by Anna Jacobs
That thought made her glance quickly at Luke as he turned in to their drive and waited for the garage door to finish rolling up. Did she dare stay here and face up to Martin?
‘Don’t,’ Luke said, as if he could read her mind.
‘Don’t what?’
‘Don’t run away. You aren’t alone this time. And I’m not penniless. I’ll find help for you and pay for it.’
She closed her eyes, then opened them and the thought of what a lifetime of running and hiding would do to her daughter made her nod. ‘All right. I won’t run away this time. If you’ll help us. I’m doing this for Gabby’s sake.’
And at that moment it literally felt as if a load she’d been carrying on her shoulders for a long time had suddenly been lightened.
‘Good,’ he said. ‘It’s the right thing to do. She deserves a more normal life.’
She heard Dee’s intake of breath from the back, but there was no sound from Gabby, and when she looked round, her daughter was asleep, her head on Dee’s lap. It was probably better that she hadn’t heard this conversation.
Dee gave her a long, serious stare, looking grown up, as teenagers sometimes can. ‘Those people we met know your husband quite well, don’t they? And they were obviously on his side.’
‘Yes. They’re long-time friends of his, especially Darren. They live near him.’
‘I’m glad you’re not going to leave. It’s fun having a little sister, even if she is only a pretend one. I hope you don’t mind?’
‘Mind? I think it’s wonderful.’
‘Oh, good. I don’t want to lose Gabby. She’s such fun to be with.’
That remark seemed to set a seal of approval on Claire’s decision. You not only couldn’t let your child live in fear, you couldn’t deny her important friendships like this one.
Luke’s promise of support would make a huge difference, she was sure. Not just because of the money but because he was like a rock of sanity in a sea of craziness and muddles. Did she dare trust him, lean upon him?
She shivered, remembering what Martin had threatened in the months before she left: if she ever tried to leave him, he would take her daughter away from her for good. He’d made the same threat a few times, always with that confident smile on his face.
His threats had stayed with her, terrifying her as they were meant to do, because in all the time she’d known him, he’d never threatened what he couldn’t carry out, never failed to achieve whatever it was sooner or later.
She wasn’t going to let him take Gabby, whatever she had to do to keep her daughter safe. Gabby had been afraid of him towards the end. As had Claire.
What she didn’t understand was why he wanted Gabby so badly. He’d had little to do with the practicalities of bringing up a lively young child, seemed to think you could switch a daughter on and off like a television set.
What had made him like this? His parents were decent people, but he was bad now, and getting worse.
The memory of that burnt-out car made her shiver every time she thought of it.
How different Luke was – how wonderfully kind!
When the garage door had rolled down and clunked into place, Dee woke Gabby and walked with her to the house door. ‘Why don’t you go up and fetch Helly from the kitchen, then you and I will let her out?’
As the child ran happily up the stairs, calling for the dog, Dee remained in the doorway, saying quietly, ‘Don’t leave us, Claire. Whatever it takes. Things are better for all of us with you two here. Dad, don’t let her and Gabby go away.’ Then she went down the few steps to unbolt the door into the back garden and wait for the younger child and dog to come down from the kitchen.
Luke exchanged rather surprised glances with Claire. ‘She’s so grown-up sometimes.’
‘She’s a wonderful kid. I think she’s been lonely too. I don’t know your ex, but it sounds to me as if Dee has been rather neglected in the ways that matter most. She’s well dressed but maybe not well loved.’
‘I think so, too, now that I’ve got to know her. I didn’t realise how bad things were or I’d have tried to do something about it sooner. And Dee is right: don’t leave us, Claire. Please. We all seem better for being together.’
He gave her a quick, cheeky grin as he added, ‘In fact I think you and Gabby are the best Christmas present we could have.’
She couldn’t help sharing a smile with him, but tried to make him realise what it was like. ‘I don’t want to go, truly I don’t. But Martin will come after us, and I’d never forgive myself if you and Dee got hurt, especially her.’
‘I don’t want that to happen, either. But you should take on board that I too can be persistent when I want something. Trust me on that. If we plan carefully how to deal with your ex, which includes consulting the best lawyers I can find, and upgrading security here, I’m sure we’ll find a safe way through these difficulties for you.’
Gabby came clattering down the stairs with Helly just then, and when she and Dee had gone outside, Claire murmured, ‘I keep being surprised at how like real sisters they are.’
‘So do I. It’s doing Dee a world of good and I always wanted other children.’ When they went up to the kitchen, he went down to the rear window of the basement to keep an eye on them and the dog, and not until the trio had gone back upstairs did they resume their serious talk.
‘Before we join them, tell me more about what Martin’s like, anything that might help.’
‘Whatever he’s doing, he’s very focused. He only seems to see the world in terms of his own needs and he’s not good with people. He wanted a wife and family, so he courted me and we got married. I knew he wasn’t good with words or romantic gestures, but he fooled me into believing he loved me. Now, for some weird reason, he’s fixated on bringing Gabby up himself, keeps using the word “properly”.’
‘Because you’ve disappointed him, not lived up to unrealistic expectations, perhaps pushed your own ideas in the way of his life plans?’
‘Yes, I think that’s a good analysis. I hesitated to leave him, for Gabby’s sake, because he really did seem to care for her. But he became so authoritarian that eventually I decided she needed more freedom and fewer restrictions: in other words, a normal life.’
‘I presume you’d tried to make him see reason about her needs?’
‘I talked myself hoarse, even suggested we get counselling. He was furious at that. I don’t understand what made him change so much.’
‘People do change when they’re mentally ill.’
‘I know. I worked that out, read about it online. But his mental health must have got far worse since we left for him to have set my car on fire, don’t you think?’
‘Yes. I agree.’ Luke glanced upstairs. ‘I think we’d better go and spend time with our children now. Maybe we could talk it through and start making more detailed plans for protecting you both after they go to bed. One thing I’m determined about: we’re not going to let this spoil their decorating party. We can be pretty sure your ex won’t arrive here this afternoon.’
‘No.’
‘So we’ll make a start by putting up the tree, but only after we’ve put all the food we’ve bought away and had a late lunch. I’m hungry even if you aren’t.’
She nodded and went up to join their daughters.
She couldn’t eat much, though, because the anxiety about Martin was back, shivering in her belly. And she could see that Luke had noticed.
But he said nothing and the girls were chattering on about Christmas decorations, so she gradually managed to push her worries aside temporarily and join in.
Thank goodness for Christmas! Who’d have thought? Last year had been lonely, but this year was full of promise.
Chapter Fourteen
Luke watched his three companions covertly while he ate lunch and chatted to them. Claire must be more terrified of her ex than he’d realised because she’d gone very quiet and thoughtful. He was worried, feeling that if she ran away again, she’d ne
ver stop running. And what sort of life was that for her and Gabby?
Or for him and Dee without them?
After they’d eaten, he wanted to speak to his daughter privately, so took charge of arrangements for the afternoon. ‘Claire made the lunch, so Dee and I will clear up the kitchen. Gabby, will you please help your mother to unpack the decorations in the sitting room? If you remove the price tags and packaging, we’ll be ready to start putting up the tree once we’ve cleared up here.’
‘What fun! Yes.’ Gabby found the kitchen scissors and brandished them triumphantly at her mother. ‘Come on. There are a lot of things to unpack.’
Claire shot him a rueful glance over her shoulder as she was literally dragged away by her daughter.
When Dee was alone with him in the kitchen she said abruptly, ‘They’re frightened underneath it all, Dad. Both of them.’
‘Yes. I could see that.’
‘What should I do to help them?’
‘The best thing you can do is carry on as you are, playing the big sister to Gabby. You’re brilliant with her.’
‘Oh. Do you really think so?’ She blushed, something that didn’t often happen.
He had to warn her, though. ‘From now on, though, you should always stay close to her and keep an eye on your surroundings, for both your sakes. That father of hers sounds to be relentless.’
‘He must be a nasty sort of person if he doesn’t get on with Claire. She’s really nice, isn’t she? Doesn’t talk down to me, or treat me like an idiot child.’
Who had been doing that to her? he wondered. ‘Yes. She’s very nice. After you and I have finished here, I need to talk to her on her own, if you don’t mind. Can you keep Gabby occupied with putting up decorations in your rooms, then we’ll all do the tree together? Tomorrow I shall look for a good lawyer and perhaps someone to help me protect them.’
‘It’s Sunday tomorrow, Dad. Will lawyers’ offices be open?’
‘Oh, damn! I’d forgotten that for the moment. But I do know one man who might help me find a bodyguard till we can work out how we stand legally.’
The last word made her gape at him. ‘Bodyguard? Are things that bad, do you think? Will that man actually attack them, Dad?’
‘He might if they don’t do as he tells them, especially Claire. He sounds – mentally unbalanced. I’ll try to help them if there’s a problem, but I’m not the world’s most experienced fighter.’ He spread his arms wide in a helpless shrug. ‘I don’t think I’ve got the killer instinct, which is why I’m thinking of hiring someone more experienced. Better to be too careful than find ourselves in trouble, don’t you think?’
She nodded thoughtfully and continued to put things away. He waited for her to speak again.
‘Um, I wanted to ask you about something else, Dad.’
‘Go ahead. Ask anything you like.’
‘Can I – would you let me live with you from now on?’
That had come out of left field and it left him gobsmacked. For a moment he could only stare at her. He’d been treading carefully, working his way up to asking the same thing delicately, terrified of rejection.
She swung away from him. ‘Only if you want me.’ Her voice had come out harshly.
He threw the tea towel on the table and grabbed her, pulling her towards him and holding her close. ‘If I want you? I’ve always wanted you. Always. Only, Angie made it difficult for me even to see you. There was frequently some reason for me not to visit when it was scheduled.’
‘She used to tell me—’ Dee gulped and clung to him, sounding tearful, ‘that you were too busy, didn’t want to come and see me. But as I got older I could tell she was being awkward about it on purpose, and I got to know how she looked when she was lying to me. I wasn’t sure what you really wanted, though.’
‘I wanted to be your father, preferably a full-time father. I kept myself busy because I missed you so much. But the money I made didn’t make up for losing so much of your childhood.’
He put both hands on her shoulders and held her at arm’s length so that he could look her straight in the eyes. She must have no doubt that he meant this.
‘Dee, my darling daughter, I can’t think of anything I’d like better than to have you living with me permanently. But will your mother let you do that without making a fuss? She was the one who was awarded custody, after all. And as we both know, she likes to get her own way.’
‘Does she ever! She’ll be with this new person for a while, so she won’t care about me. But if it’s like the other people she’s got together with, after a year or so they’ll start to quarrel, then split up and she’ll turn back to me. It fooled me for a while when I was younger. I thought she wanted me more than them. But the last couple of times, I knew she was only fussing over me because she had no one else to fuss over. She didn’t really care about what I wanted, only what she wanted. She really hates to be alone, even for an evening.’
She hesitated, then added, ‘I’ve been reading about it online, and it sounds as if the courts take more notice of what older children want about who gets custody.’
‘I’ve heard that too. We’ll see my lawyer about you living with me as soon as we can get an appointment, as well as finding out about helping to protect Claire.’
When she didn’t speak, he couldn’t help adding, ‘If you’re really sure?’
Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. ‘I am sure, Dad. You’ve been treading on eggs with me since I got here, and I’ve been a bit wary, watching you, trying to work out how you felt. But lately I’ve started to believe that you really do care about me. You were right to go slowly, not press me. It takes time to get to know someone.’
He let out his breath in a whoosh. ‘I’m glad, so very glad. I do my best.’
‘And since you rescued Claire and Gabby, I’ve seen how you’ve helped them as well. How can I not trust you when you’re so kind to everyone?’ She gulped back a sob and tears began to run down her cheeks. ‘I don’t know you very well yet, and – and you don’t know me very well. I lose my temper sometimes and say things I don’t mean, but we can get through it … can’t we?’
‘Oh, yes. No one is perfect, but if the goodwill is there, things can be worked out.’ He had to hug her all over again as he said that, and this time he dared to make a thorough job of it. She felt stiff in his arms at first, then relaxed against him, as Claire had done.
That was two people turning to him, wanting to be with him. And there was Gabby to love as well as Dee, yes, love. He’d had so much love locked away inside him for years and now it felt to be spilling out in a great, warm tide.
That felt wonderful. Abso-bloody-lutely wonderful.
And he didn’t care if Dee saw that he was crying too.
As they both stopped and mopped their eyes, he said, ‘This must be one of the most important conversations I’ve ever had in the whole of my life. And the most wonderful.’
‘Me, too.’
Then Gabby came running in to say, ‘We’re ready. Everything is unpacked and—Oh! Is everything all right? You’ve both been crying.’
Dee went across to her. ‘Everything’s great! We’ve been crying with happiness, that’s all. I’m going to live with Dad from now on. Aren’t I lucky?’
She moved the younger girl towards the door and looked back to wink at him. ‘Come on. Dad’ll join us in a minute. Show me what you’ve been doing.’
Luke blew his nose, then blew it good and hard again. But it was a minute or two before he could regain control of his emotions and feel ready to face the others.
As he was about to join them, he remembered the question of safety and went into his home office instead to make a phone call to a security company run by a friend of his.
Rod listened as he explained the situation. ‘Are you sure things are that bad?’
‘Her ex not only burnt her car but put in a security camera to watch her reaction to that. He must be a real sicko. I’m worried that he might suddenly do some
thing worse. I don’t want them to get hurt and I’m not good at physical fighting, nor can I stay up all night keeping watch on the house, then keep an eye on things during the day.’
‘Well, I know a guy who takes on occasional jobs. He’s older and retired from the police force, but he works part-time as a private investigator. He’s strong and very discreet, good at defusing difficult situations rather than getting into punch-ups.’
‘Sounds perfect. See if he’ll come and stay here until we set up something permanent.’
‘You’ll pay through the nose for full-time attendance.’
‘What price my family’s safety?’
‘Your family? It’s that serious with this woman, then?’
Luke didn’t even have to think about his answer. ‘It is if I can stop her running away. She’d do that not only for her own sake, but to try to save me and Dee from her ex. I want us all to be free of him permanently, so I’ll be looking for legal help on Monday as well.’
Claire came across to him as he entered the living room where the decorations were now spread out. ‘Everything all right?’
‘Better than all right. This has been one of the best days of my life, in spite of our problems. I’ll tell you about it later.’ He raised his voice, ‘Let’s put that tree together, girls, before you do your bedrooms.’
‘We’ve got some things for our bedrooms.’ Gabby beamed at a pile of tinsel at one side.
‘Good. But before we dress the tree up, we have to find something to stand it in, to keep it from falling over on us.’
However, the expensive tree came with a well-designed stand that was easy to put together. ‘That shows how much I knew about artificial Christmas trees.’
Dee had recovered her spirits enough to give him a scornful eye roll. ‘You should have read the information on the box more carefully, Dad.’
He grinned and shrugged. ‘I stand guilty. You sort out what we buy next time.’
She jutted her chin at him, but smiled back at him as she spoke. ‘All right. I will.’