by Jannat Bhat
“What’s wrong with you, Ethan?” Eliana asked, her face pale. “Why would you utter such nonsense about Julian?”
“Eliana, I was . . .” Ethan cursed inwards.
“Shut up! I’ve heard enough. Julian was right about you. Just to make him look bad you’d spew such terrible lies.” She said angrily. “Well guess what? I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t care what you believe, Eliana. I thought it was Naomi I was speaking to.” Ethan said.
Eliana pulled herself away and went in search of Julian. Why in the world would Julian act as Naomi’s boyfriend? And have dinner with them? Julian hadn’t uttered a word to her about any of this which is why she knew Ethan was lying. She had to know what she’d just heard was wrong. She found Carter first. “Carter, have you seen Julian?” She asked, distressed.
“He was around there.” He pointed towards the entrance of the apartment. Eliana continued to search for him until she found him standing in the bedroom with Naomi. She made her way to him but stopped in her tracks, hearing them talking.
“. . . you for being there for me. You are an amazing person.” Naomi said. “My parents love you already. But since you’re my boyfriend, that was a given.” She nudged Julian playfully. “They had a great time with you at dinner.”
“It was nice to meet them too,” Julian said. “They’re good people.”
“I know it’s technically my birthday, but I wanted to give you a present.” She handed him a small gift-wrapped box. Julian opened it and saw a silver glistening watch resting on a tiny pillow.
“You didn’t have to do this, Naomi,” Julian said closing the box.
“I wanted to,” Naomi said and hoped he would accept it as a gift of gratitude.
“Thank you. We should head back inside.” He said wanting to see the face of his girl. She had been away too long since the dance already.
Eliana heard glass shatter in the distance but it could very well have been her heart. She ran back inside and stumbled into Ethan. “Hey, what’s the rush?” He asked. “Where are you running off to?”
“Home.” Tears threatened to fall down her face.
“Eliana, look, I feel bad about earlier. Let me drop you home.” He said.
“No, it’s fine. I’ll go.” Eliana tried to control her overbearing feelings. “Have you seen Jax?”
“He left asking me to tell you to get a ride with Julian. Please, Eliana, let me drop you. I insist.” Ethan said.
She saw Julian making his way towards her and said yes to Ethan in haste. She’d come with Jax but didn’t care who dropped her as long as it wasn’t Julian. She couldn’t be around him right now.
“If you don’t mind me asking, did you leave because of what I said back there?” Ethan asked once they were in the car.
“No. Why would anything with Julian affect me?” She sniffed. “I have nothing to do with him.”
“Then what happened?” Ethan wanted to know if his guess was correct about Julian and Eliana. “You were mad when I spoke ill of him and now you’re all upset.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She said in a tone that left no room for conversation and turned her head out the window. When she stepped out of his car at her gate, she stopped and asked him, “How did you know? That he was acting as her boyfriend?”
“I got to talking with her parents. They told me about it earlier tonight.” Ethan explained. “Goodnight, Eliana.” He drove away with that.
Eliana couldn’t for the life of her understand why Julian would do this and hide it from her. People only hide things when they’re guilty.
And as she went to her room, Ethan realized that you didn’t always need words to confirm something.
Actions were loud enough.
Chapter Ten
Eliana didn’t answer Julian’s calls. She could understand that Naomi didn’t know anything but how Julian could do this when he was in a relationship with Eliana? Though it was a secret between them, it didn’t make it any less real. Has he ever been serious about me? Or was I another of his conquests? Another challenge? She couldn’t bear the direction her thoughts were taking so she took some sleeping pills and tried to get some sleep and stop the torturous thoughts.
Julian was worried if everything was okay with Eliana. She didn’t look too well when he saw her and why did she leave with Ethan of all people? She won’t even receive his calls which bothered him all the more resulting in another restless night.
Before leaving for school the next morning, Jax caught his sister at the breakfast table where she picked at her pancakes absentmindedly. “What’s wrong, El?”
“Why do you think something’s wrong?” Eliana asked without looking up. She was already dressed and ready to leave.
“Because you haven’t said a word since you came down and are barely eating your breakfast,” He said.
Eliana looked up. “I’m fine.” She said.
“Julian called and said you left the party early. Why’s that?”
“Julian called you?” Eliana asked stiffly.
“Yeah, he was worried if you’d made it home safely.” Jax had spoken to his sister on the phone last night and assured Julian that she was fine too.
“I had a headache. But I’m fine now.” She assured him.
“You still don’t look too well, though. Why don’t you take a day off? Jax spoke gently.
“No, Jax. I’m really fine.” She stood up from her chair. “I’ll wait for you by the car.”
“Be there in a few,” Jax said stuffing his face with pancakes.
Julian found Eliana in the parking lot and tried to catch her eye but she studiously avoided him. When he saw her by the locker again at break and tried to gauge her attitude before approaching, she looked the other way. Julian banged his locker shut in frustration.
“Elly?” He said, standing next to her. “Elly?” He repeated when she didn’t respond. “Damn it, Bennett, talk to me.” He grabbed her arm and turned her around roughly. He was angry because he was scared. Scared of losing her. And he hated it when she was like this. It usually meant he’d screwed up somehow.
“I have nothing to say to you!” She said, angrily trying to free her arm.
“What’s going on, Elly? I thought we were good and then you up and left last night without saying anything and that too with Ethan! Why won’t you take my calls?” He asked.
“Why should I? So you can lie to me some more, Julian. You can stop, I know the truth.” She said, but his hold on her tightened.
“What are you talking about? What truth?” He had his doubts.
“I know you met Naomi’s family as her boyfriend.” She said, eyes flashing.
“Who told you?” Julian asked.
“Why should you care? It wasn’t you.” Eliana said.
“Ethan.” He cursed. “I’m going to kill him.”
“It wasn’t his fault. The poor guy probably wouldn’t have said anything if he knew I was there. He thought he was talking to Naomi, warning her away from you.” She said. “But at least now I know. I was crazy that I told him off when I heard this. Defended your character when he spoke badly about you. So I went to search for you and what do I see? Naomi thanking her ‘boyfriend whom her parents already love and adore.”
“It’s not what you think, Eliana. It’s all a big misunderstanding.”
“Isn’t it always?” She glared at him.
“Let me explain. Naomi was in . . .” Julian stopped when Carter came by.
“Hey,” Carter said, oblivious to the tension between the other two. “Good that you’re here too.” He said looking at Julian. “I needed some advice.”
“Bro, can you give us a minute.” He said letting go of Eliana.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll find you after school.” Carter left typing away at him phone. “I have to go.” Eliana said closing her locker.
“No, you don’t. We weren’t done talking.” Julian said blocking her path.
“Move, Julian.” She gav
e him a dark look and when he doesn’t move she went around him and left. Julian ran his hand through his hair taking a deep breath before he punched his locker hard enough for the scarred skin on his knuckles to break and bleed. At break the next afternoon, Eliana noticed Julian’s hand bandaged, so did the others. “Hey, what happened to your hand?” Mia was the first one to ask him.
“Nothing,” Julian said shortly.
“Doesn’t look like nothing. Let me see.” Carter came forward but Julian pulled his hand out of reach.
“Drop it, Carter. I said it’s nothing.” Julian snapped.
Eliana avoided the cafeteria during her break for the next several days and didn’t give Julian another opportunity to talk to her. She disconnected his call every time he tried. So he texted her one evening instead saying he’s outside her home. Eliana resisted for a good seven minutes before she went to her bedroom window and saw him standing there, waiting. For her. She wanted to run to him. Wanted things to be alright with him. But he had broken her trust again, and she had no choice but to shut him out. Literally, as she pulled down her window and locked it, drawing the curtains.
Julian tried to be the good guy and give Eliana the space she seemed to need even though it killed him to keep his distance from her, but when she didn’t talk to him for four consecutive days unless it was about assignments, he decided to talk to her himself. Screw giving space. He didn’t need any space where she was concerned. So when he spotted her in the corridor after she arrived the next morning, he took her arm and pulled her to the backyard exit. “Julian! Let me go.” She said at being grabbed unexpectedly. “Stop manhandling me!”
“You haven’t even given me a chance to explain myself, Elly.” He said once outside.
“So what? Is this the way you’d explain?” She snapped.
“Elly, Naomi was in trouble. Her parents would have made her drop out if she didn’t prove to them that she was had someone from the south side as her boyfriend. She was freaking out. She needed help.”
“So what? You jumped at the chance to be her knight in shining armor?” She sneered.
“I arranged for my friend to help her out, but he never showed up. Naomi panicked and told her parents that I was her boyfriend instead. I helped her out as a friend, Elly. Nothing more, nothing less.” Julian explained patiently.
“Whatever the circumstance, Julian, what you did, it doesn’t make me any less mad.” She said.
“I get mad too, Elly. Whenever you avoid me instead of clearing things out, it makes me mad. But I understand and I never doubt you. I never shut you out. Because I trust you.” He said.
“I trusted you too! How could you dare to pretend to be someone else’s boyfriend when you claim that you’re in love with me?” She cried out. “How do you expect me to feel about that? If you would have told me that this is what you were doing when you said you were helping a friend, I would never have allowed it! If I would have done the same with Ethan or any other guy for that matter you would have punched the life out of him.” She said furiously.
“It meant absolutely nothing. Please try and understand.” He pleaded with her. “I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“But you did hurt me, Julian. Because I mean nothing to you. Or it wouldn’t have been so easy for you to do what you did and then lie about it. Even by omission. Lies are complicated, Julian. Truth never is.” She took his hand and folded it over the anklet he had given her. “But you chose to lie.”
Julian got so mad at her words that he punched the wall next to her, making his already hurt knuckles bleed at once with the white gauze turning red and the anklet shattered into pieces, the bell falling to the ground. “You mean nothing to me?” He repeated her words. “YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME?” Julian yelled as he pushed her against the wall in his sudden burst of anger. “Every day I wake up and the first person I think about is you. What should I do today that would make you happy? What should I change about myself that makes you unhappy? Every time I call you, I think what if she doesn’t like me calling her at this time? Every time I speak, I think twice so you wouldn’t feel bad, and you mean nothing to me. You will never know what you mean to me, Eliana.” He took a few steps away from her and blew out a deep breath. Now he needed space. “What do you want from me? Just tell me because I’m tired of tiptoeing around you.”
“Are you saying you’re tired of me?” Eliana heard every word he had said, but the meaning didn’t settle over her until it was too late. Because right now, all she wanted to do was retaliate.
“I’m saying I’m tired of myself,” Julian said quietly. “I’m tired of making myself worthy of you. I can’t concentrate on anything because all I think about is you.”
“If I cause you so much pain, why are you even with me?” She glared at him. “Why don’t we just break up and get this over with?”
“Maybe we should.” He said, voice barely above a whisper.
“That should be easy for you.” She said, wanting to avoid this train wreck of an argument but unable to do so at the same time.
“Easy?” Julian looked at her, eyes tormented and smiled without humor. “You’d think it was easy. We should stay away from each other for a few days. That would be best.” It ruptured his heart to say this, but it had to be done. For the sake of his sanity.
“You don’t scare me, Julian. If you think I’m going to cry and ask you to not leave me, think again. If you want to break up, just say so.” Eliana said. “I’m not going to beg you to stay.”
“I know.” He said straightaway. “The sad thing is, I don’t expect you to do it either.” Julian couldn’t stop the lone tear that fell down his face. “Goodbye, Bennett.” Julian left knowing what he had to do next. They were done and he felt as if the world had just ended.
Eliana felt the fight go out of her and sat on the stairs as soon as Julian went back inside. She hated how quickly she lost her temper with him. It was as if she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And looked like it just had. She knew deep in her heart that he was trying to be good. To be better and she appreciated the fact but every time she thought things were okay, something happened which made them end up fighting. First, it was the bet he had made with Jax and now this. She fought the urge to cry as Julian’s tormented gaze passed through her mind.
She took a deep breath as the warning bell rang and wiped her unshed tears, gathering herself to face the day. They both needed to calm down before they tried to talk to each other again, she thought and made her way to class. She didn’t see Julian in Lit or during break. She didn’t see him for the rest of her day either or after school. His bike was gone when she reached the parking lot. When she checked her phone, she had neither any missed calls nor any messages from him. Their fight that morning had topped all their arguments since they had met and Julian had never looked as anguished as he had that morning. He was missing from school the next morning too and when Naomi and Jax came in ten minutes late, they all had to hear an earful from Ms. Diaz.
“I will not tolerate this childlike attitude in my students.” She said. “First you two come late and then we have Mr. Rivera who is taking his education as a joke. If he thinks skipping classes will not affect his grades with me, he better think again. I trust you to pass along this information when you see him.” She said looking at Eliana, considering she was his partner in this class. After another day passed by, Eliana went to the administration department with Naomi and Carter and asked if there had been any update on Julian for his absence from classes.
Mrs. Reed looked at them sharply. “He did come see me a couple of days ago. Said he was dropping out. He wanted to leave.” The students jerked their faces towards Mrs. Reed in unison at the unwelcome news. Eliana’s heart stopped beating for a second. Julian left?
“Dropping out?” Carter asked in disbelief. “Why would he do that?”
“I’m sure I just said the same thing, Mr. Hayes.” Mrs. Reed said.
“But why would he leave?” Naomi
asked next.
“I’m afraid I do not have an answer to that, Ms. Clark.” Mrs. Reed seemed saddened by this as well. “But life must go on.” She said dismissing them. The students were too stunned to talk about this and walked in a daze to the parking lot where the others were waiting for them. All Eliana could think about was her argument with Julian and the pain she had put him through.