When he kisses me, the floor splits open, swallowing me whole, and catapults me to the past. To a past where I’m not a divorced, jaded woman starting her life over at nearly thirty years old.
At this moment, Aiden makes me feel like the twenty-year-old girl I used to be. One with hope for the future, optimistic that anything can happen. Hope that I’ll be happy and finally find what I’m looking for.
Aiden kisses me with promise, even though I’m not sure it’s valid.
How can he be real when he’s in the past?
I shouldn’t be enjoying his lips on mine. I shouldn’t want him at all. Aiden is the one guy I shouldn’t want. But here I am, letting his tongue push my mouth open. Letting him grip my hair so tightly—so sexy—as he pulls me against him by my waist.
Even though my job is at stake. Even though it ended badly the first time. Even though what happened between us threatens to rip through my heart—again.
It’s hard to think straight right now, of all this will cost me, because he feels too good. This thing between us is too strong.
So, I kiss him back.
Sinking into him, I kiss Aiden Baxter because deep down, my heart—all the jagged pieces of it—never let him go. No matter how broken it is, his mere existence in my life has given me a shred of twisted joy. A second chance. Something to dream of, even if it’s for one night only.
I melt into his kiss, his body, him.
I go willingly when he turns me toward the bed and sets me down. Hovering over me, he threads his fingers through my hair and wraps his free arm around my waist to scoot me higher until the cool glass of the window hits my back.
He nips at my bottom lip.
Fingers the belt around my pants.
Sends shivers down my spine.
His hand fists my shirt, pulling it out of my waistband, then reaches underneath until his fingertips graze the underwire of my bra, making me gasp into his mouth.
It seemingly fuels him to move more urgently.
He drags his eager lips across my jawline, down to my neck below my ear, and nips at me, then sucks on that spot.
My lungs seize.
He pulls my shirt over my head, then tugs on my pants as he captures my lips again, his tongue delving in to fight with mine in a deliciously painful way as we fight for control.
For power.
We pant, moving with urgent lust, both our arousals mixing in the air around us.
When he curls his thumbs around my panties, I’m very aware of his knuckles against my bare flesh, and everything that comes next feels like it’s happening in slow motion. He pulls my panties down to my ankles, lifting one leg at a time to remove them the rest of the way.
He places a kiss on my calf.
A kiss on my knee.
Hooking my leg around his waist, he trails more kisses up my inner thigh, then deeply inhales.
When he drags his tongue up the seam of me, my hips buck. The top of his head comes in and out of view as my chest rises and falls.
I pant.
I squirm.
I give in to each sensation, and the desire pools between my legs the longer he teases me.
The cool surface of the window on my back jolts me, and when Aiden’s tongue finds the right spot, the tension builds.
Behind me, a whole world exists. One that’s a blur—invisible—as Aiden continues working me to the edge of ecstasy.
He switches from licking to sucking on that sensitive spot, making my eyes fly open. “Yes… yes, Aiden, right… there.” I gasp.
He sinks his finger into me, hooking it inside me, and I move with him.
His mouth. His finger.
I thrust my hips upward in a frenzy until I reach my climax. He holds my hip down with his free hand, letting me ride the waves of my pleasure.
When my breaths are even, he stands, pulling his pants down, freeing his length. I instinctively lick my lips, and his eyes widen.
They grow darker.
Hungrier.
I want to scream. To beg. To tug him closer.
A feral sound escapes from deep in his throat as he kisses me again.
It’s raw.
Passionate.
Electrifying.
“I’m on the pill,” I breathe against his lips and lower myself, lying all the way down, and he positions himself at my entrance.
Without a wasted moment, he thrusts into me. Wrapping my leg around him, he angles himself deeper inside me, and I cling to his shoulders, adjusting to the size of him. He pushes against the glass above my head with his free hand, using it to brace himself as he pumps in and out of me.
I let my head fall back, bumping against the window with a delicious pain that I welcome.
The bed squeaks with every thrust.
With one hand, I reach up the ridges of his abs, to his pecs, wanting to feel him. Wanting to feel his heart thundering there.
For this moment.
For me.
After all these years, we’re together again.
There’s an aching desire deep inside me, heating my core, building the tension again the longer he moves.
His thrusts are purposeful. They speak volumes of the war raging inside him.
His kisses are feverish.
Leaning over me, he lets a strangled grunt loose and pulls out, and I instantly feel the loss of him.
He pumps himself into his hand, then releases onto my stomach.
Our lips part in awe as we watch the white streaks trail down between my legs.
He captures my mouth with his once more, then slides off the bed, making his way to the bathroom.
All while I admire the full view of his backside.
He’s stronger than the guy I knew in college.
More muscled.
A man.
He was a boy when we met. Thinking back, I’m starting to realize just how young and innocent we were. How we both made mistakes. Things we regret.
He returns with a washcloth, a dazed look in his eyes like he’s high.
He kisses my cheek, then my lips, as he wipes between my legs, pausing to massage the spot he worked raw. It’s sensitive, and the more he massages me, the more lost I am in all he’s doing—all he’s making me feel.
“I’m not done with you,” he whispers, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand.
As he starts to back away, my emotions are caught in my throat. I grab his cheeks in both hands and kiss him, wanting to hold on to the beauty of this moment.
Because we’re not a one-night stand, not with our history, and I don’t know what Monday will bring.
Where we go from here.
What this means for us.
But I know I want to extend this moment forever.
He sweeps his tongue against mine, sending heat down to my toes. “Jersey, we can figure this out,” he whispers between kisses. “Please, I want to. I need you.”
I think I nod.
I definitely moan.
Because being here with him, him kissing me with conviction as my hands run over the ridges of his back, I forget anything outside of us.
Chapter Eighteen
AIDEN
“I really am sorry about earlier tonight and for how I reacted when you told me about the baby.” I squeeze her tighter against my side, letting her body heat wash over me, comforting me. “I’ll talk to Taylor and apologize to her too. I’ll do everything I can to make this right.”
“Thank you.” She sighs, her breath warm on my bare chest. “I’m sorry too. For not telling you about our baby,” she whispers, her sadness evident.
I tilt her face up to mine, so I can get a good look into her eyes. “I wish we would’ve gotten the chance to meet her.”
She gives me a watery smile, one that makes my stomach sink.
How crushed she must’ve been.
For days, I’ve been alternating between rage and devastation, full of what ifs.
What if she’d told me back then?
What i
f she hadn’t miscarried?
What if… I hadn’t left in the first place?
My stupid mistakes eat at me.
“I wish I was there to help you through it,” I add, my voice cracking by the end of the sentence, and I hold her tighter as we lie still with only our quiet breaths between us.
Her low voice sounds moments later.
“Do you ever wonder what we would’ve been like with a baby?” Her lips tremble against my chest. After another short pause, she peers up at me, resting her chin on my pec. “Would we have been a happy family?”
“Definitely,” I say without hesitation. There’s no doubt in my mind that Sage would’ve been an amazing mother, and she would’ve helped me be a good father.
Because she makes me want to be and do better.
I cup her cheek and bring her to me for a kiss. I kiss her eyelids, then her lone tear sliding down her cheek, and I melt into the bed with her in my arms.
“Tell me about her. About our baby. Did she kick? Were you nauseous?”
I imagine her with a round stomach, carrying the love we created, and an ache so strong overcomes me that I might break.
Break even more, anyway.
“You don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable or—”
“I want to,” she says, and as she shakes her head, her wisps of hair tickle my chest. “I was swollen from head to toe. Not cute.” She giggles.
“I bet you were,” I say into her hair as I idly run my fingers up and down her bare back.
“I felt her kick a few times.” I feel the wetness of her tears on my skin, and my hand stops along her forearm as I listen to her smooth voice.
A song of the past, sad and gut-wrenching.
“I remember the first time she kicked so vividly. It was a soft thump, like the small flutter of a baby bird’s wings, against my stomach. That’s when it really hit me that it was happening—I was having a baby.” She sniffles. “It was beautiful.”
I remain silent, imagining her cradling her stomach, holding our baby girl close.
I never thought about kids. Back then, all I thought about was saving the world with the law degree I’d get. A family felt like it was eons into the future, so far off my radar that I didn’t even comprehend the concept until friends started having kids after college.
Now, hearing Sage—my Jersey—talk about ours, I can’t help but think about how different our lives would be with a baby girl to raise. We’d be together, a family, but we’d be in love too.
We’d be happy.
“When I lost her, I didn’t think I’d ever recover.”
“I’m so fucking sorry, Jersey.” I wrap both my arms around her and let her cry.
I hold Sage while she lets out her anguish—while she lets go.
Her tears are hot on my bare chest, squeezing around my heart underneath, and they run down to my stomach.
She’s crying for our baby. Our lost years. Our lives that have been forever changed.
One heavy tear after another slides down my own cheek, and I cry with her too.
Chapter Nineteen
SAGE
He holds me in a hug so powerful and comforting, I just cry harder.
I snuggle into Aiden’s side, soaking in his comfort, and I get lost in it and the memories.
All those years ago, I yearned for him to hold me like this when I found out I was pregnant. I ached for him to come back to me and tell me it would be all right. That we’d figure it out together.
And when I lost her, I begged God to send him back to me so he could kiss away my tears and put the pieces of my shattered heart back together.
With Aiden here to hold me now, I unleash my pent-up sobs.
He kisses my cheeks, soaking up my sadness, letting me share it with the one person I always wanted to.
I felt guilty when I cried with Dave, but with Aiden now, I can finally grieve openly, causing a strange sense of relief to wash over me.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he repeats against my cheek, then places a kiss there.
A kiss to my nose.
To my forehead.
Another apology like he’s asking God to forgive him.
Soft sobs choke me as I let go of some of the pain I’ve been clinging to all these years. The pain that kept me from being happy.
And I cling to Aiden Baxter like I need him to show me the rest of the way to the light.
To peace.
I eventually tire myself from crying and fall asleep in his arms. It’s a deep slumber where I dream of the sun shining.
The birds chirping.
Aiden’s deep voice…
“What kind of toss was that?” He runs, almost tripping over our picnic, and the sounds of his laughter carry between us.
“Oops!” I call out, giggling. “You know I’m still practicing.”
“You need a lot more practice.”
I stick my tongue out at him as he finally reaches the Frisbee and throws it back to me. “See? That’s a perfect throw. All in the wrist and middle finger.”
“I’ll give you a middle finger,” I grumble.
“I heard that.”
“Wasn’t being quiet.” I roll my eyes, then get into position to throw it back to him.
But instead of going straight toward him like I thought, the Frisbee veers to the right like a lost kite.
“It’s impossible.” I cover my face with my hands.
He jogs to the Frisbee, then toward me. “You’re not doing it the way I showed you.”
“Maybe you’re a bad teacher. Why did they let you on their intramural team, anyway?” I tease.
He scoffs sarcastically. “Because they want to win, and with me on their team, they will.”
“Bring the arrogance down a notch, will you?”
He grabs my hand, his touch unexpected.
I sharply inhale, dropping my gaze to his fingers curled around my wrist, where he flips it so my palm faces up.
His soft touch sucks the humor from my next joke like a rug being pulled out from under me.
I look up at him, and his eyes find mine.
There’s a pause.
Surprise crosses his features, and it mirrors my own.
His voice drops low when he says, “You throw it like this.” He flicks his wrist, all while his gaze remains on mine.
I don’t see where the Frisbee goes.
Instead, I gulp and know I’m in trouble.
Chapter Twenty
AIDEN
“There’s a woman doing yoga in her underwear.” Sage stands by the window, pointing across the alleyway, then takes a sip of her hot coffee. The steam is visible with the incoming light, giving her a special glow.
Mesmerizing—that’s what she is.
I wrap my arms around her waist from behind, nuzzling her neck, breathing her sweet aroma in. “That’s Tina and her regular morning routine.”
“And she doesn’t care that the whole world can see her?” She scrunches her nose, and I kiss her cheek, unable to stop myself.
“She brings me cookies every Sunday, so I say, she can do what she wants.” I smirk.
“What?”
I shrug. “I ran into her when I first moved in. She noticed my college sweatshirt and mentioned her brother went to the same school, coincidentally. We talk every Sunday now.”
She hums, taking a sip of her drink. “Maybe in return, as a real friend, you could buy her some curtains.”
“Especially for when she has male company over.”
She covers her mouth. “No. Tell me she doesn’t have sexy time where everyone can see…”
“I’m afraid she does. And I’m afraid we all see.”
“Perverts.” She giggles, leaning into me.
I place hot kisses down her neck, making her sigh, which makes me hard. Pressing against her backside, I let her feel her effect on me.
How much I want her.
How much she’s been part of me for years. Even though I fought it, she
’s always been my Jersey.
“Breakfast?” I croak.
“I don’t think I’m hungry for eggs,” she whispers, setting her coffee on the windowsill, then pulls the curtains shut.
“Good thing that’s not what I was offering.”
She yelps when I scoop her in my arms and toss her onto the bed. As she scoots up to the edge, I catch sight of the window above her head.
The one with my hand still printed on the glass.
The thought of having her again, spread wide for me, makes me pull my clothes off like I’m on fire—I can’t get them off fast enough.
By the time I’m done, Sage is also bare.
Her bottom lip tugged between her teeth.
Her eyes lust-filled and teasing with a lazy tilt in the corners from sleep.
I put one knee onto the bed and climb toward her, the anticipation rising with every inch I close between us. When I reach her, I kiss her, gently at first, happily getting to know her perfect lips all over again.
She moans when I cup her between her legs—she’s wet.
Needy.
And it makes me want to pound my chest with caveman pride.
I kiss her as I slide two fingers into her, making her arch her back, and her breasts push against my chest, her hard nipples teasing me.
I relish the sensual sounds she makes. Like they’re escaping her swollen lips of their own accord. Strangled and hot.
It’s sexy, the way she gives herself to me, letting herself feel everything.
She tries to speak, but her words end on a sharp inhale as I continue working her while trailing kisses down her neck.
She clenches around my fingers, and when I dip my head to capture her nipple between my teeth and bite down, she falls off the edge, trembling beneath me.
I can feel every shake as her climax consumes her.
I’m hard, stiff, and ready for her.
My restraint snaps, and with one swift thrust, I slide into her wet heat like I belong there. I pump in and out of her as she wraps her hands around my neck, holding me close.
Unbreakable: A Salvation Society Novel Page 14