by Cathryn Fox
“You’re a smart girl. You make good choices. You’ll know what to do when the time comes.”
Unease worms its way through my veins. “Uh…” I’m about to ask him what he means, when someone raps on the door.
“That’s my ride. Wish me luck.”
“Good luck,” I say, and give him a kiss on the cheek.
He walks to the front door and I stand there staring after him. What the heck was he talking about, and why is he being so cryptic?
Footsteps pound from upstairs, and I hurry to the kitchen, load the dishwasher and head upstairs to meet Lucas in his room.
“Hey Lucas,” I say. “Did you pick out a book?”
He holds it up and pats the mattress. The gesture makes me smile. He’s so much like his father. I settle in next to him, and for the next half hour we read. The whole time he twists a long strand of my hair between his fingers, like he always does when we’re seated close. He lets loose a big yawn and I close the book.
“Time for sleep.” When I was young and used to babysit, I’d always say, don’t let the bed bugs bite, but not in Lucas’ case. It would most certainly freak him out.
“Night, Lucas.”
I walk to the door, and I’m about to close it.
“Olivia?”
“Yeah.”
“What does retarded mean?”
Worry washes through me and I step back up to his bed. “Why do you ask?”
He tugs on the front of his pajamas. “Madelyn called me retarded. What does it mean?”
Oh God, how do I answer this and explain it correctly?
“First of all, you did the right thing by telling me.” He nods. “You’re a very smart boy, and sometimes other kids can do and say hurtful things to those who aren’t like them. But you’ve done nothing wrong.” Sweat breaks out on my forehead. I’m so not very good at this and I don’t want to give the wrong advice. “How does it make you feel when she calls you that?”
“Angry.”
“You’re allowed to feel angry, Lucas,” I say, moving his hair from his forehead. He doesn’t usually like being touched by me, he allows it this time.
He scrunches up his face. “I want to hit her.”
“I understand that. What she is doing is hurtful, but hitting is not going to help. I’m really proud of you for not hitting, Lucas.” I pause and then ask, “Is Madelyn in your day camp?” In the summers, Jesse puts Lucas in three afternoons a week. Lucas normally doesn’t like to go, but he needs the interaction.
“Yes.”
“I think your Dad should talk to your camp counselor. Would you be okay with me telling your Dad about Madelyn?”
He nods. “Caleb says I should ignore her.”
I smile. “Caleb is a good friend, and he cares about you. Sometimes ignoring it doesn’t make the problem go away, though. Sometimes we can’t always solve the problem ourselves either. If she says it again, just know it’s not anything you’ve said or done.”
He yawns. “Okay.”
“You stick with Caleb at day camp, okay?”
“We like to swing on the bars. Caleb thinks he’s a monkey,” he says and laughs. I smile at that and hand him his stuffed dinosaur. He takes it into his arms and squeezes.
“Good night, Lucas.”
“We’re going to have peanut butter sandwiches when we go see the dinosaurs.”
“I know. I can’t wait.”
“Me too.”
I tuck him in again, and step into the hall, leaving his door cracked the way he likes it. I head down the hall, my heart painfully tight. I understand bullying, to a certain degree. When I was in seventh grade, one of the mean girls started picking on me. Later that week, Jesse sat at my table and had lunch with me. The teasing stopped, and to this day, I’m pretty sure Jesse making an appearance had everything to do with it. I’m also pretty sure he’d done it on purpose. Even when he was young, he was always aware of the things going on around him.
I stop outside his bedroom, and glance over my shoulder. My goodness, I feel like a child about to get caught with their hand in the cookie jar. A yawn pulls at me. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind me taking a fast nap in his bed. Heck, I’ll probably be up and in front of the TV when he gets home and he’d be none the wiser anyway.
Or not…
6
Jesse
The house is quiet when I enter, the dishes cleaned from the table. I’m not at all surprised by that. I call out to Olivia and wait for a reply. When no response comes, I step into the living room to find the TV off, but the lights still on, like someone left in a hurry. My thoughts instantly go to Lucas, and I fight off a burst of panic. Olivia is responsible. One of the most responsible people I know. If anything happened to Lucas, she’d have called me. Chances are she fell asleep while reading to him. I know I’ve dozed off a time or two.
I take my shoes off and quietly take the stairs two at a time, I’m about to walk past my bedroom when a bundle on my bed catches my eye. I turn and spot Olivia curled up in my bed, looking warm, lush and so inviting, and a hot wave of need grips me.
Fuck me.
I swallow against a tight throat, and force my legs into motion. I move down the hall to check on Lucas. When I find him fast asleep, I go back to my bedroom. I quietly cross the room and stand over sleeping beauty, taking my time to admire her.
Do I wake her?
She’s been working so hard, I’m not sure I have the heart to rouse her from her slumber and send her home. Maybe I’ll let her sleep here, and I’ll go pass out on the sofa. I stand there a moment longer, my gaze tracking over her T-shirt and yoga pants. My God, the girl has curves I’d like to sink my fingers and teeth into. Talk about an insta-boner—a traitorous boner that is encouraging me to go for it.
But that would be so fucking wrong.
She’s not accustomed to occasional hookups. That thought almost makes me laugh. Yeah, I’m not accustomed to them either, not anymore anyway.
She makes a sound in her sleep, a moan of sorts and flips over restlessly. Her eyelids flutter, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Jesus, is she having a nightmare? She whimpers again, her fingers digging into my bedding.
I lower myself and perch on the side of the mattress, not wanting to startle her. She flips over and faces me, her eyes pinched tight, and this time I’m pretty sure she’s having some kind of night terror. I lightly touch her arm, find her skin hot to the touch.
“Olivia,” I whisper, and she stills. “Olivia, I think you’re having a bad dream.”
With her chest rising and falling rapidly—and yes, I’m doing my damndest not to stare at her lush breasts, and failing miserably thank you very much—she opens one eye and then the another.
“Jesse,” she murmurs. Catching me off guard, she inches up, and puts her hands around my neck. Her hot fingers tug on my hair as she drags me to her, her lush lips inches from mine as she falls back onto the pillow. Her breath rushes over my skin, stirs my aching cock. “Please…” she murmurs.
What the hell?
Fuck, maybe she’s not having a nightmare at all. Maybe she’s having a sex dream, and those are moans of want, not moans of fear. She squirms, and I shift until I’m on top of her, pressing her into the soft mattress with my hardness. And right now, I have a whole fucking lot of hardness—all centered between my legs.
Her tongue slips inside my mouth, tangles with mine, and my world spins on its axis. My God, she’s warm and needy and I could kiss her sweet mouth for an eternity.
“Jesse,” she whimpers again as her long legs slide around my ass. Need zaps my balls as she lifts her hips, and presses her hot core against my raging cock. Christ. I should put a stop to this. I need to put a stop to this.
Then why the hell aren’t I?
I push her hair from her face, note her closed eyes and the needy moans spilling from her throat. Could this woman be any hotter? For a girl who is a bookworm, a brilliant student, it surprises me how goddamn oblivious she is to her sexua
lity. Truthfully, she’s sexy on a whole other level. I briefly pinch my eyes shut. I somehow knew underneath it all, when this woman let go of her inhibitions, she’d be wild, and free, so damn open in the bedroom, it would fuck a man over in more ways than one.
The gentleman in me urges me to stop this, my cock however…
Wake her up, dude?
“Olivia,” I whisper, and her moans fade away. She blinks, and I can tell the instant awareness seeps in by the way her body stiffens. “I think you were dreaming,” I say, and my cock screams at me from between my legs, telling me to stop being a pussy-ass gentleman and give this woman what she wants.
But this is Olivia.
Heat and electricity arcs between us, and while I should pull away, I can’t seem to bring myself to do it. And why is that? Oh, because I want to fuck her in the worst way.
“Yeah,” she murmurs.
“What were you dreaming about?”
Light shines in through my open curtains, highlighting the flush on her cheeks. Oh, yeah, she was definitely having a sex dream. Wait. My muscles go tight. Was she dreaming of Colin? Why the fuck does that thought bother me so much?
She called your name, dude.
She blinks rapidly. “I…nothing. I don’t remember.”
I should let this go, but I can’t. I don’t know why, or maybe I do. “I think you were having a sex dream.”
I run my tongue over my lips, to taste her sweetness again. She groans and puts her hands over her face.
“Hey,” I say as I gently tug them away and when I pin them to her sides, a fine shiver goes through her, telling me so goddamn much about her wants and needs. My heart pumps a whole lot faster, crashes against my ribs as I visualize the way I want to hold her down hard and do dirty things to her.
“You can tell me,” I say softly. “We go way back. No judgement. I promise.”
She tugs on her bottom lip with her teeth. “Okay, I…it’s just…I was probably dreaming because I haven’t been with anyone for a very long time,” she admits.
I nod and not wanting her to feel alone in this, I say, “I know the feeling.”
“I know you do.” She swallows and averts her gaze. “I actually haven’t been with anyone since college.” She’s not telling me anything I already don’t know—Kylie wasn’t great at keeping her best friend’s secrets—but why is she telling me this? I’m not sure, but one thing I do know is when I pinned her hands to the bed, it brought hunger to her eyes. Not to mention last night, when I held her legs down on the sofa. That same raw need spread across her gorgeous face. Damned if I don’t want to be the guy to take her where she needs to go and satisfy all those unanswered desires.
She snorts. “That experience was pretty horrible, actually.”
I study her face and get the sense there is more going on with her, something she’s hiding from me. Deciding to get to the bottom of the matter, I ask, “Do you think that’s the only reason you were dreaming about sex? Because it’s been a while?”
Her gaze moves over my face and I don’t miss the unease in her dark eyes. Worry lingers there, and she shifts uneasily beneath me. “About Colin—”
“Oh, shit I get it,” I say as one working brain cell kicks into gear. “You’re worried about hooking up with Colin.”
“I don’t want—”
“To come off as inexperienced.” I nod. “I get it.”
Her mouth opens and closes as she stares up at me with those big doe eyes of hers. I shift and my raging hard-on presses against her leg. Her eyes go wide, now fully aware that if she’s game to take this further, I’m game too.
“Jesse?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re…hard.”
“No shit,” I say and we both laugh a little nervously. “I come home and find you here in my bed, all warm and sexy and moaning. How can I not be hard?”
“Right, it’s been a while,” she murmurs, a line in her forehead as she frowns.
“Seriously? You think I’m hard because it’s been a while?” I shake my head. “You really don’t know how sexy you are, do you?”
Long lashes fall and open rapidly, like she’s trying to wrap her brain around that. Yeah, I get it. I’ve never come straight out and said she was sexy before. It sort of goes against keeping things in the friend zone and all, but right now, with my dick outing me, revealing one very big secret, I think we’ve moved beyond that. I just can’t let this ruin anything between us. As I think about that, a ridiculous, stupid, idiotic plan forms in my pea brain.
It’s the worst plan in the world and if I knew what was good for me, I’d shut it down now.
“I can help you out,” I say.
Dude, what the fuck are you doing?
“Help me out?”
I casually roll my shoulder and work to keep my voice steady while a storm rages inside me. “Well, we’re both kind of here in my bed, both you know…”
“Aroused?”
“Yeah, and neither one of us has been with anyone in a while. We can sort of kill two birds with one stone.”
One very big, hard stone.
“Two birds?”
“I can put my cock in you, Olivia. Give us what we both obviously need, and while I’m doing it, I can give you the experiences you want—the lessons. You know, so when you and Colin finally hook up, you’ll be sure of yourself, confident, know what you like and dislike, know how you want to please your guy.”
“I…uh…”
I study her face, the sexy flush on her cheeks. “That’s what you want, right?”
I’m honestly not sure whether I want her to say yes or no. We’re crossing a line here, and I’m man enough to admit it’s motherfucking frightening.
She wets her mouth, her gaze dropping to mine, like she’s dying to kiss me again. “It’s a bad plan, Jesse,” she says, but dammit, her eyes and the subtle movements in her body tell a completely different story. She wants this as much as I do.
“I know.” I brush my thumb over her kiss swollen lips. “Then I guess we’re doing it, huh?”
Fuck, I need her to say no as much as I need her to say yes.
A beat of silence as need and heat buzzes between us.
“Yeah, we’re definitely doing it.”
My cock jumps and my insides feel like they’re being tossed around inside a dryer drum.
Is this really happening?
“One thing. We don’t let this come between our friendship.” I move a strand of hair from her face. We have to be on the same page here, because if she doesn’t agree, I’m going to call abort. I want her, but no goddamn way am I going to risk ruining what we have between us. “We protect our friendship at all costs, okay?”
She nods. “I want that too. We can never let anything come between us, Jesse.”
“One more thing.”
“Yeah?”
“I want you to moan for me. I want you to let me know what you like, and how you like it. I don’t want you to be shy or hold back, okay?” I touch her neck, and her skin sizzles beneath my hand.
“Okay,” she murmurs, but I sense her trepidation.
“Olivia?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I put my cock in you now?” Her body heats beneath me, and I trail my finger down her arm, across her stomach, and toy with the band on her yoga pants. “After I’ve kissed every inch of you, of course.” Yeah, I plan to fuck that trepidation right out of her until she’s a quivering mess beneath me, begging for what she wants.
Before she can answer, I take her arms and put them above her head. A little whimper catches in her throat as her fingers tighten around the slats in the headboard. “Keep them there.”
“Jesse,” she whimpers, the urgency in her voice telling me all I need to know.
Deciding to play with her, I say, “If you move them before I say you can, I might just tie them to the bedpost.”
“Ohmigod,” she whimpers, and I bite back a chuckle.
“Maybe I’ll do that any
way.” It’s obvious she likes the idea. “Tie you up and have you at my mercy.”
“Jesse…”
“Yeah?”
“I…I’ve never done that.”
I angle my head, press an open mouth kiss to her collarbone. She quakes beneath me. “Are you saying you don’t want to?”
A pause and then, “No.”
Jesus, she’s killing me here. With a new kind of urgency pressing in on me, I stand, tear open my pants, and kick them to the floor. Her gaze slides down my body, and her eyes go big when she’s sees my raging erection behind my tightly stretched boxers. I reach behind my head and tug off my T-shirt.
She goes up on her elbows for a better view, and I move, step into the light slanting in through my open curtains. She’s seen me shirtless before, but I’ve never seen her look at me the way she’s looking right now, and I kind of like it. Maybe a little too much.
“Are you checking me out, Olivia?”
She averts her gaze. “Sorry.”
I laugh. “Don’t be sorry. The truth is, I like it.”
Her gaze slowly moves back to my near nakedness. “You do?”
“Yeah, and I like looking too.” I stand for a moment, and consider the path my hands and tongue will take on her body as I let her look her fill. “I can’t see much in the dark, though.”
“Leave the lights off,” she says, a hint of panic in her voice.
“Yeah?”
She nods, her eyes dropping, and narrowing like she’s struggling to see my erection. I peel my boxers off and take my cock into my hand. Her sweet little gasp makes me chuckle. Jesus, we’re going to have so much fun. I stroke myself, and she whimpers and shifts, her body so achingly hungry—calling out to me in ways that are fucking with my mind and dick. Christ, I’m damn near ready to explode from the sight of her squirming as she watches me work my hand over my cock. But I don’t want to rush this. No, I need to take it slow with her, give her the experience she’s looking for.