‘What?’ said Anna, her neck turning so fast it was a blur. ‘Who the hell have you flashed?’
‘Erm,’ he laughed, turning red. ‘So… we used to play this game at Uni, called Cock or Ball.’
‘Oh good grief,’ shrieked Anna, hiding her face. ‘Who did I marry?’
‘What’s Cock or Ball?’ said Elsie, confused.
‘You expose a part of your… anatomy,’ said Tom carefully. ‘And then everyone else has to guess if it’s… well, the clue is in the name.’
‘No! That’s awful!’ she laughed, covering her mouth. ‘Moving on.’
Elsie sat upright on her knees, it was time to up the ante a little further. The first round of questions had to be a little tame, and she had eased them in with the last few. It was time to capitalise on this. ‘Never have I ever... had sex at a party,’ as soon as she said it she drank.
A moment later Anna followed suit and so did Cole, all three of them laughing hard as they wiped their chins. Only Tom’s remained untouched, and he shrugged as they all looked at him.
‘I never got invited to many parties, I’m afraid. The one’s I did go to largely involved playing Dungeons & Dragons. Didn’t really fancy shagging any one there.’
‘Well if I’d been there I would’ve fucked you,’ said Elsie, her eyebrows raised.
‘Elsie,’ admonished Anna with a wry grin. ‘If you could refrain from giving my husband fresh wanking material.’
She shrugged and winked, running her tongue quickly along the edge of her lip when her new friend wasn’t looking. ‘So what’s your story, Anna?’ she pried, grinning as she glanced back at Tom’s gobsmacked expression.
‘Cheeky bitch,’ she paused, building herself up. ‘His name was Raz. He had a leather jacket, drank whiskey from a hip flask and drove a Jag. I didn’t stand a chance. He fucked me over the dresser in the master bedroom of my best friend’s house.’
Tom’s eyes practically burst out of their sockets as Anna’s words tumbled from her mouth.
‘I can’t believe I just said that,’ she said, covering her mouth in shame. ‘You two are a bad influence. If my husband leaves me after tonight, I’m suing.’
‘Hey, we’re just asking the questions, we take no responsibility for the answers,’ said Elsie, shaking her head.
‘At this point I might start drinking to forget,’ laughed Tom.
‘Your turn, Anna,’ said Elsie, patting her friend on the thigh and then leaving her hand there, squeezing it gently.
‘Never have I ever…’ Anna paused as she looked slowly around the room, her eyes lingering on Elsie meaningfully, then she picked up her glass and held it near to her lips, ready to drink. ‘Had a secret crush.’
She downed her drink in one, keeping eye contact with her new friend the whole time and then took a deep breath and exhaled sharply as the alcohol hit her, her head swimming for a moment before she steadied herself.
Elsie giggled and then drank too, wiping her lips as she glanced at their husband’s empty glasses. ‘Ok, most recent crushes only. We’re not interested in who you fancied when you were thirteen.’
Cole laughed and leant forward. ‘I gotta be honest with you, sweetheart. I do have a little crush on your best friend.’
‘Alice? I am shocked,’ feigned Elsie. ’Shocked.’
Anna’s face was a picture. ‘The girl from the other day?’
Elsie grinned and blushed as Anna frowned, curiosity spreading across her brow, she could tell she wanted to know more.
‘Whilst we’re being honest,’ said Tom interrupting his wife’s thoughts. ‘Your sister is really hot.’
Anna turned and scowled at her husband, swatting his hand. ‘You suck. She’s eight years younger than me!’
‘And looks exactly like you did back then… What can I say?’ he laughed as Anna’s expression cracked and she too began to laugh.
‘Perkier tits as well,’ she nodded.
‘Don’t they get bigger after you have kids?’ said Elsie.
Anna grabbed hers in both palms and grinned. ‘They do and it’s awesome.’
Tom smiled in agreement and shrugged. ‘Pros and Cons.’
‘Well if you are going to be brutally honest, dear husband, then so am I,’ said Anna, turning her attention away from her husband and smiling mischievously. ‘My most recent crush is him,’ she said, pointing at Cole.
Elsie was part way through a sip of her soft drink as she heard this and burst out laughing, spraying the carpet and the back of her hand with fizz. ‘Oh wow. Really?’
Anna eyeballed Elsie’s husband as he sat back laughing and turned a deep shade of red. ‘Fuck yes,’ she said. ‘He’s a tall dark cup of handsome and I am fucking parched.’
Elsie hammered the floor with her hand as she laughed even harder, tears streaming down her face.
This might actually happen, she thought to herself for a moment. There was a pretty big chasm between flirting and fucking though. What she needed was a rope bridge.
‘Parched?’ laughed Tom. ‘We had sex last night.’
‘Sorry, hubby,’ Anna was laughing so hard now that she could barely finish her sentence.
‘What about you Elsie?’ said Tom, shaking his head in despair.
She smiled for a moment. ‘Other than you, of course,’ she said. Then as she reminisced, her eyes glazed over. ‘I met up with an old Uni friend last year. He’d aged well.’
‘Was he an old flame?’ said Anna, drying her eyes.
‘Something like that.’
‘That’s very brave of you, Mr Winters,’ said Anna, nodding at Cole. ‘Letting your wife meet up with an attractive ex-squeeze?’
‘Well, some people do describe me as a tall dark cup of handsome,’ he said without skipping a beat. ‘She always comes home to me.’
‘I have no doubt,’ she turned her gaze on Tom. ‘Come on then, dear husband. Next question.’
‘Never have I ever, stalked an ex on social media,’ said Tom.
The room fell silent.
All four of them drank and immediately burst into laughter.
‘Moving on!’ said Anna, holding her glass up high. ‘Cole, quick! Save us!’
‘Oh, fuck erm… Never have I ever, cheated on any of my partners? Present company included,’ he said, a knife edge to his tone as he licked his lips and flicked his eyebrows.
‘That’s worse!’ shouted Anna, her eyes wild with panic.
Cole’s drink stayed still, and so did Tom’s but after a brief flicker, Elsie’s fingers flexed as she made eye contact with her new friend - as though they each knew and could feel the other’s guilt but neither wanted to be the first to admit it.
Anna broke first, slamming her drink back, and a second later, Elsie joined her.
‘Not on you, just to be clear,’ she declared quickly, turning to her husband and then back towards Elsie. ‘There’s honesty and there’s marital suicide, am I right?’
Elsie giggled as she nodded, wiping her lips with the back of her wrist. Fuck she wanted to kiss this woman.
‘I did however, have a sneaky little snog with a boy who was not my boyfriend at the time, at a party in college. But it was just a kiss… that lasted around an hour… with some petting.’
‘Petting?’
‘He touched a boob,’ she burst into a fit of giggles as she said this, holding up her finger. ‘Just one.’
‘Elsie?’ said Cole, leaning forward, his eyes wide.
‘At least twice on you,’ she half joked, winking. ‘I did sleep with someone else in the first week of University, whilst I was still with my college boyfriend. I felt awful, we’d agreed to try out a long distance relationship but I wasn’t really into the idea. There was this really hot guy on my course - in hindsight he was a total prick - and I ended up bringing him back to my dorm one night and fucking his brains out.’
‘Wow,’ said Anna, nodding. ‘I mean, you’re a terrible person and you should be ashamed.’
‘I am ashamed! I bro
ke up with my boyfriend a few weeks later.’
‘Did you sleep with him again before you broke up with him?’
‘Yes,’ she said sheepishly, looking down and biting her lip in guilt. ‘In my defence, they were both really hot.’
‘That’s not a defense,’ laughed Anna. ‘That’s boasting.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said.
‘Don’t say sorry to me, say sorry to him.’
‘He’s married with two kids now.’
’I think we just found out who Elsie’s been stalking on social media,’ laughed Tom.
Her eyes went wide as she realised her mistake. ‘Shit.’
‘Right, come on your turn,’ giggled Anna. ‘Dig yourself out of the hole.’
‘Oh my goodness. I started this didn’t I? Fuck. Never have I ever…’ Elsie paused for dramatic effect, then she tilted her head meaningfully at Anna and bit her lip. ‘Questioned my sexuality.’
Elsie watched as her new friend blushed, her long fingers twitching around her glass as she looked sidelong at her, glancing away as her cheeks flushed and turning toward Cole and then her husband, all of them frozen, waiting for one of the others to move like a Mexican standoff.
‘Fuck it,’ laughed Elsie and drank.
Anna grinned and nodded slowly, then downed hers in one.
Cole remained still as Tom’s eyes went wide again, staring in surprise at his wife. ’This is a night of revelations.’
Anna giggled and pursed her lips innocently before shrugging. ‘You never asked.’
‘I didn’t think I needed to,’ he said. ‘Forgive me for assuming.’
‘Have you ever been with a girl?’ asked Elsie, squirming with excitement.
‘Um, I think you’re supposed to say Never have I ever first?’ said Anna, shaking her head and wagging her finger.
Elsie took a deep frustrated breath, stroking her thighs as she grinned and nodded slowly. ‘Fair enough.’
Anna was bright red as she laughed, unable to hold Elsie’s gaze any longer, her hands visibly shaking as she squeezed her thighs together and flattened the hem of her dress. She watched as her new friend glanced up at her husband and smiled meaningfully.
Elsie wanted to kneel forward, crawl across the room and kiss her in that moment, but she held herself back. It wasn’t time yet.
‘Your turn then,’ said Elsie, winking.
‘Never have I ever…’ said Anna, her lips pursed in anticipation. ‘Taken a naughty selfie.’
‘Guilty,’ Elsie slammed her drink back and almost dropped it back on the carpet. ‘Every time Cole goes away I like to let him know what he’s missing.’
‘No one can ever look at my phone,’ he laughed, patting his pocket protectively.
Anna grabbed her glass too and knocked her drink back, before turning to look at her husband who grinned. ’Guilty as charged,’ she said. ‘Not done that in a while though, maybe I need to up my game?’
‘Boys?’ said Elsie, looking between them. ‘You’ve never sent a dick pic?’
‘Never,’ said Cole as Tom shook his head.
Anna nodded her head approvingly. ‘No one likes a dick pic,’ she laughed. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I love a good cock, but I have no desire to look at one on my phone, no matter whose it is.’
Elsie nodded vigorously as she turned to Tom, inviting him to take his turn.
‘As my wife seems to be being brutally honest this evening, there’s something I’ve always been curious about… Never have I ever had anal sex,’ he said, looking pointedly at his wife.
Anna burst out laughing so hard that she bent right forward, her forehead touching the carpet as she giggled herself into silence.
Elsie watched as she slowly sat upright, her face bright red with guilt. In that moment they both looked at one another, their eyes full of laughter, and drank.
‘But apparently not with me,’ said Tom, looking somewhat disappointed, his own drink untouched.
Cole raised his glass toward his crestfallen comrade and then brutally tipped it back, the searing liquid coursing down his throat before shrugging.
‘In my defence - again - you have never asked,’ said Anna, turning around and standing up.
‘You’ve never offered!’ he said. Elsie was worried that this was turning a little bitter, but then Tom’s mouth curled at the edge and turned into a grin. ‘Though I guess, now I know…’
‘Why wait?’ laughed Elsie, raising her eyebrows. ‘I’ve got an unopened bottle of lube upstairs, stay the night and have some fun.’
‘Oh my goodness,’ laughed Anna. ‘When I said hardcore, I didn’t mean literally. We’re not doing that tonight… but, maybe another night.’
She turned and made wide eyes at Elsie who laughed and glanced toward her husband. ‘I think it’s your go…’
‘Oh thank goodness,’ said Cole. ‘Never have I ever, had sex in a public place.’
Anna’s drink stayed put and so did Tom’s as they both shrugged. ‘Not us.’
‘Ah shit,’ said Elsie as she turned again to look at her husband, together they shrugged and knocked their own drinks back in unison.
‘Where? When? How?’ demanded Anna, her eyes wide, desperate for the lascivious details.
‘Four years ago, in the Fairways Golf Club restaurant, in the toilets, up against the cubicle wall, from behind,’ said Elsie.
‘In the womens?’ said Anna, incredulous.
‘In my defence,’ started Cole. ‘Elsie was wearing a bu-.’
‘Nope!’ she interrupted, holding her hand up.
‘A what?’ said Anna.
‘Nothing!’
‘A bu-?’ she continued, mouthing the word and trying to find a fit.
‘Butt plug?’ said Tom, his eyes wide with disbelief.
‘No!’ laughed Elsie, as Cole nodded behind her.
‘Oh golly,’ said Anna, her face in her hands as she peered through her fingers. ‘Did you like it?’ she stopped herself and blushed. ‘I bet it feels weird.’
Elsie glanced at Tom who had clearly noticed Anna’s enthusiasm, grinning for a moment as he glanced at his wife and then looking away at Cole as she turned back to look at him.
‘It’s nice,’ said Elsie. ‘It feels really naughty.’
Anna nodded, still embarrassed but trying desperately to cover it. ‘Fair enough. I think it’s your turn now.’
‘Ok, I’ve been saving this one up. I’m so sorry… Never have I ever, thought about someone other than my partner… whilst doing it,’ said Elsie.
‘Oh my goodness,’ Anna laughed, her hand over her mouth in horror. She watched Elsie carefully as the two of them engaged in a stand off. Their husbands sat forward, waiting for their reaction, then Elsie slammed her drink back and Cole burst out laughing.
Tom settled back into his chair, shaking his head with relief but then his face dropped as Anna knocked hers back too.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she pleaded, as she leapt up and grabbed hold of his hand with hers. ‘Just a few times, I promise and only when the lights were out.’
‘That’s fine,’ he said knocking his drink back and grinning. ‘I’ve only imagined I’m fucking your sister a few times too.’
Anna’s face dropped and then screwed up in faux-anger as she laughed. ‘You’re such a shit.’
‘Touché,’ he laughed and then leaned forward to kiss her.
‘I can’t believe you,’ she continued, shaking her head as she sat back down. ‘Fine, time to bring out the big guns. Never have I ever… had a threesome,’ said Anna peering intently at Elsie, then a moment later, she drank half of her drink, her eyes peeping over the top of her glass as she grinned back shyly at her husband.
‘What?’ he said. ‘When?’
‘Half a threesome,’ she held up her fingers an inch apart. ‘Only half.’
‘How do you have half a threesome?’
‘Oh shit,’ huffed Anna, looking to Elsie with a pleading look.
‘Don’t look at me,’ she
said. ‘You got yourself into this one. I’m just as curious as him.’
‘Fuck,’ she laughed. ‘Ok, so there was this guy at college that both me and my best friend liked. I’d had a crush on him since school and she liked him too. We’d all started hanging out together and the more time we all spent in each other’s company, the more I liked him, but the more I could see my friend liked him too. Eventually we had this huge argument and it all came out - she was in love with him, she’d never loved anyone before - blah blah blah - anyway, we fell out big time. For a few weeks we didn’t talk to each other, but our parents were good friends so it’s all pretty awkward. Easter comes around and our mum’s decide enough is enough, and take us out for a day trip together, I think it was to some zoo or something, it was too young for us at the time, we’d all turned eighteen by then, but by the end of the day the hatchet is buried and we’re friends again. The boy in question - his name was Archie - invites us both to a house party the following weekend along with a whole bunch of our friends. His parents are abroad for two weeks so he has the house all to himself, no brothers or sisters. Out of the blue, my friend says to me, why don’t we share him? At this point I’m completely baffled. She says, instead of heading home at the end of the night, we stay to help him tidy up the house and then just… do it together.’
Elsie’s eyes widened. ‘I bet he was happy.’
‘We didn’t actually have sex, just to be clear. We told him what we wanted, we all got naked - it was so awkward, we literally just took off our clothes and stood there - then... we might have kissed a little... and then he got, over excited.’
‘Oh no,’ squealed Elsie, covering her face. ‘But also really hot.’
Anna nodded. ‘After that, it was all over,’ she laughed. ‘Unfortunately that rather ruined the whole mystical charm of Archie and a week later we both had new, and different, crushes.’
‘That’s amazing,’ said Elsie giggling.
‘I can’t believe you,’ said Tom, his mouth wide, but smiling. ‘I can’t believe you’ve never told me this.’
Anna shrugged. ‘Maybe I’ll tell you some more, later... Whose turn is it now?’ she said, smiling from ear to ear.
Elsie grinned and knocked back her drink. ‘Didn’t think the round was over actually.’
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