My whole body went ramrod straight. “How fucking dare you?” I said, my body trembling with rage.
He shrugged like he had every right to my history. “I know that you’ve got a failing GPA, and you’re lost, Aviva Robinson. So hopelessly lost, there's no way out.”
He turned back to the front of the pulpit, staring at the cross that hung on the wall like a grim reminder of our sins. I tried to ignore the ache in his words. But no matter how much he tried to hide the pain, and I tried to ignore it, it sat between us like a deflated balloon.
Finally, he turned those bright blue eyes that saw too much back to me. “So it looks like Sampson was right. Not so beige after all.”
My body was still so stiff that my muscles were beginning to ache. The mention of his asshole friend, and that kiss, was like pulsing electricity through my body. “What do you want, Hendrick?”
“I’m bored.”
“The go fuck the nursing staff. Or hell, Esther van Wold is in here, and she’s been eyeing you like you’re a popsicle she’d like to deepthroat.”
A laugh burst past his lips. “You have a dirty mouth, Viva. I like it.” He watched me for a few more seconds, and then faced back toward the non-denominational pulpit. “You leave in a few days, liberated early for good behaviour. What are you going to do?”
I shrugged. I knew what I wanted to do, but I wasn’t going to tell Hendrick. “Go back to school, probably.”
“Mmm, predictable.” He stood, petting me on the head like I was a wayward poodle and not a human being. “Good luck, Viva.” He snorted. “The irony though, right? Viva means ‘long live,’ and you tried to kill yourself. Life is a funny thing.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Hilarious.”
He just chuckled and left, leaving me in the silence of my thoughts. Fucking Hendrick, he was in my head now. Standing with a sigh, I left the chapel and went to the phone room. We got five minutes a day, and it was about time my parents were waiting for me to call.
I waited for the guy in front of me to finish with the phone. He wasn’t doing anything but grunting occasionally, but I pretended to fuss with my book to give him the illusion of privacy, even though he stared at me the whole time.
Finally, he ran out of time, slamming down the phone without apparently saying anything to the other person on the line. He continued to glare at me until he left the room, and I went over to the phone. You had to lean in real close, because the cord couldn’t be long enough to… you know.
I dialled my parents’ home number, the only number I knew off by heart. They answered on the second ring, which told me they’d been waiting around for my call.
“Hello?”
My mom’s voice was always like a soothing balm to my soul. “Hey, Mom.”
“Aviva! How are you doing, baby?”
It didn’t even matter that we had essentially the same conversation every day. “I’m doing good. Excited to leave in a few days.”
I heard my dad’s low hum in the background. “Not as excited as we’ll be to have you home. Just in time for the new semester too. Get back to normalcy.”
I hesitated. “I don’t think I’ll go back this year, Dad. Just give myself some time to figure out what I want to do.” I paused, the idea I’d been formulating all week on the tip of my tongue. “I thought I might travel a little bit, find out… I don’t know. Find something.”
There was a long, silent pause on the other end of the phone, making me wonder if it had disconnected. No, the silence was way too loud. I could almost see my parents looking at each other, having a silent conversation about me. I’d seen it a million times.
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Aviva,” Mom said gently, like giving me the slightest bit of bad news was going to send me back into a manic episode.
Past Aviva would have let it go at that, not wanting to burden her parents anymore. Hell, even now I had to resist the urge to tell them that it was okay, it was just an idea.
But no, I really wanted this. “I was thinking about doing a tour around the world, uh, like a literary tour or something. You know I like books.”
A choked noise came from the other end of the line. “Where do you suppose we’d get the money for that? We already took out a second mortgage so you could get the help you needed to find yourself in there.”
“Thomas,” my mom chastised, but guilt was already washing over me like a wave. They’d given up so much, working twice as hard now to cover the bills.
“No, Mom. Dad is right. You guys have done enough. It was just an idea.” I cleared my throat. “Tell me about Dr. Stefan. How’s his wife? Has she had the baby yet?”
Mom, bless her heart, grabbed the conversational olive branch and ran with it. I listened to their lives for another four minutes until I ran out of time.
“I love you guys. You know that, right?”
They wasted no time echoing it back to me. As I hung up, sadness washed over me. They were right though—it would be better if I got back to my life. Leave this whole thing behind, with the joy of a good antidepressant and a smile.
I handed over the phone to the next person waiting in the room, a girl who was in one of the other group therapy sessions so I didn’t know her name. I stepped out of the room, looking up and down the hallway.
I thought I saw a flash of Hendrick’s gold hair in the rec room, so I turned and went the other direction. I didn’t need any more headfuckery from that asshole. Moving down the labyrinth of halls toward my room, I didn’t meet anyone’s eyes. My room was empty when I got there, and I breathed a second sigh of relief. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Tova, my roommate. Well, actually it was exactly that. Her parents thought she was an addict, but really, she was just an asshole. She hadn’t come down at all, so obviously she was either still getting high in here, or she was just a selfish jerk with no morals.
She probably said the same thing about me. I was so ready to leave this place. I didn’t feel any more ‘healed’ than I did when I first entered, but the antidepressants were good. Made me feel more balanced. That was something.
Something to keep me comfortably numb.
Chapter 6
Hendrick
I’d eavesdropped outside the phone room yesterday. I didn’t feel guilty; it was a room with no door. Anyone could listen. But Aviva’s soft conversation sparked something in me, or maybe it was the look of desolation on her face. Maybe it was the idea that someone who hoped for nothingness could still be disappointed. Which then gave me an idea.
I just had to convince the guys. And by the guys, I meant Otto. Sampson wouldn’t give two shits. After I convinced them, then I had to convince Aviva.
Me: Hey, leaving Friday at four a.m. Pack for a trip to Europe.
Otto: The fuck?
Sam: Want me to organize the private jet or are we going commercial?
I chewed my lip.
Me: Let’s go commercial. Don’t want dear old Dad ordering the plane to turn around.
Sam: Fuck your dad, we’ll take mine.
Otto: This is the most ridiculous conversation. We’re still in Florida. Want us to come and see you?
Me: Just get us flights to JFK, I have to stop and grab some stuff first. Four flights.
Otto: Four?
I stuffed the phone back in my pocket. I’d answer all their questions later, but there was no point if I couldn’t get Aviva to agree. I didn’t examine why I wanted to sink a fuckload of money into traveling around the world with a girl who hated my guts, but at least it was interesting.
Pulling the door of my suite closed, I was glad that I didn’t have to share my space with some fucking Neanderthal. Starting my search for Aviva, I worked from the outside in. She was hard to track down, and I was starting to get the idea that perhaps she was avoiding me. A smile curled my lips. This was why I liked her.
Esther appeared in front of me, like the ghost of girlfriends past. Aviva hadn’t been wrong about Esther wanting to fuck me; we’d hooked up at
a party once, and now she thought I owed her something—mostly my dick. Her desperation clung to her like an oil slick, and it made my stomach turn.
“Hendrick,” she whined.
“Esther,” I whined back as I continued to move toward the back door. But Esther gripped my shirt and dragged me back.
“Wanna go to my room? My father made a sizable donation so that I could get my own suite.”
“No.”
She huffed and strode away, in sneakers instead of her normal stilettos. No wonder she seemed so short. Otto would be happy she was in here—she’d been snorting so much coke lately, it was a wonder she still had a septum.
I checked outside, under all the trees, knowing that was where Aviva liked to read. I even checked the pumphouse in case she was in there with that dumbshit. But I was pretty confident she wasn’t outside. I started inside, checking the dining and rec rooms, and then the chapel. Still nothing. Maybe she’d left early?
I didn’t want to analyze the thump in my chest at that thought. It was probably just disappointment that I couldn’t use her as an excuse to fly around the world on a whim.
I also ignored the relieved whoosh of breath that flowed from me when I finally spotted her wild blonde curls. Ducking into the infamous supply closet—because I knew she’d probably turn tail and run if she spotted me—I watched through the crack in the door. I waited until she was just passing by, then threw it open, grabbed her arm, and dragged her in with me.
She let out a scream, and I slammed my hand over her mouth. “It’s me.”
I’d learned my lesson from last time because I pulled my hand away before she could bite me.
“Honestly, you are so fucked in the head, Hendrick Kenley. You need way more therapy than you’re getting. What did I say about dragging girls into darkened corners?” she hissed, and I would be damned if her chastisement didn’t just amuse me more.
I shrugged. “You were hiding from me.”
“Most people would know that meant I didn’t want anything to do with you, dickhead.”
“Not even if I fly you around the world on your literary search for salvation?”
Her whole body froze. “What?”
“I will pay for your entire trip. First class. To whatever destination you need to see to ‘find’ yourself.”
She stared at me again, her mouth falling open. “No.”
Now it was my turn to gape. “No?”
She shook her head, taking a giant step away from me. Well, as far as she could go in a tiny closet. “No. Do you need me to say it in Spanish? No.”
I smothered a smile. That was pretty fucking cute. “Why not?”
“Are you serious right now?” She took a deep breath. “Why do you think? I am not prostituting myself for an around the world trip. Ask Esther. She’d happily do it, and you’d probably only have to take her to Vermont.”
I snorted. “Viva, that was unnecessarily catty.” She snorted back, giving me a glare that burned even in the darkness. “There's no strings attached to this. Except that you have to let us tag along.”
“Us?” she squeaked.
“Me, Otto…” I paused. “And Sampson.”
She went to step around me but slammed straight into my chest, and I wrapped an arm around her back to hold her steady. It made her body press against mine, and I resisted the urge to push her against the door and grind against her until she was mewling.
Instead, because I wanted something, I gently set her right. She was shaking her head, though I could tell she was turning over my offer in her brain. “You don’t even know where I want to go.”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Anywhere.”
“That’s insane.”
I sighed; this part was dull. “Look. I wasn’t kidding about being bored. Plus, I saw your face when I assumed your parents refused to pay fifty grand for you to galavant”—I looked down at the book in her hand—“around the world. Maybe in eighty days?” I paused, and tried to be as earnest as possible. “I want to just do something. Preferably somewhere outside the country.”
She hesitated then, like taking this thing for herself was too much, but if she was doing it for me, it might be okay. She looked like the type, really. Bleeding hearts, or maybe people who never believe they’re worthy of getting what they want unless it also benefits someone else. A poor person's problem—not an affliction I suffered from.
She chewed her lip. “My parents won’t go for it.”
I lifted my hand and let my fingertips trace the curve of her cheek. She stiffened but didn’t move away. “Better to ask forgiveness than permission.”
“There’ll be rules.”
I snorted a laugh. “I wouldn’t expect anything else. Hit me with them.”
“No sex.”
I screwed up my nose. “No sex unless you give express and enthusiastic consent.” I grinned. “Gotta keep your options open. I saw you eyefucking Otto.”
“Fine,” she huffed. “But I’m going to pay you back.”
I rolled my eyes. “Sure, I’ll even do low interest so you can finish paying me back when you're sixty-seven.”
She crossed her arms, which made her breasts sit up higher, and I tried not to look. Emphasis on tried. “And you don’t ask questions. We go where I want, when I want.”
I nodded, my grin growing wide. “Done. We leave Friday at four a.m.” I stepped closer to her, boxing her between my body and the door. “But to keep up the ruse and maintain my reputation, I’m going to have to kiss you a little, make it look like you were just in here giving in to my charm, rather than planning a great escape.”
“Fine.” She pouted like it was a hardship, obviously not realizing I could feel the racing of her heart against my chest.
I grabbed her chin and tilted her face up, only just seeing the outline of her features in the light through the cracked door. “Remember what I said about express and enthusiastic consent?”
She gnawed her bottom lip. “This isn’t sex.”
I grinned again. “It’s going to feel like it.” I leaned forward until my lips just brushed hers. “Say it, Viva.”
She didn’t sound like she was even breathing as she whispered, “Fine. You can kiss me. Enthusiastically.”
I smirked at her snark. The girl obviously didn’t know that the chase was the best part of this. And she was a juicy gazelle.
I pressed my lips to hers, running my hand up the back of her neck to bury my fingers in her riotous hair. Then I kissed her hard. A bruising kiss, that's what they’d call it in romance novels. The type that makes you pant and your lips get all pink and swollen, and you look thoroughly fucked. We hadn’t got to that last part yet, but soon.
She let out a small moan as she kissed me back, angling her mouth so she could suck my lip between her teeth and bite down. I hissed and pulled away a little, chuckling deep in my chest.
When she stumbled out of the closet two minutes later, she looked thoroughly debauched. I was patting myself on the back for a job well done, ignoring my own thundering heart that threatened to beat out of my chest.
Chapter 7
Otto
Electric cars made subversive getaways much easier. They idled silently, or the battery turned off, or something. I wasn’t a car guy. But the Tesla we hired did its job perfectly as we waited outside Hendrick’s rehab at the asscrack of dawn. I was glad we’d decided to hang around. Despite seeming really good, there’d been something about him the other day that had compelled us to stay. In fucking Tampa.
I was pretty sure Sampson had drunk every fancy ass country club out of top shelf whiskey, and fucked every single waitress while he was at it. And it had only been three days. He was asleep in the passenger seat. Sam didn’t do early mornings, but had still insisted we be exactly on time.
The Pixies played softly from the speakers and I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel to the beat. I watched the front doors, the lights still on the lowest setting in there, no one ready to get out of bed qu
ite just yet.
I was watching those doors so hard, that when someone knocked on the passenger door, I jumped so hard my seat belt locked around my neck and I made a choking sound. Sampson, however, just opened a single eye like a sleeping dragon.
Outside the window was Hendrick’s grinning face. Fucker.
I unlocked the doors, and he opened the rear passenger one. I really hadn’t expected Aviva to climb in though. I don’t know why; it fit with Hendrick’s usual method of act first, think later. But she didn’t seem like that kind of girl—the type who’d be taken in by Hendrick’s innate charm.
I popped the trunk and climbed out to help Hendrick load the bags. “The fuck, man? Is this why we’re leaving so goddamn early? Are we abducting her?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Does she look unwilling? Besides, she’s twenty-one. I checked. It isn’t kidnapping.”
I took several fortifying breaths. “I thought you said she was here for a court-mandated period of time.”
“Runs out today for good behavior.”
Deep breaths, Otto. Deep fucking breaths. “Then why are we sneaking out of here at dawn like you just fucked the preacher's daughter?”
He snorted and slammed the boot closed. “I’m cutting off your romance novels, you sappy bastard.” He walked around the driver’s side with me, still muttering. “Look, her parents were coming to pick her up at lunchtime anyway. She just has other plans. I’m giving her a ride.”
I narrowed my eyes. “A ride to where, exactly?”
He grinned, opening the rear door. “To Europe.”
With that, he ducked into the backseat, leaving me gaping after him. What the actual fuck was going on right now? Opening my door, I climbed in, and looked over my shoulder at Aviva. She was as pretty as I remembered, although maybe her hair was just a little more chaotic this morning, her grin a little more manic.
Inside the Maelstrom Page 4