by Nikki Paris
Okay, Boss
Nikki Paris
Copyright © 2020 Nikki Paris
All rights reserved.
1
Ash
“Ashlyn, I can’t do this anymore. I’m meeting with a lawyer tomorrow. I just wanted you to know.” Maddox ran his hands through his thick, dark hair. He gave me a sad look and twisted the wedding band on his finger.
I focused on the ring and remembered sliding it onto his finger four years and three months ago. Way to be, Ash. Go down memory lane and think about your god-damn wedding while he finally and officially dumps you. I blew a lock of my blonde hair out of my eyes and turned away from Maddox. I was a big fat disappointment to him, and I could see it in his dark green eyes every time he looked at me.
I knew this was coming. The writing on the walls had been there for years. Maddox wanted kids. I couldn’t have them. Of course, we didn’t know that when we got married right out of college. We had the whole world at our fingertips back then.
“Ash?” Maddox’s voice was soft. “You know I don’t blame you. But there’s too much resentment between us. We can’t fix this. You and I both know that.”
“Yeah. I resent the way you’re talking to me right now.” I yanked open the dishwasher and began stacking plates on the countertop. These stupid plates were a wedding gift from Maddox’s grandmother. I ran my finger across the blue diamond pattern and let out a dry laugh. “I guess when we split everything up, you’ll want these, huh?” I waved a plate at my husband. “I get the coffee maker, though.”
He let out a long slow breath. “Ashlyn!”
“What?” I snapped. Maddox and my mother were the only people in the world that called me Ashlyn. I hated it. “What the actual hell do you want from me right now, Maddox? We promised forever! We promised for better or worse! And yeah, the last three years have been straight out of a horror movie, but you just gave up!” I pulled a mug from the dishwasher, but it slipped through my fingers and shattered on the floor.
“Shit!” I yelled and reached down to pick up the bigger pieces.
“Ash, don’t! You’ll cut yourself. Let me get the broom.”
“Don’t bother, Maddox. Don’t try to clean up any more of my messes or fix any more of my broken parts. It’s not your problem now.”
Maddox just shook his head, lips pressed into a thin line, and walked out of the kitchen.
This wasn’t even the worst of the fights we’d had in this kitchen. The one that shattered our marriage happened after IVF failed for the third time.
That was a year ago. After that screaming, sobbing fight, I knew that Maddox didn’t have my back. I knew we weren’t going to make it. He said he didn’t blame me, but I was the one with bad eggs. His sperm was healthy and strong. He could still walk away from this nightmare, stick his dick into a lovely fertile woman, and have the family life he’d always wanted.
Obviously, there are other ways to have a family. Maddox and I discussed surrogacy and adoption, but the truth had been staring us in the face for a long time. We didn’t want to do it together anymore. We couldn’t survive anymore struggle.
◆◆◆
I signed the last page of the divorce papers and tossed the pen across the table at Maddox. I stood to leave and said, “I hope you find a perfect woman that can give you lots of pretty babies.”
Maddox sighed and looked back and forth between our lawyers, most likely worried about what they thought of us. “Don’t say that.”
I grinned and held up my arms. “You don’t get to tell me what to do anymore. We are officially divorced.” I felt this strange weightlessness as I walked to my car. The pressure of baby-making and the weight of disappointing Maddox just lifted off my shoulders and floated away. I could have whatever I wanted now.
Only, what the hell did I want?
I had my work. In college, I’d formed a non-profit called Bright Starts with my two best friends, Aria and Elliot. We worked our asses off getting donors and sponsors for at-risk teens in the area. We believed that not all kids had an equal shot at success and that some people start the race of life miles behind others. We wanted to find those kids and give them as much of a boost as possible because life just wasn’t fair.
After three years, Aria sold out and ditched us — we still loved her —but Elliot and I kept pushing on. Bright Starts was the thing that kept me going when I discovered my infertility. It was the thing that kept me from spiraling into a world of depression and self-loathing.
It was everything.
I drove to my favorite coffee shop and went inside. Maddox always rolled his eyes when I drank too much caffeine as if my coffee addiction was the thing causing my infertility. Fuck him. I ordered the biggest, strongest coffee they had and settled into a corner booth. I pulled out my phone and texted Aria. Bitch, it’s done. I’m officially divorced. What should I do now?
Aria replied immediately. Get laid!!!!
I laughed out loud and put my phone on the table. Aria was the reason for ninety percent of the bad decisions I made in college. I wasn’t going to let her talk me into doing something stupid. I should deal with my divorce, like a mature and responsible adult.
My phone buzzed — Aria again. Ash, I’m serious. Go to a club this weekend, grab the first hot guy you see, and just fuck him until you can’t even think straight.
I rolled my eyes and typed out my response. Yeah, cause that’s healthy.
It is! You need to blow off some steam!
Are you coming with me?
Aria took several minutes to respond this time. I… can’t.
I raised my eyebrows. Aria was married, but Dante didn’t care about her going out to party. He encouraged her wild side. I texted back. Why the hell not?
Suddenly my phone rang. It was Aria. “Hey, what’s up?” I answered.
Aria sighed into the phone. “I have some news, and I didn’t want to text it to you.”
“Okay…”
“I’m, um… I’m pregnant. I just found out about a week ago, and…”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I’d come to terms with the fact that I’d never give birth to my own baby. I accepted it as a part of my life. The part that stung was that one of my best friends felt like she couldn’t tell me about her pregnancy. I took a deep breath and said, “Aria! That is so great! I am so happy for you!”
“You are?” The worry in her voice was as clear as day.
“Of course!” I gushed. “You and Dante are going to be the cutest, best parents in the world!”
“Ash,” Aria’s voice was quiet, “It’s okay if it’s not okay.”
We always said that to each other. Aria and I never bullshitted. We said what we thought, and that was why our friendship had survived so many years. I sighed. “Aria, I can be happy for you and sad for me at the same time. I can be thrilled that your life is beautiful right now, because I love you, and I can be pissed that my life is a train wreck.”
“Your life isn’t a train wreck!” Aria was getting all fired up now. “Maddox sucked! You know I always thought you settled. Now you have the chance to rebuild something awesome! That’s not a train wreck. It’s an opportunity. I’m serious, girl, go get laid to clear your head, and start building the life you want.”
“I love you, best bitch.”
“Love you more. Ash, I’m serious. Make a bad decision and go have a one-night stand.”
I laughed out loud. “I don’t even know how to do that!”
Aria groaned. “I forget that I used to have to force you to do anything crazy. Okay, go shopping, get a sexy outfit, and some ridiculous high heels. Next, go to a club, pick any guy you want, because you can get any guy you want, and say, ‘You wanna get out of here?’ Then take him back to your place and—”
“Please don’t give me instructions on how to have sex.”
Aria laughed. “Fine. Just promise me you’ll do it.”
“I’ll do it!”
“Good. Bye, love.”
“Bye.” I ended the call and rested my chin in my hands. I wasn’t going to do it. Was I?
I drank my coffee and scrolled through the photos on my phone. There weren’t any photos of Maddox and me from the last few months, but as I scrolled further, I found them. I deleted photo after photo, cathartically scrubbing his memory from my phone.
When I was sure I’d gotten them all, I stopped on the photo of Aria, Elliot, and me the day we rented our office space. We’d been working a couple of years before we raised enough to rent a space and pay ourselves a pathetic salary. I smiled at the sheer joy and excitement on our faces.
Elliot stood a head taller than me and at least a foot taller than Aria. He was a huge black dude who was tough enough to lift a car, but he was soft enough to feed kids in poverty. He had his big arms draped over our shoulders, and we all smiled ear to ear. Aria’s dark hair was chopped short, close to her chin, and she had long, shaggy bangs in this picture.
I laughed when I remembered her standing on my front porch with wide eyes and a nightmare of a haircut. “Ash. I was drunk last night and trying to flirt with Dante. Things got out of hand, and I told him to cut my hair!” I’d burst out laughing and brought her inside to help her fix the hack job.
Three weeks later, she and Dante were hot and heavy and wildly in love. They hadn’t slowed down since.
Elliot met Maliya shortly after and spent the next year with stars in his eyes. Then their first daughter was born, and the stars just burned brighter.
And here I was.
Maddox and I had never been hot and crazy like Aria and Dante. We’d never adored and worshipped each other like Elliot and Maliya. We thought my friends were ridiculous sometimes. We were more realistic in our love.
But what was love without passion? Maybe not love at all.
2
Ash
I tugged at my short sequined skirt, trying to make it a little longer. This was a terrible idea. There were too many people, and the music was too loud. Aria was crazy, and I couldn't believe I'd listened to her.
I turned and started to walk back out, then changed my mind. No. I was allowed to have one idiotic, crazy night. I was going to get drunk and take a hot guy home. Wasn't that the benefit of being divorced?
I headed to the bar, sank onto an empty stool, and ordered a mojito. The busy bartender slid my drink toward me, and I picked up the cold glass to take a sip. The sweet tastes of rum, lime, and mint danced on my tongue and warmed my throat.
I set my glass down and glanced around the club, searching for my target. A group of guys laughed together at a table to my left. They were nothing special, but any of them would do. Another man gave me "the look" from across the room. No. He looked too much like Nicholas Cage. Ew.
The guy that had just sat down next to me at the bar, on the other hand, was every girl's fantasy. His short, dark hair was all sexy and artfully tousled. His black t-shirt hugged his drool-worthy chest and arms. There was most definitely a six-pack under there. He had full, kissable lips and sexy, effortless stubble that said, "I'm a gentleman but a little rough if that's what you like."
He turned and glanced at me. Shit. Had he seen me staring? I took a drink and turned my gaze to the other side of the room. That dude was way too hot for me. I didn't have the nerve to hit on him.
I tried to pretend I couldn't feel the buzz of an undeniable attraction with the handsome stranger. I was sure it was one-sided. I continued to scan the room, painfully aware of every movement the hot as hell guy made.
Then I spotted Taz, Maddox's best friend. He locked eyes with me and waved. Taz stood and headed toward me. "Shit!" I said, under my breath. He was going to tell Maddox he'd seen me at a club. He was going to tell my ex-husband all about the desperate way I was sitting, completely alone. Taz would tell Maddox that I looked crushed, and then Maddox would call to check on me, because, you know, "I still care about you, Ash." Talking to him would probably send me spiraling into second-guessing my entire life. It would make me feel small because Maddox always made me feel small.
That couldn't happen. I wouldn't let it. In a crazy surge of desperate courage, I turned to the hot guy next to me and said, "Would you do me a huge favor and just make out with me right now?"
He raised both eyebrows and then flashed me a wicked grin. "Absolutely." He leaned over and cupped my face with one hand, pressing his perfect lips against mine. His other hand slid down my back and rested on my hip. He pulled away too soon. "Like that?" He asked, gazing right into my soul with his irresistible blue eyes.
I glanced over my shoulder. Hot Guy's hand was still gripping my hip, sending fire through my veins. I didn't know if Taz had seen the kiss, so I turned back to the guy and said, "More."
He grinned and pulled me gently to a standing position while he remained seated. "We making somebody jealous, beautiful?"
He just called me beautiful. Holy shit. "Yeah."
"Permission to grab your ass?"
My breath caught in my chest. "Granted."
He pulled me flush against his body so that I stood between his legs. I slid my arms around his neck and bent to kiss his slightly parted lips. He worked my mouth like a magician, and suddenly his tongue was teasing my lips. He cupped my ass with both strong hands and gave it a gentle squeeze.
I may have moaned. I hoped he hadn't heard it over the loud music, but the way his hands gripped my backside even tighter told me that he had. Suddenly his tongue was deep inside my mouth. It made my heart race, and it made me wonder what other kinds of magic he could work with that tongue. Was this really happening?
He broke the kiss and slid his hands back up to my waist. "Damn. He's gotta be jealous now." His eyes glanced over my shoulder. "Is that guy your ex?"
I followed his line of vision and spotted Taz several yards away, watching me with raised eyebrows. I waved and smiled, keeping one hand on Hot Guy's shoulder. "That is my ex's best friend."
Hot Guy pulled me down to sit on his lap. "So he'll tell your ex all about this?" He kissed my neck and slid his hands up and down my thighs. Fuck me.
I was embarrassingly breathless when I said, "I hope so."
Hot Guy nibbled at my ear and said, in a low, sexy voice, "Let's give him a good story to tell then." He stood and flipped me around to face him. He was at least six inches taller than me, even though I was wearing heels. He gave me a look that sent chills rushing down my spine, then he buried his hands in my hair and gave me the hottest, slowest, deepest kiss of my life.
"Do you want your ex's friend to see you leaving here with a guy?" His lips grazed my neck and collarbone.
My heart rammed against my ribcage. "That would be a nice touch," I said.
He grinned at me and placed his hand on the small of my back. "My place or yours?"
"I…" I faltered. Was he serious, or was he just playing along? Would we get outside the club and then part ways? Did I want that? No. I wanted his tongue on my… Whoa, Ash. Calm down, girl.
He laughed out loud. "Right. We don't even know each other's names. I'm Camden."
I bit my lip and smiled. "Ash."
Taz leaned against the bar now, sipping a beer. His eyes were still trained on me.
Camden grinned at me and led me toward the exit, stopping when we were within Taz's earshot. "Baby," he said, "I am so fucking hard for you right now. I don't think we're even going to make it back to your place. I might just have to fuck you in the back seat again."
Taz choked on his drink. "Ash!" He called out. "How's it going?"
"Hey, Taz!" I pasted on a fake smile and pressed myself into Camden, who stood behind me. Oh, damn. He was rock hard, and he wasn't shy about it. Camden pressed his erection against my ass. I fought to find coherent words. "It's going great! We were just about to head
out, but good to see you! Tell Maddox 'hi' for me!"
Camden wrapped both arms around me and kissed my neck. "Baby!" I laughed and let him lead me out of the club, flashing Taz one more fake smile.
When the fresh night air hit us, I let out a deep breath. I glanced over at Camden, who watched me with a smile. "Thank you," I said, "for saving my pride in there."
"Ash, thank you. It's every guy's dream to have the hottest woman in the bar walk up and start making out with him." Camden laughed.
I laughed. "The hottest woman in the bar? You're funny."
"What?" Camden grinned and slid his arms around my waist.
My heart raced out of control. I bit my lip and asked, "Were you serious about hooking up tonight?"
He laughed and rubbed his jaw. "Yeah, Ash. You're hot as fuck, and I really do have a boner for you."
"I…" I let out another deep breath. I almost admitted that I'd never done this before. "Okay, let's do it." I grabbed his hand and led him to my car. This was what I came here to do tonight, and I was leaving with a guy ten times hotter than I imagined I would find.
"Are you good to drive?" He asked.
"Yeah. I didn't even finish my drink." The buzz I felt was all from him. I glanced over at Camden. He seemed like a decent guy, but sleeping with a stranger was risky, right? Obviously, there were STI's to worry about, sexual assault, or the fact that he could be a serial killer.
At least we didn't have to be concerned with an unplanned pregnancy. Ugh.
I drove us to my new apartment — Maddox and I had already sold our house — and tried to convince myself that fucking a stranger was fine. Lots of people did this every day.
Once inside, my nerves kicked up ten notches. I had the hottest guy I'd ever seen in my life inside my brand new apartment. He was about to be inside my body! I hadn't had non-baby-related sex for years. This was weird. This was wrong.
I was about to call the whole thing off when he pushed me up against the wall, his lips hot on my neck. It felt so unreasonably incredible. I moaned for the second time that night.