by Bay, Louise
“Wow. Careful, you don’t want to split a nail,” I replied.
“Darcy is actually very practical,” Ryder said, defending his sister.
“He’s just kidding,” Darcy said, taking my arm and pulling me over to join them.
The churning in my belly dissolved into warmth as I realized we knew each other a little better than I’d known any woman other than my grandmother. I liked that we had shared experiences and understood each other. I hadn’t realized being so connected with someone could feel so right.
“Ryder’s opened some ridiculously expensive red wine, so we’re all drinking that…unless I can get you something else?” Darcy asked. Scarlett was perched on the old desk by the window and after we shook hands, Ryder retook his seat in one of the buttoned leather chairs.
“Whatever everyone else is drinking is fine with me.”
“So how are you enjoying Woolton Village?” Scarlett asked.
“Very much,” I replied. “I like being able to escape from London more than I thought I would.”
“Such a shame you’re hoping to ruin it with your plans for Manor House Club,” Darcy said, sighing dramatically as she handed me a glass of red wine.
“I actually had some news on that front today.” I took a sip of the dark-red liquid, pretending I wasn’t acutely aware of Darcy’s focused attention.
“Go on,” she said, fixing me with a suspicious stare.
“I signed the paperwork this afternoon for the Planton site this afternoon,” I said.
“Wait, the one I took you to? With Ivy?”
I nodded, as if I didn’t know this would be a huge deal for her.
“You didn’t tell me you’d made an offer. When did that happen?”
I hadn’t said anything because I hadn’t wanted to disappoint her if the deal fell through. But the truth was, developing the Planton site made much more sense than Badsley. “You knew I was interested. I said so when we saw the site together.”
“I didn’t know you put in an offer though. What does that mean for Badsley and your appeal?”
I shrugged. “Nothing. I’m going to develop the Planton site.” Darcy’s face broke into a huge grin.
“So you’re not going to be developing Badsley? At all? You’re abandoning the appeal?”
“I instructed my team to withdraw the appeal.”
Darcy looked at me as if she was trying to make sense of what I was saying, then linked her arms around my neck and pressed her lips against mine as if no one was watching.
“You’ve never been so hot to me as you are right now. If Ryder and Scarlett weren’t here and I hadn’t made that apple pie, I’d be climbing you like a tree.”
I chuckled. “You think I’m hot?”
“Always, but right now? You’re white-hot.” She grinned up at me. “I knew I could count on you.”
Count on me? Sirens began to screech in my brain. I hadn’t done this for her. This made sense from a business perspective. “It was the best option financially.” The only person who relied on me was my grandmother. Why did Darcy think she could count on me? Expect things from me?
“Whatever you say,” she replied, squeezing my arm. She clearly didn’t believe me. But I was deadly serious. The last thing I wanted was to encourage Darcy to count on me. I didn’t want the responsibility or the expectation.
Darcy and I had wandered into no-man’s-land, where the rules and boundaries weren’t clear, and I was paying the price. I didn’t want anyone putting their faith in me. It was too risky, too easy to let people down. I worked hard to ensure people in my world had no expectations of me. That way I couldn’t disappoint anyone.
I didn’t want to be a man who broke promises, who left a trail of destruction and unhappiness behind me. That was my father’s legacy, not mine.
The only way I could let people down was if they counted on me. Darcy had apparently done that once. She wouldn’t do it a second time. I would make sure of it.
* * *
Although the surroundings were more formal than I was used to for a family meal, dinner with Scarlett, Ryder and Darcy had been relaxed—fun, even. And I’d managed to put her comment about counting on me to the back of my mind. I’d pressed pause. I would decide what to do about that later.
Darcy had a lot of responsibility, which she took very seriously, but the sweet, happy side of her that I got to see more and more often had shone through tonight.
“I’m going to go sort out the pie.” Darcy had insisted on sending all the staff home as soon as our main courses were served.
“You want me to help?” I asked.
“I’ll go,” Scarlett said, setting her napkin on the table and following Darcy out of the dining room.
“So what made you move to the country?” Ryder asked as the girls left.
“My grandmother and Badsley. She grew up in the house and I’ve always wanted to buy it back for her. And I enjoy spending time with her. She’s my only family.”
“And you’re back here a lot?”
“Yeah. At the moment I come back on Thursday night, work from home on Friday and I’m here until Monday morning.”
“The journey’s not too bad, is it? I can normally do it in less than an hour and a half.”
I nodded, but didn’t confess that I used a helicopter. I knew that Darcy had banned her brother from landing one at Woolton and I wasn’t going to start anything up between them.
“And you don’t miss London at the weekends? I always thought you enjoyed the nightlife.”
I couldn’t remember Ryder and I ever having a conversation about anything personal but I had no doubt that my reputation wasn’t one of a committed family man. “I like London and the country,” I said honestly. And I liked Darcy. Seriously liked her. For the first time in my life, I thought about something other than work throughout the day, wondered what Darcy was doing and whether she was as distracted as I was.
But we hadn’t known each other long, and I’d never been in this position before. I had no idea what happened after this. When it was just Darcy and me, I didn’t think about the future because we were there, together in the moment, enjoying ourselves. But now I knew she had been expecting me to drop the plans for Manor House Club—for her. That she was counting on me…I couldn’t just think about the here and now.
“I expect you to look after her. I know she’s feisty and tough, but she’s been through a lot. She’s breakable.”
What did “look after her” mean? I nodded, but didn’t know what to say. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Darcy, but part of my attraction to her was that she didn’t need looking after. “She’s a wonderful woman.”
I didn’t know what would hurt Darcy. I didn’t know how to take someone else into account when living my life. Ryder had told me to take care of her, but how? I had no idea how that translated into my day-to-day actions, or even if I wanted to be that man. If I took care of her, wouldn’t she just rely on me more?
Tonight had meant to be casual and relaxed, but alarm bells kept sounding. First Darcy counting on me and now Ryder expecting me to look after her. Pressure built in my chest and my mind began to flip through possible solutions.
“Pie!” Darcy announced as she and Scarlett burst through the door.
“Excellent—I’ve never tasted your cooking,” I said as Darcy placed the pie between us.
“You haven’t missed anything,” Ryder said.
“It’s better than your cooking, Ryder,” Scarlett said. “You could burn a boiled egg.”
“I have other skills,” Ryder replied. “Like earning enough money so that I don’t have to boil an egg.”
Darcy started to laugh. It was nice to see her enjoying her family. She clearly worshipped Ryder and the fact that I understood why made me like her even more, but it felt as if I were in quicksand, and I was sinking faster and faster. I just needed to put it to the back of my mind, get through tonight and get back to how Darcy and I were together when it was just her and
me. If that was even possible.
As she sat down next to me, she placed her hand on my thigh.
“You okay?” Darcy whispered as she handed me my bowl of apple pie.
I nodded. “Sure. Looking forward to this,” I said, glancing down at the pudding. Other than my mother and grandmother, I’d never had a woman cook for me. Not that Darcy had done this just for me. But it felt nice. Caring. Like she was looking after me—but I couldn’t block out the sirens in my head.
I just needed to figure out if I should put out the fire or run for safety.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Darcy
The sky was dark like it was midnight, even though it was hours before and the rain echoed off the windows and roof as if it were trying to find a way in. Woolton Hall always seemed quieter and emptier when Ryder and Scarlett left, compared to how it had been before they arrived. I stood in the doorway, sheltering from the rain, warmed by the half hour of hugs and goodbyes I’d managed to squeeze out. I continued to wave long after the car disappeared down the drive and out of sight.
The sense that something had been missing grew in me as I closed and bolted the door. I hadn’t seen Logan since dinner on Friday night, and although I appreciated that he knew I was spending time with my family, things didn’t feel quite right without him with me.
I missed him. I missed him, and that was a problem, because I’d never missed any man before and I didn’t know what to do with it.
I pulled my phone from my jeans to see if Logan had messaged. I hadn’t heard from him since he left after dinner on Friday, and something seemed off.
There was a distance between us. Perhaps I was creating it. The desire for him was unnerving. I’d always had to make an effort to find time for people I dated, but with Logan, space for him just appeared. I didn’t need to try. Maybe I was holding back. And perhaps I’d created too much space for him.
I shouldn’t read anything into it—we were both busy. Independent. We didn’t owe each other anything. If I wanted to hear from him, I should message him. I brought up our last exchange and began to type different ways of telling him I missed him, then deleting them. I wandered into the library and collapsed near the unlit fire.
My phone buzzed.
“Hello,” I answered.
“Hey,” Logan replied. “Are your family still there?” His voice was like a warm blanket I wanted to sink into.
“They just left. I was thinking about lighting a fire—it’s so dark and miserable out.”
“Sounds nice. You going to toast some marshmallows?”
I laughed. “Maybe. You want to come over and join in the fun?” A knock on the door interrupted my grin. “Hang on, there’s someone at the door and Lane left for the day.”
I sped down the hallway and unbolted the door. Whoever was outside would be getting soaked to the skin.
As I swung the door open I came face to face with Logan. He held up a bag of marshmallows. “I missed you.”
I wasn’t sure if it was relief or excitement that meant I jumped into his arms and tangled my legs around his waist. “I missed you,” I said as I kissed his damp nose.
“Can I come in? It’s pretty wet out here.”
“Yes, but I’m not getting down.”
He chuckled and carried me through the doorway, closing it behind him.
It was so good to be in his arms, to feel his warmth and breathe in the clean, fresh smell of him. Maybe a little too good, but right then I didn’t care. I didn’t want to analyze or worry I was feeling too much. “I wasn’t expecting to see you, but I’m so pleased you’re here.”
“You’re just using me for my marshmallows.”
“And the sex—don’t forget about the sex.” I pressed a kiss to his neck.
He laughed as he carried me down the hallway toward the library.
“Wait. You brought marshmallows—how did you know I’d want a fire?”
“I didn’t. I just thought it was the weather for it.”
I pulled back to look at him. “You, Mr. Steele, are a mind reader.”
He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, then thought better of it and continued into the library. “I have no idea how to light a fire,” he said.
“City boys.” I slid out of his arms. “I’ll show you—I’m going to cheat anyway and use firelighters.”
I tried not to stare as Logan unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled up his sleeves before kneeling with me before the empty fireplace. I handed him the kindling and wood in the order he needed it and coaxed him to shift things so they were set up for a perfect fire. Finally, I handed him the matches.
“Just light the firelighters and they’ll do the rest.”
“Whoa,” he said as the flames took hold, poking at the logs.
“I’m going to get marshmallow stuff,” I said as I got to my feet and headed to the kitchen, unable to wipe the smile from my face. The distance between us had fallen away and we were back to how we were together. Here he was, his hair a little damp, a day’s worth of stubble on his chin, every bit as sexy and good company as I knew him to be.
When I returned to the library, he was still sitting in front of the fire, watching the flames.
As I closed the door, he turned and held out his arm for me to join him.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I said as he concentrated on opening the bag of marshmallows he’d brought with him. “I thought maybe Friday was a little…”
“I like it when it’s just us,” he said. “In the here and now.”
Perhaps dinner with Ryder and Scarlett had freaked him out a little—even though he’d seemed relaxed and happy at the time, perhaps it had been too much. “You didn’t like Ryder and Scarlett?”
“I liked them a lot,” he replied, offering me the open bag of marshmallows.
“But you prefer when it’s just us? It was you who didn’t want to hide in the bathroom.”
He rolled his eyes at me. “I don’t like lying or misleading people.”
“I understand that. But you said yes to dinner.”
“I know, and I genuinely wanted to come. And I enjoyed it.”
“But?” There had to be a but, a reason for the distance.
He sucked in a breath. “I’m new to this. Navigating it the best I can. All I have for you is that I like spending time with you. It’s easy. When you introduce external factors…it’s less…it’s more comfortable when it’s just us.”
His answer provoked a thousand questions to burst from my brain. What was this between us? Was he looking for forever? Was I? Could I ever be with someone like Logan who was the opposite of the men I’d dated before him? I knew that if he wanted comfortable, then the kind of adjustment it took to build that kind of life together wasn’t going to be what he was aiming for.
“I’ve been thinking.” He took a marshmallow and spiked it with the end of his skewer. “What are you doing next weekend?”
“I don’t think I have any plans. Why?”
“I thought we’d go away. There’s a place in Scotland.” He concentrated on getting another marshmallow on his skewer, then he looked up and found me watching him. “What do you think?”
Scotland would be just the two of us. He wanted to spend time with me, but wanted it to be easy. I wanted to go, and I wanted it easy and comfortable, didn’t I? He wanted us to go away together. And I wanted exactly the same thing. As long as our expectations matched, that was all that mattered. “I think that sounds like a great idea.”
He nodded and if it hadn’t been dark and if the flames hadn’t been casting strange shapes across the room, I could have sworn a slight blush crossed his cheeks. “Come and sit here.” He pulled me between his legs so we both sat facing the fire.
So far, it was good between us when it was just us—easy and comfortable. Maybe it would stay that way. But if time with Ryder and Scarlett was a bump in the road, I knew from experience that life created far bigger obstacles that would be far from comfortable
.
Chapter Thirty
Logan
Every time I was away from Darcy, when I saw her again, it hit me in my chest like a sucker punch how beautiful she was.
“You have freckles across your nose. More than before. How come?” I asked as I took her hand to help her out of the helicopter and onto the grounds of the hotel. I’d spent the weekend her brother was over thinking about her and the alarm bells and decided to ignore them the best I could and try and take one step at a time.
“They only come out in the summer. I used to try and cover them up but—”
“You shouldn’t. They make you even more beautiful.”
“Logan…” she said, as if she was confused.
“What?”
“You can’t say that stuff to me,” she replied, shaking her head.
We made our way across the lawns toward the hotel. “Why? It’s true.” I hadn’t wanted to put a label on what we were to each other, and Ryder’s warning to me, and Darcy saying she knew she could count on me had freaked me out. But when it was just the two of us, I could feel myself falling for this amazing woman. The more time I spent with her, the more I wanted with her. The more I got to know her, the more I respected her…and wanted her to respect me.
“Have you been to this place before?” she asked, not-so-subtly changing the subject.
“No, actually, but I’ve always wanted to. My ancestors used to own the place.”
“This was your ancestral home?”
“Our Scottish one. My father lost it in a game of poker before I was born.”
“Wow. You didn’t want to bring your grandmother?”
“I don’t think she’s got any interest in reliving history. But I’ve never seen it before, and sometimes it’s good to remember the mistakes of the past.” I’d been curious about this place for a while, and coming here with Darcy seemed like the right thing to do. She loved the countryside and you couldn’t get more rural in Britain than the highlands of Scotland.