by LeAnn Ashers
I saw the bruise on Leah, and I know that will haunt me. I need to check in with the director of the center before I can report the abuse. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
I’m ready to crawl into bed with a glass of wine and just let the day disappear.
Hands, touches, pain.
I wake up, sitting up in bed, my heart pounding. I clench my eyes shut, trying to ignore everything that just happened in my brain.
A few minutes pass before I allow myself to sink back into bed. I pull the blankets up around me. On either side of me is a huge body pillow. They make me feel safe and stop the feeling something is going to drag me out of bed.
At moments like this, I wish I had someone to come home to. Someone to hold. Most of all, someone to love me.
Me and relationships literally don’t work. I think I have a douchebag magnet pressed onto my forehead, because that is literally all I attract. But I always shut down the budding relationship before it gets anywhere.
One thing I know is that I don’t want to get hurt, and if I can protect myself, why not?
It’s a lonely life though. I dedicate myself to helping others, and I know that I have been neglecting myself. But when I do try, it just ends badly. I don’t know what it would be like if a man treated me well, which is why I have pushed dating to the back of my mind.
Taking my phone off the nightstand, I notice that I have a text. I open it.
Hey, it’s Aiden. Do you want to grab dinner tomorrow?
Oh wow, I never thought that he would actually message me. I sit up before I reply.
Wait, should I do this? Is this a good idea?
What do I have to lose? I am already in a lonely existence.
Hey, that sounds great. Seven?
I put my phone back on the nightstand and try to go back to sleep, this time with a smile on my face and without the nightmares that I try to forget.
2
Grace
Around four o’clock the bus drops the kids off in front of the center, and I open the door.
I have been here since around two o’clock so I could prepare their dinner. We don’t have nearly enough volunteers, so I am a jack-of-all-trades. I even took one of the kids to the doctor one time; her parents had asked me to because they had to work.
My goal is just to make a difference in one of these babies’ lives. I want this to be a place where they can escape.
“Miss Gracie?” I look around and see Leah in the doorway. She’s wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
“Hey sweetheart, how are you today?” I set a container of juice on the counter.
She slips into the room. “I talked to my father, and he said that I can play softball.” She grins ear to ear.
“How exciting! I will give you the paperwork before you leave, so he can sign.” I touch the top of her head. “Do you want to help me?”
She takes the carton of juice and leans back at the weight. “You sure you have it?” I reach out to catch it if necessary
She nods. “I got it, Miss Gracie.”
I grin at her retreating form; she is absolutely precious. I take the fries out of the stove. We let them vote on what they wanted to eat, and we’re having burgers and fries. I put the fries on their plates, which are sitting on a cart, and push the cart into the cafeteria.
“Hi, Miss Gracie!” a few of the kids yell, and Leah sits down at the end of the table. I put a plate in front of her.
“Thank you.”
One by one, I pass their plates out; then I grab my own and sit down with them. This is my favorite part of the day with them; I can get down on their level.
“Miss Gracie, I scored a ninety-five percent on my spelling test,” Matthew, one of the older kids, tells me.
“Wow, congrats. I knew you could do it,” I say. We actually studied together last week.
One by one, I have a conversation with each of them, and once they are finished they set their plates on the cart. Someone will wash them later. I need to get ready for my date. “Everyone get started on your homework.” They all run to get their backpacks. “I will be back in a few minutes to check on you guys.”
I already have my bag in the bathroom, and I hurry in to change. I put on a pair of white skinny jeans and a royal-blue open-shouldered shirt. I take out my curling wand, and I’m curling my hair when I hear a knock on the door. I peer out and see Leah.
“Can I watch?”
I smile. “Sure, honey.” I push the door open, and she steps inside and sits down on the toilet.
I style my hair in loose, wavy curls that frame my face. My hair is long and dark brown with blond highlights. I have big brown eyes and a few freckles covering my cheeks and nose. My nose is small and pert, and my lips are large. I have a dimple on each cheek and high cheekbones.
My body is curvy; I have a big butt, big boobs, and a small waist. I love my body; it’s something that I’ve always liked about myself.
“You’re very pretty, Miss Gracie,” Leah tells me.
“Thank you, sweetheart. So are you.”
She beams at me happily. “You really think so?”
“Yes, you’re very beautiful, but you’re also beautiful in here.” I point to her chest.
She walks over and hugs me, her face pressed into my stomach. “Thank you, Miss Gracie.”
I hug her back. “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”
She lets me go and I finish my hair. The closer it gets to time for Aiden to pick me up, here at the center, the more nervous I am. I’m scared for so many reasons. Most of my dates haven’t been the best; it seems that I attract the crazy ones. I’m also nervous because Aiden is, hands down, the most attractive guy I have gone out with. I just hope that it goes well tonight.
I finish my hair and touch up my makeup; then I am done. I stand back from the mirror, checking one last time.
I am as ready as I ever will be.
It’s almost seven o’clock, and all the kids in the center have gone home. I made sure to give Leah my number and the papers to sign to play softball.
My phone buzzes in my back pocket, and I see a text from Aiden, letting me know he is outside. That’s when the nerves hit me full force. First off—holy hell, I am going on a date with the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I close my eyes, trying to stop my growing panic. What if he’s too much?
My fear is buried deep. I’m afraid of men in general. I have seen the worst of humanity, and I’m terrified of encountering anything like that again. Because if someone who is supposed to love and care for you more than anything can hurt you, why wouldn’t someone else?
Stop! I command myself. I need to stop these thoughts from thundering through my brain or I will be in a funk.
Throwing caution to the wind, I text Aiden and let him know that I am on my way out. I step outside and lock the door behind me. He’s standing outside of his truck, grinning at me.
I swallow hard. His arms are folded across his chest; they’re covered in tattoos and his muscles are bulging. He has on his glasses. They give him that sexy geek look but I know, underneath all of that, he is pure badass.
One, two, three, I chant to myself, and I start in his direction.
“Wow, you look absolutely amazing!”
I smile widely. “Thank you, Aiden.” I can feel my cheeks start to warm under his gaze.
He splits the distance between us and walks with me to the passenger side of his truck. He opens the door for me.
“Thank you.”
I climb inside and he shuts the door. I close my eyes, begging myself to stay calm and not overthink every single thing. That is one of the biggest things I wish I didn’t do. I see things and I think the worst. It’s especially bad in relationships; when someone comes on too strong, it literally ruins the whole relationship. I get scared and crawl within myself, and I just have to get out of there.
Aiden gets in and starts the truck, and we’re off. I place my hands in my lap, rubbing my t
humbs together. It’s a nervous habit.
He breaks the silence. “Are you from here originally?”
“Yes, I have lived here my whole life.” I take a second to look at him while he’s driving. He really is beautiful.
“Did you go to school here to0?”
“Yeah, I went to Fairmont High School.”
He slows down the truck and looks at me; then he grins widely. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-five.”
He throws his head back, laughing loudly. My eyes widen at the sight of him letting go so easily. “I dated you when I was fifteen.”
Wait, what? I think back to my first boyfriend. We dated for a few months before going our separate ways. He was my first kiss.
My mouth pops open as the dots connect. The glasses, the dark hair and eyes. “Oh my god! Aidey?” I used to call him that.
He nods, still smiling. “It’s my Gracie.”
I fall back against my seat laughing. Who would have thought this would happen? I know one thing: I immediately feel better because I know him. “Wow, I never expected to see you again. Let alone go out on a date with you,” I confess as everything slowly starts to sink in.
“Gracie, it seems that fate had a play in this.” He winks, and I laugh again because he is still a big cheese ball like he was back then.
“Do you remember what you got me for my birthday?” I ask him. I still have it, actually.
He blinks a few times before he chuckles. “I gave you a box that had my picture glued to the bottom of it. I said I was the best gift you could have, and then we started dating immediately after that.”
I snort. I was so impressed with how cocky he was that I agreed to be his girlfriend. Plus, I always copied his homework, so it was a win-win. It’s hard to believe that was so long ago.
He looks at me, flashing that shit-eating grin. “Damn, I was good.”
I laugh. “I guess you were. I was impressed.” It’s hard to believe that I am going on a date with my first-ever boyfriend and I didn’t even realize it until he mentioned it.
His looks have completely changed. Back when I dated him—and mind you we were both fourteen at the time—he was a major dork.
I would not call him that now. He does have that slight vibe, but he has this bad-boy vibe that every single girl secretly loves.
A few minutes later we pull up outside the best restaurant in town; sometimes it takes weeks to get a reservation. “How did you get in?” I ask him.
“We own it.” He gets out before I can start throwing a million different questions at him. I have heard the MC has a lot of businesses, but I never expected this place to be one of them.
I open my door, and he holds out his hand for me to take. I set my palm on his. After he helps me out of the truck, he doesn’t let go of my hand like I thought he would. We walk hand and hand to the front door. Don’t ask me why this is such a big deal to me, but as someone who has always had issues with being touched, every little thing is a big deal.
He holds the door open for me, and we walk inside. The hostess is standing holding two menus. I peek over at Aiden just as he smiles at me. His smile reaches all the way to his eyes, making him ten times more beautiful. It lights his whole face. When I was fourteen he constantly had me laughing; he was always doing sweet and cheesy things.
A hand is pressed to the small of my back, and I look over at Aiden as we follow the waitress to our table, next to a window overlooking the town. Aiden pulls out my chair for me, and I sit down with a smile. Such a gentleman. Then he sits down in front of me. My nerves were extremely bad in the beginning, but I’m relieved that I kind of know him, even though we were very young.
“Wow, it’s really hard to believe that it’s you, Aiden.” I study his face. He still has the glasses, but everything else has completely changed. His hairstyle, the tattoos—and he is huge. He is probably around six-three or -four.
“And you are very different, CiCi.” The corner of his mouth slightly curls.
I grin. For some unknown reason, he called me CiCi from the very beginning. “I haven’t heard that name in such a long time.”
He leans forward on his elbows. “Of course you haven’t. I was the only one who called you that.”
Butterflies swarm my belly. “You were.” I look down at my menu. I can feel him looking at me, but I don’t dare look up. The longer I ignore his stares, the hotter my face becomes.
“You were beautiful back then, but now you’re absolutely stunning, CiCi.”
My mouth opens slightly at his confession. I put my menu down and smile widely. “Thank you, Aiden. You’re still as big of a sweetheart as you were back then.”
He sits back in his seat hard, glaring at me slightly, but I can see the laughter in his eyes. “Now, a man like me isn’t sweet, CiCi.”
I laugh because the only thing that can describe this man is sweet. I wink at him. “Your secret is safe with me, Aiden.”
He chuckles, running his hand across the top of his head, slightly mussing up his hair.
“Hi, what can I get you guys to drink?” the waitress asks.
“I will take a glass of red wine,” I tell her and Aiden orders a beer, which is one thing that I can’t stomach.
“I saw you as a red wine girl. Still reading those romance novels?” He winks.
My stomach flips. “I can’t believe that you remembered that.”
He throws his head back laughing, a vein popping out on the side of his neck. Once he gains control of himself, he grins at me. “How can I forget?” My face burns with embarrassment.
This was the first time that Aiden ever came to my house. I was scared out of my mind, but I was so excited
We snuck off to my room. We sat around and binge-watched movies for a couple of hours, made out, and just cuddled, but then I went to the bathroom.
I came back, and he had found my stash of romance novels. I know, at fourteen, that is not something I should have been reading, but I devoured them.
I remember standing there, horrified. I had left my bookmark on a sex scene. Aiden looked up at me with a shit-eating grin on his face.
What did I do, you may ask? I ran outside and hid.
“Imagine my shock, looking over at the table and seeing a full-blown romance novel,” he says. “Then you ran outside and hid from me for thirty minutes.” He bursts out laughing again.
I lean back in my chair with my arms crossed, pouting because he is calling me out. He stops laughing, eyeing me. “You know I’m teasing you, CiCi.”
I stop my fake pouting before I start laughing. “I was mortified, especially at fourteen and being caught red-handed.” I unfold my silverware from my napkin.
“Yeah, especially considering what I read.”
I gasp dramatically and throw my napkin across the table, hitting him in the chest.
“Ouch, killer,” he says.
The waiter breaks the moment as she brings our drinks. “Do you guys need a few more minutes to order?”
“Yes please.” I haven’t even looked at the menu. I take a sip of my wine.
“I figured you would order the crab legs, since that is your favorite—or it used to be.”
My eyes widen. “You remember that?”
He shrugs. “I remember a lot about you, CiCi.”
I smile. How absolutely out-of-this-world sweet is he? I gaze at him.
He glances at his menu for a second before looking at me again. “What is it?” he asks.
“I remember a lot about you too.” I wink at him, and I have to say I am mighty proud of myself for accomplishing that feat. It’s taken many years to learn to wink without closing both eyes at the same time.
He lays his menu down on the table. “Oh yeah, tell me some things.”
I smirk. “I remember, first off, that you’re a major momma’s boy.”
He laughs. “She spoiled you too, CiCi.” He is one hundred percent correct. I really did love his mother. Honestly, she was someone I nee
ded very much in my life. Yes, I was fourteen but I was dealing with A LOT.
I lived with my grandparents at the time. My grandpa was really amazing, but my grandmother seemed to not like me very much. It was as if I were the reason for all of her troubles, even if she stubbed her toe. I’m not even going to get started on my parents.
“She really did. How is she doing, by the way?” I ask.
“She is doing great, enjoying babysitting tonight.” I grin at that. She was probably chomping at the bit to babysit.
I know one thing: I am very curious about where his baby’s mom is. I know that she isn’t around, but I don’t know how to approach the topic. I open my mouth to ask, but then I close it. What if that is in bad taste?
He is studying me. “You want to know about Reid’s mom, right?”
I wince on the inside, being called out. “You don’t have to tell me, Aiden,” I whisper.
“He is adopted. I adopted him a couple of months ago from a trafficking ring.”
I stare at him in complete shock. I never expected that. I honestly thought that Reid’s mother just left Aiden to take care of the baby by himself.
“Wow, Aiden, I had no clue.” I don’t know what to say, but that is an amazing thing he is doing.
“He may not be mine biologically, but he is my son.”
In that moment the way I see Aiden completely changes; my respect for him increases tenfold. “You’re pretty amazing, you know that?” I had to say something because not many people would do what he is doing without a second thought.
“CiCi, it’s no hardship for me—this is my baby. That is all there is to it.” He brushed off the compliment like it was nothing, but I know one thing: I am not brushing it off that easily.
“If you say so.”
We step out of the restaurant around a hour later, and the cool night is refreshing. Aiden is walking close to my side. I have noticed that he is always watching his surroundings.
“Do you want to go night fishing?” he asks.
I gasp dramatically, holding my chest. “Do I ever? I am down to go fishing all the time.”