by Louise Bay
She laughed, sat back and glanced at me. The fire and the moonlight lit up her silhouette. And as much as I didn’t want to create expectations, didn’t want anything from her, I was drawn toward her—I wanted to be closer to her, to be holding her. I wasn’t ready to press stop on our time together, but I knew I should—for both of us. Neither of us were in the right place mentally or physically to extend a one-night stand to a two-night stand. But the pull toward her wasn’t lessening.
“I mean it—you’re beautiful.” I placed my hand on her bare knee, no longer able to resist touching her. She slid her palm on top of mine and we interlinked our fingers. My pulse began to tap in my neck. This was not a good idea.
“So you work here?” she asked. “I mean, this is your job? Surrounding yourself with unhappy women?”
I chuckled. “No, this is my family’s place. I’m just visiting. I’m a biochemist. I told you.” I’m trying to figure out my life, just like you.
She nodded and pointed at her head. “Whiskey brain.”
“How come you can’t sleep? You dropped off easily last night.”
She raised her eyebrows and laughed as she looked away. “Maybe it was the way you turned my body to jelly.”
My cock stirred at the memory of her soft warmth under me last night. “So I was like Xanax for you?” I shifted closer so our thighs were touching.
“Apparently.” She looked back at the fire. “And you kept your promise. It was a hot hookup.” Muttering almost to herself as she stared at the ground, she added, “And no love involved.”
I chuckled. “Women don’t normally complain about men falling in love with them.”
She smiled and shook her head. “That makes me sound horrible. It’s not what I mean. It’s the other way around.”
I wanted her to elaborate. From the little I knew of her, I could imagine she would be easy to fall in love with, but she’d told Lady that guys dumped her. I wanted to know more. Most of the time last night she’d seemed so carefree, but since I saw her with Lady, I realized that at other times she’d been almost anxious. I couldn’t figure her out.
“I don’t think I should have come here. This isn’t what I thought it would be.”
“What did you think it was going to be?”
She paused and drew her eyebrows together in a half frown. “I didn’t think too much about what it would involve. I was just focused on the outcome—the happily ever after. My fiancé dumped me and I ended up here.” It was as if she’d forgotten we were strangers and was telling me the most intimate things about herself—a sharp contrast to her confidence last night. “I’m just about to hit thirty. I want to know why I haven’t found my guy.”
“So maybe this trip will help you work it out?”
She tried to move her hand from mine, but instead I took the opportunity to place my palm against hers and hold her hand properly. She didn’t resist. “I don’t see what no cell phones, silent trekking and camping among all these creepy crawlies has to do with me finding the right guy.”
A beat of silence passed between us. I couldn’t tell her that it would work or what my sister’s plans were—I had no idea on either score—but I wanted to make her feel better.
“I should have just gone for a run and downed a bottle of wine.” She was trying to make a joke but it wasn’t funny. She was unhappy and she’d taken action. That was a good thing. She was wanting to change her life and she’d asked for help. I couldn’t laugh. It wasn’t funny. It was brave.
“If nothing else, you can enjoy a break, the Oklahoma air, being outdoors,” I said.
“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I might talk to the girls tomorrow and see if they want to leave. I shouldn’t have booked us in here without understanding a bit more about it. It’s not like me. I’m normally much more considered.”
Should I be trying to convince her to stay? “So maybe different is good. You heard what Robert said about the definition of insanity.”
She shrugged.
I didn’t like the fact that she thought coming to Christie was a mistake. “All I know is that this is an excellent place, particularly when you’re at a crossroads in your life.” Her eyes widened, almost urging me on. I was probably biased but Christie was a sanctuary for me. “It’s good to get away from real life for a little while, helps you gain perspective. Remember what’s important. It’s why I’m here.”
“You’re at a crossroads?” she asked, looking at me from under her lashes. The flames from the fire pit lit up her face as if her warmth from the inside was showing on the outside.
I nodded and she looked at me as if I was going to be able to fix whatever had brought her here. The unguarded way she looked at me made me want to try. “I’ll tell you something about Brianna—and don’t ever tell her I said this because I will deny it until the day I die—but she’s good at relationship advice. Well, any kind of advice.” It wasn’t the psychology degree she had that made her qualified to run this retreat. It was the way she could always see the lesson in everything. Nothing in life was bleak for Brianna because she learned as she went along, both from her mistakes and from those around her and always believed her future would be better than her past.
“Some guy still cheated on her though.”
“Yeah, but people are going to be assholes. You’re never going to change that. What I love about my sister is that she didn’t let it define her. She didn’t become bitter, and most of all, she didn’t tolerate his behavior or repeat the mistake.” I wasn’t surprised Brianna had told Mackenzie her own story—she loved to share the lessons she learned and she understood that her being cheated on once was no reflection on her. “Her current boyfriend treats her well. She’s moved past it.”
Mackenzie stared into the fire as it crackled and spat as if it wanted to join in the conversation. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “It feels so . . . uncomfortable.” The way she lingered before she chose her words indicated she wasn’t talking about the camping. The Red from Jimmy’s was glossy and glamorous and I imagine that’s how she liked it—everything beautiful on the surface.
I trailed my gaze over the soft red curls escaping down her back. “Uncomfortable can be good.” Could it? I didn’t know if I was talking to her or me. My life in Oklahoma City was comfortable. College in Boston had been anything but. I’d always thought that when I got to college I’d finally belong—among the brainiacs and the science. Actually being there had been a wakeup call. More of me had belonged to Oklahoma than I had ever realized. I’d spent a year miserable before transferring to Texas. Uncomfortable hadn’t been good for me so far.
She ran her thumb along a split in the wooden bench, concentrating as if she were making a cut. “Why on earth would uncomfortable be good? I never understand people who say stuff like that. Aren’t we meant to be happy?”
“Sometimes life is sweeter because of the struggle.” I believed what I was saying so far as it applied to her. She was stuck in a cycle that made her unhappy, so it made sense to try to shift things. Was it the same for me? I wasn’t unhappy in Oklahoma City. I didn’t need sweeter.
She snapped her head around to meet my gaze. “So we can’t be happy unless we’ve been miserable?”
I wasn’t sure if I’d ever had a conversation like this outside my family. With friends we talked about sports and science and occasionally relationships, but not like this. We didn’t talk about unhappiness and life and not knowing how to make life better. I wanted her to stay and find a solution for her future. “More that there are lessons to be learned in why we were miserable—what led us to that place.” I’d learned my lesson about Harvard. Not wanting to go back to Boston felt like the right choice. I was learning from my mistakes, right? Then why hadn’t I turned down the job already?
“And you think, being here, I’ll learn whatever Brianna’s here to teach?” She sounded a little impatient, a little incredulous. And I liked it—I liked the drive to be better, to want more.
“I thin
k these Oklahoma skies have a lot to teach.” I wasn’t making any promises, but that I knew for sure.
She rubbed the pad of her thumb along the side of my hand, setting off sparks of heat throughout my body. The makeup and hair from the previous evening had disappeared, leaving behind who she really was. She looked at home here, staring into the fire, the flickering flames lighting her face, accentuating her delicate features and the smattering of freckles across her nose.
Peeling back her shiny, glamorous outside felt good. And talking to her, surprisingly, I liked her. Were there more layers that I’d discover if she stayed?
Had I convinced her to stay?
I bent my head slightly so my forehead rested on hers. “You look good in the wild,” I whispered. I should be able to draw a line under last night, allow her to learn what she needed to from this trip, keep my head clear—focus. But I wanted more.
She leaned into me and I pulled her onto my lap.
She moved across my thighs, the press of her weight making me want to skip this part and get to the naked bit. Her cheek grazed mine and our lips crashed together, desperate and hungry. I plunged my tongue into her mouth, wanting to know if she tasted as sweet as I remembered. I hadn’t kissed her before she left—a regret that had hung over me all day.
Having her near me, I wanted to talk to her. When I was talking to her, I wanted her closer. When I was closer, I wanted to kiss her, and now kissing her I wanted more. I wanted her to stay with me for tonight at least. “Want me to help you get to sleep?”
“Blake, we shouldn’t.”
She was right. She’d just broken up with someone and her head was everywhere. Part of me would be using her as a way of emptying my mind of everything but that moment, an excuse not to focus on what I came here for. And Brianna would kill me. There were plenty of good reasons not to do this. But then there was her.
“Maybe,” I said, my cock calling me a traitor. I dropped a small kiss on her collarbone and she sighed.
“Just as a distraction? Just tonight?” she asked, kissing across my jaw. She was trying to give herself an excuse, permission, boundaries.
I smoothed my hands across her back. “Just a distraction. No falling in love.”
She grabbed at my shirt, pulling it over my head. “Where? Here?”
I hadn’t thought about logistics. I had a cabin to myself, but it was right next to Brianna’s. The two cabins farthest from camp weren’t being used. There wouldn’t be much privacy, but better than here by the fire. “Can you be quiet?” My stomach flipped as I remembered her screaming my name.
“I don’t know,” she said seriously. “I can try.”
I dropped a small kiss on her mouth and stood, lifting her into my arms.
“Try hard.”
I set Mackenzie to the ground at the entrance to my cabin, placed my fingers over her lips and mouthed, Stay here. I went inside and grabbed my sleeping bag and my wallet then pulled Mackenzie by the hand and headed toward the two empty cabins.
I opened the door to the one farthest from all the others. Hopefully no one would be able to hear us as long as we were quiet. My erection strained against my zipper. I wanted to slip inside her and feel her tight, wet muscles surrounding me.
We stepped over the threshold and I closed the door, trying to make as little noise as possible. As the room went dark, something shifted between us, the air intensifying as if we knew that the next touch would ask a question or provide an answer that could change things, make this more than just fucking. The atmosphere between us turned heavy in the most seductive way. I couldn’t hear anything but our breath, couldn’t see anything but her silhouette. Her palm flattened on my chest and she came into focus, my mind going fuzzy. I needed to touch her. I grabbed her ass, pushing my erection against her stomach, and dipped my head to her neck.
I breathed her in, wanting the smell of lilac to stay with me long after she left.
She unbuttoned my jeans, and I tensed at the thought of her fingers against my flesh. I’d been worried about her being quiet. I should have been more concerned about me. I ground my teeth together as her hand slid under my boxers and down my shaft. She let go and I watched as she pushed my pants to the floor and knelt.
Though there was nothing on this earth I wanted right at that moment other than a blowjob from the beautiful, sexy woman in front of me, there was no way I wanted her on her knees in this place.
“No,” I hissed. “Not here.” I grabbed the top of her arm and lifted her.
“You don’t like it?” She looked away as she asked as if she was embarrassed, or ashamed that she hadn’t pleased me. I’d known the girl just over a day, but I was pretty sure there wasn’t much she could do that wouldn’t please me.
“Believe me, there’s nothing I want more than that dirty mouth wrapped around my cock, but not here.”
My hand slid to her cotton-covered pussy and she moved her hips away. I grabbed her ass and pulled her toward me. “I’ve been tortured all day by not being able to touch you. Don’t make it worse.”
She took off her shirt, revealing her perfect, round breasts. I needed more. I slipped my fingers into the waistband of her underwear and pulled them down and off. “That’s better.” Even though it was dark, just the thought of her naked was enough to have my cock pulsing. “When you’re with me like this, I want you to tell me what you like. I need you to tell me—I want to make you come.” She’d seemed so shocked by what her body did last night that I wanted to prove it wasn’t a fluke. Her expectations were too low—I would show her again tonight.
She looked up at me, her eyes wide as she worried the edge of her lip with her teeth. With a small nod she said, “Okay.” I almost didn’t hear her.
She reached for my T-shirt but I got to it first, stripping it off and stepping out of my jeans. I clenched my jaw to stop myself from groaning as she stroked the flat of her palm up my cock. Her hand was a promise of more to come.
“Do you have condoms?”
I grabbed my wallet from my pants, relieved when my fingers found the familiar foil. After tearing open the packet, I rolled on the condom as quickly as I could as my impatience grew and my fingers shook. I lifted her up and pushed her against the door to the cabin, her soft skin pressing against mine.
My cock pressed against her sex. “This is fast; are you ready?” I didn’t want to hurt her.
She pulled back to look at me, leaving her arms around my neck. “You have no idea what just one touch from you does to me. I’m more than ready. I need you to fuck me.” And there confident Red was, just when I thought she’d left the building.
Even in the dark, the room spun as her words mixed with anticipation.
Our eyes locked as I plunged into her.
Her breaths turned short and sharp as she adjusted to me before I started to move.
The effort it took to make each movement as small as possible, to keep us quiet, intensified every molecule in my body. “That’s it,” she whispered. “Oh God. I thought it was . . .”
I kissed her, swallowing her sounds. We needed to be quiet but I wanted to howl at the moon, she felt so good. The fact that she was obviously finding it difficult to keep quiet made it better. I felt power over her body and I wanted to enjoy it.
I lifted her thighs, pushing closer, deeper. She broke our kiss. “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t . . .” Her voice turned from a whisper, growing louder and louder.
I should stop, let her calm down, but I wanted to make her come and needed my own release. I clamped my hand over her mouth and sped up my rhythm. Her hands braced against my shoulders and her nails dug deeper with every thrust.
She tightened against my cock—she wouldn’t last long. I could come right that second, but at the same time I felt like I could fuck her for days. I didn’t want it to ever be over.
She screamed against my hand, her body convulsing as she went limp. I couldn’t stop, didn’t want to. I kept pounding deeper and deeper, needing more.
&n
bsp; I lifted her again and my fingers found the slickness seeping out from between her thighs. I grunted in appreciation. I couldn’t hold back the sound myself despite the threat of being overheard.
“Red, can you stand if I support you?” I wanted a view of her tight ass.
She didn’t answer, but I slowly put her on her feet, then turned her around and placed her hands out in front of her against the door. I moved her hips and plunged in again. I almost came at the change in angle and had to stop and collect myself. Leaning forward, I kissed her shoulder blade. She shivered as I pulled out and rammed in up to the hilt. Her groan could have been heard two states away.
“Fuck,” I said as I covered her mouth. “Be quiet.” Hopefully people were deep sleepers, or would think the noise was an animal. What we were doing certainly felt primal.
That she couldn’t stop herself from crying out, that she let me in physically and emotionally in a way I bet she didn’t most men, opened a door within me and my orgasm began to unfurl and grow larger and larger. Her fingers curled against the wood and her muffled cries grew more urgent when she spasmed. My climax crashed over me, and I pushed deeper, one last time, pulling her back toward me and against my chest.
Our bodies pulsed together as we pulled as much air into our lungs as we could with each breath. I slipped my hands around her waist and buried my head in her neck. I wanted to taste her sweat, her sweet, sweet skin.
Reluctantly I withdrew, discarded the condom and guided her over to the bed and onto the sleeping bag I’d brought. I pulled her back toward me, against my chest, and threw my leg over her.
“That’s not how it’s meant to be,” she said as she exhaled.
“What?” Did she mean the sex? I was pretty sure she wasn’t disappointed.
“It just feels so good. The best. I hardly know you. We aren’t in love. It’s just . . .” She sighed.
I grinned, although she couldn’t see and kissed the top of her head. I slid my hand over her stomach and down, cupping her mound. She felt so good—soft and pliable. Last night had been great but tonight, without the alcohol, every touch had been concentrated.