by Kate L. Mary
In that moment I had loved her more than ever before, and standing here with Lucy in my arms, hearing those exact words come out of her mouth, I couldn’t help wondering if I hadn’t found this woman for a reason. I’d said before that she’d saved me from dying in that snow storm, but I now found myself wondering if she hadn’t saved me from a fate even worse than freezing to death.
Chapter 14
LUCY
The familiar pattern Sawyer and I had established changed, but only slightly, and for the better. We had the same routine when it came to chores, but throughout the day I had the added excitement of the occasional kiss or touch. He’d run his hand across my back as he went by or stop behind me and massage my shoulders while his lips moved over my neck. His kisses were soft and gentle, and when he looked at me, he seemed to be saying something with his gaze. I didn’t know what it was for sure, but I knew it made me tingle from my head all the way to my toes.
At the end of the day we’d still curl up by the fire, only now we would spend our time in each other’s arms. Kissing most of the time, but occasionally just holding each other while we talked.
The more time we spent together, the more I came to savor his touch, and before long something about him changed. It was subtle, but present. There was gentleness in his caress that felt more profound, and more passion in his kisses than there had been at first.
The change wasn’t just in him, either. I found that my heart ached when I caught his eye across the room and my breath would catch in my throat when he kissed the side of my head. I began to ache for the time we spent curled up by the fire talking, wanting to know everything about Sawyer, from his childhood to everything he had done since the world had ended, and I wanted him to know everything about me.
I was falling in love, and the deeper I fell, the more terrified I became at the prospect of him leaving.
He still refused to take my clothes off, and when I asked him why he would just smile and say that he wanted me, not my body. I appreciated how chivalrous he was, but as it turned out my body very much wanted Sawyer, and the more time we spent together, the more unsatisfied I felt at the end of the night. After we kissed, when he would go to my uncle’s room and shut the door and I would head to my own bed, I’d find myself staring at the ceiling for hours. Unable to sleep. Unable to catch my breath. Unable to do anything but think about Sawyer while my body throbbed with desire.
It was something that needed to change.
Sawyer was rubbing his icy hands together, trying to warm them after just having come in from chopping wood. The snow was thick and deep, but no more had come down for a least a week, and I knew spring would be heading our way soon.
When I handed him a mug of hot water, he took it, smiling gratefully.
“Sorry there’s no more tea,” I said.
He nodded and wrapped his hands around the mug. “As soon as we know the worst of the winter is over, I’ll have to head out.”
Even though I knew he meant he would go for supplies, I couldn’t stop my heart from skipping a little. The idea of him leaving me alone—just like my uncle had—and maybe never returning made me sick to my stomach.
Behind me the kettle let out a low whistle, making me jump, and I turned toward the sound gratefully. Tears had sprung to my eyes and I didn’t want Sawyer to see them. I was afraid he’d think I was weak. After his story about Lisa, I wanted to stay capable and strong for him, but there were times—like this—when I felt like the emotions inside me were going to take over. The more and more I came to care about this man, the more terrified I became when I thought about the snow melting.
I wanted to go to town with him, but I doubted he’d allow that.
I pulled the kettle off the stove and added it to the washbasin, still thinking about Sawyer leaving me and how I’d feel if I never saw him again.
“Bath day?” he said from behind me.
“Yes.” I let out a sigh. “I feel grungy.”
“I know how you feel.” I kept my back to him, trying to hide the tears that were now streaming down my cheeks. “I’m going to head to my room.”
“Enjoy,” he called as I hurried out of the kitchen.
By the time I reached the bedroom my vision was blurred from the tears in my eyes. I kicked the door shut and set the washbasin down as easily as I could, only spilling a little bit of water on the floor. The second it was out of my hand I let my emotions loose, allowing the sobs to break free. They came out so quick and violent that they shook my shoulders, but it didn’t take long for me to feel spent. I wasn’t an overly emotional person, and usually when I had a good cry it was violent but quick.
When I was sure I was done I dried my eyes. Sawyer and I would deal with the subject of town later, in a rational and adult way, but right now I needed to take care of my bath. If I didn’t get moving, the water would get too cold.
Thanks to the bar of soap floating in the water, the clean scent of lavender filled the room as I slowly ran the washcloth over me. I started with my face then moved down, going over each of my arms and then my back. I was in the middle of rinsing the cloth when footsteps came down the hall. Since I was in my room I didn’t turn their way, but just as I ran the washcloth between my breasts the sound of Sawyer taking a deep breath hit me.
I turned, the washcloth still between my breasts, and found the door open. In my haste to get to the bedroom I hadn’t managed to kick it shut all the way. Sawyer must have been heading back to his own room when he’d seen me and stopped.
He pushed the door open wider and took a step inside. “Lucy.”
His gaze moved over my naked body, his eyes growing wider by the second. The look felt like a caress and left goose bumps behind on my bare skin, and the expression in his eyes spoke volumes. He wanted me as much as I’d been wanting him, but he was torn. He’d been trying so hard to be respectful and he didn’t want to change that, but now that I was standing in front of him naked he looked ready to pounce.
I dipped the washcloth back in the water, my gaze still holding his, and once again ran it over my skin. Between my breasts and down my stomach, leaving a trail of warm water behind that smelled like lavender. My hands trembled when I reached my stomach, but I didn’t stop. I moved the washcloth lower and Sawyer’s breath caught in his throat.
He took another step toward me. “Lucy, oh my God, you are so beautiful.”
“I’ve thought about taking my clothes off for you so many times,” I whispered.
“And I’ve thought about you taking your clothes off too, but I want you to be sure.”
“I’m sure.” I dropped the washcloth into the water and stepped closer to Sawyer. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
He swallowed once, the war still raging in his eyes, but I closed the distance between us before he could say anything else. I pressed my lips against his and his hands ran up my back. They were warm against my bare skin, the callouses on his palms from chopping wood were scratchy but nice. Comforting. His hand cupped the back of my neck as he pulled me closer, the kiss growing deeper and more passionate. My breasts were pressed against his chest and the rippling of his muscles against them as he moved was tantalizing.
His hands moved down my back and over my butt, then back up again like he couldn’t decide where to touch me. Then he pulled away and ripped his shirt over his head before scooping me up and carrying me to the bed. It only took a few steps, but his lips were on mine the whole way there, and when he laid me out he didn’t join me right away. He stood, hovering over me as we kissed, his hand running down my body to cover my breasts, one at a time.
“Please,” I said against his lips, begging for him to join me.
He nodded, still kissing me, and his lips never left mine as he stripped off his pants and boxers and kicked them aside.
When he joined me on the bed, he was gentle as he eased himself on top of me, his eyes holding mine the whole time. My legs were parted and Sawyer was there, hovering between them, his
body ready for me. My own body was more than ready, it was so needy it was throbbing with desire. I bucked my hips up when he teased me, but he pulled back. I whimpered, which only made him smile down at me.
“Please,” I said again.
He nodded, his expression suddenly serious. “I’ll be gentle.”
I knew there would be some discomfort the first time and I was ready for it. What I wasn’t ready for was how good it felt to have him sliding inside of me. How warm and whole it made me feel, or the way it made my heart swell until it threatened to burst.
The pain was over in one thrust, and then Sawyer stilled, still watching me for any sign that I didn’t want this to continue. But I did. I didn’t just want it; I needed it. I needed him. Every inch of him inside and out for the rest of my life.
When he started to move the sensations swirling through me were so intense that I had to bury my face against his shoulder. Words bubbled up inside me, threatening to burst out, but I bit them back. Saying them might destroy what we had and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Especially now, with Sawyer’s body rocking against mine while the delicious pressure built in me. I wanted to enjoy this.
“Lucy,” he gasped, his mouth right next to my ear as he said the very words I had stopped from coming out only seconds before. “I love you. God, I love you so much.”
My own gasp came out when my body began to tremble from the inside out, pulsing and throbbing with pleasure, and words floated from my lips. “I love you.”
We spent the rest of the day in bed, naked. Kissing. Making love again as outside snow began to fall, then bringing a loaf of fresh bread into the room so we could eat it together.
When the sun went down and the cabin grew dark, Sawyer pulled me against him. I laid my head on his bare chest, savoring the way his heart thumped against my ear as he ran his fingers up and down my spine.
“I’m worried about going to town and leaving you here,” he said against my head.
“Me too.”
“Are you worried about being alone or about me not coming back?”
“Both.” My eyes had filled with tears and even though just a few hours earlier I had told myself I would have an adult conversation about this. It was impossible. Thinking of losing Sawyer now just hurt too much.
He sighed. “I know. Me too. I don’t know what the right answer is. Leaving the house empty would put the animals at risk, and taking you down there would put you at risk. If something happened to you, I don’t know if I would ever get over it.”
Even though it was dark, I tilted my face up so I could look him in the eye. “I’ll do whatever you think is best, but Sawyer, I’m terrified that you’ll disappear just like Seamus did.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“How can you promise something like that?”
Sawyer sat up, pulling me with him, and the moonlight shining in through window helped illuminate his face just enough that I was able to see the fierce expression in his eyes. “I would kill every man, woman, and zombie in that settlement before I let them stop me from getting back here to you.”
I kissed him, throwing my body against his so hard that it almost knocked the wind out of me. His arms wrapped around me and then I was on my back and his hands were once again exploring my body. He touched me in ways that made me gasp with pleasure and beg for more, and kissed me in ways that made me tremble with the force of his love. When he finally slid inside me, his movements were slow and long, like he was savoring the feel of me so he could remember it for the rest of his life. I wrapped my legs around his waist and moved with him, urging him deeper with each thrust.
We came together, wrapped in each others arms while the wind slammed into the cabin around us, and when he was done, he kissed me and whispered that he loved me, and I knew with certainty that from here on out we would have a real life. Together. We wouldn’t allow anyone—man or beast—to rip us apart.
Did you enjoy this novella? If so, please take a moment to leave a review on Amazon, and while you’re there, be sure to check out one my other Zombie Apocalypse Love Story Novellas!
Fighting for a Future
Playing the Odds
The Key to Survival
The Thing We Cannot Change
Surviving the Storm
Tribe of Daughters
Chapter One
Jameson
The rain outside falls in thick sheets that makes it seem like it’s trying to wash us away, and all I can do is cower in my tent and wonder how the cold sank deep enough inside my body to turn my blood to ice. And how the hell I ended up here to begin with.
Forge A New Frontier!
The company slogan was just upbeat enough to trick me into signing on the dotted line, and the next thing I knew, I was on a train headed west. Now I realize how idiotic I’d been, but at the time it seemed like an adventure. The load of cash they’d promised probably had a little something to do with how blind I’d been as well. It’s damn hard to see straight when someone dangles that many dollar signs in front of your face, especially when your life has been a pile of shit for as long as you can remember.
Of course, the asshole who recruited me failed to mention that most of these trips ended with half the crew dying of things like cholera or dysentery. Illnesses no one should have these days, not even in the cities where the air is thick with pollution and garbage lines the streets. Out here, though, where civilization slipped away decades ago and has stayed extinct, anything goes.
The tent flap gets shoved open, letting in a burst of rain and wind, and Daniel ducks inside a second later. “It’s comin’ down like a monsoon out there.”
He yanks his hat off and shakes it, throwing drops of rain across the tent, and shivers shoot through my body.
“It’s wet enough in here, you asshole,” I grumble and pull the blanket tighter around my shoulders. “Should have kept my ass where I was.”
Daniel drops at my side and flashes me teeth the color of the weak tea my mom used to drink, courtesy of the chewing tobacco he can’t go a second without. He’s only a little older than my twenty-seven years, but he looks like he has at least a decade on me. A jagged scar runs up one side of his face, from his jaw to the corner of his eye, and poorly drawn tattoos cover most of his arms. He’s also missing a front tooth and the little finger on his right hand, almost like he’s falling apart one piece at a time.
“Just a little rain,” he says in a voice that wheezes its way out of him. “I been through worse.”
I don’t doubt it—for him this trip wasn’t optional; it was this or jail—but I keep my thoughts about how he probably deserves worse to myself.
“Yeah, well, my life has always been shit, but at least I was usually dry,” I say, wondering if jail could possibly be worse than sitting in a mud puddle in the middle of nowhere.
“Everybody’s life is shit these days.” Daniel’s mouth scrunches up like he’s about to spit, but he stops when I pin him with a glare icy enough to freeze the devil in hell.
He isn’t wrong. Things haven’t been good for decades. The plague that killed off most of the population seventy years ago is long gone, but we sure as hell haven’t recovered. I’ve seen movies about the old west and pioneers who braved savage people and wild, untamed lands, and the scenario isn’t too far from where we are now. In fact, if it wasn’t for the technology left over from the old days, I’m sure we’d be right back there.
Not that it does the average person a lot of good. The cars still running are reserved for the wealthy since oil production is slow and expensive, and electricity comes and goes most of the time. Growing up, a night with no lights and no heat wasn’t uncommon, and I should be used to freezing my ass off the way I am, but this trip isn’t anything like I expected.
This damn trip.
I shake my head thinking about it. The railroad company promised me a decent chunk of money up front and a shit ton when I returned home, and it had all seemed so simple when I signed up. Even
now, hunkered down in a shitty tent while it pours buckets, I’m not sure where I went wrong. We go out in a group and repair the train tracks damaged from years of disuse. No problem, right? Except there’s only one working train, so they had no intention of leaving it with us. We could have used trucks, but these days gasoline is more valuable than gold, which means we’ve been traveling across the country in wagons pulled by horses. Another detail conveniently left out of the company’s sales pitch.
“Should have stayed back in Baltimore,” I mutter to myself.
Daniel hoots like it’s the best joke he’s ever heard, and I stifle an urge to punch him.
I’m in the middle of glaring at him when a shout rises up outside. It’s barely audible over the pounding rain, but the whinny of the horses is loud and clear despite the storm, and it has my back stiffening as thoughts of wild animals flip through my mind. I heard a rumor that the last group had an altercation with a pack of lions. The cats aren’t indigenous to the area, but before the plague, parks displaying all kinds of exotic animals dotted the country, and a lot of them were released when people realized the end was near. Some species have thrived in the wild, especially out here where there are no humans left.
I’ve never seen a lion in person, but I’ve seen pictures, and the last thing I want is to have one of them sink their teeth into me. So I stay where I am and pull my blanket tighter around my shoulders like the thin fabric will keep me safe.
More shouting breaks through the air, this time angry, even violent sounding. There’s something distinctly feminine about the voices, which makes no sense because there are no women on this trip, and even though I don’t want to get my face eaten off, I find myself getting to my feet.