“Maria!” I say. Penny rushes in. “We got your text. Are you still at the hospital?” There are shouts and heavy things being dragged around in the background.
“Yes. Cassie, do you have a speaker on this phone?”
I find the button and tell her to go ahead.
“Thanks. Penny? Ana?” Maria’s softly accented voice echoes around the room.
Penny bends over the speaker. “Mama! When are you coming?”
Maria takes an audible breath. “Penny, you have to leave the city right now. There’s a man here from FEMA. I’m on his emergency phone. He’s told us they plan to destroy all access out of New York sometime tonight or tomorrow. They can’t control the spread of Bornavirus, so they’re going straight to quarantine.”
“What do you mean, destroy?” James asks.
Maria’s laugh is short. “They’re calling it quarantine, but they’re leaving the infection to run its course. Bart, the FEMA guy, says they’re planning to bomb or block off the bridges and tunnels. They don’t want millions of infected spilling out of New York. He was supposed to leave the city tonight.”
I never would have thought they’d trap us here like that. At least not while there were so many people still healthy. They’re guaranteeing our deaths.
“So they’ll leave us here to die?” Penny asks incredulously.
Maria sighs, and when she speaks again her voice wavers. “Yes, they will, mija. They are. There’s more. There’s no treatment. They’re killing the sick. We were euthanizing them with a mix of drugs to the brain stem. But it was too little, too late. The hospital’s been overwhelmed and patients are pouring out the doors. We’re all hiding in the basement here.”
“We saw them. I was so worried about you. They’re eating people, Mama,” Penny says. A sob escapes, and she covers her mouth. “They’re all just lying dead in the street.”
“Oh, mija. They may not be dead, as long as there’s enough of them left. All of the infected are dead, or as near to dead as they can be, but still move around.”
James meets my eyes. There’s no surprise in them but a kind of awe. Like how people must have felt when man first walked on the moon or made a test tube baby. Except test tube babies didn’t want to eat them.
“The virus is working in tandem with a parasite. The brain is its host. Somehow it stimulates all those processes that are primal: moving, fight impulses, hunger. I don’t know every detail. The CDC’s been studying it for the past month.”
A month and they still couldn’t stop it. We hear another loud noise on her end and jump. They must be piling up whatever they can find to keep them out.
“I’m here, I’m here. I have to go. Other people need the phone. We’ve got the morgue and cafeteria. We’ve got a generator. We’re safe here. But you all need to leave the city now and go upstate.” Maria knows all about the stash in my basement and up at the house.
“You mean we,” Penny corrects her.
“Penny, there’s no way for me to leave until the infected have wandered away or died or found something to—we’re okay here. I need to know that you’re safe.”
“So we’re supposed to leave you here? No!” Penny says with a screech. Her mouth is frozen in an O.
“You can’t wait. Bart wanted those of us with family here to get them out. In forty-eight hours New York will be infected beyond belief.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better, Mama!”
“I know, but you need to know how dangerous it is. One little bite, sometimes even a scratch, can infect you. I know how to take care of myself. As soon as it’s safe I’ll head to Cassie’s apartment. If there’s a way out of New York, I’ll head upstate. Cassie?”
Penny looks at me like she’s wandered into a bad dream and I might be able to wake her up. But it’s not just her nightmare.
“I’m here, Maria,” I answer. “I’ll put the key under the mat. We’ll leave a map to the house.”
I think of Maria here alone, with a few million ravenous dead people outside. Maria was always like a mother to me, even before my parents died. After they died, when Eric and I were frozen in grief, she handled the funeral arrangements. She made our first Christmas alone bearable. She’s been here any time I’ve needed her. I can’t leave her here when she needs us. “We’re going to get a van from work. We’ll come by and get you—”
“No! No,” she says again, gently. “It’s too dangerous. I’m sorry, but I have to get off the phone. I love you, mijas. Please, promise me you’ll do what I ask.”
“Okay, we promise. Please take care of yourself, Mama. I love you,” Penny cries.
“I promise I will. I love you, Penny. I love you, Ana. More than anything in the world.”
Penny’s cheeks are wet with tears as she whispers back.
Ana clutches the table, her knuckles white. “I love you, Mama. It’s Ana. I love you, too.”
“I love you, baby. Take care of each other, all three of my girls, okay? I know you will.” Her voice breaks under the strain and then she’s gone.
15
We stand around the phone base in silence. They really are dead people. They’ve lost all semblance of order. They’re going to blow up the bridges. Maria isn’t coming with us.
We’re all thinking it, but James is the one to finally say, “Holy fucking shit.”
Peter sinks into a chair and stares into space. Penny and Ana hover over the phone like it might start talking again.
I blink back tears and touch Penny’s shaking shoulder. I don’t know what to say. It might have been the last time she’ll ever speak to her mom. Maria didn’t mention how long it will be until the infection’s run its course. There’s enough food here to feed one person for a long siege, but she has to make it here. I have a feeling that’ll be easier said than done.
Penny motions to herself and Ana. “We’re not going.” Her eyes are wild and red, daring any of us to object.
Nelly shakes his head slowly. “What?”
“It’s our mother. How can we leave her here? I know I promised, but when she gets here we’ll leave with her.”
I tread carefully. I know I wouldn’t want to leave my mother here either. But I also know Maria would die if her girls stayed in harm’s way because of her.
“Pen, I promise you we’ll come back for her as soon as we can,” I say.
She and Ana exchange a glance. Penny gives me an apologetic look and shakes her head.
James clears his throat. “Well, then, I’ll stay with you guys. Strength in numbers. We’ll find a way out when your mom gets here.” He shrugs, but his face belies his words.
We should leave. There’s nothing I want more than to be in a van heading north. But I can’t leave the few people left in the world that I care about. It might not be the smart decision, but it feels like the right one.
“I’m staying too, then, if you really won’t go,” I say, as Nelly nods. “We’ll spend tonight and tomorrow getting any extra supplies we can. We should still get the van, so it’s close by when we need it. Bring over all the food from your house. We’re not leaving without you.”
Peter shakes his head and turns away.
Penny looks from James to Nelly to me. “I can’t have you all risk being trapped here. You must be crazy. No matter how much I want you to stay, I have to make sure you’re safe—” The last remnants of rebellion leave her face. “I sound just like my mom, don’t I?”
“Yeah,” I agree. “Now times that by a thousand and you know how badly she wants you to leave. The rest of us have to stay because when she gets here and sees you she’ll kill you herself.”
She gives me the ghost of a smile and runs a hand along the earpiece of her glasses. “We have to go, Banana.” She uses her pet name for Ana. “I don’t want to leave, but Mama will kill us if we stay. We promised. When she gets here she’ll be good until we can come back for her.”
“This is ridiculous,” Ana argues. “I think we should wait a few days and see how it goes.”
Penny tries to speak but Ana cuts her off with a glare. “I know what Mama said, Penny. But that FEMO or whatever guy could be wrong, you know. What are the chances that they’re actually going to blow up bridges in New York City? That sounds like something Cassie would say.”
It’s heartening to see how she rolls her eyes at my name. Makes me know the real Ana is in there somewhere, dying to get out and disparage someone.
Penny’s tears dry up. “Ana, stop! We’re going, like we promised. Tonight. Let’s get our bags ready.”
Her no-nonsense manner shuts Ana up. She sounded just like her mama.
16
Nelly and James elect themselves to get the van. I volunteer, but what seems suspiciously like misguided chivalry makes them refuse. I decide not to make a fuss even though, after Nelly, I’m the best shot with a gun. They each have a baseball bat from my dad’s coaching stuff and a pistol.
“Remember,” I remind them, “don’t use those guns unless you have to. It seems like they like noise, the…” I trail off. I can’t say the word.
“Zombies?” James says. He has that look of nervous anticipation guys get when they’re doing something dangerous and probably stupid, but instead of being scared they’re excited.
“Listen.” I wag a finger at them and pretend it’s not shaking. “Don’t be heroes. Get the van. Pick the one with the most gas. Come back. The end.”
Nelly salutes me. “Yes, ma’am!”
I hug them and lock the gate. It’s hard to ignore the lump in my throat. They’ll come back. I busy myself bringing the backpacks upstairs. Between the bags and larger equipment that we’ll put in the van and leave behind if necessary, it looks like we’re mounting an expedition to Everest. I hope that the van will take us as least as far as the city limits.
I put my hand to my jeans pocket and run my finger along the circle Adrian’s ring makes. It’s become my talisman; as long as I hold onto it, this will end well. Peter comes into the basement.
“Want to help me bring up the rest of the stuff?” I ask.
He ignores my question. “What were you thinking? Are you out of your mind?”
“What?”
His arms are crossed and he has on his superior, disdainful look. I’ve seen it before, but it’s never been directed at me.
His face twists. “Saying you wouldn’t go without Penny? I can’t believe you would jeopardize our safety like that, for a person who most likely will end up dead!”
I take a couple of deep, trembling breaths. They don’t help at all. Two hours ago he thought we were blowing this out of proportion, and now he’s accusing me of jeopardizing our safety. All he cares about is himself, and maybe me, because I’m his ticket out of here. I’m somewhere to go. I don’t know why it comes as shock to me, really. I suppose I think that people can be selfish, but when push comes to shove they’ll do the right thing, the human thing. But not Peter. Rage boils up, but I tamp it back down, and what comes out is cold and deadly.
“You know, Peter, sometimes you do something that might jeopardize your own safety because you love someone. You love them so much you’re willing to stick by them, even if it means doing things the hard way. Even if it means putting yourself at risk. Not that I expect you to understand that. And as for jeopardizing us, don’t worry about that. As of now there is no longer any us.”
His mouth hangs open. I’m cruelly happy to see the sneer replaced by shock.
“I don’t want you to stay here where it’s not safe, and you’re welcome to come with us. Or go your own way, since you think we’re all crazy. But don’t you dare let Penny or Ana hear you. You, of all people, should understand that they want to make sure their mother’s safe.”
It’s a bit of a low blow, and he looks properly chastened. “Fine, fine, sorry,” he says, and reaches out for me.
His face rearranges back to its normal state. He’s trying to charm me. He thinks Silly Cassie isn’t serious. I cross my arms. I have never wanted to kick someone so badly in my life.
He exhales noisily. “Cassandra, stop being ridiculous. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it how it sounded.”
But I know he did. My whole body shakes, but I also feel a palpable sense of relief.
“No, we’re done. It’s been a long time coming. Now’s not really the time to discuss it. I’m sorry I did it this way.”
I push past him and run up the stairs.
17
Standing in my bedroom, hands in fists, I hear the sounds of Penny and Ana moving our stuff to the front door. I change into my broken-in leather boots and throw my slippers into the closet with more force than necessary. Being scared and sweaty has done nothing to tame the frizz in my hair, so I make two long, brown braids. I don’t want to see Peter, but I can’t lock myself in here. I head into the living room and stand in front of the TV, ignoring Peter’s glares from the couch.
The virus is under control, the news anchor says. Now that I know they’re lying, I understand why everyone is still at home, waiting for it to blow over. Unless you’re looking for it, there’s nothing but good news.
They’re implementing curfews, ostensibly to stop the looting. That means roads should be clear, and if we aren’t stopped we might make it out. They flash the locations of more treatment centers. I imagine mass graves. My feet tap the floor. We don’t know what time they’re taking out the bridges, and tomorrow officially starts at midnight. A car door slams out front. It’s Nelly and James with the blue van.
I run to the door. “Well? How was it?”
“Not too bad,” Nelly replies. “We turned a corner, right into one of them. He scared the shit out of us, just before James and I both knocked him with our bats.” He mimes swinging a bat and blanches.
“Ugh,” I say, as I remember the crack of the metal on Aviator Glasses’ head.
“Yeah,” James says. He no longer looks thrilled to be having a testosterone-fueled experience. “It was pretty gross. As we were driving back we think we saw a huge group of them. Going through Queens may be impossible. We need to leave now, while the streets here are clear.”
The only other plan is the Verrazano into Staten Island and then crossing into Jersey. They didn’t see many cars. People are still in their houses, doing what they’ve been told. That must be why they’re bombing the bridges tonight. The panic will start tomorrow for sure, and by then it will be too late.
18
I look around my apartment one last time. I think I can feel my dad and mom here. I hope I’m doing what I’m supposed to, what they would have done.
“Until the end of the world,” I whisper down the empty hall.
“And after,” Penny whispers from behind me.
I turn and smile. When I was a little girl I would argue with my parents about who loved who more. As big as the universe, we’d say. Forever and a day. Infinity plus one. Until the end of the world and after. Right now it seems fitting.
My block is still quiet, so we load the van quickly. Nelly’s behind the wheel as we head for Queens. Shadowy figures fill the blocks far ahead. Nelly drives to the next avenue, but it’s the same: a terrifying parade, headed our way.
“Yeah,” I say, “Jersey it is.”
There are a few infected people on every block. Some almost look normal, but their stiff bodies and staring eyes give them away. Others look dead and decomposing. I wonder how I didn’t realize Half-Neck was dead; in retrospect it seems so obvious. You can’t be alive when your carotid artery has a bite taken out of it.
I’m relieved when we’re off the streets and on the expressway. The infected haven’t made it here yet, and the bridge is only minutes away. I’m beginning to relax when the interior of the van flashes with police lights. A layer of sweat forms under my clothes, and my legs tremble. We’ve barely made it anywhere.
“Shit,” Nelly says, and pulls to a stop on the shoulder.
Four police cars race up. I hope they’ll let us go home instead of arresting us, but they whiz past without a glance. I
drop my head back with relief and hear the exhales of my friends as we pull onto the road and cross the bridge.
The Verrazano has always been my favorite of all the bridges. It’s tall and graceful and painted a light silvery blue, the exact color of the river and sky at dusk. It looks as if it’s grown there organically, water turned to metal. I imagine it tomorrow, a twisted hulk, with cables and chunks of concrete hanging down to the water beneath.
This seems too easy by far. I spin in my seat, but the road is empty except for a few cars far behind us. I face forward as we pull into the tolls. A police officer stands in the one open booth. He looks like the kind of guy who becomes a cop so he can legally fuck with people.
“Whatchoo all doing out here?” he asks. He has a name tag that says Spinelli, and he looks at us with absolutely no expression.
“Hi, officer,” Nelly says. “Hoping to get to Jersey, we’ve got some family there.”
He stares at Nelly without blinking. “What, you didn’t hear about the curfew?”
“Well, yeah, we did. But you know New York City traffic. I figured this was the only time in my life I was going to get to speed on the Turnpike.”
Officer Spinelli’s veneer cracks a little bit. He’s doesn’t smile, but some sort of tough guy thing passes between them and he relents.
“All right. Listen, I’m not taking you guys in. We’re supposed to, but after this shift I’m going home, and I’m not staying in the station filling out paperwork if I don’t got to. I’m the only one here now, anyway, so I don’t know what they expect me to do. Anyone asks, you got on the highway in Staten Island.”
James leans toward the window from the passenger seat. “Thanks, officer. Are you planning on staying home or going somewhere?”
“Staying home. Like you should be doing. Why?” he demands.
“We have it on good authority that they’re closing off New York tomorrow. Blowing up almost every access point and leaving the infection to die out on its own.”
Until the End of the World Box Set Page 7