‘Er, yeah, yes. I was thirsty, came down for something to drink. We chatted. You didn’t need to get him to come over.’
‘I didn’t ask him, he offered.’
‘Oh.’ That surprised me.
‘What did you talk about?’
‘Oh, you know, nothing really.’ I shovelled some eggs in my mouth so I didn’t have to talk. He was still looking at me. I swallowed. ‘You know – school, London, that sort of thing.’
‘Speaking of which – you need to call Dad.’
I grimaced at him. Jack ignored me and pushed his plate aside, got up and left the room. A second later he was back with a phone in his hand.
I took it reluctantly.
He gave me a brief smile. ‘Good luck.’
I dialled the number he handed me. The country code was +39. Italy, I thought. Dad was still away, then. Some things never changed. I did the maths – it would be about midnight. Hopefully he’d be sleeping and be too groggy to argue with me much. The phone gave a long beep, pause, another long beep, pause. I wondered how many beeps I should wait for before I could legitimately hang up and still claim I’d tried.
But then there was a click and a ‘Hello?’
He didn’t sound groggy, the total opposite in fact. I could picture him pacing the room as he spoke.
‘Hi, Dad.’ This was awkward. Jack was watching me so I walked into the hallway. I heard a sigh on the other end of the phone.
‘So, Lila, are you going to tell me why you are in California, when you should be in London?’
It wasn’t as though I hadn’t expected him to ask the question but I still hadn’t prepared an answer.
‘I – I just needed to see Jack, Dad.’
Nothing.
‘I miss him.’
My dad sighed again. ‘I know, Lila. But couldn’t you just have called him?’
He had a point. ‘Yes, probably, but I didn’t really think. I wanted to see him.’
‘Lila. You need to come home.’ Here it came.
‘Dad, I like it here.’ I could hear the panic in my voice. Oh, what the hell, at least there were several thousand miles between us, might as well lay it all on the line. ‘I want to stay.’
‘It’s the middle of the school term.’
I stepped further away from the open front door so my words wouldn’t carry inside. ‘It’s revision-time. I’m fine missing a couple of weeks. And, actually, I’ve been thinking—’
‘Lila, I want you home.’
‘Dad, you’re not even there. What am I coming home to?’
He was silent for a long time. I could hear his breathing and the static on the line humming.
‘I’m sorry, Lila. It’s just work is—’
‘I get it, Dad. You don’t need to apologise.’ I needed him to see that whatever painkiller or distraction his work offered him was what being here with Jack – and with Alex – offered me. ‘Can you understand that sometimes it’s hard for me, too? Being away from Jack and being on my own so much?’
He was still silent.
‘I want to stay, Dad. I want to stay with Jack.’ And with Alex. ‘I don’t want to come home.’
As soon as I said the words I realised that I was prepared to fight hard to make it happen. My dad would have to extradite me if he wanted me back home. It was my life and I was sick to death of being told where I was going to live and what was best for me. Of course there was the little detail of money and the fact that until I turned eighteen in October, which was five months away, I was still legally a child, but I’d deal with that later.
‘Lila, we’re not having this conversation. You’re coming home. I’ll fly back tonight and meet you off the plane. I don’t want you over there.’
‘Why?’ I was more determined now than angry.
He hesitated. Maybe he was realising for the first time that I was defying him and there was little he could do about it other than flying to San Diego to confront me. But I knew he’d never come back here – the memories of my mother worked better than an electric fence and barbed wire at keeping him out. He’d told me he was never coming back and while Jack regularly accused me of being melodramatic, the same couldn’t be said about my dad, so I believed him.
‘Lila, there are things you don’t understand. Reasons I don’t want you there. Even with Jack.’
‘Oh my God, please don’t tell me you’re worried about my safety too?’ I almost yelled. It was so frustrating this compulsion he and Jack had of wrapping me up in cotton wool and treating me like I was a china doll. ‘How am I any less safe here than living in Brixton?’
‘Let me speak to your brother.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I have to ask him something.’
I took a deep breath. Talking to Jack was not going to help my campaign much. ‘OK, I’ll put him on.’
I covered the mouthpiece and walked back into the living room where Jack was still sitting. His hands were motionless on the keys of his laptop and I could tell he had been listening.
‘He wants to talk to you,’ I said.
Jack frowned at me then closed the laptop with a snap. He swivelled in his chair and held out his hand for the phone. I handed it to him, begging him with my eyes. I didn’t have much hope. It seemed that Jack and my dad agreed on only one thing and that was on me going home.
I hovered by his chair, trying to hear what my dad was saying, but Jack got up and stood by the bookshelf, turning his back on me.
‘No – I told you that already – she is.’ He was behaving like a hostile witness. ‘She can – OK. Yes, that’s fine.’
A pause.
‘You know I will. It won’t be the end of it, though, you do realise that? You should ask her yourself. I’ll put her back on, hang on.’
I took the phone, my hand trembling a little. ‘Hey, Dad.’
He got straight to the point. ‘What did Jack mean when he said that this wouldn’t be the end of it?’
‘I told you. I want to stay. I don’t want to go back to London. I’ve been thinking I could transfer over here to finish high school – then go on to college.’
‘You are kidding me, right? You can’t go to school over there!’
I started to protest but he cut me off. ‘You can stay for two weeks now’ – I started to interrupt but he just talked louder – ‘and we’ll talk things through when you get back.’
I mulled it over. It wasn’t a great compromise. But I didn’t have much choice.
‘OK. You promise we’ll discuss it, though? It’s not just a ruse to get me home?’
‘No. I promise you we’ll discuss it.’
‘Thanks, Dad,’ I whispered.
Jack was frowning at me, his green eyes darkening.
‘I love you.’
‘I love you too.’
I hung up and put the receiver back on its base.
‘What did he say?’ Jack was sitting on the sofa, his arms on his knees, his hands clasped.
‘He said I could stay two weeks. And that we’d discuss college.’ As I said the words they rattled inside me. Two weeks was no time at all. And then there was another whole year before I could come back. If Dad even let me. He might just want to discuss with me the reasons why he wasn’t going to let me step foot in the States ever again.
‘Well, then,’ Jack said, getting up slowly from the sofa. ‘I guess we’d better make some plans for the next couple of weeks. Make sure you have some fun.’
I thought about offering some suggestions, but they all involved Alex and scenarios with just the two of us and I didn’t think Jack would be interested in hearing those.
6
‘Who’s Suki, Jack?’
‘What?’
It was a few hours later and I was chopping tomatoes at the kitchen counter. I had a fetching apron on over my dress and had pulled my hair up into a loose ponytail to keep the strands out of my face. Jack had been upstairs getting dressed. When he came back into the kitchen I asked him the quest
ion that had been running around my head ever since he’d mentioned Sara was coming over this evening.
‘Suki. Who is she?’
‘What?’ Jack’s brows knitted together in confusion.
‘Let me refresh your memory: Japanese, beautiful, slightly strange.’
The confusion cleared on Jack’s face, only to be replaced by a look that wiped the laughter from my lips.
‘Where did you meet her?’ he demanded abruptly.
‘She was here earlier. When I got back from my run. I caught her peering through the letter box. She was looking for you.’
He took me by the shoulders. ‘Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?’ His voice had a hard edge to it.
‘Um, you weren’t in the best of moods?’
‘Lila, this is important. What did she look like?’
‘I just told you. Maybe you should take snapshots of the girls you get together with, Jack, save you the embarrassing memory failure.’
His fingers dug into my shoulder. ‘Lila. Answer the question. What did she look like?’
‘I told you – Japanese, like a model or something, and she was dressed in very weird clothes for round here.’
‘How tall? About this high?’ He indicated a height an inch or so shorter than me.
I thought about it, trying to factor in her high heels. ‘Yes, I suppose so.’
‘Was her hair cut like this?’ He held his hand at an angle to his face.
I nodded. So he did know her then.
‘Did you talk to her?’
‘Yes.’
‘What did she say?’
‘She asked if I lived here and when she found out I was your sister she looked pretty relieved. That’s how I guessed she was someone you had . . . well, you know.’
He didn’t seem to hear the last part. ‘You told her you were my sister?’ He turned away from me, pulling his phone out of his back pocket.
‘Who is she?’ I was really confused now.
‘It’s not important.’
I arched an eyebrow. ‘So is this something I shouldn’t mention to Sara?’
He paused, about to hit a speed-dial button, and turned back to face me. ‘Lila, this is not what you think.’
I sensed that he was telling the truth, so stopped myself giving him my usual sceptical look.
‘Stay here,’ he said, walking into the hallway.
I looked around the kitchen – the sauce on the hob was simmering and the salad lay half chopped on the cutting board. ‘I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.’
About ten minutes later, Jack walked back in. He came over to where I was laying the table and put his arm around my shoulder.
‘Alex will be over in a bit. He’s joining us.’
I tried to act nonchalant, even though the butterflies in my stomach had started to riot. ‘I’ll set another place, then. So did you just call him? About Suki? What’s going on?’ I asked, as I laid out the extra place.
‘It’s nothing to worry about. She’s just someone we’re interested in talking to.’
‘Talking to? I watch CSI, Jack, I know what that means. What did she do?’ Curiosity layered my words. What on earth could a girl not much older than me, in killer heels, have done to interest a Marine unit like Jack’s? A thought struck me – maybe it was vice after all.
‘Nothing. We just want to talk to her about some information she might have.’
‘What information?’ I was like a terrier hanging on to his trouser leg but still he shook me off.
‘You know I can’t tell you.’
‘Yeah, I know, “or you’d have to kill me”. Really, that’s getting so old. You’re going to have to think of a better line.’ I pressed my lips together. He obviously wasn’t going to give anything away. Now my imagination was running wild. Who was she that he was this anxious about her being near the house – and near me? She hadn’t looked dangerous – slightly kooky, maybe, but the most dangerous thing about her had been her hair: one flick of that bob would probably have sliced me in two.
The doorbell rang and I jumped.
Jack went to answer it while I waited in the kitchen. I had a sudden thought that it might be Suki, trying her luck again, but just then Alex’s voice reached me from the hallway. I pulled my hairband out, tore the apron off over my head, shook out my hair and took several deep breaths. I could hear the two of them murmuring in the hallway, so I tiptoed behind the door to hear better.
‘. . . not sure, we need to find out, though, and we can’t leave—’
Alex stopped talking suddenly and turned his head in my direction.
‘Hi, Lila,’ he called.
I stepped out from behind the door, feeling my cheeks blazing.
‘Hi.’
Alex was smiling at me but I could see the tension in his eyes. He came into the kitchen.
Jack gestured at his phone. ‘I’m just going to call Sara and see where she is.’
As always when I was alone with Alex I felt the atmosphere charge slightly, my body start to fizzle with static. Out of the corner of my eye I watched him move to the fridge and open the door. He had his back to me, scanning the contents, so I turned my head to watch him. He was wearing jeans again, though a darker pair than he’d had on yesterday. They were a good fit. A really good fit. And his grey T-shirt revealed the line of muscle running across his shoulders. Ow. I realised I was biting my bottom lip.
He turned and I looked away, flustered, spattering myself with hot water.
‘So, good day?’
I turned back to face him. He was now sitting at the table with a Coke in his hand. It hadn’t been a great day but it was definitely getting better.
It was hard to stay coherent when I looked in his eyes so I turned back to the pasta to give it a stir. ‘Jack made me call Dad. He probably told you.’
‘Yes, he did mention it.’
‘They cut a deal over me. I can stay for two weeks.’ I risked a peek at him to see if I could gauge his reaction. His face was unreadable. ‘I’m not done fighting, Alex. I am coming back.’ I said this to the pasta, which was blurring in the pan I was stirring it so fast.
Alex gave a soft laugh. ‘You never did give up on anything you wanted.’
If only he knew the truth of that one. I put the wooden spoon down on the side and let the pasta spin to a stop in the pan. Checking that Jack was still out of earshot, I turned to Alex. ‘Why is Jack still so angry with Dad?’
He frowned at this slightly, his sky-blue eyes turning cloudy, then let out a big sigh. ‘I know it’s difficult for you being stuck between them. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but you know Jack – he’s even more stubborn than you.’ He was giving me a half-smile, so I smiled grudgingly back.
‘But what’s it about?’
‘That’s not something I can tell you, Lila.’
‘Oh for God’s sake.’ I kept my voice low but the frustration crept in. ‘Why won’t either of you tell me anything?’
Alex didn’t say anything. He stood up, though, and came towards me. For one minuscule moment I thought that he was going to put his arms around me, but he just stretched past me to pick up the wooden spoon I’d left on the side and moved to the hob to give the pasta sauce a stir. It had gone off the boil. I stood waiting for him to finish, waiting for him to answer me.
He turned the gas off and turned to face me again.
‘Lila, there are a lot of things we just can’t tell you. I know that must be frustrating but you have to trust us.’
I let that sink in for a second. ‘You’re both asking me to trust you all the time. But neither of you will trust me.’
‘Not now,’ he said.
I scowled at him but he just shook his head ever so slightly, giving me a warning look. My scowl turned to a frown, but before I could ask why, he had stepped past me.
‘Hey, Sara,’ he said smoothly.
I turned around.
My first thought was that I could totally see why my brother had fal
len for her. Sara was gorgeous, but not in an obvious way. She had waves of dark brown hair falling down below her shoulders and lustrous olive skin. Her eyes were chestnut-coloured and set wide in her face. She smiled at me, and I liked her immediately.
‘It’s so lovely to meet you,’ she said, stepping forward and giving me a hug. ‘I’ve heard so much about you.’
‘Oh dear,’ I said, looking at Jack, who was standing beside her.
She laughed, reaching for his hand. ‘No, no – all good, believe me.’
I wondered how much Jack had shared with her and glanced at Alex. He had gone back to the stove to salvage the remains of the dinner I’d abandoned.
‘I think I have you to thank for domesticating Jack,’ I said. I really meant taming.
‘Ahhh well, it was my pleasure,’ Sara said with a smile in Jack’s direction. ‘But, really, Jack didn’t need much help. I had a bit of a hand in the decorating, is all. He was following a pretty minimalist approach to furniture, shall we say, when I first met him. Alex still is – have you seen his place yet?’
‘No. Not yet.’
Alex still hadn’t said anything and I wondered what he was thinking. Would I ever get a chance to see this minimalist ‘bachelor pad’ of his? The image in my head changed from silk sheets and mirrored ceilings to a single futon and white walls. Definitely preferable.
Alex put the loaded plates on the table and we took our seats. He pulled out the chair to my right, his leg stretched out so close to me that my own leg jumped like a cricket and smacked into the tabletop, rattling the plates and glasses. I looked down, horrified, and pressed my hand on my thigh to stop it from happening again.
‘So, how long are you staying?’ Sara asked, as we started to eat.
I looked at Jack. Had he told her? I was sure he would have. But he was paying me no heed, continuing to look at Sara like I’d seen him look at fast cars in his previous incarnation as my teenage brother. Whatever Sara’s secret power was, I wanted it so I could use it on Alex.
‘Two weeks,’ I said. ‘For now.’
‘Great! Plenty of time to get to know each other, then.’
I didn’t miss the look Alex shot across the table at Jack, but I chose to ignore it and to focus instead on Sara. But it was difficult focusing on anything, even my brother’s beautiful girlfriend, with Alex so close. I could sense every subtle shift in his body. My eyes caught the ripple of tendons as his forearm tensed and I knew he was thinking about something. Worrying about something.
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