by Sarah Raz
Two days later, the postman brought an envelope with an official seal of the Bulgarian government. Alice felt a cold sweat wash all over her body. She dared not open the envelope alone. She waited for the evening. That whole day she could hardly function, a multitude of thoughts invading her mind. Who could have written to them from the government?
She heard him coming up the stairs and waited by the door. Coming in, he saw her pale and visibly frightened. In her hands, Alice held the menacing envelope. “Asher, you have a letter from the government.” He took the envelope from her hands, tore it open, and began reading.
“According to the new emergency regulations, you must report, next Monday, for military service for the duration of three months. We are establishing a new military unit that will be staffed by Jews who are Bulgarian citizens and which will take part in the war effort. You must inform your employers and bring with you nothing but toiletries. We shall provide you with a uniform and everything else. You must report to the plaza in front of the synagogue. You will be able to keep in touch with your family members via letters. There will be no visits or leave allowed during the entire period.”
The couple were crestfallen. Asher had no military experience, nor had he been physically capable of performing military duties. And since when did Jews have to serve in the military, anyway?
It became clear to them at that moment that a new era had begun, an era which will make it impossible for them to control their own destinies.
Alice prepared for him everything he needed. She tried her best to alleviate his anxieties and promised him that she would do just fine on her own and that she was afraid of nothing. She would take care of the girls and wait for his return. “Try to do as you’re told, don’t argue, make them happy, and let the three months pass. I will contact Jacques and let him know what had happened. Perhaps he knows the real story behind this conscription. I will go to the post office and try to telephone him in Plovdiv to ask if this order had reached there as well. Don’t worry, Asher, if there is any way for me to meet you or send you a care package, I shall do so.”
Alice failed to fathom why none of the other men in the neighborhood were conscripted for the “war effort”. And what kind of specific talents Asher may have had that could have been of interest to the Bulgarian military. She needed to defuse the tension. The Hanukkah holiday was around the corner and she asked Asher to make Hlavaika de Hanukkah for the girls. Asher took the remainder of their flour, placed it in a skillet and began roasting it. The girls gathered around him to watch the flour take on a deep brown hue and smell its enticing aroma. In the meantime, Alice boiled a large pot of water with lots of sugar. Asher was slowly stirring the roasting flour as if wanting the moment to last forever. But finally it was time. Alice quickly poured the boiling sugar syrup into the flour pan to sound of loud hissing as a large cloud of vapor rose above it. Asher redoubled his stirring. Once the pyrotechnics had subsided, Alice placed the thick flour and syrup mixture in a large tray, let it cool down, and cut it into squares using a large knife, wetting the blade between cuts. In the kitchen’s dim light, the girls could not see Alice’s tears fall onto the pastry, adding their saltiness to its flavor. On each one of the squares Alice had placed a roasted almond. She prepared hot drinks for everyone and transported everything to the dining room table. She produced a Menorah and placed in it all eight candles, so there would be plenty of light. Asher said the blessing and the girls erupted in song. Asher and Alice could hardly swallow the delicacy; they knew that the next period in their lives would be fraught with peril. “Alice, you know that I do not drink coffee at night, only tea. Why have you made me coffee?” Asher inquired only to be dismissed by an unintelligible murmur from Alice. Then he knew. It was time. Alice had never read his future, but now it was time. Through seeing his future in the coffee grinds, she would know what the future held in store for them both. When they had finished eating, Alice cleared the dishes but for Asher’s cup, which she flipped over onto its saucer. With everyone in bed, Alice returned to the dining room table and flipped the coffee cup once again, this time standing it upright. A wave of emotions washed over her. This was not for show. It was the real thing. She needed to know. Alice collected all her senses, all her powers of intuition, so that she could see properly. Like in an open book, she could see the epos of their lives. Alice was surprised that she had no need to resort to the codes and the signs that she had learned from her aunts; she could see the truth clearly, spread before her as if in the light of day. In the middle of the cup she saw four figures, a couple and two kids. It was a family that had been destined to stick together through thick and thin. The trail of grinds leading from the rim of the cup to its bottom was thick and eventful. Much turbulence could be seen in the coffee grinds around it. Awesome waves were poised above the small family; a big black bird of prey was hovering above them, and she could see its enormous wing feathers absorbing multitudes of people, one after the other. In its claws, the bird held a woven basket from which fruits and vegetables were tumbling down. Opposite the bird, she could see a female figure, traced in white, wearing a hat. In her hand, she held what appeared to be the reins of a horse. Alice was amazed at the level of detail and had begun writing them down on a piece of paper so that she could interpret them later. As she was turning the cup, she saw a long train with many cars moving through a plowed field. At the end of the tracks she saw a sun disk, perfectly round, surrounded by a corona of rays. This was enough for her. She knew that they would have much trouble, but in the end the sun would shine on them again. A smile came upon her lips. “I am ready for anything. All my troubles will lead me to a place of goodness, a place of warmth and plentiful sunshine. And most importantly, we shall be there together. Oh my dear aunts, what a wonderful gift you have given me. Perhaps it is my own heart’s desires that I am seeing, but I know that I am strong and that I can guide my family to safety through every obstacle.” It was with that same smile on her lips that sleep had finally found Alice that night.
Next morning, Alice accompanied Asher to the gathering point next to the synagogue, where many of their acquaintances from the Jewish community were already waiting. Asher reconnected with several friends whom he had not seen for quite a while. Everyone was worried.
Several weeks had passed with no news. To the many questions Jacques had asked her over the telephone, she had had no answer. No one could tell her where Asher had been posted. His office promised to keep paying Asher his usual salary while he was away, so at least the financial situation had not been dire.
Around that same time, rumors started circulating about the breakout in Sofia of a particularly bad case of scarlet fever, which this time had affected not only children, but adults as well. Isolated incidents soon acquired the proportion of an epidemic and everyone had been worried sick. Mati came back from school with a high fever, which Alice did everything to bring down, but to no avail. Alice had an acquaintance, a Jewish pharmacist, whom she had consulted any time someone in her family had gotten ill. She left the girls at home and went out to pick up Asher’s paycheck and obtain some medication for Mati.
Alice’s neighbor Radka had a son, an eighteen year-old boy who neither studied nor worked, but had been very active in fascist youth organizations. Ever since her girls were little, he would always make faces at them when passing them by in the hallway. Now, the young man had gone underground. He rarely left the apartment during the day, but at night he would be out disseminating fascist literature. Ever since he had noticed that Asher had been conscripted, he began keeping an eye on Alice and her daughters. When he saw that the two girls had not come down to the yard to play for a couple of days, he felt compelled to find out why. He knocked on the apartment door. Luna, the youngest, opened the door and he asked her why she and her sister had not been down to the yard. Luna told him that Mati had been sick. This sufficed for the neighbor to call the health authorities, which came to pay a visit, accompanied
by a police officer. The rapidly spreading epidemic had resulted in the government ordering the isolation of all those suffering from scarlet fever in dedicated hospital wards and now the health official, the cop, and the boy’s mother all showed up with the intention of taking Mati with them to be hospitalized. Luna barred the door to the apartment with her little body and began screaming that nobody could take her sister until her mother came back home. She had been so determined and so loud, that the adults, feeling some pity perhaps, relented for a while. Luna kept up her act until Alice had finally returned. Luna implored her mother to not let anyone take her older sister, but even Alice’s entreaties had fallen on deaf ears and Mati was taken to a closed ward in a nearby hospital.
Visitation rights were restricted to immediate family members who could only come to the hospital gates at certain times and speak to their loved ones through barred windows. The nurses were concerned with the possible outbreak of lice, so all the patients, both male and female had their heads shaved. And so, on the first day that Alice had been permitted to catch a glimpse of her, Mati appeared in the window without her gorgeous ginger hair. The distance had made it difficult to hear, so she pointed to her bald head and burst into tears. Wanting to make Mati feel better, Alice immediately took Luna to the barber and, despite her loud protests, had her hair cut down to the bare minimum. She then took her back to the hospital gates and when Mati saw that her sister’s hair had also been shorn, her crying abated somewhat. At least now both girls were equally unhappy.
Mati was returned home after twenty-one days, pale and sad. These were three weeks in which she had to fight off her disease, her physical weakness, and her pining for home. These hardships had left their mark on her and Alice took her daughters to the bathhouse to spoil them a bit after a long time apart.
Two months passed and Alice had still not heard a single word from her husband. At the same time she received a note informing her that Asher had been fired and that from that point on she would not be receiving his salary. In his own handwriting, the owner of the factory added that once Asher came back, he would try to reconsider his dismissal. He further offered his regrets, adding that he had a responsibility to the business and that he already had to make some reductions in the workforce. Finally, he mentioned that he could not function forever without an accountant.
Despite the owner’s promise, Alice knew that Asher would never be able to return to that factory again. She counted down every day, waiting for the three months period to be finally over. She spent her time looking for a new place of employment for Asher. She made a point telling prospective employers that Asher had been drafted and was now serving his country, which was why he could not interview for the job in person. One of her leads was a company searching for a manager for a coal warehouse. Alice put on a blue dress she had always found to be quite flattering, pulled a pair of gloves over her hands, and powdered her nose. It had been a while since she had paid this much attention to her appearance.
If I am going to represent my husband, she thought, I might as well do it right. Alice picked up her purse, took a long last look at the mirror, straightened her back, thrust her chin forward, and left the house. When she arrived at the warehouse, she became frightened by her own daring. The property was located on the far outskirts of the city, a place that was never visited by unaccompanied ladies. The surroundings were largely vacant, with only a trail of black coal dust leading to the warehouse itself. Entering the dark interior, Alice immediately began coughing. “Is there anyone here?” She cried out, but the only answer was the faint echo of her voice. Alice felt her skin crawl. Her mind was screaming “danger”. She cried out again, again with no answer. As she was turning on her heels towards the exit, she felt a large hand block her mouth, while a powerful arm grabbed her by the waist and proceeded to drag her away from the entrance.
She could see that they were entering a small hall faintly illuminated by a skylight in its ceiling. Alice fought with all her might, kicking her feet and shaking her head from side to side, but to no avail. She could feel her breath leaving her and tried to take in some air from between her assailants grimy fingers. In doing so, she finally managed to free her lips and let out a piercing scream, which echoed all over the hall and beyond. Her captor loosened his grip on her and let her drop, making her fall to the ground and hit her head against the floor. She could feel a warm liquid slowly spreading across her face. At the same time, she heard rapid steps fading away in the distance, while others were approaching. “Mon Dieu, who are you? What are you doing here? How did you even get here?” An elderly man was approaching her. He helped her stand up and led her to a corner of the room in which a number of chairs had been arranged around a table. Alice, who was still trying to catch her breath and deal with her anxiety, found it difficult to answer. The man yelled out a few sentences in French, prompting the appearance of a small woman who had left a glass of water on the table. Alice took a few sips and regained her composure somewhat. Her head was still spinning and she felt quite nauseous and dizzy. The small woman reappeared, this time with a wet towel, with which she proceeded to wipe Alice’s face and neck. “You came via the back entrance. The offices are all up front. I am very sorry for what you had gone through. There is a Gypsy man here, homeless. He hides in the warehouse during the day and only goes out at night. It appears that you have frightened him and he ran away. But come, tell me where you have come from and what you are looking for.” The man led Alice to his office, which was tidy and well lit. Alice sighed a sigh of relief. She began speaking in fluent French, though it had been quite a while since she had last had the occasion to use that language. She explained her predicament and her unsuccessful efforts to secure employment for her husband. She exalted Asher’s good qualities, his work ethic, his professionalism, and his reliability, omitting only the fact of his Jewish ethnicity. The man placed his hand on hers as if to reassure her. “You seem like a sensible woman. Why are you putting yourself in harm’s way at times like these? I can understand that the survival instinct may be pushing folks into doing many strange things these days, but you can really hurt yourself.” He waved his forefinger at her; “I appreciate your determination to find employment for your husband. I am sure that if he had chosen you for a wife, he must be quite worthy. Go home and when he comes back, send him to see me. I need a reliable manager at the warehouse.” Both the business and its owner found favor with Alice. And the pay was not so bad either. Alice was now ready to welcome her husband home. She purchased for him a new suit, a shirt, and a tie, so that he would be all set to impress his new employer.
Alice’s neighbor Svetlana had noticed Alice’s many troubles and tried to help. She convinced herself that by paying Alice daily visits she would be doing her good. She took it upon herself to urge Alice to prepare for the worst of all, to be ready to never see Asher again and be ready to support herself on her own. Svetlana volunteered to watch over the girls while Alice went out job hunting.
Alice’s days became filled with chores and with worries. She tried every odd job and she worried that her girls would not be spared any of the weight that had descended on her shoulders. When they came back home from school she did her best to entertain them and instill in them the confidence that their father would soon be coming back home to them and that when he does, they could all go to the park together once more, buy sweets, and relive those beautiful Shabbat nights when they sat around the dinner table and sang together. Alice missed those days and tried to maintain within her daughters and herself the hope that they would yet return. She often told the girls about the faraway country to which, and that soon, all the Jews of the world would find their way. She told them about her brother Yitzhak, who found his way up to that land so he could be among its builders. She used all of her imagination to describe to them that land of milk and honey and how happy they will all be when they finally get there.