Build a Nerd

by Wendy Smith

  I study her closely. Miranda’s so serious about her work, and I can see how hard this is hitting her. The dark circles under her eyes tell me she’s not sleeping well.

  “Because we want to keep a tight lid on it, everyone has to think it’s work as normal. I’m doing my job. Molly’s in Nettle Downs doing her job, and you …” Miranda trails off.

  “I’m just managing some project that involves work going on in the data center.” I ponder for a moment. “Most of the servers they’ll need are in the one server rack. I’m sure we’re needing maintenance on the air conditioning that’ll require access to be restricted to the two of us for a few days.”

  Miranda smiles. “Sounds good to me. I can leave that with you?”

  I nod. “I’ll disable access for anyone else in the security system. It’s not like that many people can get in there, anyway.”

  She lets out a long breath. “I’m so glad you’re here, Tom. It’s hard enough to focus on work with this going on as it is.”

  “I’m sure. I’ll be here to oversee our side of it, and make sure they’ve got everything they need.”

  She seems to hesitate for a moment. “Can you do me one last favor?”

  “Anything.”

  “Don’t tell Mark about the FBI’s involvement. I don’t want that going any further.”

  I nod. “No problem.”

  But even having a plan and the help of the FBI won’t stop this churning in my stomach.

  I never thought we’d be trying to uncover someone’s betrayal.

  19

  Bridget

  I’ve always been one to keep my emotions in check.

  I learned to play the long game when it came to Brad, not that it ever came to anything.

  But with Tom gone, there’s a hole I can’t fill. Sleepovers with Jackson, however innocent, aren’t appropriate. I can pour my heart out at the bar, but I’m not keen on drinking.

  Instead, I hole up at home.

  How quickly my world has been turned upside down by this man.

  And he’s home today.

  It’s Friday evening, and I’m waiting at the airport with a knot in my stomach. I haven’t forgotten his promise, and more than anything, I want to be with him.

  Tom’s all I need.

  The knot in my stomach grows heavier as I watch the plane coming in to land. I’ve spent this week reading up everything I could on Star Trek in an attempt to bridge the gap that seems to still exist between us.

  I want this. I want him.

  When the plane comes to a halt, it feels like an eternity before the door opens and a few minutes later, he steps out. I catch my breath and can’t help the grin on my face.

  I’ve been a whole week without him, and a week is way too much.

  He sets off on a brisk walk toward me, and his grin is as big as my own.

  When he reaches me, I close my eyes as I wrap my arms around his waist. He drops his bag to the ground and embraces me tight.

  “It’s so good to be home.” Tom kisses the top of my head.

  “I’m glad you think of it that way.” I raise my face to meet him. His eyes seem to drink in the sight of me.

  “Wherever you are is home,” he says. Lowering his head, he gives me such a tender kiss that I could cry.

  “Let’s get going. Your place or mine?” I ask.

  “I’m not fussed. Somewhere that has a hot shower and you.”

  I laugh. “I don’t care where we are as long as I’m with you tonight.”

  “Well, I should go back to the motel. I’ve got a bag full of washing, and the rest of my clothes are there.”

  Waggling my eyebrows at him, I grin. “Dirty night in a motel?”

  Tom laughs and kisses me again. “Works for me.”

  His phone rings, and I let him go so he can answer it.

  “Molly.” He reaches for my hand and links my fingers in his. “Yes. I got back safe, and I’m with Bridget. I’m going to the motel tonight, but I’d like to catch up tomorrow if you have some time.”

  I smile at him as he nods.

  “Sounds good. I’ll give you a call in the morning.”

  When he disconnects the call, he squeezes my hand. “Sorry. Just this work thing is going on, and I need to touch base with Molly. But she can wait for tonight because I have you all to myself and I made a promise before I left.”

  “You did.”

  “I haven’t forgotten. It’s all I’ve thought about all week.”

  “Me too. Let’s get out of here.”

  Butterflies dominate my stomach as we draw closer to the motel.

  This is it. Tom and I will be together in every sense of the word.

  He’s all mine.

  “Shower first?” I glance at him. His expression’s still relaxed, and I like that. The last thing I want is for him to stress out about being intimate.

  “That sounds amazing.”

  “With me?” As I pull into the car park and stop the car, he smiles at me with so much affection that my heart leaps.

  “I’d love that.”

  “Really? Because I thought it might be pushing it, and …”

  “I won’t run.”

  I smile. “You know I’d only run after you.”

  With that, he laughs. “I hope you would.”

  I walk into the bathroom first, open the shower door, and flick the water on. It springs to life, and I hold my hand under the spray until it gets to the right temperature.

  “It’s ready,” I call.

  Tom wraps his arms around my waist from behind and buries his nose in my neck. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”

  “Me too. I know you have to catch up with Molly tomorrow, but we’ll at least have the rest of the weekend together.”

  “Whatever will we do?”

  I laugh, wiggling out of his grasp and turning around.

  I pull my shirt over my head, unclasp my bra, and search his eyes as my clothing drops to the floor.

  His gaze falls to my breasts. He looks at me with a hunger I’ve not seen from him before. He wants me like I want him.

  “Bridget,” he whispers. “You’re so beautiful.”

  My heart leaps at his words, and I beckon him forward.

  After tugging at the bottom of his shirt, I raise it over his head. I run my hands up his chest. He doesn’t have a six-pack, and he’s not the most muscular man in the world. But he’s Tom. My tall, handsome nerdy boyfriend.

  The man I love.

  “You are pretty gorgeous yourself,” I say.

  His lips twitch. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “It can wait until later.” I brace the back of his neck with one hand and pull him forward for a kiss. He’s so gentle as always, his tongue tangling with mine, and I close my eyes, losing myself in him.

  “I needed that,” I whisper when we pull apart.

  “So did I.”

  I reach for the button on my jeans and drop them to the ground, then tug them over my ankles. My panties follow, and soon enough there’s a pile of clothing on the bathroom floor. I turn, walking into the shower.

  “If I’d known the water pressure here was that much better than at mine, I would have been having showers here instead of home.” I lean back, running my fingers through my hair, the warm water covering my face. “Get in here with me.”

  Tom takes off his jeans and underpants and step into the shower, but still keeps as much distance as he can from me.

  I run my gaze down his body before reaching for his hands. I want to feel his body pressed against mine. “Come here.”

  I don’t miss that he trembles a little, but he’s not under the warm water yet and that’s not helping.

  Reaching up, I tilt the showerhead so it covers both of us.

  “I missed you.” He slides his arms around my waist.

  “I missed you too. Will you have to go away again?” I hook my arms over his shoulders.

  He shrugs. “Possibly. It depends on h
ow the thing I’m working on goes.”

  “I hope it’s not for a while at least.”

  His smile lights up my heart. “I’m not sure, but at least I know how much you’ll miss me.”

  My lips twitch. “I can feel how much you missed me.”

  His eyebrows shoot up, and I laugh. “It’s okay, Tom. That won’t be wasted today.”

  He grins, kissing me again and again until I shriek as the water turns cold.

  We both laugh as we leap out of the shower and grab towels from the rail to warm ourselves.

  Damn motel hot-water supply.

  Tom holds my hand as he leads me into the bedroom, and I laugh when he drops onto the bed, pulling me with him.

  We’re a tangle of limbs and lips, sinking into the soft mattress together.

  Finally, his tongue is on my nipple. That wondrous tongue flicks across the pebbled tip and picks up a rhythm that leaves me writhing. I stroke the back of his head, reveling in the sensation and closing my eyes. The only thing that could be any better is if he could do that to both my breasts at once.

  I want him everywhere.

  And I want that tongue between my legs.

  It’s all I can think about as he sucks my nipple into his mouth, teasing every little bit of pleasure out of it.

  With his other hand, he cups the other breast. He caresses it, pinching my nipple gently. For someone so lacking in confidence sexually, he plays my body like he was born for it.

  “Tom.” I let out a contented sigh. He stops what he’s doing and raises his head. “Don’t stop.”

  I hold my breath when he climbs between my legs to tease the other nipple with his tongue. I could live to be a hundred and not get tired of his attentions.

  Leaving me gasping, Tom plants kisses down my belly. My body tenses in anticipation as he brushes his lips against my inner thighs.

  We both jump when there’s a sharp knock on the door.

  “Damn it.”

  Tom raises his head. “I should answer that. Not many people know I’m here. It might be urgent. I turned my phone off.”

  “It might be Molly.”

  His lips twitch. “Jealous?”

  “No. I know you’re all mine.”

  He gives me a kiss, pushing himself up off the bed. “I’ll check it out and be back in a minute.”

  “You’d better.”

  He tugs on a pair of jeans and shirt before leaving the bedroom, pulling the door closed behind him. I huff out a breath. It’d better not be Molly or that’ll undo every bit of goodwill I have toward her. I’ve coaxed Tom along to the point where he’s ready, and I don’t want anything to slow our progress.

  There’s a rumble of voices outside, and as the moments tick by, I grow impatient.

  Climbing out of bed, I look in the wardrobe and pluck out a white business shirt. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Tom wear one, and it’s long on me, covering my thighs. But it’s his, and it makes me feel close to him.

  Running my fingers through my hair, I open the bedroom door.

  Brad and Tom both turn to look at me.

  Brad’s here.

  I swallow hard. Jutting out my hip, I run my fingers through my hair.

  “Bridget,” Brad says, his gaze falling down the shirt. “I’m sorry to interrupt you two. Molly made mac and cheese, and she thought Tom might like some for dinner after his trip. There’s enough for both of you.”

  I lean against the doorframe.

  It’s not until then that I see Tom’s face. He’s standing there with a plastic container I assume is full of mac and cheese, looking back and forth between Brad and me.

  The pain in his expression tears at my heart.

  “I’ll leave you to it. Sorry again for the interruption. Have a good night.” Brad says.

  Tom turns, closing the door behind him.

  “Tom,” I say softly. “Come back to bed.”

  “No.”

  20

  Tom

  “Are you still in love with Brad?”

  She’s so beautiful standing in that doorway. Dressed in my shirt, her red hair mussed from lying in my bed.

  She blinks rapidly, and my heart sinks.

  I knew she’d had feelings for Brad in the past, but I thought she’d moved on. I drop my gaze. “Shit. You are.”

  “No.” Her voice is shaky. Do I believe the word or the way she says it? She confuses me. “I was. I was for a long time, and then Molly swooped in and he was out of my reach.”

  I blow out a breath. “I knew that was why you were so hard on Molly. And you had the nerve to ask me if I was in love with her.”

  Bridget takes a step forward. “I resented her. She left him behind, and she hurt him so much, and then all of a sudden she was back and they were together.”

  “It was never me,” I whisper. I sit on the couch to brace myself. “And we were about to …”

  Tears prick my eyes. I’m so in love with Bridget, and I’ve never felt anything as strongly as the way I feel for her. I don’t care if her car is a mess. I don’t care if her house is packed to the gills.

  She’s it for me.

  But I’m not it for her.

  “I think you need to leave.” I’m numb.

  She sits on the couch beside me. “Can’t we just forget what just happened and go back to bed?”

  “Do you really think that’s a good idea?” I turn my head to look at her. There’s so much concern in her eyes, but it’s confusing. I don’t know if she wants me for me, or if she’s just trying to forget Brad.

  “I think we were enjoying ourselves before the interruption.”

  I swallow, dropping my gaze. “We need to call it a night. I just can’t.”

  “What does this mean for us?” Tears well in her eyes. “I’m crazy about you.”

  “I’m in love with you. But I can’t do this right now. Not when you looked at him that way.”

  Her breathing speeds up, and she sniffs. “You’re in love with me?”

  “I have been from the start I think. Now I don’t know how to feel.”

  She cups my face, pulling my gaze to hers. “You don’t need to change the way you feel. I want you. Only you.”

  I bite back tears of my own. “That’s just it, Bridget. I’m not sure if I can believe that.”

  She blinks a ton. “You have to believe me.”

  “I saw the way you reacted to him. There’s no hiding that.” I pull away from her. “I think you’d better leave.”

  “No.”

  “I need some time to think.”

  Tears roll down her cheeks, and for a moment, we just take in the sight of each other.

  “Please don’t do this, Tom.”

  My head is screaming. It’s like everything in it wants attention right this second. All my thoughts compete with one another and I shut down. She’s never seen me like this, and I can’t control it. It’s me.

  “Just go. Please.”

  She gulps and stands. “I want you.”

  “Just go.”

  When she’s gone, I sit in silence for the longest time.

  She can deny it all she wants, but I saw with my own eyes how she reacted to seeing Brad. I’m not even sure she realized it. From the jut of her hip in the doorway to the flick of her hair.

  Was I a rebound?

  I pick up the phone and dial Mark. He’ll probably be a bit of a dick about it, but he’ll listen at least.

  “Hey.”

  “Hi. Have you got a minute?”

  He hesitates. “What’s up? You sound awful. I thought you’d be balls deep in Bridget right about now,” he says and I sigh.

  I close my eyes. “Do you have to?”

  “Sorry. I was just being a smart-ass. Are you okay?”

  “No. I just sent Bridget away. She wants Brad.”

  “As in, Molly’s Brad?”

  I pause. Molly’s Brad. He’ll always be Molly’s Brad and never Bridget’s. But I can’t be with her if she wants someone else. She�
�ll only break my heart.

  “Yes.”

  “Woah. How did you find out?”

  “We were back at the motel when Brad interrupted us.”

  There’s silence for a moment. “Dude. Did you tell her?”

  Mark’s the only person I’ve ever confided in. We’re about as geeky as each other, but he’s always been better with people than I have.

  “No. I was about to when Brad turned up.”

  “I don’t get it. Why would she sleep with you if she’s in love with him?”

  I run my fingers through my hair. None of it makes sense, and I’m the last person to be able to work out this shit. “I don’t know. Maybe to make him jealous? Not that it’d work. He and Molly are really tight. He’s not going to screw up a second chance with the love of his life for someone else.”

  “I’m so sorry, Tom. You seemed really happy.”

  “I was. She’s so unlike me, but we just seemed to fit.” I sigh. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “What did she say?”

  The tears in her eyes. The agony in her expression. “She denied it. Said she wanted only me. But I saw her face, Mark. I saw the way she played up to it as if she wanted to make him jealous. It hurt so much.”

  “This is when I hate that you’re so far away and we can’t just go for a drink to talk.”

  For the first time since I came out here, I miss San Jose. I ache for the familiarity of it, for my friends.

  Yet when I was there, all I wanted was to come back here.

  “I might go into town for a drink. The bar will be open.”

  “Have one for me. And call me if you need to talk again.”

  “I will.”

  Jackson beams his broad smile at me when I walk in.

  “Tom. I heard you were coming back today.”

  I nod. “Yeah.”

  “Where’s Bridget? I thought you two were joined at the hip.” His smile disappears as I let out a sigh. “Tom? Is everything okay?”