“Yes, yes, I see that.”
Rose's mind temporarily went blank as she tried to find the words to speak. What had Frederick told her to say? He had been her rock since this drama had unfolded, supporting her while society gossiped about her. Her father and grandmother had been disappointed in her, and she had expected no less. It had been Frederick who had convinced them that she was truly remorseful of her actions and wished to make amends. His calm and level-headed nature managed to win over the two most important people in her life, and now he was officially courting her.
It had taken a day or two to come to terms with the fact that her previous dreams and aspirations were no longer on the table, but a few days spent with Frederick had shown her that she did not need a title to feel that she was someone. He had shown her a different way of life, one that seemed more fulfilling than the superficial one she had held onto for so long. Rose did not love him yet, but she did feel great affection for him.
"Miss Charpentier, unfortunately I cannot remain here all day. Please, say what it is that you wish to say."
“Oh, yes. Well, I have come here to give my sincerest apologies to your sister, Miss Violet. It was wrong of me to meddle in her affairs, and I am hoping that I may earn her forgiveness.”
The woman pursed her lips, her hands going behind her back. This did not bode well.
“Do you believe that a simple apology will nullify all that you have done? My sister and Lord Shore are at odds with each other, and you are the cause of that. You have destroyed their happiness due to your selfish nature. How dare you come into our home and ask to see her?”
To her utter dismay, Rose felt her eyes well up with tears. Do not cry, do not cry! Frederick had told her to control her emotions, but all she wished to do was run away.
“I am not condoning anything that I have done, Miss Violet, but I understand that I have wronged your sister and Lord Shore. If I were able to take it all back, I would. The remorse that I have felt has consumed my every waking moment, and I deserve it, I know that I do. There is no excuse for what I have done, but if your sister could find it in her heart to forgive me, I would be forever grateful. This is not how I was raised, Miss Violet, and I have disgraced both myself and my family. I am ashamed to say that my foolish dreams drove me to commit this blunder, and I have learned from it. Please, believe me.”
Rose watched as the woman's body relaxed. Her hands came to her side, her lips lost their stiffness, and her shoulders dropped. “What you say is true, Miss Charpentier. I do not see any deceit in you. I shall try to convince my sister to see you, but I do not promise anything.”
Relieved, Rose nodded. “Thank you, that is all I ask.”
“Please, follow me into the parlour. I shall have a servant bring you a refreshment while I speak with my sister.”
As Rose followed Violet, she thought of how proud Frederick would be. But it was not over yet. She still had Alice to speak to, and that by far would be the hardest thing that she would do.
***
"Miss Charpentier is here, and she wishes to speak with me?"
Alice stared at her sister in disbelief. Had the woman not done enough? Now she wished to intrude upon the only place she had left? Her home was her domain. Yes, she currently did not roam about the house as was customary, but that did not give Rose Charpentier the right to enter her home and believe that she would speak with her. Who did she think she was?
“Yes, and I strongly advise you to speak with her.”
“You strongly advise that I speak to her?” Alice repeated. “Not only have you conspired with Luke, but you choose to side with the woman who set this unfortunate situation into motion?”
“I have not sided with anyone, Alice. Why would you think such a thing? I am the one who is working to ensure that you are happy, and I know that Luke will make you unbelievably happy. You choose not to see it because you are afraid, but you must step out of your comfort and see the truth that is right before you. The first stage to your healing is waiting for you downstairs in the parlour.”
Healing, she says. Will speaking to Rose bring her healing? She could not be sure of that. Alice started when she saw tears well up in Violet's eyes. She went to her sister, setting aside her determination to remain aloof.
“Violet! Why do you cry so? Surely it is not because I refuse to speak with Miss Charpentier?”
"Alice," she sniffed. "Why do you torture yourself in this way? It has been many days since that evening, and yet you have refused to come to terms with it and see a way forward. I have never seen you act in this way and, frankly, it frightens me to think that you are destroying your life due to your refusal to hear a word that anyone speaks.
“Mama is beside herself with guilt. Luke is trying his best to tell you that he truly loves you. I have been trying to show you that not everything is as how you believe it to be. And the very person who caused this is downstairs wishing to ask for your forgiveness. Everything can be resolved if you would just stop your stubbornness and leave this room!"
Violet finished her sentence on a howl, moving away from her sister.
“Very well. I will go and see her if it will make you happy.”
“No!” her sister said vehemently. “Do not do it for me, but for yourself. It is your happiness at stake, Alice.”
But she did not want to put her heart on the line again. If she met with Rose Charpentier, Violet may calm down. Alice did not like to see her sister in this state, which made her think about her own state. If she was distressed at seeing her sister cry, how might her sister have felt dealing with Alice’s current emotional state? She could see the double standard.
“Very well, I will see her and give her an opportunity to explain herself. However, I ask that you do not force me on anything from this moment on. This includes Luke.” It looked as though she might argue, but her sister nodded instead.
“If you give me your word that you will consider all that Miss Charpentier has to say, and keep your mind open to change, I shall not become overly emotional again.” Her sister hurriedly dried her tears, dabbing at the wetness on her cheeks.
“You have my word.” Giving her word was half the battle. The other was seeing and talking to the woman who had given her so much grief.
Chapter 15
Alice took her time going to the parlour, rehearsing in her mind precisely what she would say to Rose Charpentier. The woman should not be there, but what could she do? She had already promised Violet that she would speak to her. She could not go back on her word now.
Alice felt that her life was full of nothing but people who would bring her trouble, Violet included. Why could they not leave her be? She wished to deal with this on her own, but they constantly interfered. Yes, they may do it out of concern, but she was old enough to make her own decisions. Could they not see that?
She stopped short of the door, gathering her wits about her. One step further and she would enter the room. How would she react? She told herself to go inside. She had more self-control than she gave herself credit for.
Alice did not think about it any further. She walked inside the room, her eyes immediately going to the dejected-looking woman, whose head was bowed, hands holding a teacup that looked still full of milky tea.
“Miss Charpentier, how are you?”
The woman jerked, a little tea sloshed over the side of her cup. Alice heard her small cry of dismay as she placed the teacup on the side table and kneeled on the floor, using the hem of her dress to dab the little wet spots on the carpet. “I am sorry, Miss Campbell. I am such a clumsy mess. I will fix it. Please, give me but a moment.”
The woman continued to frantically dab at the carpet, her carefully coiffed hair starting to unravel. Alice could not believe that she was thinking this, but she felt sorry for the woman. If she were to be objective, she would see that it took courage for her to come to her and ask for forgiveness. She did not strike Alice as a woman who frequently admitted any wrongdoing.
“Miss Charpe
ntier.”
The young woman paused. “I am sorry, Miss Campbell, I am truly sorry. I do not have the words to express my remorse and the guilt I feel for ruining the relationship between you and Lord Shore. It was not my place to speak as I did, but I did, and I am humiliated." She had not raised her head yet, but Alice could tell that she spoke with all sincerity.
“Please, return to your seat. I cannot speak with you when you are on the ground.”
The woman left the floor, slowly taking her seat. Alice noted how her eyes remained averted, although she did attempt to look her way. Rose reached for her teacup, her trembling hand not going unnoticed by Alice. Could she truly be so fearful of speaking with her?
“Miss Charpentier, I do not hate you, although I cannot lie about the anger I feel towards you.”
“Your anger is justified, Miss Campbell. It is only a testament to your character that you do not harbour any hatred towards me.”
She was so highly strung that she was making Alice rather tense. She wished that she would look at her rather than at the floor.
“Miss Charpentier, this conversation would go better if we had eye contact.”
Rose went still for just a second before lifting her eyes. Alice searched them, seeing the shame she felt. What she did was wrong, but her remorse was true, and she was here to ask for forgiveness. Perhaps it was time to lay aside their differences and bury the hatchet.
"Miss Campbell, can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I acted in a deplorable manner, and I truly cannot justify my actions. However, perhaps if I told you something of my life, you might understand the insanity of my actions?"
“I am willing to listen to you, Miss Charpentier. Share your life story with me, but do not do so to invoke pity within me. You have caused much damage, and while you are not entirely at fault, you were the catalyst that set everything in motion.”
“Oh no, please do not think that I wish for your pity, Miss Campbell. I only wish for you to see that what I did has its roots in my past. But I do not seek to place the blame elsewhere. I am responsible for my own actions, but I have been shaped by my past.”
“Very well, do continue.”
The woman shifted in her seat, her eyes taking on a faraway look as she spoke.
“I suppose it started with my mother's untimely death. She died soon after I was born, leaving me motherless and my father heartbroken. You see, my father loved my mother with his whole being, and had done so from the moment he met her. He was some years older than her, but had never married before and never wished to.” She smiled. “I think that my grandmother despaired of ever having grandchildren, so when she learnt that my mother was with child soon after their marriage, her hope was restored. There was great celebration in the house of Charpentier as everyone believed that the heir would be born. You can imagine their disappointment when it was a girl.”
Alice knew how much importance was put on the male child. Daughters were not as honoured as they were. “Were you treated unjustly?”
“Oh no! I think that because I came from my mother, my father did all he could to honour the promise she asked him to make. She must have known that I would not be treated fairly due to my gender, and made my father promise to care and love me as much as he had loved her. My father did what he could, and Grandmother Charpentier did the rest – my mother's abigail told me this all this before she died many years ago. She wanted me to understand why I was always locked up, never allowed to interact with other children my age. Any sniffle would send the entire household into a panic, believing I might die.
“My grandmother instilled strong values and morals within me – I am ashamed to say that I have broken many of them in what I did to you and Lord Shore. I was smothered, and as a result, I wanted to break free. Grandmother Charpentier did her best to fill the role of a mother, but no one can replace one's mother, can they?”
Alice did not know what she would do without her own mother. She was more determined than ever before to make amends with her now.
“I looked for attention in other places, so when I noticed that my appearance was attracting male attention, I used it to my advantage. I saw that women who were married to wealthy and titled men were respected by all, and I wanted that respect. This is the reason I set my eyes on Lord Shore. I did not care that he had set his eyes on another, I merely wanted to be his wife that I may gain the respect and adoration of society.
“It consumed me to the point where I no longer recognised myself, and it worried me. However, I pushed that aside, thinking that if I could but gain the attention of Lord Shore, everything would fall into place. It never occurred to me that there was true love between you. When I heard about the arranged marriage, I thought it the perfect opportunity to have you realise that he was not the man for you. I thought my actions justified because I knew you were not the type of woman to stand for such a thing, whereas I would welcome it. As soon as I revealed the details of the arranged marriage to you, I wished that I could take it back. Unfortunately, once words leave your mouth, there is no turning back.”
Rose looked entirely morose as she said it, her voice heavy with regret.
“Have you spoken to Lord Shore?”
Rose shook her head. "He loathes the very sight of me, Miss Campbell. What can I do but hope he can one day forgive me? All I wanted was to have a family of my own, one that was respected in society, and a husband who loved me as much as my father loved my mother. I was determined to make that man Lord Shore, overstepping my boundaries. I am disgusted with myself for coming between the two of you, Miss Campbell. You and Lord Shore have the chance to become a beautiful family, as he adores you like no other.
“Please, do not continue to be livid with him due to my actions. I know he has come here nearly every day to speak with you and that you refuse to see him. You must see that no other man would do such a thing for you, and it has made him a source of amusement for others. He loves you, Miss Campbell, he would not come here if he did not – no one can deny this fact. I do not know if you shall see it in this way quite yet, but you are fortunate. You can have it all if only you would accept the marquess into your life and allow him to make amends."
Could she do that? What if Luke were to hurt her again?
“Miss Charpentier, I appreciate you coming here and asking for my forgiveness. My mother has taught me that it is beneficial to forgive than to hold onto grudges, and I believe her. For this very reason, I tell you that I hold nothing against you. You may rest assured that I do not think ill of you, nor do I hold you accountable for all that has happened. You have my forgiveness."
The woman's change in expression was instant. Fear, uncertainty and remorse disappeared, showing a bright smile that only held relief and thankfulness. “Thank you, Miss Campbell. No words can describe the lightness my heart feels now that you have forgiven me. Please, would you forgive Lord Shore as well? He loves you, of that I am certain.”
Alice looked away. It was one thing to forgive Rose, but quite another to allow Luke back into her life. She was only just gaining her equilibrium, seeing him would knock her off balance once more.
“I do not know if that is a wise thing for me to do, Miss Charpentier. There are many things to consider, and perhaps Lord Shore and I were never meant to be.”
“Heavens, no!”
The force in Rose's voice surprised her. Alice frowned, not understanding why she should push such a thing. What did she have to gain by her relationship with Luke?
“Forgive my frankness, Miss Charpentier, but why should it concern you whether or not I give Lord Shore another chance?”
Pained, Rose looked pleadingly at her. “It is my fault that you are estranged, Miss Campbell. Had I remained silent, he would have explained the details of the marriage to you himself. Lord Shore's only fault was not to inform you sooner. But that does not mean that he would not have done so. I believe he was fearful of your reaction, and he had reason to be.”
The Way to Capture a Marquess's Heart: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 25