by Sarah Raz
Flora’s many responsibilities did not stop her from visiting Alice quite often. Together, they relived the happy days of their childhood in Plovdiv. Flora told Alice about Marco, who came back to Plovdiv after a trip to Palestine, a trip that resulted in Marco’s wife Lisa refusing to stay because she could not stand the heat of the Holy Land. “That is a real tragedy. Now, they have to deal with the deportation and the war. They were already there, in the land of our hope, and then they came back. We all wish we were there and they had decided to leave. What a world,” Flora said.
On one of her visits, Flora told Alice that Jews who could afford it were now allowed to visit the town hamam (public bath) twice weekly, as long as it were the Jews who took care of all the maintenance of the facility. Flora heard that they were looking for workers and suggested that she apply. The pay was meager, but the tips could more than make up for it. Alice gladly took her up on the idea. The work was very hard. Alice had to scrub the place clean at the end of the day when it was the Jews’ turn to bathe. She disinfected the floors and the soap dishes and made the taps shine like new. The bathhouse had been very hot and quite often Alice was overcome with heat exhaustion, prompting her coworkers to douse her with cold water.
Asher had also found a job, with a local farmer. He would muck out the cow barns, load the manure on carts, and spread it out in the fields as fertilizer. Most importantly, they could now feed themselves, so naturally they had stopped going to the schoolhouse for their daily food rations. Little Luna had been sent to the local school, but studies were often interrupted. Mati went to work in a tannery that processed sheep hides, where she was supposed to cut off the sheep tails. When she came home from her job, she brought with her the rancid smell of the tannery and could hardly use her hands from so much pain. With her customary composure, she would go and wash her hands. Alice prepared for her a bowl of warm water into which she placed various oils she had brought home from the hamam. She would take Mati’s hands into her own and soak them in the fragrant water. Her heart tearing asunder from looking at Mati’s bleeding hands, she recounted to her tales from family lore and the plots from the romantic French novels she used to read when she was Mati’s age. Those were the days, she thought to herself, who could have believed that the Bulgarian nation would sink so low as to bring so much suffering to its own subjects.
Mati’s thumb on her right hand had become red and swollen. She was afraid to tell anyone so as not to get fired from her job and decided to wear gloves. After a few days she could no longer move her thumb. At night, when Asher and Luna had gone to sleep, she showed Alice her hand. She cried from pain and from fear that she could no longer work. Alice placed the palms of her hands on Mati’s wet cheeks. “Why didn’t you come to me earlier? Why did you have to suffer so much? I could have talked with the owners of the tannery. This is not the way to do things, Mati. Your health is more important than anything else.” The thumb was clearly infected and filled with pus, which threatened to erupt at any moment. It was also extremely painful. Needless to say, they had no clean bandages or disinfectants at home. Alice ran her gaze around her, trying to figure out what she could use at that exact moment. In the corner of her eye, she spied two tomatoes resting in a bowl. She took out one of them, slit its skin and shoved Mati’s thumb into it. “Mati, this is the best disinfectant that I can think of right now,” Alice said as she loosely wrapped a handkerchief around Mati’s thumb and the tomato. “You know that I picked up this bit of knowledge from my aunts, who were very wise. You will see that by tomorrow your wound will drain and the pain will subside. Natural remedies are much better than all the powders you can get at the pharmacy.” All Mati could do was let out a soft sigh. She could feel the pulse becoming ever heavier in her thumb. Alice accompanied her to bed. She could do nothing for Mati’s pain other than hold her hand and share with her the warmth of her body. Thus they both fell into an uneasy slumber. From time to time, Mati would wake up in tears and Alice would draw her closer to her breast. In the early hours of the morning, Alice noticed that her handkerchief had been stained with a green liquid and she knew that her home remedy had had the required effect. Mati woke up later than usual. Asher had already made everyone some tea. After the difficult night, Alice removed the handkerchief. There was no sign of the painful swelling. Mati smiled; the pain was gone. She could easily move her thumb and so she went back to work.
Alice would bring home soap bars from the hamam as gifts for the many friends, which, as had always been her wont, she had easily acquired. On her way home from work she frequented the local market. This was the place where everyone met everyone else. It hummed with a certain frequency that reminded her somewhat of the big city. Vendors offered their wares from atop large carts. Others had simply spread their offerings right on the sidewalk. Deep in thought one day, Alice bumped into Luna who was seated on the sidewalk with her girlfriend, leaning against a fence. In front of the two little girls there was a small pile of rotten plums, which they apparently proposed to sell. Alice, unnoticed, stood and watched. A long time had passed, passerby casting furtive glances at unappetizing fruit and quickening their steps, when suddenly and old man who leaned on a cane stopped by them. Clearly hard of sight, he felt the fruit with his hand and bought it for a few coins. Luna and her friends immediately got up and ran to the ice cream kiosk across the street. With all their money they bought heaping cones for each of them and sat down on the sidewalk to eat them. They smiled and giggled and were clearly having a good time. Alice smiled and thought to herself, this girl is a survivor. She has the initiative to get that which she desired. But where did she get the plums in the middle of winter? Perhaps she picked them up from the ground around one of the neighbors’ trees, left over from last fall. She would have to talk to her about that.
In comparison with most of Kyustendil’s new residents who had been thrust overnight into a different world, the Uziel family was holding its own. They seemed to overcome most of their challenges. Alice took pride in their ability to provide for themselves while others were still dependent on the largesse of the local Jewish community. There were still folks sleeping in the schoolhouse, while the Uziel’s had a small corner to call their own.
“As long as everyone is healthy and we have something to eat,” Asher used to say, “there is nothing to complain about.” But Alice always wanted more. It had occurred to her that it had been a long time since she last felt the object of romantic interest on Asher’s part. She arranged for Flora to take care of the girls for the night and prepared for a special evening.
Soon as he had set foot in the barn, Asher could sense an intoxicating smell. His Alice was seated by the makeshift table, on which a single candle had been lit, infusing the small space with an orange glow. Next to it on the table there stood a bowl of fragrant water and next to it his old shaving box. Alice was wearing a new dress that she fashioned from various scraps of material that she had found lying around and she smelled of perfume. Tears began pooling in Asher’s eyes. The memories of days gone by flooded his mind. How lucky he had been to find a wife like Alice. How come he lacked the necessary life force to always keep in mind the really important things? Had he not wanted the same? Had he not often wondered how he could pamper her, but he could never find the way. He felt quite weak and let Alice sweep him with her. He had long since made his peace with her being in the lead. She was the one in charge. Accustomed as he had become to following her lead, he simply did what he had always done, accepted her will. It would be a long time before Asher could forget that evening. She managed to make him feel young again. She reminded him that survival was not just food and shelter. The recipe for survival held things such as love, human warmth, affection, and mutual respect. She made him remember that there was more to life, that romance was the foundation for a couple’s happiness.
In her innermost thoughts, Alice knew that this was all temporary. They would not just be left alone to their own devices. The gove
rnment must have had something in mind when they deported them from Sofia. She began putting aside some cash for a rainier day.
Ten weeks had passed. Since their landlord had other uses for the barn in the springtime, they had to look for alternative lodgings. Alice procured for them a room on the second floor of a farmhouse belonging to an old woman, a widowed peasant. The rent was reasonable and the room had all the necessities; two beds, a large one and a smaller one suitable for the two girls. There was an old table of wood darkened with age and four chairs. There was also a fireplace, all blackened with soot, that looked like it hadn’t been used in generations. On the staircase landing, there was a tiny kitchen with a woodstove and a pantry. Alice tried to make the move into a festive occasion. They packed up their belongings, rented a horse-drawn cart, and sat up on the bench beside the driver. On their way over, Alice told them a story she had made up just for the occasion. “This is a story about a magnificent palace that had been cursed by an old witch to look like a wretched peasant shack. The witch did this so that people would forget about the great treasure that was hidden in the palace. And so it was. No one knew what had been hidden in the house until a new family came to live there, a mother, a father, and two little girls. A happy family, full of life. This family had always cared about other people. They led a simple life, content with what they had. On each Shabbat and holiday eve, the family sang songs together and brought a little joy to all who heard them. One winter night, when a terrible storm was raging outside, the family were huddled under one blanket, sharing their warmth with each other, their teeth knocking together.” Luna shifted closer to her mother and cuddled with her as if to stop herself from shivering when she suddenly felt the same chill that took hold of the family in the story. “Suddenly,” Alice continued, “a small fairy appeared and in a playful voice said, ‘you are kind-hearted people, always ready to help. Now, I shall help you. Know that this house is no ordinary house. In its cellars, it holds a vast treasure. If you take the stairs down and open that small door, you will see that I am right.’ ‘How shall we open the door,’ asked the mother of the family, her teeth chattering, ‘isn’t it locked?’ ‘Look for a hidden nook above the door. There, on a small hook, there hangs a two-pronged key. Use it and unlock the door,’ said the fairy as she vanished into thin air. The members of the small family looked at each other and decided that they had no choice but to try their luck and do as the fairy had told them. First, the father got down the stairs, soon followed by the mother and the two daughters. When they reached the cellar door, the father raised his arm, stood on tippy toe, and rummaged above the mantle with his fingers. Soon, he found the small key. He brushed off the dust from the key on his coattails and inserted it into the lock. As he turned the key, the door opened with an audible squeak and through the darkness they could all see that it was full of treasure chests, brimming with gold, silver, and various precious gemstones. The mother’s spirits sank and she began to cry. A small mouse that was scurrying by her because it was scared by all the commotion, stopped and asked her, ‘why are you crying?’ ‘I did not wish for gold and gemstones,’ she said. ‘All I ever wished for was some coal so I could warm up my girls.’ ‘Your wish can be granted,’ said the mouse. ‘Just touch the treasure and imagine it to be anything you wish it to be!’ Wiping her tears, the mother touched her hand to a chest full of brilliant diamonds and watched them immediately turn into lumps of coal. She put some of coals into her apron and hurried up the staircase. She put the coals into the old fireplace, lit a match, and the whole room lit up with light and warmth. The family spent that whole winter in a warm house full of joy. They never took any of the treasure, only taking as much coals as they needed.” Alice finished her story. The girls listened to her with their mouths open, never noticing the distance they had traveled. Asher let out a great sigh. “Say, should they not have used that treasure anyway?” Alice smiled. “That’s how stories are,” she said.
It did not take them long to get used to their new home. The old lady who owned it was almost never home. Neighbors gossiped that she was walking alone in the forests and that her mind had deserted her. Each night, she would come home loaded with baskets. No one knew what she had in them. Luna and Mati were scared of her and called her Baba Yaga. They ran and hid whenever they saw her.
Asher found a job with another farmer. He continued to transport manure form farms in the area, taking it far afield to be spread. His days began early and ended late. The curfew against Jews meant that they could not be out and about after dark. Every so often they had heard stories about Jews who were caught after dark and beaten by the fascist Bulgarian guards, a movement that was small, but managed to intimidate the rest of the town’s population. Asher often hid his yellow star under his coat. He did not look externally very Jewish and thus encountered no problems. When he came home smelling of manure, Alice had a large bowl of hot water ready for him to wash in and every morning he had fresh clean clothes to wear.
They did not have to wait long for the next disaster to hit. A special edict conscripted all the Jewish men to perform forced labor. In one day, all of them, those who were native to Kyustendil and those who were deported to it, were loaded up and taken to an unknown destination. They were told that they would work in road construction, building highways and railroads for the German war effort. Alice prepared for Asher a suitcase, in which she placed a few items of clothing and the few coins she had saved. “Perhaps you can pay someone to make your life a bit easier,” she said. Asher was surprised by her ability to save so much in such a short period of time. As to Alice, she hardly expected Asher to reassure her. After all, he was heading for the unknown. It was he who was going to suffer, she and the girls were doing fine. “Asher, we shall wait for you here,” she said, holding back her tears. “Know that you will find us here. We will make every effort to find out where they are taking you. If you can send us word by any means possible, please do so. Girls, daddy is going back to the army like he has done before. He will be back soon.”
When they reached the assembly point, Alice could see Flora taking leave from her husband. The leaders of the community, the rabbi, the school principal, young boys still in school, and even a few very old men, were all loaded up on trucks to the sound of sobbing from their families. Alice was left alone yet again.
Flora approached her and told her that before his departure her husband had manage to make it possible for her to return to her family in Plovdiv, seeing as not all the Jews from that city had yet been deported. She was in possession of a travel document and she was leaving the very next day. Alice was both moved and saddened by the news.
The entire responsibility of providing for her family now fell to Alice. She added hours to her work and was quite exhausted when the spring had finally come. The hamam management let her understand that soon they would have no more need of her, as the Jews were fewer in number and were not using the facilities very frequently. Alice could fathom that it had always been Flora’s influence that kept the job secured for her. She began selling her jewelry in exchange for bread and other food items. Despair was never far from her thoughts. How could she continue providing for herself and her daughters? For quite a while now she has been plagued by severe toothaches. She tried to alleviate the pain by gargling with a little perfume or with some arak she had lying around, but to no avail.
One particularly dreary early spring day, Alice and her daughters were sitting in their room, which was freezing cold. Alice did not wish to spend the little money she had on heating, especially since coal had become both expensive and scarce. At night, when they were huddling under a blanket and when all the layers of clothing they had put on could not turn away the bitter cold, Luna suddenly turned to Alice and said, “Mommy, do you remember the story you had told us on our way here? It was a story about a cold palace. Perhaps we too can find a treasure in the cellar. I have already found the small door, but I couldn’t unlock it.” Alice looked at Lun
a. “What do we have to lose? At least this will give us something to do,” she thought out loud. They went downstairs on their tippy toes so as not to wake “Baba Yaga” and found the door that Luna had mentioned. Just as in her story, Alice reached above the mantle and found a small key hanging on a hook. She examined it and sure enough, it had two prongs. Was this a dream? Alice opened the door, from behind which rolled out a few pine cones. “This peasant woman is smart. Every day she went out and collected pine cones so that she would have what to use for heat when the coal ran out. It must be fate that led us here. Girls, look what we have found. There is enough here to keep us warm through the rest of the cold season. There is no need to tell our host that we have found her stash. We will take two pails of cones every day, no more. This is not stealing, we must do what we can to survive.” The two girls were amazed at Alice’s ability to foretell their future in her story. Their landlady was clearly the evil witch, but did that make their mother into a fairy or a prophet?
One afternoon, Alice dressed the girls and took them to the local dentist, a woman, about whom she had heard that she had been reasonable with her prices. In her purse, Alice placed the sapphire brooch she had received as a wedding gift, with which she had intended to pay for her treatment. “You see girls how important it is to have a good profession. When you grow up, one of you must become a dentist. There is never a shortage of work in that trade. The waiting room had been crowded with people, but Alice noticed that there were no Jews among them. When it was her turn, she was afraid to leave Mati and Luna behind and asked permission to bring them with her into the treatment room. “They will be quiet and will not disturb,” she promised, imploringly. The dentist was a woman of exceptional beauty, tall and regal. Her hair was made into a braid and then pinned high on her head. She allowed the girls to stay. Alice sat down on the dentist’s chair and was immediately diagnosed with a number of problems. The dentist said that she would take care of the most urgent problems and would invite her back to take care of the rest. As she was working, she kept stealing looks at the girls, giving Alice cause for alarm. “Who knitted these wonderful sweaters for you,” she asked. “Mother did,” they answered in unison. The dentist looked back at Alice. “Do you think you can knit sweaters like these for my daughters,” she asked. “Of course,” Alice immediately replied. The doctor finished the treatment, gave Alice some money to buy yarn, and invited her to a follow-up treatment after three days. Alice, who felt much better now that her toothache was gone, knitted for three days and three nights, producing two colorful sweaters; one with a design of butterflies and the other with gorgeous rose petals. When she dozed off, Luna made her hot tea, woke her up, and sat by her side so that she could keep knitting. Alice told Luna about her aunts, Tanti Sarah and Tanti Suzanne, who taught her how to knit and embroider and who told her that every woman had to know how to improvise and make things. That was why they had taught her all the housekeeping skills and always repeated to her that she would never know when she would need to use them. Luna could not keep her eyes off her mother’s work and helped Alice count the stitches for the flowers and the butterflies. Once the work was done, Alice placed the sweaters into a nice package and returned to the clinic. The doctor was enchanted with the result. “This is truly unique. I have never seen such beautiful sweaters. My daughters will love them! I am so happy, Alice, that I got to meet you.” She continued with the treatment and told Alice that she would not charge her for it since the value of the two sweaters had been more than sufficient. When Alice returned home, she took the sapphire brooch out of her purse, kissed it, and placed it back into its hiding place in the little closet under the folded sheets. “We used to say that the Ketubah should be kept safe in the closet under the sheets. My Ketubah is this brooch, which I have received from my dear husband on our wedding day. I must guard it all my life. I shall never again think of selling it; its value is far too great.” That was how she explained to her daughters why she had been so happy that day.