by Brent, Cora
Her eyes flutter open. “What?”
“It’s a lot warmer in my bedroom.”
She nods. “Show me.”
I’m not a neat freak but I’m not a slob either. My room is no palace but the bed is made and there’s no visible clutter. Camden becomes shy once we’re in the room and wanders over to the small window opposite my bed.
“The snow’s coming down harder.”
I stand at her back and wrap my arms around her. She relaxes against my chest and breathes out a happy sigh when I push her hair aside to kiss her neck.
“Told you it was warmer in here.”
“I don’t know.” Her head swivels and she looks up at me with a playful tilt to her lips. “I’m still a little cold.”
I run my hands over her arms and massage her shoulders. “I bet we can fix that.”
“How?”
My hand moves down her back and tugs her sweater up. “Skin to skin contact.”
Camden assists, raising her arms and allowing me to pull her sweater up until it’s over her head and then gone. The color of her bra matches her sweater and it’s beyond sexy.
She turns to face me and the sight of her soft tits spilling out of that sweet pink bra is torture. “Is this better?”
“It’s better.” With a flick of my wrist I get her jeans open. “But there’s still room for improvement.” Her jeans are loosened and it only takes a few seconds to get them down until I can see she’s wearing the same kind of blinding white panties that have been tormenting me since I saw them at the bus stop.
“I would have worn something sexier.” She winces, suddenly self-conscious as she steps out of her jeans. “If I’d known we would be-“
My mouth cuts off her words and my tongue smothers any objections. She’s the goddamn hottest thing I’ve ever touched and she should understand what she does to me. Her bra, cute as it is, needs to go, and with a few deft actions from my fingers it’s on the floor. She goes wild when I suck hard on her neck. She clutches my shoulders and arches her tits to my chest and lets my hands go everywhere.
I claim her mouth again and when she’s so turned on she can hardly stand up I fist her hair in one hand and look at her straight. I need to tell her something important.
“You are always so unbelievably fucking sexy, baby. Don’t forget that.”
With my other hand I reach between her legs and smile because even through her panties I can tell how bad she wants me.
“You feel so good,” she gasps and clenches her thighs, ready to ride my hand right here and now if I let her. But instead I drop to my knees because I’ve got a goddess in my arms and she deserves to be worshipped.
Now that I’ve got her I’m going to show some respect to the tits I’ve spent a lot of time jerking off to. I suck one and then the other, taking my time and enjoying the way she moans when I play with each nipple. I kiss her belly and gradually work my way lower. This time she doesn’t stop me. I use my tongue to tease her outside her panties. Then I nudge the soft cotton aside and lick her until she trembles and angles for more. Her left leg gets hooked on my shoulder and I get her off this way because I want her as wet as possible to make this, her first time, our first time, as good as it can be.
Meanwhile, my dick is swollen enough to bust the zipper in half and if I don’t do something soon I’m going over the edge. She’s already pulling at my belt when I get to my feet and I like watching her slender fingers get my pants undone. They’re not needed, my pants, and so I shove them down with impatience and kick them away, along with my boxers.
Camden giggles when I lift her in my arms. We don’t have to travel far. The bed is only three steps away. I’m careful about setting her down and easing my weight on top of her. All that stands in the way now are her damp panties and I fix this by sliding them over her soft legs, which open for me with ease.
I can hardly stand to wait another second and yet I take a moment to kneel between her legs and stare at her, this beautiful, brilliant girl who is definitely way better than I deserve.
And yet she wants me.
This is the first day in a long time that I feel insanely lucky.
The box of condoms in my nightstand drawer has never been cracked open and Camden watches me while I extract one and get the wrapper off. It’s not hard to roll on and I hope I’ve done it correctly. Maybe I should have practiced the technique but it’s too late to do anything about that now.
“Are you sure?” I ask her because I really need to hear it one more time before she takes this irreversible step.
She smiles and touches my face. “Yes. Are you?”
“I’ve never wanted anything more.”
This is true. And I’m right there. I could be inside her with one direct push.
Yet I hesitate.
“What’s wrong?” She’s puzzled, reflexively covering her chest with her hands as she tries to figure out why I have stopped.
Nothing is wrong. But I know for a fact that Camden is a virgin in the very physical sense of the word. And I’m not a small guy. The knowledge that this is likely to hurt her is tearing me up.
“Ben.” She reaches out and pulls me in, reading my mind. “I understand it’ll probably hurt this time. But I want this to happen now, with you.”
I brush the hair back from her face. “I’m crazy about you, Cam.”
She smiles at me.
I ease my way in, pause right at her barrier, and then with one penetrating thrust I’m deep inside of her.
Camden stiffens for a second and can’t stifle a soft cry of pain as she buries her face in my neck. My heart contracts and I soothe her with a kiss. Being inside of her is outrageously hot and the most intuitive, primal part of me demands to start moving hard and fast until I shatter.
I don’t do that.
I move slowly, carefully. I keep my weight on my elbows and let her get used to me. In a moment she relaxes, her muscles loosen, and her body begins to match my rhythm.
And holy fucking shit it feels good.
I’ve messed around enough that I thought I could understand what sex would be like. I didn’t. This is consuming. This is unreal. Maybe it’s because I’ve wanted her so badly or maybe it’s because I really do care about her. It doesn’t matter why. In this moment she’s my world.
I’m trying so hard to be gentle but instincts are winning out and I’m pushing faster, rougher, approaching the edge of oblivion.
“Ben, I want to feel you come,” she whispers in my ear and that’s the end of me.
I break into a million pieces and I curse up such an unholy storm that I can probably be heard a block away. I’m coming so fucking hard I feel like I might turn inside out and I can’t focus or breathe until I’m finished. The eruption fills the condom and I withdraw carefully before running my knuckle over her flushed cheek.
“You all right?”
She throws her arms around my neck. “I’m amazing. We should do that every day.”
I chuckle. “I’m game.”
Camden kisses me. Then she widens her eyes and covers her mouth. “I just thought of something.”
“What’s that?
“I might have committed a felony.”
“I didn’t check out the news headlines this morning. Has sex been outlawed since yesterday?”
“No, I mean I’m eighteen. You’re not. Technically I’ve just corrupted a minor.”
There’s a small trashcan beside my nightstand and I use it to discreetly dispose of the condom. Then I take the blanket that was folded at the base of my bed and gently cover her with it before climbing in beside her. “Uh, about that. Remember when I told you my birthday is in June?”
“It’s not in June?”
“It is. But I turned eighteen in June of this year. Six months ago.”
“Oh.” It’s a soft syllable, perhaps reminding her that there’s so much she doesn’t know. But then she snuggles against my chest and sighs with happiness with she feels my arms circle around her.
“Ben?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m crazy about you too.”
For a long time we stay in bed, holding each other and talking about things that don’t matter and things that do.
And today I’m very very glad to be Ben Beltran of Devil Valley.
Camden
Adela watches me fight with an unruly spool of ribbon. “Is Ben coming over tonight?”
I snip a section of ribbon and tie it around the box I’ve been wrapping with painstaking care. “Yes. Dee’s closes at six because it’s Christmas Eve. He’ll be over right after that.”
“I’m sure Bill would let you borrow the truck if you’d like to pick him up.”
“What?” My dad had been napping on the sofa with a magazine over his face but now he stirs over the mention of his name.
“It’s fine, Dad. Go back to sleep. Ben is borrowing his mom’s car. She got off work early and then went out so she let him have it.”
Adela’s voice is wistful. “He seems like a nice boy.”
I know there’s a grin on my face. “He is.”
“And you two are spending all your time together lately.”
“Yup.”
I concentrate on the gift I’m wrapping because I don’t want to look her in the eye. I might not be able to hide the blush in my cheeks as I flash back to earlier today. I said I was going Christmas shopping and instead I went to Ben’s house. His mother was working at the diner so we took advantage of the empty house to make love in his bed again and again. The day after our first time I was a little sore. I am no longer sore and I’ve quickly learned something.
I love having sex.
I really REALLY love having sex with Ben.
We can’t get enough of each other. Today I wanted to try being on top. He kept his hands on my hips and urged me to ride hard. I came three times. Nothing has ever felt so good and I can’t imagine being with anyone else.
“Cam?”
I’m still lost in my own dirty daydreams. “Hmm?”
My stepmother is casting a rather shrewd look my way. She glances at my father, who’s back to snoring on the couch. Then she lifts an eyebrow. “You are careful? You and Ben?”
I’m a little embarrassed to know that my thoughts are so plainly stamped on my face. “Of course.”
“Hey, Cam!” Frankie strolls into the room with a stack of gingerbread cookies in one hand and an envelope in the other. “Did you see this? It came with the mail today.”
“No, what is it?” I reach for the envelope and instantly recognize the familiar logo of Eagle State University.
Adela sees it too and is surprised. “ESU? You are going to apply there?”
“I already did.” I’m sure the letter will be an acceptance. ESU is a mediocre school.
“Aren’t you going to open it?”
I tear the envelope and quickly skim the letter within. “I’ve been invited to enroll. And offered a full academic scholarship.”
Frankie pushes a couple of gingerbread men into his mouth. “Cool. That’s only like an hour’s drive, right?”
“Just over an hour, yeah. Don’t eat all the cookies before tonight.”
Frankie crams another cookie into his mouth and heads down the hall toward his room.
My dad snores beneath his magazine.
Adela is quiet.
I fold the letter and return it to the envelope. The scholarship offer is great, but not unexpected.
My stepmother sinks back into the overstuffed armchair and stares at her hands. “You didn’t tell me you applied to ESU.”
She’s confused. I’ve always talked about getting far away from Devil Valley, envisioning a big city life at one of the nation’s top universities. That’s why I take the bus back and forth to Black Mountain Academy every day. She knows that I would not have needed Black Mountain credentials to attend ESU. I could have just gone to Devil Valley High.
“I should have mentioned it.”
“Did you apply there because of Ben?”
“No. I applied before I started seeing Ben.”
Her voice becomes very small. “Did you apply there because of me?”
I set the envelope down on top of the box I was wrapping, a gift for Ben. “I thought it might be a good idea if I stay close to home for college.”
Adela is unhappy. “You’ve always planned to go away. If not an Ivy League school then one of the other fine universities. It’s what you have worked for all this time.”
“I know.” My legs are still tucked under me as I sit on the floor beside the Christmas tree and I smooth the folds of my dress, the one Adela made for my birthday. “But things change.”
“Camden, my illness should not end your dreams.”
My chest begins to feel heavy. This conversation has to happen at some point. “You’re not ending my dreams. I’m just making different ones.”
A movement catches my eye and I see the ornament dangling just a few feet away, a gift to me from Adela the year she married my father. It’s a porcelain angel and her hair is the same color as mine. Her painted smile is serene. Every year I unpack it from its box with great care and hang it in a place of honor.
Adela shakes her head. “You have many options. You should think about this some more.”
I’ve thought about this more than she realizes. “I don’t need to. These last six months I started reevaluating what’s important to me. And I don’t want to be so far from my family. If I go to ESU I’ll be close enough to come home on weekends. To see Frankie’s wrestling matches sometimes and cook spaghetti for my dad now and then. And I’ll be close if…”
“If I don’t get well,” she finishes softly.
“You will get well.” I say this because I need it to be true. We all do. My throat is thick with tears and I don’t want her to see me cry. I scoot closer on my knees and lay my head in her lap. This is something a child would do and I’m no longer a child but I do it all the same because she’s my mother and I need her.
“Mom,” I whisper and she strokes my hair. I close my eyes and after a moment she begins to sing a soft lullaby. She used to sing this to Frankie when he was younger and would occasionally suffer asthma attacks. The words are all in Spanish and I don’t understand them but I do understand the song is the sound of love.
My father emerges from his nap, sits up and smiles at the sight of his wife and his daughter enjoying a tender moment. His smile grows when he hears that I’ll be attending nearby Eagle State University on a full scholarship. He doesn’t question my explanation that I don’t want to go far away after all. He rises from the couch and pulls us to our feet.
“This is shaping up to be a fabulous Christmas,” he says, wrapping us both into a hug with his strong arms.
Frankie walks in and stares at the scene. He’s got cookie crumbs on his cheek. “What’s going on?”
“Family hug.” I hold one arm out and invite him in.
Frankie treats us to an adolescent eye roll but he traipses over and I hug him around the neck whether he wants me to or not. It’s funny how you live in certain moments with the certainty that you’ll think of them often in the years to come. This is one of those moments.
Adela remembers there’s a ham in the oven and my dad offers to check on it. Tomorrow we’ll drive to Pennington to see my grandmother but for tonight’s Christmas Eve celebration it’s just us. And Ben.
I keep one eye on the clock while I finish wrapping presents, watch Elf with Frankie and then set the table in preparation for dinner. At promptly six fifteen the doorbell rings and I practically fly to the front door because I know Ben is on the other side.
My heart still flutters every time I see him and I wonder if this reaction will ever fade. I hope not. Ben gives me a smile and for the millionth time I silently marvel over how insanely gorgeous he is.
And he’s mine.
“Hey you,” he says, his grin full of mischief. He’s thinking about our earlier rendezvous in his bedroom. I’m thin
king of that too. I’m also thinking about how this is the first time I’ve ever had a boyfriend during the holidays.
The winter darkness is so much friendlier on Christmas Eve. As I step outside it seems like as much as I’ve always loved this season, I’ve never loved it as much as I do this year.
Because I’m in love. I’m in love with Ben.
“I’ve been waiting for you.” I close the door behind me because I don’t want to be on display when I step into his arms for a long, passionate kiss.
Ben doesn’t hold back. He gets one hand wound up in my hair and uses the other to circle around my waist, pinning me close so I’ll feel him, all of him; the broad warmth of his chest and the hard evidence of his desire. I answer with my tongue and by pressing my hips to his so he’ll know I want him too. I always want him. I damn near lose my head every time we kiss.
“Missed you,” he breathes into my ear.
“Want you,” I whisper back and pull at his belt for emphasis.
“You’re killing me, baby,” he groans and presses into me harder. “I’m about two seconds from going all caveman and dragging you off to the backseat of the frigging car.”
I glance at the vehicle sitting by itself at the curb in the darkness. “Speaking of your mother’s car, what’s she doing tonight?”
He exhales and rakes a hand through his hair. “You sure as hell picked an odd moment to start talking about my mother.”
“Sorry.” I giggle and slide my arms around his waist, glad that his jacket is open so I can get closer.
“My mom went out. Big date or whatever. She bought a new dress. At least she’s not seeing Dirtbag. It’s some other guy.”
I’m not sure how to respond. Ben and his mother have something of an uneven relationship. I’ve met her a few times by now and she’s always very sweet but there’s also an anxious quality about her. She obviously loves her son, is always delighted to see the two of us together and encourages me to call her Michele. When she teases Ben to behave like a gentleman he gets annoyed. I wonder if she still would have chosen to go out if Ben had no plans tonight.
I change the subject. “I wish you could come with us to Pennington tomorrow. My grandma would love to meet you and we’ll be home before dark.”