by Jenna Reed
I admired Madeline, and everything she managed to do in a day. How did she handle a toddler, a husband, a full-time job, a pregnancy, and staying sane? I was barely managing one and a half of those things, and not very well. Granted, she’d been teaching for nearly seven years, compared to me embarking on only year number two. I supposed having a husband made keeping up with Wyatt a little easier, but then she had a husband to worry about too. I wasn’t sure it was a fair tradeoff.
While I couldn’t understand how she managed it all, watching her attempt it made me smile. Maybe by the time I hit seven years teaching, I’d be able to add a few more responsibilities to my plate. It seemed a long way off. Eventually, though, I liked the idea of turning into Madeline.
Picking up the invitation, I opened the card and noted the address and time. I realized I should have asked her if there was something specific I could get her before she went back to her classroom. The sound of kids chattering on their way back from music kept me from walking the short distance to ask her. Instead, I opened the bottom drawer of my desk and reached for my purse. Fishing around for my phone, I paused when I had to push a few tampons out of the way in my search.
Tampons.
My mind froze on that one word.
Stalled on the implications.
How long had it been since I’d last had to use one? I couldn’t immediately remember, which was odd for me. Of course, with the stress I’d been under at work, I’d been having trouble remembering a lot of things lately. Scouring my memory, I desperately tried to recall the last time I’d had my period or the last time I’d bought tampons. Timelines blurred in my mind and I wanted to throw something as I attempted to untangle them.
The wedding! I remembered standing in the intimates section of the department store trying to decide what panties to wear under my bridesmaid dress. The fabric had been so thin and sheer, I’d worried about anything colored showing through or any fabric too thick creating panty lines. I’d found the sexy white panties, and wanted them as soon as I laid eyes on them, but had stopped to consider whether or not I’d be on my period during the wedding. I didn’t want to risk white if I were.
Suddenly, the dates fell into place and I slid down in my chair. I’d finished my period a week before the wedding. Which meant I should have had my period two weeks after. But I didn’t. I didn’t have it the next month either. Somehow, amidst the chaos of the new class and whirlwind lesson planning, I’d failed to notice. How?
Stress. Lots of stress. It could mess up your cycles, right? I was pretty sure it could. By that much, though? It seemed unlikely, but maybe…. Surely, it had happened before, at least a few times? Dr. Bennet would know. He could tell me for sure, tell me I was worried about nothing and things like this happened all the time. Right?
Or he could tell me I was pregnant.
From a one-night stand.
With a guy who couldn’t have been less interested in having a child if he tried.
My head fell to my desk and I was suddenly struggling to breathe. I could not be pregnant. I just couldn’t.
Could I?
Doctor’s offices had never bothered me before. Now, I felt as if every person in the waiting room was staring at me. Judging me. Why were there so many kids here, anyway? A little girl, maybe six years old, sat two chairs away and kept smiling at me. I smiled back, but my stomach was so queasy from anxiety that I couldn’t manage anything more than that.
When I’d called for an appointment, I was positive they wouldn’t be able to get me in for a few days at least. When the receptionist said she had a cancellation at four and the doctor could see me then, I’d almost hung up on her. I had to know, though. As close to losing my lunch as I already was, I would go crazy not having an answer.
“Erica?” the nurse called out as she held open the door that led to the patient rooms.
My hand was trembling as I placed it on the arm rest and pushed myself up to standing. I took deep breath with every step I took, fearing I would faint before I even reached her. She smiled as I approached. I couldn’t return the sentiment. Not now. She led me to a small alcove and gestured for me to sit down so she could take my vitals.
“Now,” the nurse began as she brought up my chart on the computer, “what is the doctor seeing you for today?”
“I…” My voice broke and I had to take another deep breath. “I think I might be pregnant.”
The nurse nodded, not surprised or affected in any way. She noted my reason for the visit and turned back to me with the same polite smile. “Let’s get your vitals first, and then we’ll do a quick test to find out for sure, okay?”
I nodded. Then she asked me when my last period was, and I barely managed to whisper the answer. My voice abandoned me then. I waited patiently through getting my blood pressure and temperature taken. When she asked me to step on the scale, I hesitated for a moment. What if Jackson were right? Had I gained wait? Did that mean anything? I forced my feet onto the scale and watched her adjust the weights on top.
Three pounds heavier.
That was nothing, right? I’d been eating like crap lately. That could easily account for three pounds.
“Follow me, Erica,” the nurse said. She directed me to a restroom and explained that there were urine sample cups inside and that I should write my name on the lid and put it in the receptacle when I was finished.
Again, I could only nod. She had to open the door for me and waited for me to take a step into the room. Then she let go of the door, leaving me to either catch it, or get the hell inside and get this over with. My feet chose the latter. I, at least, had enough sense to remember to lock the door behind me. Then, autopilot of some kind took over, because my brain had completely checked out. Before I realized what I was doing, I put the sample in the receptacle and washed my hands.
When I opened the restroom door, the nurse was waiting. She smiled again and led me to a patient room. “Dr. Bennet will be with you shortly,” she said before disappearing.
The only thing I could think to do in that moment was grab my phone and text Sophia. I started typing, panic spilling from my fingertips. I deleted and retyped my message a dozen or more times. Nothing I typed was making sense. I didn’t even know anything yet. Either way, I needed my best friend.
I’m at the doctor. I need you to meet me when I’m done. I’ll text as soon as I finish.
I hit send and dropped my phone back into my purse. A knock sounded on the door a few seconds later and Dr. Bennet popped his head in. When he saw me, he smiled, but not in his usual way. I immediately wondered if he was reacting to my panic, or what he was about to tell me.
“I can tell you’re feeling anxious about your visit today,” he began, “but let me start with a question, okay?”
I nodded.
“Is today’s visit related to your last visit?”
I nodded again.
So did he. “Your test results from your last visit were all negative, which was exactly what we wanted. Today’s results are positive. Erica, you are pregnant. Going off the dates of your last cycle, you’re about eight weeks along.”
All the air went out of me. I could hear my phone buzzing in my purse. A phone call. Sophia, no doubt. I’d freaked her out. She probably thought I was dying. I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t breathe. My chest hurt. My head felt weird. Dizzy.
Dr. Bennet gently pushed my head toward my knees, and said, “Take a few deep breaths, Erica. Everything is going to be alright. Just keep breathing.”
I wasn’t sure how long he kept telling me to breathe. I wasn’t even sure whether or not I was breathing. I’d completely shut down and didn’t pull myself together again for what felt like an eternity. When Dr. Bennet was sure I wasn’t going to pass out, he gently helped me sit back up and took a deep breath himself.
“You’re shocked, clearly,” he began, “but you do have options if this isn’t something you’re ready for.”
I nodded dumbly, not really understanding what
he was saying.
“The father…”
I blanched at that word. Father? Rhett didn’t want to be a father. He didn’t even want a steady girlfriend.
“Hmm,” Dr. Bennet said. “I take it from that reaction that the father isn’t going to want to be involved.”
I shook my head.
“Is he someone you can get back in contact with?” he asked.
“Yes,” I whispered, though it was the absolute last thing I wanted to do.
Dr. Bennett's expression was understanding and full of compassion. “I would encourage you to talk to the father, just to be sure about his feelings on the situation, before you make a decision. If you have a close friend or family member, I would encourage talking to them as well. Don’t decide anything right now. Give it a day or two, okay? Let the shock wear off.”
Would the shock ever wear off?
“My friend is going to meet me after this,” I said.
Smiling, Dr. Bennet nodded his approval. “Take all the time you need in here, but please make an appointment for next week so we can talk again. No matter what your decision is, I’m here to help and I can refer you to someone who’ll take good care of you either way, okay?”
“Thank you,” I said, my voice weak. Then I shook my head. “How did this even happen?”
Sighing, he held up his hands. “No form of birth control is one hundred percent effective. You mentioned last visit that you and your partner hadn’t used protection. Most of the time, birth control is enough to prevent pregnancy, but sometimes it’s not. Add in the stress you were under with your friend’s wedding and store opening, work, everything else? It can happen.”
Pretty much everything I’d already supposed. I could only nod. It wouldn’t do any good to argue that it shouldn’t have happened. It had.
Dr. Bennet patted my shoulder. “Take your time, Erica.”
He left me alone then.
I sat, staring at the wall until my phone startled me out of my thoughts. I took it from my purse and saw three missed calls from Sophia and at least a dozen texts. The last one said she was outside in the parking lot and was coming in if I didn’t answer her. Collecting myself and my things, I slipped out of the room as I texted her to wait for me. After making the promised appointment for next week, I headed for the parking lot and tried to prepare myself for Sophia’s reaction.
It was bound to be about as bad as mine.
Her gaze zeroed in on me as soon as I exited the building. She nearly collided with me in her rush to get to me. Grabbing my shoulders, she inspected me for something visibly wrong. “What is going on?” she demanded. “You’re freaking me out! Are you sick? Hurt?”
I shook my head slowly. “Pregnant.”
Sophia’s expression twisted into one of confusion. “What? How? You haven’t even had sex since…” Her words cut off as she gasped. “Oh my god. Rhett?”
“He’s the only one it could possibly be,” I said.
Sophia’s mouth snapped closed. She scanned the surrounding area for somewhere we could sit, and must have spotted something because she started dragging me down the sidewalk a moment later. She didn’t stop until we were seated in a corner booth at a crappy little café, three units down from the doctor’s office. By some miracle, she held her million questions inside until the waitress took our orders and disappeared.
“How the hell did this happen?” she demanded.
Squirming, my gaze dropped. “I may have forgotten to mention before that we didn’t use any protection that night.”
Sophia surprised me by laughing. She shook her head. “No. No way. Rhett never has sex without protection. It’s one of his rules.”
“He has rules?” I asked. That was more than I knew. He’d never actually gotten around to telling me what his rules were.
Rolling her eyes, Sophia said, “Cody had the same rules. Before he met me, anyway.” She smirked. Then she remembered what we were talking about. “I’m serious, though, Rhett would never sleep with someone without protection. How could this have happened?”
I could only shrug, still too numb to think too hard about anything. “Everything happened so fast. We’d been flirting and teasing so much all night, I guess we were both just too absorbed in what we were doing to even think about it.”
Sophia fell back against the booth and shook her head. For several long minutes, we sat in silence. The waitress returned with our coffees, but I could only stare at it. Sophia didn’t touch hers either, but she was the first to break the silence. “When are you going to tell him?”
My head popped up and immediately started shaking. “I’m not. Why would I? He’s not going to want anything to do with the baby.”
“You don’t know that,” she argued.
“Yes, I do. Let’s be honest, you know what kind of guy he is. He is not the relationship or having kids’ kind of guy.”
“You have to tell him, Erica,” she pushed. “He deserves to know.”
“Why? So he can tell me good luck and to never call him again?”
Taking a long, slow breath, Sophia seemed to consider her words carefully. “Look, I know what a bastard Rhett can be at times, but I also know that he can be a really great guy too.” When I started to shake my head, she held up her hand to stop me. “I’m not just saying this because he’s my brother-in-law. I know him a lot better than you do. Rhett would be devastated if he found out later. It would ruin any chance of you two having a relationship.”
“I don’t want a relationship with him,” I argued.
“You don’t have to date him,” Sophia said, “but if you keep the baby, you’ll want to at least be his friend, or this will all be ten times harder.”
“Not if he walks away,” I snapped.
“He won’t.”
“What if I don’t want him involved?”
Sophia shrugged. “If you keep the baby, Rhett will have rights as the father.”
She kept saying if. If I keep the baby. Dr. Bennet had mentioned other options as well. Despite still being in shock, I already knew I would keep the baby. No, I wasn’t ready for a child. I had no clue what the next step was, either. I was too young, too busy, and stressed out to have a baby. I was also sure that I would do it anyway.
There was no doubt in my mind that Sophia was wrong about Rhett wanting to be involved. Maybe the baby was his genetically, but I doubted it would matter to him. The baby was part of me, though, and I wasn’t willing to give that up. Somehow, I would figure it all out and make it work. On my own.
As Sophia waited for my response, a tiny speck of doubt wormed its way into my mind. Could she be right? I couldn’t imagine she was, but I knew deep down that telling him was the right thing to do, even if I had to suffer through his rejection to do it.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll tell him.”
8
Rhett
I surveyed the crowded bar as I walked in, and spotted a table of women in a corner. The way they were scoping out the nearby men suggested they’d come out to have some fun, and didn’t necessarily intend to leave together. Keeping them in my peripheral vision, I walked up to the bar and grabbed the only empty stool available. When the bartender slid into place in front of me a few minutes later, I ordered a scotch neat and tangled myself to see which of the women seemed most like a sure bet.
All five were dressed to impress. Two were leaning toward each other, giggling and pointing at someone at a nearby table. I crossed them off the list. One looked to already be on her third cocktail, judging by the empty glasses in front of her, and the way she was swaying in her chair. I nixed her as well. Alcohol was all well and good for loosening a person up and making them more adventurous, but I steered clear of drunk women for more than one reason. First off, I wanted them to actually remember having sex with me. Secondly, hazy memories could lead to trouble the next day, and trouble wasn’t what I was looking for. Fun, on the other hand...yeah that was more my thing.
Turning my attention to the
two remaining ladies, I took in the way they were casually chatting with each other while keeping an eye out for someone who interested them. The blonde gave me an ample view of her cleavage, leaning over just enough to nearly push her tits out of her dress. That wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Considering her friend, I noticed her hair was also blonde, but darker, almost the same color as Erica’s. That thought paused my train of thought.
Thoughts of Erica had been all too frequent lately. I hadn’t worked up the courage to ask Sophia for her number and she hadn’t come to their barbecue two weekends ago either. Aggravation at not being able to see or talk to Erica almost made me pass on the woman who reminded me of her. Then I reconsidered. Maybe it would help me stop thinking about her. The idea percolated for a few moments before I tossed it aside. No doubt trying to find a replacement for Erica would only frustrate me further.
Her friend it was then.
Dropping cash on the bar top, I grabbed my drink and started toward their table. The Erica lookalike spotted me first and raised a curious eyebrow. Her friend kept talking until I stopped next to their table. Her gaze flicked up to mine, and an eager smile spread across her lips.
Instead of addressing the sure bet as I’d planned, I found myself turning away from her and saying, “You look a lot like a friend of mine. Thought you were her when I first started walking over.”
Her expression said she thought my comment was nothing more than a line, but it didn’t turn her off. Her coy expression reminded me even more of Erica. “What’s this friend’s name?” she asked.
“Erica,” I replied. “What’s yours?”
Her smile curved a little more. “Natalie.” Her gaze flicked over my body for a brief moment before coming back to my eyes. “And your name?”
Extending my hand, I reminded myself that this was a bad idea. It didn’t help. When she took my hand, I said, “Rhett. Nice to meet you.”
“You too,” she said with a distinct note of desire in her voice.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation,” I said as our hands parted.