that too.
Even like this, straining for Gavin, he knew Ford would hold back until Gavin had looked his fill and the first shock, no matter how wanted, had passed. And he’d been right.
Gavin wasn’t sure if he almost wanted to love or hate Ford for that. Take. That’s your job. Don’t leave it up to me.
But Ford did, even though his cock looked almost painfully swollen and dark, and his balls were drawn up, so full, so heavy. His chest heaved, shining with sweat in the candlelight.
If it’s my choice, then I choose this, for tonight, as long as it lasts, Gavin thought. He lay back down, let his legs fall apart so Ford could see as much of him as he could see of Ford, and stretched his arms out as far as he could to either side of the bed. I can’t make it any clearer.
No. He could. And this was what Ford waited for, wasn’t it? “I want you,” Gavin said, clearer than he could remember, the sound reverberating almost bell-like. “I need you.”
“And you’ll let me take care of you?” Ford lowered himself to the bed. Almost there, almost.
Gavin gave up the last of what he had to give. “Yes,” he breathed and surrendered himself wholly to Ford’s kiss, his body, the intensity of him that burned Gavin to cinders and shaped something -- something new…
* * *
Once Ford started -- threw himself into this -- he didn’t stop, and it couldn’t have come a moment too soon. He was everywhere as Gavin had thought he’d be, only… not. Different.
Not taking -- well, yes, taking, but giving back as much as he got. He seemed to forget his greater body mass but pushed both arms under Gavin to support him and keep him from being crushed. He kissed deeply and hungrily but didn’t stop until he’d driven Gavin as mad with the need for more as Gavin could tell he was.
Gavin couldn’t think. Couldn’t tell what was coming next. Only that he didn’t want this to end. If he could, if it were possible, he’d freeze this moment. This time that was too good for him, with Ford’s chest tight to his so that they had to breathe in counterpoint to one another. Gavin only just managed the reach it took to wrap his arms and legs around the bulk of Ford’s body to pull Ford in tighter, deeper, closer.
Gavin arched his back, a helpless moan slipping free when Ford’s cock slid next to his and brought them into firm contact. His hands were free. He fought one between them and tried to wrap it around both their cocks, to hold them together, but Ford was too large, and Gavin’s hands were small like the rest of him.
He didn’t know he’d said that out loud until Ford chuckled, a warm vibration pressed to his shoulder, rocked forward to drag their cocks together, and murmured, “Not everything’s small.”
Ford let go of Gavin just far enough, and though even Ford’s mighty muscles showed the strain of balancing on one arm, he got his hand between them and laced his fingers with Gavin’s, using both their hands to press their cocks together and stroke as hard as Gavin needed it.
God, oh God. Gavin thrashed his head on the pillow, helpless and wanting more. He could feel Ford’s cock dripping beads of slippery heat on his skin, and if he let go just long enough to reach… a little… lower…
Ford swore and ground his head to Gavin’s shoulder when Gavin cupped his balls, amazed at the size and firmness of them. “How long have you been --” he asked, stunned. A man didn’t build up a payload this heavy in just one night.
Ford’s laugh was strained. “More or less since I pulled you out of the elevator.”
Gavin surged up to kiss him. It wasn’t enough, he knew it wasn’t, but it was the best he could offer. That, and undulating as best as he could beneath Ford to show with his body what he couldn’t say aloud, even now. As he moved, he grew ever more frantic, needing more, almost wanting to climb inside Ford’s skin.
This wildness wasn’t like him. Hadn’t ever been, not even with Donny.
But Ford is not Donny.
Somewhere between touch and kiss, Ford’s hips began to roll forward. His cock thrust between their bellies, feeling too big to be measured, driving harder and faster. Too much and not enough. Gavin fought Ford back; it took all his strength to manage, but he won in the end when Ford let him.
Every other nerve in his body on sharp edge, he nodded at Ford. Now, please now.
Ford crushed him with one more kiss. And to Gavin’s dismay, a hint of rueful regret. “I didn’t bring anything with me,” he admitted, still playfully hiding his face against the side of Gavin’s neck. “I’d hoped. Every guy hopes. But I hadn’t planned on this. I thought it’d take longer to get you here, but you…” Again with the touch, the so-gentle, too-gentle brush of his hand to Gavin’s cheek that made Gavin want to scream.
“I’m clean, I swear,” Gavin said. “It’s been a couple of years.” That came out without a pause. Clear. Dizziness swept over him. “I have lube. In the drawer.”
Ford sagged in relief so intense, it cleared Gavin’s head. “Been a while for me too,” he said. “I’ve got test results somewhere.”
Gavin caught at Ford, arrested by a sudden alarm. “Don’t stop to go to back your place and get them!”
And there was Ford’s full-body laugh again, muffled only by his lack of breath. “God no. You trust me? That much?”
“This is my night.” Gavin kissed Ford before he could ask. Please don’t ask. He stretched his legs open farther still despite
the burn in his thigh muscles, drawing Ford as closely to him as he could. Good. “Lube. Hurry.”
* * *
Gavin dug his teeth into his lips and waited through the interminable seconds of listening to rustling and crinkling in the bedside drawer. Ford grunted in satisfaction not a second too soon and came back with the bottle.
Ford stroked the insides of Gavin’s thighs. “Hey, hey, it’s all right.” He’d mistaken the stretch of strained muscles for the shaking of nervousness. “I won’t hurt you.”
Gavin didn’t try to explain. After going for so long without sex, he knew it would hurt him, just as he knew Ford would try to keep that from happening.
He’d have to be the one guiding Ford this time.
True to Gavin’s thought, when Ford circled the tip of his lube-soaked finger around Gavin’s hole, he hissed in time with Gavin. “You’re too tight for me.”
“I’m not. It’s okay,” Gavin said, not letting go, not now. “Don’t stop.”
“Gavin…” Ford pushed Gavin’s hand around his cock, making sure he felt the length and girth. “It’s not ego talking here. I said I wouldn’t hurt you, and I meant it.”
“You. Won’t.” Gavin punctuated the stubborn promise with a bite here and a nip there. He squeezed Ford’s legs with his thighs. “Please, just start fucking me before I come.”
“You’re that close?”
Gavin’s laugh sounded broken even to him. “Yes.”
“Oh,” he thought he heard Ford say, quiet as a church mouse. “Okay. Gavin. Breathe for me. Just breathe.”
Gavin remembered how to do this, but it was so strange how sense memory altered with time. When Ford slid his thick finger inside, the sting made Gavin flinch and hiss. But before Ford could stop, Gavin clamped down to keep Ford inside.
Ford pressed his forehead to Gavin’s. Drops of sweat in his hair fell across Gavin’s head, rolled down his cheeks, tasting of salt where one brushed his lips. But he didn’t stop.
Slow, though. God, did he take it slow, stopping for more lube so often, Gavin would have wanted to laugh if he hadn’t felt for himself how good that was, the burn eased by cool gel. Ford’s fingers were bigger than most of the cocks he’d had in him.
Gavin stilled for the first time. Would he be able to take Ford? Yes, he decided. No going back. No regrets.
Three fingers in, scissored wide apart, and Gavin couldn’t stand it anymore. When Ford squeezed the three fingertips together and rubbed over his sweet spot, Gavin’s cock jerked with a thump against Ford’s groin, and though he wasn’t much of a guy for precum, he felt a string of slippery heat escape him.
He headbutted Ford to make him stop teasing. “Now,” he begged. “Please, now.”
“You’re sure?” Ford said. Gavin could tell he too fought the need to fuck and ride him hard. His hips had never stopped moving, humping the bed in an irregular rhythm that ebbed and flowed whenever he got too close. Every time, he bumped Gavin’s balls with his cockhead and drove him all the crazier. “Okay. Okay.”
Gavin expected that juicy cock to slide inside. Was he right? No. Ford tried to turn them again, to lift Gavin on top of him. What?
Gavin fought back, scraping his nails on Ford’s arms this time and shaking his head. He couldn’t say what he’d wanted to, could only shake his head and plead with his eyes.
“You don’t want to be on the top that much?” Ford looked like he didn’t understand. Gavin did, and with that comprehension came a pang of sympathy. Ford didn’t expect people to take him as he was, did he? He’d bet few people smaller than Ford could cope with that mountain weighing them down in bed, so Ford must have adjusted to please his lovers until he didn’t know any other way.
Gavin was the one who didn’t want that. But how…? What could he do…?
An idea came to him. He didn’t stop to think about that. He was done thinking. For now.
“Like this,” he forced himself to whisper as he tried to guide Ford without spelling it out. It was slower going than walking through honey, or the dreams when he meant to run fast but could barely move, but Gavin refused to quit.
By some miracle or chance, Ford got the idea halfway there, and after that it was a rush of limbs and a choppy, still-somehow-so-delighted laugh as Ford guided them both into place. Gavin sitting up with his back to the wall. Ford on his knees in front of Gavin, keeping them face-to-face. Shielding him from the real world waiting too close outside.
Gavin’s eyes flickered shut. He nodded on a long breath out. Yes.
Ford kissed him once, hard, lips pricking as they scraped over teeth. His strength worked for him, making it easy for him to lift Gavin onto his lap, and though their legs could have tangled together awkwardly, Ford made it work. He held Gavin up as if Gavin weighed no more than a luna moth, poised and ready.
Gavin copied Ford. Forehead to forehead and a kiss. Yes. Now.
Between the press of lips and the eager slide of tongue, Ford lowered Gavin slowly, slowly, shaking with the effort not to thrust in for all he was worth.
Gavin couldn’t bite back a sharp cry. For all he’d wanted it, and still did, Ford’s girth was even more than he’d thought, and he felt as if he were being sheared in two.
Ford stilled, utterly motionless. “Gavin? Hey. Gavin.” He rubbed Gavin’s back. Not soft, to baby him, but firm, to bring his mind back and charge his nerve, to make him breathe deep.
“Tell me to stop. I will.” Ford’s voice, deep as the bottom of an oak barrel, had become something almost primeval now.
“Don’t. Stop.” The burn had passed. Almost. Good enough that wanting Ford deeper was worth the flash of pain. Worth it to force himself open and to slide down the interminable length, and not to stop before he felt the tension of Ford’s thighs firm against his ass.
When he looked up, almost proud, the way Ford stared at Gavin undid him all over again. “My God. You…”
Gavin was too full, but there was no more pain. He grasped Ford where he could, arm and shoulder, and kissed Ford on his rise up. Finally, finally here was the hard, the rough he craved, Ford splitting him open and going so deep, he thought he might black out.
“We fit together,” Ford said between gulped breaths, his hands slipping on Gavin’s sweat-drenched skin. He surged forward to brace himself on the wall; Gavin followed, only Ford’s body and his legs locked around Ford’s waist keeping him upright. “We fit.”
“Don’t talk. God, don’t talk. Fuck me.”
Ford groaned. Gavin was open now, all the way. He could feel it. The fit was still so snug, Gavin knew he would feel it for days. Good. Ford’s thrusts were deep and smooth, though not even. Hard, shallow, long, and slick, shaking with the effort to make it good and slow enough to last forever.
Gavin couldn’t last; he couldn’t, and if this was his night, he wanted to finish his way. He bit Ford’s shoulder in an effort to win his concentration and, when that didn’t work, wrestled Ford’s hand down to wrap it around his cock. The last thing he cared about was too much weight; he wanted that. Bruises to remember this by.
“What…?” Ford ground out, though he wasted no time taking firm hold where Gavin wanted him.
“Going to come,” Gavin said with the last of the strength in him. “Want your hand when I do.”
“Oh God,” Ford said. He dropped forward, and Gavin truly couldn’t breathe now, but it didn’t matter, because Ford chanted over and over into his shoulder, “Oh God oh God oh God,” in time with the pumping of his fist. The noises he made mingled with the moans Gavin couldn’t help. Maybe those were what brought him to his peak.
No. That was a lie. What tipped the scales was a chance of fate when Gavin opened his eyes to find Ford had lifted his head and done the same. Close enough that their eyelashes tangled. Gavin looked so deep inside and saw nothing but the truth there. Ford meant what he’d said. Ford loved him.
Ford held Gavin through it, the spasms he couldn’t help, the ones that he thought would tear him apart. They
wrenched from his gut and out, sloppy and thick over Ford’s hand.
Ford, so close, still managed to wait for Gavin to finish before he came back, driving deep and with a force that knocked the bed hard to the wall. Gavin couldn’t make sense of what Ford was saying, noisy at the last, and didn’t care because the words were spoken hot on his skin, and Ford’s cock was iron hard within him, and Ford’s massive body racked with shudders because of him.
This was something else he could give Ford. Gavin didn’t think, just acted. “For me,” he said, raw around the edges. “Give it to me. I want it.”
“Oh… fuck,” Ford said. Five points of pressure dug nearly bone-deep on Gavin’s back. Gavin hung on and let Ford shudder and strain to thrust deeper until he stilled and groaned. He wanted it as much as Ford did. Maybe more.
Oh God, yes, there. He came at last, still somehow too soon, sloppy gushes hot and heavy enough for Gavin to feel on the inside.
Ford only seemed to have the strength left to do one thing, and it was the one thing so far Gavin had guessed right about him. He took Gavin shakily but gently by the nape and kissed him, slow and clumsy and sweet, until the last shudder had passed and they slumped at peace together.
Fucked-out and with a kiss. He almost wanted to laugh.
“Here. Before I hurt you,” Ford said. Confused at first, Gavin understood when Ford lifted him clumsily but carefully and guided his still-half-hard cock out of Gavin’s body.
Gavin hissed at the dull ache, all the burn returning with the withdrawal, reminding him of the abuse he’d taken. But gladly. And if he could, if there were to be such a chance, he’d do it all over again.
Ford sh’d him through the sharp rise and ebb. He laid more messy kisses on Gavin’s neck, his shoulder, his chest. Taking such care with him…
He eased Gavin down to the bed -- Gavin’s head on the one pillow, Ford at his ease on his side. Gavin’s thighs burned too, that soreness not fading. He didn’t want it to. Whenever he’d stand or stretch or sit or walk, he’d still be able to feel where Ford had been.
“You didn’t hurt me,” Gavin said. With more luck than skill, he palmed the back of Ford’s head and ruffled through his sweat-damp hair.