“I asked why you’re leaving him?” Wyatt repeated.
“What do you mean?” Sawyer queried, wondering why this stranger was butting into his business.
“Look, man, you said, ‘Ford my perfect gift’.” Wyatt took his eyes off the road for a moment and met Sawyer’s. “So I asked why you’re leaving?”
“Oh,” Sawyer felt heat in his cheeks. “I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud.”
“I’m beginning to see that,” Wyatt said wryly. “Still, why are you leaving if you feel the way I assume you do?”
“It’s too soon and I have to be back in New York,” Sawyer replied, although it felt more like he was trying to convince himself.
The man beside him must have been psychic or something, because Wyatt asked, “Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?”
“Well, it’s been like two days,” Sawyer replied.
“First things first, that wasn’t an answer and according to what Ford said, you’re his boss, correct? So, I assume you’ve been working together for a while. Let’s assume you don’t believe in love at first sight,” Wyatt glanced at him and Sawyer realized he was looking for a reply.
“Right,” Sawyer replied.
“Okay, so you don’t believe in love at first sight. But is it really love at first sight when you’ve spent hours with the person over…” Wyatt looked at him to fill in the blank.
“Five months,” Sawyer replied.
“Okay, five months… are you sure Ford hasn’t been getting under your skin in that time? How are you sure that this past two days wasn’t just the two of you finally accepting what’s been happening? Maybe the snowstorm and the two of you trapped together was the universe’s way of helping both of you put away the boss, employee shield you had up?” Wyatt asked.
“Uhh…” Sawyer stammered, not sure what to say. He hadn’t really thought about it that way.
“You don’t have to give me an answer, but I’m telling you if you let the person you want leave without telling them that you want them, as time passes, you could miss your moment,” Wyatt said with feeling.
“Speaking from experience?” Sawyer asked.
“Something like that.” Wyatt glanced at Sawyer for a split second before he replied, this time without humor, and Sawyer caught the brief flash of regret in his eyes. “Sometimes you miss your moment, and sometimes you don’t realize until it’s too late that you even had a moment.”
The car filled with a heavy silence as they both seemed lost in thought, until Sawyer blurted, “He said he didn’t want me to go.”
“So, why are you leaving? Do you have family waiting in New York? Or are you leaving because you think you should?”
“Both… I mean neither,” Sawyer replied.
Wyatt snorted. “Which is it, dude?”
“Did you just say dude? Are we like frat bros now?” Sawyer mocked.
“Avoiding, I get it,” Wyatt replied, making Sawyer sigh.
“I mean, I have a friend in New York and he did invite me to spend Christmas with his family, but the farm, Ford, Barb, Doug, they feels more like family than people I’ve known for sixteen or so years,” Sawyer admitted. “What if it’s too late? What if me leaving makes him think I didn’t want him enough to stay?” Sawyer said out loud.
“I’ve known Ford since he was a kid. He’s friends with my younger brother, Ryan, and trust me, Ford was the most grown up kid I’d ever met. He won’t think that,” Wyatt said.
There was a little flash of jealousy at Wyatt for knowing more about Ford than he did, until he reminded himself that there was no reason for it, because it was him Ford wanted. And just saying that to himself put everything in perspective. Ford wanted him and Sawyer wanted Ford and not just for now. He wanted forever with Ford. It was probably foolish to think it, but it was true. He’d never wanted forever with anyone before. Until now.
Ford made him feel whole. He made Sawyer feel like he wasn’t alone and that was a first. He’d felt like he was alone for so long, no matter how many people were around him. He’d felt like he was the last man on an island, barricaded alone, but somehow Ford had scaled whatever obstacles or walls that kept everyone away and he made Sawyer feel like there was someone beside him.
“I need to go back,” Sawyer blurted. “Now. I have to go back now and tell him.”
“Tell him what,” Wyatt asked.
“Tell him I’m done running. Tell him that if I go anywhere from now on, I want him beside me. Tell him that he’s the one gift I never imagined getting, but the best thing I ever received.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing I made a turn and have been heading back to Amber Falls for the last,” Wyatt glanced at the time on the dash, “oh, seventeen minutes.”
“What? You have? What if you were wrong?” Sawyer asked, glancing at the smug-looking man in the driver’s seat.
“Well I wasn’t… that’s all that matters,” Wyatt replied smugly, with a grin on his perfect face.
Sawyer realized the fact he wasn’t even attracted to Wyatt even though he looked like Theo James, should have been the perfect indication of how he felt about Ford. Usually, he would be trying to get into Wyatt’s pants. The man had leading man good looks and his body would make a Calvin Klein model jealous, but Sawyer wasn’t interested. Not even a little.
“How long?” Sawyer asked impatiently. Now that he knew he was going to see Ford again in the next few minutes he was impatient.
All he could think about was getting Ford back in his arms again. Holding him. Kissing him. Telling him that even if he left again, he would always come back, because Ford, and Amber Falls, felt more like home than anywhere else he’d been since he lost his mother.
Mark would have to be fine with Sawyer running his part of the company from Colorado. And if he needed to travel, Ford could come with him. He would love to share the world with Ford.
18
Ford
Ford felt sick. He’d stood at the window and watched Wyatt’s car drive away until he couldn’t see it anymore, and all he could think was, he should have begged Sawyer not to leave. But, how could he when this thing between them was just starting?
They barely had a foundation. How could they build something solid without one?
His parents tried talking to him, but he wasn’t in the mood, and the more they said Sawyer would come back, the angrier he became. Ford didn’t want him to leave. And wasn’t that just selfish? Sawyer had people in New York he’d known longer, and they were probably his family. More than Ford was.
What if Sawyer came back and realized Amber Falls wasn’t enough for him? You mean what if he comes back and you’re not enough for him?
Sawyer wasn’t sure he could go back to calling him Mr. Lancaster, after everything they’d shared. An image of Sawyer with one of the beautiful people he usually got photographed with appeared in his mind and Ford flinched. He actually flinched at the thought of opening a magazine and seeing his Sawyer, with some woman, or maybe worse, some man all over him.
Did that mean he was falling, or already in love with Sawyer?
That inner melting sensation Ford felt could be lust, but the fact that his heart gave a jolt in his chest every time Ford so much as thought about Sawyer, led him to conclude it was way more than that. Something Ford was sure he had never felt for any of the boys he had dated casually while at college.
Probably, because they had been boys and Sawyer was so obviously a man.
Sometime over the past two days, or maybe even longer, he’d fallen in love. He’d fallen hard. And now, Ford wasn’t even sure if he should cry. Because he didn’t know what he was crying for. So, he simply curled up under his duvet and hoped for sleep. Maybe when he woke up everything wouldn’t seem so bleak.
What if Sawyer had asked him to go with him… would he have gone? That was the thought playing over and over in his head while he prayed for sleep. But even with how he was feeling, sleep eluded him. While he was cursing himself, Ford h
eard the door open and close. He didn’t bother to come out from under his duvet.
He figured it was his mom or his dad coming to check on him. So, he was surprised when the duvet on the empty side of the bed was lifted and someone started to get into his bed. “Mom, I think I’m too old for cuddles just because I’m sad,” Ford said, a small smile creeping into his voice at the thought of his mom thinking he needed cuddles because Sawyer was gone.
“I hope not, I would love to hold you whenever you’re sad.”
Ford knew that voice, but it couldn’t be... Sawyer had left. Maybe this was a dream. Maybe he’d fallen asleep and was dreaming of Sawyer in bed with him.
“I know you’re not here and this is a dream, but I don’t care. I missed you,” Ford said to Dream Sawyer.
“But I am here,” Dream Sawyer replied.
“No, you’re not, but I’ll take what I can get,” Ford whispered.
“Ford, you do know you’re not asleep, right?”
Ford reached out to touch Dream Sawyer’s cheek and he actually felt the stubble he expected to feel if it was really Sawyer.
“I’m going crazy,” Ford said, and shut his eyes tight. “But I so don’t care, because this is about to be the best dream ever.”
Ford moved his free hand lower until he was cupping Dream Sawyer’s junk through his jeans.
“As much as I’d like to see how this plays out…” the voice that made him shiver when he heard it said. “Ford, baby, open your eyes. I’m really here and this is definitely not a dream, although, we will have to revisit how you thought this would go, because I’m very up for that. Pun intended.” Ford felt a hand over his where he had it over Sawyer’s crotch, making him squeal louder than he should be able to. He turned around in bed, feeling for his lamp.
Ford sat up quickly and turned his bedside lamp on, he said a quick prayer before saying, “Promise you’ll be there when I turn around.”
“Well, you’ll have to turn around and see, won’t you,” Sawyer said chuckling.
Ford didn’t even think about it. He launched himself at Sawyer’s side of the bed, making Sawyer laugh louder and wrap his arms around Ford. It was a miracle they didn’t both tumble out of bed with the momentum Ford used to go at Sawyer.
“You’re here,” Ford gushed, touching Sawyer’s face like he was trying to convince himself. “How are you here?” Ford gazed at Sawyer and couldn’t help the joy that filled every part of his body, he felt like he would burst with it. Sawyer was about to reply, but Ford interrupted before he even got a word out. “I don’t even care. I’m so happy you’re here, but how are you here?”
Ford lowered his lips to Sawyer’s, needing to taste them to be sure he was really there, and it wasn’t just Ford having a very vivid dream. This was Sawyer, the man he loved with all his heart, and he was back. Ford bubbled with joy.
Sawyer broke their kiss, even though Ford could tell it cost him, and with him lying on top of Sawyer, Ford shivered at the feel of how much he affected Sawyer.
“I had to come back for you,” Sawyer said simply, his gaze never leaving Ford’s face.
“You didn’t ask me to come with you,” Ford whispered, sounding awed beyond belief.
“You don’t need to come. I didn’t come back to take you with me. I came back to be here, with you,” Sawyer replied.
“What?”
“I came back, because the thought of leaving you made me feel like I’d left a part of myself behind, because I love you. Because when it came down to it, I couldn’t leave.”
“What? What did you say?” Ford asked, awed. “You love me? How can you love me? We barely know each other.”
“We know each other,” Sawyer said simply, before placing a sweet soft kiss on Ford’s lips. “I know that you’re twenty-three years old,’ Sawyer continued determinedly. “That you love your parents with all your heart and they feel the same about you. That you graduated from the University of Denver, with a double major in hospitality management and business, which I think is really impressive. I know you’re an amazing person, who cares about people and is considerate and kind to every person he meets,” Sawyer added appreciatively. “I know you didn’t have a current boyfriend, or lover. Until now.” Sawyer smiled brightly as he looked at Ford. “I know you are one of the most beautiful men I have ever met, and you don’t even realize it, which makes you ten times hotter. I also know you have the most amazingly soft and kissable lips.” Sawyer’s voice had lowered huskily, seductively. “I know that your body responds so beautifully to me and that your nipples are extremely sensitive to my touch.”
Ford couldn’t stop the way his body shivered at the words coming out of Sawyer’s mouth. “I have a current boyfriend now, do I?” Ford teased.
“I knew you’d see it my way,” Sawyer replied smugly.
“Well, so do you,” Ford replied.
“I believe that is how it works,” Sawyer replied blandly, before a grin spread across his face.
“I didn’t realize you knew so much about me,” Ford said, a little in awe.
“I don’t, not as much as I’d like. That’s nothing, baby. I want to know everything, but I figure we have plenty of time to fill in the other details,” Sawyer added huskily.
“I love you too,” Ford whispered, “I know it’s crazy and probably too soon, but I don’t care.”
Sawyer was right, they had time to learn more about each other, but he already knew a lot about Sawyer. Ford knew that he was thirty-four years old. That his mother had died suddenly around Christmas sixteen years ago, and Sawyer had never known who his dad was.
Ford also knew he was a self-made millionaire who probably hadn’t had a significant relationship, probably because of the loss of his mom, and never knowing his dad. Ford would bet that was why Sawyer had run from any form of emotional commitment so far.
Ford also knew that Sawyer was, without a doubt, the most attractive man he had ever met in his life. That he had the most amazingly soft and sensuous lips. That the hardness of his arousal—a direct response to Ford’s proximity, he hoped––was pressed against him.
“I do love you,” Ford said seriously, and he felt Sawyer’s body relax further, like hearing Ford say it had him settling.
19
Sawyer
Sawyer felt like things were falling into place. He’d never realized how off kilter his life was until now. He couldn’t waste another moment. Having Ford in his arms right now, finally, everything that had felt out of place settled.
He knew it was probably fifty shades of crazy, but he didn’t care. He hadn’t felt this sure of anything in his personal life, ever.
“I can move here,” Sawyer blurted and Ford froze.
“Here?” Ford asked, and Sawyer would have had to have been deaf to miss the surprise in his tone.
“Don’t sound so surprised, it’s not impossible.”
“I think we should sit up and talk,” Ford replied, and tried to move from his position on top of Sawyer, but he didn’t let Ford go.
“I can set up my base here. We can buy some land around here and build a place for ourselves. You already have a degree in hospitality, I bet you could make this resort amazing. Not that you haven’t been doing that already. I want you there every step of the way. We could travel whenever I have to work outside Amber Falls, or I could hire someone to do all that. Especially if we decided to maybe have kids.”
“You want to have kids… with me? You want to have kids with me?” Ford interrupted him, asking, awe in his voice.
“Not immediately, but one day, yes. I want everything with you. And I know Barb and Doug would be the best grandparents a kid could ever ask for. Not like mine who didn’t want me because my mother got pregnant with no man in sight. I know it’s a lot and we’ll take a while to figure it out. But I know we can, if we want to. If you want to.”
Ford moved back and looked at him for a long moment, as if searching his face. And, whatever he was looking for, he must have found
it. Because Sawyer didn’t even have to wait for an answer, the kisses Ford placed all over his face before getting to Sawyer’s lips, made Sawyer feel like he’d conquered the world.
Ford stopped kissing him long enough to reply, “I think if we are going to have kids, you’re going to have to hire someone, because I would hate to leave them for months on end if we have to travel. When they’re younger we can probably take them with us, but once they start school I don’t want to be gone a lot.”
“I agree,” Sawyer whispered against Ford’s lips, trying to get back to the kissing, but Ford was too excited.
“How many kids would you like?” Ford asked.
“I haven’t thought about it, maybe two, a little girl with your beautiful blue eyes and your dimples when you smile.”
“And a little boy with your dark, almost black hair and smoky grey eyes,” Ford finished wistfully.
There wasn’t a part of those words that Sawyer hated. Hell, he wanted it all with Ford.
“I want all of that with you, baby,” Sawyer whispered.
“Me too,” Ford replied, staring into his eyes.
“All I want is to come home to you at the end of every day for the rest of my life.”
“Not this bed, though,” Ford replied teasing.
“I don’t think your parents would mind, but no, not this bed. One that’s ours. Maybe your parents will turn your room into one for our kids,” Sawyer said, and he could imagine Doug and Barb doing just that.
“Is this where I say I do?” Ford asked and Sawyer could feel his body vibrating with joy.
“Maybe this time next year?” Sawyer suggested, making Ford choke.
“I was joking,” Ford replied in an awe filled tone.
“I wasn’t,” Sawyer replied.
“To next year then,” Ford said.
“How about to forever,” Sawyer said. “But before that, can we go back to what Dream Ford wanted to do to Dream Sawyer?” Sawyer added before taking his lover’s lips in his and reversing their positions, so he was on top.
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