by Apryl Baker
“Uba!” Charlie shouts. I’m not sure what that means, but she bends down and touches her lips to the top of my baby’s head.
“Do you see the pretty butterflies?”
She leans into me, hugging my arm, and squeals. “Yes!”
“Where’s my nugget?” a male voice calls from the front yard. Ugh…why is he here? I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I stand up.
“Hey, Jack,” I say as he walks into my backyard.
Charlie squeals. “Pa Pa!” She runs to her grandpa as fast as her little legs will take her. An ache blooms in my chest when I watch his whole face change as he holds out his arms to his granddaughter. The man is beautiful in the rugged, manly way, but when he’s giving attention to Charlie, he’s breathtaking.
“Hey.” He finally acknowledges my existence. “Reece took Delilah to the doctor. She was having cramps. I told them I’d come get Charlie.”
“Oh gosh, I hope she’s okay.”
“Reece is freaking out. Delilah swears it’s just Braxton Hicks. Anyway, I told them I’d take Charlie back to my place for the night.” He scoops Charlotte up in his arms. “Thanks for watching her.”
He turns, and just like that, he’s gone. “Fucking dick,” I mutter under my breath.
Chapter Two
Jack
One Year Later
For the past year, I’ve been in hell. Every time I visit my daughter and grandbabies, I catch a glimpse of the petite, auburn-haired, green-eyed beauty, and my cock aches to be near her, to be inside of her. It’ll never happen because I followed my dick once and it led me to Becky—granted, I’ll never regret it because I got Delilah out of the deal, but yeah, it’s never going to happen again.
Of course my daughter immediately became friends with Harley, and my granddaughter loves her. It’s not unusual for Harley to be over there watching or helping with the kids when I stop by. Yes, okay, I may stop by more than I need to, but it’s purely a “look but don’t touch” situation. Touching is forbidden.
Fuck, speaking of touching…I haven’t had sex in almost three years. God, that’s pathetic, but I’ve been too busy getting my company up and running. Everything that happened with Delilah and her having my grandbabies also has kept me busy.
Anytime I decide to jerk off, Harley is the queen of my fantasies. Plus, now that I’ve read her books—and yes, I’ve bought every single one…they're almost better than porn—I have lots and lots of material to serve as inspiration for my pleasure.
I picture her as the heroine every single time. Then when I’m around her, I just want to touch her. Apparently I like to torture myself. Let’s not forget, though: She’s thirty-two and I’m forty-three and a grandfather. I’m just too old for her; she probably wants marriage and babies, and I don’t.
Don’t get me wrong—I love women and I love pussy, but I don’t love the drama that usually follows them. Uncomplicated is what I’ve enjoyed…easy breezy.
After mowing the grass and trimming the bushes around my porch, I put everything away and head inside to shower. My daughter and son-in-law are having a cookout today, for no other reason than to get everyone together. Plus I can spend some time with my grandkids, Charlie and my namesake, Jackson.
When I get out of the shower I throw on jeans, a t-shirt, and motorcycle boots. It’s a nice night; I might as well take my bike. I can’t wait until my little Charlie girl is big enough that I can take her for rides.
On my way out to the garage, I grab my helmet. When I pull up into Delilah’s driveway, the front door opens and my son-in-law steps out with my grandson in his arms. I couldn’t have found a better husband for my daughter if I’d picked him myself.
“What’s up, brother?” Reece hands over Jackson, and I hug my baby boy to me. “Your granddaughter’s in a timeout right now.”
I smile, because she’s definitely giving her mom and dad a run for their money. She’s a good girl—she’s just very stubborn and tests her parents all of the time. “What did she do this time?”
“She decided to steal her momma’s lipstick and draw all over her room, and then decided to draw on her brother.” Reece pulls up Jackson’s t-shirt, and I can see the faint marks on his belly. We head inside, and I set Jackson down before he crawls toward the kitchen.
I find Charlie sitting in a little chair facing the corner. When she sees me, she smiles like she’s not in timeout. “Papa, I twouble.”
It takes a lot for me not to go pluck her out of the chair and smooch her face, but my daughter would kick my ass if I interfered. “I see that, my little nugget. Come give me hugs when Mommy lets you up.”
“Otay!” She smiles.
“Hey, Dad.” I kiss my daughter’s forehead and follow them through the house and out the sliding glass door. I spot Harley right away, sitting next to Erik’s fiancé, Shayla. She glances at me and then turns away…good. It makes it easier to resist her if she avoids me.
By the time food’s on, the kids are all fit to be tied. Shayla and Erik’s oldest, Grant, helps Charlie and Carrie and Egan’s oldest son, Leif, up the stairs from the yard. We get the kids all set up, and then we all sit down to eat.
I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow I end up seated next to Harley. She ignores me while talking to everyone else. I really haven’t been the nicest to her.
“Harley, what story are you working on now?” Delilah asks.
Harley’s cheeks turn a light shade of pink. “I’m plotting a couple of different things right now, which is usually what I do while I’m waiting for edits to come back. I’m doing my first book signing next weekend—it’s at the Barnes and Noble at the mall. Will you guys come?”
My daughter, forever the cheerleader, starts clapping and bouncing up and down. “We’ll totally come. Right, girls?” She looks at both Carrie and Shayla, and they nod their heads in agreement.
Conversation starts to die down as the evening wears on. Harley left a little while ago, and my granddaughter is asleep on my lap. Reece keeps offering to take her, but I shake my head every time, refusing to give up my little nugget.
Delilah joins me a few minutes later after putting Jackson to bed. “She loves her papa.”
“Her papa loves her.” Bending down, I place my lips on her curly brown hair. “Thanks for dinner.”
“Of course.” Delilah looks at me closely. “Have you ever thought about getting married again, or having more kids?”
She’s honestly never asked me this before. I shrug. “I haven’t. After your mom, I just never let myself get close to someone again. She sent me a letter after that first year…I had no plans to read it, but my curiosity got the best of me.”
“What did it say?” Delilah leans forward and puts her hand over mine.
I tilt my head back and close my eyes. “Sweetheart, you don’t need to know. It’s not important.” Nausea had pooled in my belly when I read Becky’s words. We created the beautiful woman in front of me, and she said she never wanted her. It was all to trap me, to mess with me, but then the reality of motherhood didn’t appeal to her.
Delilah interrupts my thoughts. “Dad, it’s okay. I know she never wanted me. I’m okay with that. I’ve come to terms with it. All I know is that I’m not her. I love my kids and will never make them feel like they were mistakes.” She lets go of my hand and strokes Charlie’s hair back from her sweet cherub face.
“You may have come to terms with it, but I haven’t. It really fucking sucked to read her words. She should’ve given you to me. Yes, you would’ve been with your grandma and grandpa, but they would’ve shown you love.”
We head inside, and I take my Charlie girl upstairs and tuck her in. Both kids are asleep, so I decide to take my leave so my daughter and son-in-law can enjoy the rest of their evening. When I head out to my bike and straddle it, I hear Harley’s garage door open. Seconds later, her car pulls out of the driveway.
When she takes off down the street, I start my bike, pull out of the driveway, and follo
w behind her before I can stop myself. I know she sees me, and I pull in behind her at a little pub called Duey’s that’s two blocks away.
She climbs out. “Are you following me?”
“Maybe…are you meeting someone?” I move toward her, crowding her against the side of her car. Harley stares up at me, and her green eyes sparkle under the light of the parking lot. “Answer me, darlin’.” In my head I know I should step back, hop on my bike, and ride away, but I can’t.
Harley crosses her arms over her chest, which of course draws my attention to her breasts, but I force my eyes to stay on her face. “It’s not like it’s any of your business, but no, I’m not meeting someone. I just felt like I could use a drink, and I didn’t have anything at home.” She scoots around me and heads toward the door, with me trailing behind her like a fucking dog.
The light is dim inside, and the place is damn near empty. I sit down next to her at the bar and signal the bartender over. Harley orders a spiced rum and diet and I order a beer. She doesn’t talk to me at first, and I watch out of the corner of my eye as her lips wrap around the red straw.
“How’s your bunny?” Fuck, I’m lame.
Her laugh is soft and melodic, and goes right to my dick. “He’s fine. How was the rest of the party?”
“Good.” I pull out my phone and bring up my photo app. Holding it out to Harley, I show her the picture Delilah took. It’s my nugget asleep on my lap. I know I constantly bombard people with pictures of my grandkids, but I love them to pieces. I mean come on, I delivered Charlie myself.
“Awww…she’s so adorable. You’re very lucky to have such amazing family. I love those little munchkins.”
I take my phone back and take a drink of my beer. “I am lucky. It’s still sometimes hard to believe that I almost lost both my girls.” I don’t dare tell my daughter that I still occasionally have nightmares about that day. Delilah doesn’t know that I saw her heart shatter that night while she held her newborn daughter in her arms and looked to her mother for any semblance of love. The fucking bitch wouldn’t even look at her.
That is why I’ll never be in another relationship. “What about you?” I ask. “Are you and your family tight?”
Her whole demeanor changes; her eyes focus on her drink, she’s picking at her fingernails, and a wave of sadness comes off her that makes me want to pull her into my arms. Instead I change the subject. “I’ve read some of your stuff.” I never planned on telling her, but I don’t want her to be sad.
“You have?” Harley sounds genuinely surprised, but why wouldn’t she? I was an asshole the day we met, and when I left her place I know she saw me throw her book in the garbage. It was a dick move, but considering the attraction I felt it seemed safer to be a dick in order to keep her away from me.
“I have, and you’re fucking talented.” I love the shade of pink her cheeks turn. “What made you decide to write?”
Harley turns toward me, and our knees are almost touching. I hate that she won’t look me in the eye. I reach out and grip her chin, tilting her face up until I can see the vibrant emerald color. Her pink tongue pokes out, moving back and forth over her lower lip…I want to nip it.
“Tell me what made you decide to write.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Are you always this bossy?”
“Of course I am. You don’t lead a team of alpha males without being bossy at some point.” I let go of her chin and grab my beer for another swig.
“I’m seriously shocked that you read my books, considering…” She grabs her drink and sucks down some of it. “You didn’t have to throw it in the trash. You could’ve just said no when I gave it to you.”
I rub a hand over my hair. “It was a dick move, and I’m sorry.”
“Thank you for saying that. I do want to ask you a question.” Harley sucks down the rest of her drink. She sets the glass down and then asks me point blank, “Why don’t you like me? Since the day we met, you’ve treated me like I was nothing.”
I open my mouth to speak, but she slides off of her stool so she’s between my legs. She grabs my face, and the next thing I know her lips are on mine. Harley licks the seam of my lips, and I open to her and quickly take possession of her mouth. My dick is harder than it’s ever been, and if I don’t get control of myself I’m going to end up fucking her here on the bar.
But before I can pull her closer…she’s gone, the door to the bar shutting behind her. In a daze, I shake my head and turn back toward the bar. Motherfucker.
Chapter Three
Harley
“Why did I kiss him?” I mutter as I pour a cup of coffee. It’s been three days since I kissed him and I can’t stop thinking about it. His flavor exploded on my tongue, his lips were firm, and it made me ache in a way I’ve never felt before…which in turn caused me to run.
Jack obviously didn’t feel anything because he didn’t follow me out, and I haven’t seen him since. It’s not like I care, but now it’s going to be even more awkward around him. “Harley, you’re an idiot.” Great, I’m talking to myself now.
With my coffee in hand, I head into my office. To stay on track I have a set schedule, obviously with a little flexibility. In the morning while I “wake up,” I go through emails and social media. I pick up Fifty and snuggle him in my arms. He’s the laziest animal I’ve ever seen. In seconds, he passes out. As I scan my emails, I notice a couple from my website.
The first is from a fan that’s just discovered my books. I can’t help it and smile wide while I read her email. I shoot her a quick response back, thanking her for writing and saying that I’m so glad she loves my stories.
I open the second. My body tenses as I read the words.
Ms. Steele,
I thought I should inform you that I find your writing very offensive to women. God will punish you for your sins. Repent before it’s too late.
Yours in Jesus,
Martha
Ugh, I hit delete and roll my eyes. This isn’t the first time “Martha” has emailed me or messaged me telling me that what I write is wrong. I ignore and delete every one. It’s not worth it to let it get to me. Back to the task at hand, I post a teaser from my upcoming release on all of my social media sites and all of the links I have ready.
Once that’s all done, I carry Fifty out into the kitchen with me, where I grab a banana and Fifty’s leash. It’s a beautiful, warm morning, and when I step outside I see there are butterflies flitting around my butterfly garden. Once my bunny is on his leash, I walk him with me toward the garden.
The week before, I bought a bench and placed it in front of my butterfly garden. I love to come out here and just get lost in my thoughts. Sometimes if I’m stuck working on a difficult scene or I’m blocked, I’ll come out here and let my mind clear, and it gets the creative juices flowing. While I eat my banana I feed Fifty a couple of little pieces, which the pig happily gobbles up.
I watch a couple of butterflies flit around and smile. A familiar squeal has me turning on my bench and watching Charlie running toward me with Delilah walking behind her with Jackson in her arms. The little cutie pie runs right to me. I set Fifty on the ground between my feet and scoop her up onto my lap.
“Hey, Harley, sorry to bug you, but I need a huge favor.” The blonde sits next to me and settles Jackson on the bench between us before she reaches down to scoop up Fifty.
“Sure, what’s up?”
She sighs. “I’m pregnant…or at least I’m pretty sure I am. I’ve got an appointment at my OB/GYN, and then I have to go kick Reece’s butt.”
“Oh wow, I thought he got the old snip, snip.” I make the motion of scissors with my fingers.
“He did, he just refused to take his sample in to see if it worked, which obviously it didn’t. I hate bugging you, and I feel like I ask you to babysit all of the time.” Delilah kisses Fifty’s head and lets Jackson kiss/drool on his head after her.
“You know I’m always happy to watch them, but I wish I could see you ki
ck Reece’s butt.”
“Butt!” Charlie yells, and then hops off of my lap and walks over to the flowers. I love how she’s so gentle when she checks them out.
Delilah shakes her head as she looks at her daughter with soft eyes and the sweetest smile on her lips. A wave of sadness washes over me because I’m never going to have that—I’ll never be someone’s mom. At thirty-two, you’d think I’d be over my abandonment issues, but I’m not and never will be. I’ll never allow myself to truly be close to someone because I’m never going to be left again.
While I put Fifty in his cage, Delilah takes the kids back over to her place. It’s easier for me to watch them there. I grab a bottle of water and head on over. Since she knows I’m coming I don’t even bother knocking. I just step inside, and their labradoodle, Jinx, greets me at the door. “Hi, boy.” I scratch him behind his ears and then follow him into the living room.
Charlie is on the floor brushing the hair of her doll. Delilah brings Jackson out. “They’ve already eaten, but can have a snack in a little bit. I just changed his diaper.”
I take him from his momma. “Go, I’ve got this.” She gives me a smile. Quietly, she grabs her purse and disappears.
Charlie doesn’t mind her mom leaving, but Jackson gets upset. I use the power of distraction to get him calmed down, and sure enough, he stops crying.
The kids play together, with Charlie only getting irritated a few times. After they play for a while, I get them set up in the kitchen with some Goldfish crackers and sliced bananas—watching as they munch happily on their snacks.
When I’m wiping their faces off, I hear the front door open. “Where are my little nuggets at?” I roll my eyes—what is he doing here? I was hoping I could keep avoiding him.
“Papa!” Charlie runs toward him while Jackson tries to lunge from my arms. Luckily I know the little boy well so I had a good hold on him.