He didn’t know how to be family. He’d never had one. Certainly not one like the Bishops. Though he didn’t really know what that meant now. He’d idealised their family; Summer had made that clear. And he’d seen it himself.
But they were still more of a family than he’d ever had. His only example of familial relationships had been his parents’ abandonment. His first and only attempt at creating his own family with Summer had failed.
Why did thinking about that make his heart ache? Why did it make fear thrum in his veins?
He didn’t know. But as he got out of the shower, Wyatt was determined not to think about it.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
EVEN IF WYATT hadn’t warned her, Summer would have known something was wrong the moment she walked into the room.
The lodge had prepared a room for Lynette to get ready in, but it looked as if it had been used for more than that. The bed was unmade; her mother’s suitcases were in the corner. Lynette was sitting in a white nightgown on a chair, staring into the cup in her lap. Summer couldn’t tell if anything was inside it.
‘Mom,’ Autumn said after taking everything in. ‘Are you okay?’
Lynette’s eyes lifted lethargically, as if she hadn’t realised they’d walked into the room. Her expression softened when she saw Autumn.
‘Honey, I didn’t know you were here.’
‘Of course I’m here,’ Autumn said, sitting on the chair next to her mother. ‘You and Dad are renewing your vows.’
Lynette looked down again, but not before Summer saw her mother’s eyes fill. She stood, unmoving, before lifting her shoulders when Autumn shot her a look. Help, it screamed. But how could she help when this was her fault?
‘I’m not sure we’ll be doing that, Autumn.’ Her mother’s voice was soft but firm. ‘Your father and I are...not on the same page any more.’
‘What does that mean?’
Lynette’s head lifted, and she looked directly at Summer. ‘Why didn’t you tell me, darling?’
Her legs began to shake, though Summer couldn’t be sure that hadn’t started the moment she’d seen Wyatt. If not then, surely when he’d told her to be honest. To let herself belong. She’d been hopeful in that moment, thinking about the possibility of belonging again. But she was sure now it wouldn’t happen. Keeping her father’s secret had already brought such destruction. How could being honest be any different?
The look on her mother’s face told her she no longer had a choice though.
She took a deep breath. ‘He asked me not to.’
‘And you listened to him?’ Lynette asked. ‘I raised you better than that.’
‘But the man who raised me alongside you asked me to do this. It wasn’t...’ She blew out a breath. ‘This wasn’t a failing in how you raised me, Mom. It wasn’t my moral decision. This wasn’t my decision at all.’
‘That,’ Lynette said, her fingers tightening on her mug, ‘is not true.’
‘Okay,’ Autumn said into the tight quiet that followed their mother’s words. ‘Clearly I’m missing something here.’ She looked from Lynette to Summer. ‘Care to explain?’
‘I knew about the affair,’ Summer said, tired of the secret now. ‘I found out before the O’Brien deal went through. Dad asked me not to tell you and Mom until the papers were signed.’
‘What?’
Summer didn’t answer. Instead, she walked onto the patio, resting her forearms on the balcony railing. She took a deep breath, letting the sea air soothe her. Except it reminded her of Wyatt now. Of when he’d chased her along the edge of the water. Of when they’d kissed. Of when they’d danced.
Let yourself belong.
She walked back into the room.
‘Sun,’ Autumn said as soon as she did, ‘how long did you know?’
‘Two months,’ she answered. Inhaled. Exhaled. ‘That’s when I started separating myself from the family. I wanted to tell you both so badly. I didn’t want to be alone in it. I know that sounds selfish—’
‘It doesn’t,’ her sister interrupted. ‘Part of why I could get through it was because I wasn’t doing it alone. We all were. At least, I thought so,’ she added, pained.
‘No, you didn’t think that,’ Summer said. ‘You knew I was struggling. You both did.’ She paused. ‘And this is why, by the way. Not because I was clinging to the past, or because I couldn’t get over Dad breaking our trust—’
She stopped at that. Took a moment to figure out why it felt significant. She’d spent so much time resenting him for asking her to keep the affair a secret that she hadn’t truly thought about the affair itself.
No, that wasn’t true, she thought immediately. She had thought about it. And she had felt betrayed—about both things. Her father cheating on her mother and asking her to keep it a secret.
She shook her head. She’d think about it later.
‘I couldn’t forgive him for breaking up our family,’ she continued quietly. ‘Not only because of his affair, but because of what it did to me in our family. It...pushed me out.’
Both Autumn and Lynette moved towards her, but Autumn fell back and let Lynette pull Summer into a hug. Summer heard the sob that came from her mouth as if it were in the distance, but she managed to stop any more from escaping. She didn’t want to break open now. She still wasn’t sure what would spill out.
But she clung to her mother, needing the comfort. Feeling, for the first time in for ever, as if Lynette finally understood.
Lynette pulled back. ‘I’m sorry you went through that.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, sincerity coating her words.
‘I wish you’d told me.’ Lynette brushed Summer’s hair away from her face. ‘Then we wouldn’t be here.’
‘Wouldn’t we?’ Summer asked.
‘No,’ Lynette said decisively. She went back to her seat, lowering down regally. ‘I wouldn’t have said yes to your father’s proposal if I’d known.’
‘Dad proposed?’ Summer tilted her head. ‘Why didn’t I know that?’
Lynette lifted a shoulder. Something jiggled inside Summer’s chest.
‘Anyway,’ Summer said, ignoring it, ‘you know you would have said yes, Mom.’
‘No, I—’
‘This isn’t worse than him cheating on you.’
Lynette’s face tightened. ‘So you say.’
‘Because I know,’ Summer said. ‘I know you and Dad. If you could work through the affair, you can work through this.’ She paused. ‘There was no real damage, Mother.’
‘You must be joking,’ Lynette said, straightening. ‘You’ve spent the last eight years in pain. And your father knew it. He did nothing about it.’ She pressed a hand to her stomach. ‘You should never have felt like an outsider to this family, Summer.’
‘But that was just as much me as it was Dad,’ she said, realising its truth. She swallowed. ‘I think Dad did a cost benefit analysis and realised he’d rather hurt me than you.’ She took an unsteady breath. ‘Which would have happened if he’d told you the truth, clearly.’ She paused. ‘I understand why he did it.’
‘I don’t,’ Lynette said stubbornly.
Summer looked at Autumn then, tilting her head towards their mother.
Autumn lifted her brows. Are you sure? she was asking. Summer nodded. When Autumn wordlessly asked why, Summer shrugged.
She didn’t know why she wanted to make things right. Maybe she was tired of a broken family. Now that Autumn and her mother knew the truth, she wouldn’t have to hide anything any more. They could move forward. She could belong.
She wasn’t sure she could tie this up so simply, particularly when she hadn’t even thought about where her father fitted into all of it. But she didn’t want her mother to hurt. Not for her sake, anyway. Not when her mother was right: she’d made a choice to keep the truth from them. By doing so
, she’d continued to play the outsider role. She’d had a say in that, too.
She couldn’t quite wrap her head around it though, so she pushed it aside. Pushed the emotions down, too.
‘I think Summer’s right,’ Autumn said, on cue. ‘You’ve spent the last eight years working through this. You’ve built a marriage that’s stronger.’
‘And yet I still can’t trust him.’
‘Of course you can,’ Summer said, waving a hand. ‘Dad’s changed in the last eight years.’ She frowned. ‘More than I realised.’ She shook her head. ‘He’s put you first since then, Mom. Wyatt has more responsibility at Bishop Enterprises now because Dad’s spent more time at home. With you. Working on rebuilding that trust. Your marriage is important to him.’
Defending her father felt strange, but the words weren’t lies. She still didn’t know what to do about that knowledge.
‘What happened with me... He was wrong, Mom, but I don’t think he was trying to hide it from you. He just didn’t want to jeopardise what you’ve worked so hard to rebuild.’
Silence followed Summer’s words. She held her breath, trying to anticipate her mother’s next argument.
‘It ruined your marriage, Summer,’ Lynette said. Summer certainly hadn’t anticipated that. ‘You clearly still love Wyatt. The reason you two divorced isn’t because of your work, like you told us.’
‘No,’ Summer agreed, speaking over the lump in her throat. ‘It’s because I...was afraid of being hurt like you were,’ she said, grasping the reason Autumn had given her that morning. She leaned more heavily on the crutch. ‘I was afraid to trust someone again.’ She sucked in air. ‘But I’m an adult, Mom. It was my choice. It’s my responsibility. I’ve accepted that.’
‘What about—?’
‘No,’ Autumn interrupted. ‘Now you’re just looking for an excuse to get out of this.’ Autumn took Lynette’s hands, drew her up. ‘I think you’re getting cold feet.’
‘I am not.’
‘Great.’ Autumn grinned. ‘You have no more reason to delay this wedding.’ Autumn looked at her watch. ‘With thirty minutes to spare, too.’ She paused. ‘Can I tell Dad you’ve forgiven him?’
Lynette’s eyes swept over Summer. Summer nodded, giving her the most genuine smile she could manage. When her mother’s face brightened, Summer thought she deserved a prize for acting.
‘Tell him the ceremony will continue,’ Lynette said. ‘Don’t let him know I forgive him yet.’ She sniffed. ‘He can spend some more time being miserable. It can be his penance for doing what he did to Summer.’
Summer’s smile came more naturally now.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
HER MIND WAS still a mess by the time they made their way down to the beach for the ceremony. Fortunately, Autumn was walking in front with Lynette, chatting about nothing in particular. Summer knew her sister was doing so purposefully. Autumn had sent her shrewd looks the entire time they’d spent getting ready; she knew how much Summer had borrowed from their conversation to make their mother feel better.
If they both hadn’t been determined to get Lynette down the aisle, Summer was sure Autumn would have said something. But they were, thankfully. And Autumn was nothing if not a team player, so the chattering’s intention was to keep Lynette from noticing Summer’s silence.
It was a relief when they finally reached the beach. It was the same venue as where the disco had been the night before. This time, the inner venue had been transformed into a dining hall. Three long tables were arranged at an angle in the room, with one smaller table on one end.
All the tables were decorated with white cloths and yellow runners. A bright, bold flower arrangement stood at each end; tea-light candles had been placed on top of white petals running between the arrangements. The smaller table had ‘Mr and Mrs, Again’ carved in wood at its front. Fairy lights hung down the wall behind the table.
The patio was void of any lights, and had been softened with vases and pots of white, yellow, and pink flowers. A carpet extended from the sliding doors of the venue down, over the patio to the front of where Summer assumed her parents would be renewing their vows. She had to assume as her view of that area was currently obscured by a large arch of greenery and white, yellow, and pink flowers that had been placed at the beginning of the beach.
‘Wow,’ Summer breathed. ‘This is... Wow.’
‘Thank you.’ Lynette smiled thinly. She’d recovered enough to be nervous. ‘Your sister and I have been working on this for months.’
Lynette put an arm around Autumn and squeezed. Something inside Summer squeezed, too.
‘You’ve been helping with this?’ she asked Autumn. ‘Why didn’t either of you tell me? Or ask me to help?’
Lynette and Autumn exchanged a look.
‘We thought you wouldn’t be interested, dear,’ Lynette said. She took a step forward, brushing a curl from Summer’s forehead. ‘But you’re here. And we’re a family again. That’s enough.’
She kissed Summer’s head and took a deep breath. The show of nerves made Summer realise now wasn’t the time for her emotions. She could be offended at how low the bar was later. She could think about her mother being pleased that she’d simply attended a family event later. She wouldn’t think about how it showed how much of an outsider she’d allowed herself to become now.
No, now, she’d offer her mother a smile.
‘You look breathtaking, Mom. Dad isn’t going to know what hit him.’
Her mother smoothed down the front of the simple white dress she wore. It had sleeves and lowered into a modest V at her neck. There was a yellow belt at its waist; the rest of the white material fell down to her bare feet. Her curls were tamed into a bun, though some strands of them had escaped and sprung around the yellow flower Summer had tied in her hair minutes ago.
For some reason, the picture of it had Summer blinking back tears. She forced her smile wider instead. Autumn gripped her hand, squeezed. Then it was time for them to walk down the aisle.
Summer had never been more grateful for the beach than at that moment. The wind was blowing lightly, and the sun wasn’t strong enough to do anything other than tenderly warm the earth.
She took a deep breath of salty fresh air and followed Autumn down the aisle.
The first thing she saw was the white arch at the end of the aisle. It had been made of wire, and had greenery and flowers curving around it like the first arch. The second thing she looked at was her father. He looked...grateful, she thought. When her mother started the walk down the aisle, Summer watched him blink back tears.
It felt like proof her father had changed. Or become a better version of himself. A combination of the good things of the man she’d thought she’d lost all those years ago and someone who was trying. That last part made a difference, she thought. Trevor had always been a good man. His priorities had been skewed, and that had led him down a dark path. But he’d changed those priorities. He was trying to put his family first this time. And he’d succeeded... With Autumn and Lynette.
It still stung that he hadn’t tried with her.
She believed everything she’d told her mother. She knew her father had weighed up hurting his wife against hurting his daughter. His daughter had lost. Which, she supposed, was to be expected. She couldn’t even blame him for it.
What she did blame him for was teaching Wyatt to do the same thing.
It was my choice. It’s my responsibility.
The memory of her words forced Summer into remembering she’d contributed to the end of her relationship, too. Hell, she’d just realised she’d contributed to isolating herself from her family as well. There were myriad examples of times when she’d excluded herself. Enough that her mother hadn’t even asked her to help plan the vow renewal.
She’d told herself her father had broken their family. And that Wyatt’s actions had ended th
eir marriage. She’d conveniently removed her own culpability in the process.
* * *
Watching Summer walk down the aisle had given him chills.
The chills hadn’t been the bad kind. They hadn’t been because he’d been frightened by seeing his ex-wife walk down the aisle. Seeing her hadn’t caused his stomach to turn. It hadn’t caused nausea, nor the hundreds of other reactions he should have had at seeing a woman he’d divorced walk down an aisle again.
No, his chills had been of the good kind. They’d accompanied the thought that he’d lost out by suggesting they marry in court. And that thought had been accompanied by a longing he’d felt so rarely in his life he could count the instances on one hand.
Like the time he’d seen a father and son having a meal together in a restaurant when he’d been sixteen. Or when he’d been twenty-four and he’d seen a man and his mother reunite at the airport.
The longing always—always—came with regret. He didn’t care for it.
So Wyatt desperately tried to ignore Summer altogether. He was determined not to think about her standing on the opposite side of the aisle. It should have been easier than it was considering she barely looked at him. He knew that because his efforts were failing. He tried to focus on the ceremony again.
Again, he did not succeed.
His eyes slid over to her and he thought that, perhaps, he was being too hard on himself. Almost everyone else in attendance must have felt the same way. The Bishop sisters made a startling picture as the maids of honour—titles Trevor had informed him of with great amusement.
Though Trevor’s smile could have come from his relief that the ceremony was on again.
Both sisters were dressed in yellow. Autumn’s dress was a bright shade that looked as if it had been made for a summer wedding; Summer’s a much lighter colour. The styles of their dresses were also different, though this time Autumn’s seemed demurer and Summer’s more audacious. It was intricately designed, so naturally he couldn’t describe it. All he knew was that he could see a leg and an arm and he felt lucky for it.
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