“If this is about the McAllister thing, I thought we talked about this. The investors are happy again. The potential board members are as well. It could’ve been a lot worse, but we’re fine.”
“It better be.” I scoff, staring at a scratch on the wall. “After all, I’ve given five years of my life to this company. Five years.” I turn my attention to Westin. “I’m damn good at what I do, and I’m sick of people only caring about my credentials. My background. Pieces of fucking paper instead of who I am.”
“Okay, guess this is about more than that.”
I let out a defeated laugh, thinking about Dave and Sage talking yesterday. Thinking of them alone together. Thinking about all they had to say while I had to walk away.
She looked like she was choking on the past.
“Go.”
Her voice… it was so dejected.
Because of me.
“I have the past—every tiny piece of it—coming to bite me in the ass around every fucking corner. So yeah, I’m pissy.”
Westin continues standing tall and doesn’t seem fazed. I don’t have to worry with him—he knows I don’t mean to take it out on him.
But when he remains quiet, it makes me want to take it out on him a little. Maybe a good jab in the nose for being so fucking reasonable and calm all the time like he’s Buddha. For once, I’d like to see him unraveled.
“Do you know why we work so well together? Why we’re friends?” he finally asks.
“Enlighten me,” I grind out.
“Because we’re different. Two different temperaments. Different pasts. Unique perspectives. We complement each other.” He shrugs.
I wait for him to say more, but my patience wears thin. “And?”
“And I’m good at calming you down. Which is what I’m trying to do.”
“You’re making it worse.”
“I’m making you focus on something else, aren’t I?”
“Yes, how much I want to wipe the damn smirk off your face with a swift kick in the shin.”
“Better than wanting to crawl into bed with a bottle of whiskey, though, right?”
I roll my eyes and rock in my chair.
“I’m sorry about the interviews. About diverting questions when anyone asked about you.”
I sigh, interlocking my fingers above my head. “It’s not your fault. I agreed to this. It was my fucking idea.”
“But you’re a major part of the team, man. We’ll talk to Taylor about a new plan now that some of the heat is off our backs. She even got in touch with McAllister’s agent, mainly because he was annoyed that she called so frequently and at all hours of the night, but they’re in the process of setting up a meeting.”
“Good.” Part of the weight lifts from my chest. “Maybe I can kick him in the shin when we do meet. Teach him—”
He holds his hands up, chuckling. “Let’s leave the kicks to the MMA fighters, okay?”
I sigh. “When are we meeting with Taylor again?”
“Next week.”
That’s when I’ll see Sage.
But I hope to God she calls me, ready to talk, before then, because I don’t know how long I’ll last without hearing her voice.
Her laugh.
She’s become the center of my world again, and I can’t lose her this time—I won’t.
I avert my attention to the ground as I get lost in the events of yesterday.
Of her sullen expression and dark eyes.
My ears ring from lack of sleep and water.
From guilt and anger.
“What happened, Aiden?” Westin whispers.
When I lift my gaze, he’s studying me, frowning and pitying me. “I need to get back to work.”
“Don’t—” He sighs when his ringing phone interrupts us. “This isn’t over,” he says before he answers, taking the call to his own office.
I furiously type on my computer, slamming my fingers on the keys as I study updates on athletes. If any have been injured, delaying them from playing. I pull up stats to stay up to date on athletes’ performances.
I don’t know how long I type.
I thought working would keep my mind busy, but every second I stop, I think of Sage and how we’ll get through this.
We have to get through this… right?
Chapter Twenty-Seven
SAGE
“How could you?” I hiss into my phone, pacing my bedroom.
“You had relations with another man. When you were supposed to be committed to your husband.” My mother’s cold voice makes me cringe.
I was finally able to get ahold of her after trying for days, but after two seconds of this call, I wish she wouldn’t have answered.
“Dave wasn’t my husband when I was with Aiden. You don’t even have the facts. You have Dave’s poor-wounded-puppy version. I admit, I was in the wrong for not being honest with Dave from the start, but I wouldn’t have felt like I had to lie if I had anyone else to rely on. If I would’ve had you, Mother.”
“Don’t blame this on me, Sage. Be an adult and admit your mistakes.”
“I just did. Your turn.”
The anger rolls off me in waves. How dare she? How dare my mother ignore me most of my life, then come back to ruin it because she thinks she has a right to? Because she knows anything about what happened to me?
She’s made it a point to miss everything in my adult life, yet she wants to pretend she’s doing me a favor now.
How fucking dare she?
“What have I to apologize for? You’re the one acting akin to a heathen, committing adultery. That’s not how I raised you.”
I exhale, stopping next to my bed, my stomach churning. “You’re right. It’s not how you raised me.” I pause as my body deflates with a realization that I should’ve accepted long ago. “You didn’t raise me at all. It’s not enough to call yourself a mother—you have to actually act like one and pay attention when your kid needs you.”
“Sage, I was a single mother with a lucrative business, so I taught you to fend for yourself. Are you really mad that I taught you independence?”
“No.” I clench my fist at my side. “No, I’m only mad that you truly believe you did me a favor with your absence.”
I end the call, frozen in my spot, staring out my window.
My own mother is on Dave’s side. She believes I did him wrong. Even though I am to blame for some of what happened with Dave, she had no right to tell him where I live.
To betray me and my trust when she didn’t deserve to have it in the first place.
I clutch my stomach, nausea rolling, and I rush to the bathroom.
Between work, this thing with Aiden, my mother—it’s too much. Too overwhelming.
When I stand, I step back, dizzy. I lean on the counter for support and study my pale reflection.
“Get a grip,” I mutter, then turn the water on until it’s warm before washing my hands and face.
Once I exit my room, I find Naomi on the couch with a pint of ice cream. “Was that your mom on the phone? What did she have to say for herself?”
I sigh. “She blamed me, as always. For once, I finally thought she’d see that she’s gone too far, but that’s what I get for hoping.”
“I can’t fucking believe she stooped so low, though. To go out of her way to actually hurt you.”
“In her own twisted way, she thought she was helping by making me face Dave and take responsibility for my actions.”
She furrows her brows at me, swallowing her bite of dessert. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
I sigh again, slumping against the doorframe to my room, my hand on my stomach. “No, but it’s better than admitting she’s just selfish with a skewed perception of reality.”
“I think it’s time to accept it, unfortunately.” She holds her ice cream high as she crosses her legs on the couch. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always love Aunt Cheryl, but I don’t have to like her.”
I smile, glad that Nao
mi’s on my side, at least.
She points to her ice cream with her spoon. “You want some?”
I stand upright, shaking my head, as if she offered me bugs instead.
“Really?” She scoops a spoonful of the creamy dessert. “You never say no to ice cream.”
I freeze, pausing with my hand still on my stomach.
No…
She glances at me, setting her spoon in the container. “What?”
Can it be?
“Sage? Are you okay?”
“The only time I didn’t want ice cream was when…”
Oh my God.
“When what?” Naomi leans forward and sets the ice cream on the coffee table in front of her. “You’re scaring me. What’s going on?” She rushes toward me. Placing the back of her hand on my forehead, she searches my gaze. “Talk to me, girl. What’re you feeling?”
I try to swallow to wet my dry throat. “Um… I need to get to a drugstore.”
“Slow down.” Naomi shuffles behind me as I run to the 24-Hour CVS.
It’s late, but I can’t wait.
“I’m sorry, Naomi, but I have to find out for sure.” I come to a screeching halt in front of the well-lit storefront and red letters across the door.
“Hey.” Naomi pulls me by my arm away from the door and dips her head to meet me at eye level. “Listen, no matter what happens, I’m here for you, okay? You’re not alone this time.”
I slink into her and wrap my arms around her neck. “Thank you,” I whisper over her tight curls.
Squeezing her one last time, we both exhale, then go into the store together. When we come to a stop in front of the tests, I stare at them.
I instinctively touch my stomach as memories of my swollen belly invade. Of singing to my baby. Of feeling her kick.
Of dreaming of holding her.
My chest squeezes.
I didn’t have Aiden then, and I don’t know where he and I stand now. The way we left things… we have yet to clear the air. To figure out how to move forward with us—if it’s possible.
But a baby?
As I stare at the tests, this is all too familiar.
“Sage?” Naomi rubs my back in soothing circles.
“I’m fine. I was just remembering…” My voice trails off as my throat constricts.
“Listen, we don’t have to do this right now. You can come with me to the hospital tomorrow for a checkup, and—”
I place my hand on her arm. “I want to do this. I have to know.”
She nods, then picks up a few boxes, turning them over in her hands. I pick one up as well, but she speaks before I’ve even read the first word. “This one.” She sets the others back on the shelves.
I walk to the counter on wobbly knees as if I’ve forgotten how to walk. My mind is racing.
The thought of being pregnant again has my heart thundering in tune with the beeping of the register as the cashier checks us out.
I didn’t know if another pregnancy would be in my future. Dave and I agreed to wait after my miscarriage, and before we knew it, the months turned into years. He always said he wasn’t ready, and I didn’t argue.
I didn’t feel ready, either. It never felt right.
Naomi and I remain quiet the rest of the way back to our apartment.
Once inside, the bag rustles in my hand where I grip it tightly, and I stop outside my bedroom. Hugging Naomi one more time, I whisper, “Thank you. I’ll let you know what the results are—”
She pulls back, gripping my arms. “Are you insane? I’m waiting in your room with you.”
I sigh with relief, and together, we go into my room, where she sits on the end of the bed.
“I’ll be right here when you come out.”
I close the bathroom door behind me, and with trembling hands, I set the box on the counter. “I can do this,” I tell my reflection, then take a few deep breaths and open the box.
Once I’m finished, I open the door and sit next to Naomi on the bed, the test in my hands. We stare ahead, remaining still.
The city beyond our apartment seems to stop its bustle.
The seconds feel like hours.
After a few more beats of silence, Naomi looks up from her watch and says, “It’s time.”
My shoulders tense as I look at the thin stick in my hands like it’s an explosive, and I’m supposed to defuse it.
“Okay,” I whisper, but it’s mostly to myself. “Okay, here we go.”
We both sharply inhale as I turn the test over.
Two lines stare back at me.
And instantly, I imagine two tiny eyes peeking up at me as I hold him or her to my chest.
Naomi holds her palms together over her mouth.
“Positive,” I say, my voice shaky. “It’s positive.”
“Oh my God,” she whispers, and a slow smile spreads on her lips.
“I’m pregnant.”
“You are.” She nods, then full-on grins.
“Aiden and I are having a baby,” I say more firmly, and a sob escapes me as she tugs me to her in a tight embrace.
“Tomorrow, we need to schedule an appointment. I know a great OBGYN, and I’ll help you every step of the way with anything you need.”
We’re having a baby.
My body grows limp in her arms.
She rocks us from side to side, and I’m relieved that I’m not alone this time.
I have family, who’s also a friend, with me, unlike all those years ago when Naomi was already in New York City. We weren’t as close as we are now, either, and I bask in this rare outpouring of affection from her.
She’s happy for me, and I too shed tears of joy on her shoulder as her grip on me tightens.
But what remains the same from my previous pregnancy is that the baby is Aiden’s, and he’s not here.
Fear creeps down my spine, momentarily dampening the good news.
Naomi must sense it after I stiffen. “What’s wrong?” she asks, pulling back.
“I have to tell him. Aiden, he needs to know.” My bottom lip quivers.
Her grin turns into a frown as understanding visibly dawns. She knows what happened. What Aiden confessed a few days ago and how badly it hurt me—how much it still pains me.
“What will he say?” I whisper more to myself than to her.
“There’s only one way to find out, honey.” She squeezes my hand with both of hers.
“What if…” I lift my scared and haunted gaze to hers, recalling my loneliness during this moment of déjà vu. “What if he runs again? Leaves me alone again? A baby… I mean, this is huge. What if history repeats itself?”
“Sage, I meant what I said. No matter what, you are not alone. I will be here for you.” She looks down at the test still in my hand. “But you need to tell him. He needs the chance to be the man he wasn’t back then.”
“Do you believe he can be?”
I’m taken aback when she smiles. “I think people can surprise you. A lot of people change for the worse, but many of us change for the better—take it from me.”
I tilt my head toward her.
“I’ll save that story for another time, but all I’m trying to say is… don’t be afraid he’ll leave. He didn’t know you were pregnant last time. This will be different—I know it.”
I bite my lip.
“Right now, we need to talk baby names.”
“Baby names? You realize I just found out, right?” I can’t help but laugh.
She lies back on the bed, bringing me to lie next to her. “It’s never too early to plan.”
As we chat, I’m wrapped up in the familiarity of it all. Of lying with Naomi like this when we were kids as she told me funny stories or tried to cheer me up when I was upset after my mom didn’t attend my school play or when she threw my report cards away.
Naomi always had the right thing to say to make me feel loved and just… better.
She giggles as she lists the names she insists I absolutely cannot use. “Th
ose are too overdone and unoriginal. You need a cute-ass name for your angel.”
Never would I have imagined Naomi being giddy. Who knew all it took was a baby to get her smiling like a lunatic?
My emotions are caught in my throat as I peer at her. “I’ve missed this. Us.”
She gives me a small smile. “I’ve missed you too, girl.”
We stay like this for another hour, laughing and talking, and it works wonders to distract me from my fears.
All that matters is that I’m having a baby.
A miracle.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
AIDEN
I deeply inhale as we make our way to CJJ—to see Jersey.
All I’ve thought about is her.
She hasn’t answered or returned my calls or texts.
Is she that pissed at me?
The elevator dings, and the doors open on their floor.
Sage is in a flowy skirt that reaches her knees. Red flats. A black short-sleeved shirt that clings to the perfect curves of her full breasts.
There’s a new glow about her. It’s only been a week, but it feels much longer.
It’s been too long since I last held her.
When her gaze meets mine, her eyes widen, and indecision crosses her features.
“Hey, guys.”
I tear my attention from Sage and force a smile when Taylor greets us, then leads us to their conference room.
Westin and I sit, and Jared grabs a cookie from the end of the table before he sits on the other side of Westin. Jared doesn’t normally come with us, but we thought it was time to include him. Westin and I may have started the company, but Jared’s played a major role in making it what it’s become.
We go over the guest list for our launch party so far and a few more interviews that are scheduled.
“Last but not least, Tank McAllister.” For the first time since his Tweet went berserk, Taylor doesn’t cringe when she says his name.
Instinctively, I lean in.
“We have a meeting tomorrow to discuss his public apology.” Taylor smirks.
“What do you mean?” Westin asks.
Unbreakable: A Salvation Society Novel Page 20