by Nicole Dykes
I look up at him. “Did you love him?” Carter has never asked, I don’t think, but something inside of me needs to know.
“Yes.” He smiles and it makes me smile.
“He was loved. Truly loved.” My heart flutters knowing that because I wasn’t sure he had that in his short life. “He was.”
I rest my head on his shoulder again. “I’m glad.”
I don’t know how his wife could forgive him, but I’ve never been in that position before. I don’t think there’s any such thing as a normal love.
Later when I’m dancing with Carter under the stars after the sun has set, and we’ve had dinner, he tilts my chin upward, looking into my eyes. “He would have hated this.”
I laugh, knowing he’s talking about Dane. “What? No. He would have loved this.”
He shakes his head, “Nope. He would have given us shit about such a simple wedding.”
I laugh at that and don’t disagree. “He would have. But we wouldn’t have cared.”
“Nope. Fuck the rules. This is exactly what I wanted.” He brushes his lips over mine. “Is this what you wanted?”
I nod my head and kiss him deeply.
This is everything and more.
“No…” Shaw protests, but I know she doesn’t really mean it. “I have to get to class.”
I chuckle and spread her legs apart, resting one hand on her naked thigh. “You’ll have plenty of time to get to class.”
She shakes her head, but when my tongue drags over her wet slit her hips buck upward encouraging my action. “You’re going to make me late.”
“Never.” I swirl my tongue over her swollen clit and her moan is music to my ears when her fingers dig into my hair. “I can make you come in less than a minute.”
“But then there will be more.”
I laugh at her complaint, because she wants it. I can hear the pleading in her breathless tone. “Yes.”
“Oh, God, Carter.” I lap at her wet folds, teasing her clit and sliding a finger into her and then another. When I fill her pussy with two fingers, I use another to tease the outer ring of her other hole, pressing inside only a little and pulling a deep moan from her, nearly sending her over the edge already. Her hips buck up off the bed and she gasps, “Yes. I’m almost there.”
She’s so fucking close and I can feel her clench tightly around me, the walls of her pussy clamping around my fingers and her ass tightening as I lick her clit.
“I’m going to come.”
I don’t say a word, just continue to work her body to release and take in every single gasp and moan, knowing she’s climbing the ultimate high.
When she comes down, she pulls me up to her mouth, kissing me and not worrying that I taste like her. I fucking love the taste of her. My cock slides into her tight wet heat and we both groan. “Soon you’re going to let me knock you up.”
She laughs and then pushes me so that she’s on top and in control of my cock thrusting inside of her. “Is that so?”
My hands cup her full tits, rolling her nipples between my fingers. “Yes.”
She smiles and dips down to kiss me as she rides me. “Hmmm….maybe.”
We’ve been married for two years now. My contract ended and I got my payment before walking away. We still see Will and his family for occasional dinners, and they are our closest friends, but I’m not involved in that old life. And I never will be again. I have everything I could ever want, and nothing, not even the high of fighting, is worth the risk.
We bought a modest house and Shaw was able to continue school. She’s getting close to graduating and then, yes, we’re going to have kids.
Because she wants them and even if I never thought I would, I want them too.
I work a construction job, an honest one. We still check on Cooper and Ben, but they’re happy too. They love their foster mom and are safe.
Against all odds, Shaw and I are really, truly happy.
Five Years Later
“Will you please let mommy put on your sock?” My daughter defiantly shakes her head and it’s really not fair that she looks just like me. Her long dark hair is down and messy because she refuses to let me brush it, and her jeans that I just bought her are ripped over the knee.
She’s four and she’s already trying to kill me. Of course, I am eight months pregnant with a little boy who will no doubt be like Carter.
“No sock!” She runs off, back to the swing set at the park and Carter chuckles, a full on happy laugh that I didn’t think I would ever hear again after Dane died.
But our little girl…she can make him laugh even harder.
Who knew that we could be these people? Truly happy, married people with kids and a house in the burbs.
It’s insane and it’s not, because it’s everything I couldn’t even bring myself to dream of when I was growing up.
We make sure that our bills are paid, and we love each other and our children with everything we have. A little boy walks up to where our daughter is swinging and starts to push her. She glides along with a giggle in her throat and I turn to Carter, who is in protective mode. “Oh no.”
I laugh, “And so it begins.”
“No.” He growls and I just laugh because our daughter will do whatever she damn well pleases just like her mama.
“He’s pretty cute.”
“Shaw…” He shakes his head and then tries to change the subject. “You know Dane would demand we name our boy after him,” Carter says, nodding toward my huge belly and then placing his gaze back on the little boy and our daughter.
I laugh and smooth my hand over my taut stomach, stretched to the limit with Carter’s bigass kid. “Yeah, he would.” I smirk up at him, “So are we going to?”
Carter laughs effortlessly, his eyes meeting mine again. “Of course.”
I nod in approval because I had been thinking the same thing. We both talk about Dane all of the time and my mom was right, everyone deals with grief differently. She always knew that Carter would come back to me.
Carter needed time to cope with losing Dane and so did I. Maybe some would say we did it badly, but it’s the way we did.
I don’t regret anything. We’re happy. We have a beautiful daughter and a son on the way. I graduated from college. Me…Shaw Hayes now Shaw Donovan graduated from college.
And all of it was worth every single bit of the fight I had inside me all along.
THE END
Note From the Author:
I hope you enjoyed Fight because this book is incredibly important to me. I know some readers are going to say that Shaw was dumb or weak for going back with Aiden. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, please know that I believe that firmly, but it is my hope that sometime in the very near future we as a society stop putting the blame on the victim. I think the blame for abuse should rest solely on the abuser.
It is so easy to judge from the outside and I believe that’s why victims of abuse don’t report it. Not always just because they are afraid of their abuser, but because they fear being shamed and blamed for their abuse.
It needs to stop. Everyone deserves to feel safe. There are so many young or inexperienced people that are prey for abusive people because they’re charming. They know how to lure someone in and make them feel safe. I wanted to bring awareness to these situations. If you or anyone you know needs help, please know you aren’t alone and there are people that will support you without judgement.
Thank you so much to Elle, Emma and Ariadna for always being there for me and being my strength to keep going. I love you wonderful assholes!
Thank you so, so much Keely, Cori and Caitlin for joining me for this crazy journey! I love you all so much and I’m grateful for everything!
Thank you so much to my parents for always loving me and making me strong enough to know my worth and stand up for those who don’t.
Thank you to my girls and my amazing husband for putting up with me and loving me no matter what. Bryant, you’ve always been wor
th the fight.
Thank you so much to Sarah for editing this one for me! Thank you to Veronique and Elizabeth for making it pretty.
And to Jeanna, you will be worth everything to the right person. You mean the world to me and you are and always have been strong. I love you.
To all the bookstagrammers and Novelties and readers, I appreciate you more than I can ever say! Thank you for reading Fight! I know it was a little on the darker side and I can’t tell you how proud I am of this book and how happy I am with how it turned out.
It’s everything I wanted it to be!
Stay strong and never quit fighting for what you want!
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Sterling Family
Regrets
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For a taste of Clarity flip to the next page!
Prologue
Rhys
7 years ago
“It was a dream,” I gasp into the night air.
“It was a dream.”
I try to catch my breath.
It. Was. A. Dream.
I can’t breathe.
I can’t fucking breathe.
I sink down to the sidewalk, the cement digging into my knees, clawing at my collar as I try to catch my breath. I want it to be a dream, but the sickening feeling inside tells me it wasn’t just a nightmare.
It was my life.
My reality.
My bleak existence.
I look back at the rundown apartment building I've been staying in, stealing shit and hustling with my friend Sean to get rent money even though we’re both still in high school. I had to get out of there. I’m not even safe in my own bed, no matter where the bed is located.
And now, I can’t fucking breathe. I need a fix. I need to go numb and not remember. Because when I remember, I can’t breathe. I can’t function. I reach into the pocket of my sweats, pulling out the cellphone I lifted from some yuppie who didn’t need it. I should call Sean or Quinn.
Fuck. Quinn. She hates when I use.
Maybe I could get lost in her, but the high doesn’t last nearly as long as the drugs. No. I can’t call her. I’ve hurt her enough. She’s my best friend and my occasional girlfriend. We all grew up together.
Sean, Quinn, me . . . and Logan, but that fucker left us behind for a better life. A better man would be happy for him, but I’m not. I hate him. I despise him for becoming what we all hate. The rich and privileged. Above the law. They can buy their way out of anything. They can have anything they want. And now my best friend since long before we reached puberty is living with them. I call my dealer, giving him my location and hang up.
I sit on the cement, feeling the hardness and the cold. I’m only wearing a thin t-shirt in November, but I don’t care about the cold. I grew up in the cold. I was raised in black numbness.
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