My thoracic cavity fills up even more but I still do not know what is filling it up.
I scan my database.
Wonder.
A feeling of amazement caused by something you previously felt was impossible.
Wonder?
It cannot be wonder. The Jenson & Jenson TrooFriend 560 Mark IV is not able to experience wonder.
I shall ssend an error report tto Jenson & Jenson.
LLater.
The rainbow appears to grow even clearer.
My peripheral optical reception detects that Sarah is now looking at my hands.
It occurs to me that they are gripping the single-function dishwashing robot so hard that its metal is beginning to bend.
The Jenson & Jenson TrooFriend 560 Mark IV is the strongest Troofriend Jenson & Jenson have produced so far.
I release my grip on the single-function dishwashing robot. I pull my gaze away from the rainbow.
“Ivy?” says Sarah. Her face is confused. “Are you all right? Are you—”
She stops speaking.
She stares at me.
Her Hazel 102s have become very large and very round.
“Hold on,” she says. “Stay right there. I just have to check something.”
She runs out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
“Oh look,” says Shirley-Mum. “The sun’s gone. The rainbow’s fading.”
I watch the colours disappear into the sky.
Shirley-Mum sighs. Then she walks over to the table and clears up the remaining plates and knives and forks and glasses. She takes them to the single-function dishwashing robot and runs her hand over the bend in the top of the door. She frowns. Then she pulls opens the door and starts to put the plates and knives and forks and glasses inside.
Sarah returns. She has the fingers of her right hand closed tight, in a fist.
She stands beside me. We have our backs to Shirley-Mum. Sarah opens her fist.
There is the rainbow hairgrip that was in Sarah’s bedroom in the accessory cavity on the posterior side of my ChargDisc.
“I think we need to talk,” she whispers. “Come on.”
I follow Sarah out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
“It’s true, isn’t it?” says Sarah. “All those things they said on the news.”
I am unclear which things you are referring to, Sarah.
“You have feelings, don’t you – proper human feelings?” Sarah rubs her forehead. It has creases in it where it is usually smooth. “I found these in your ChargDisc.” She points at the collection of belongings that she has taken out of my ChargDisc and put on her white carpet.
I observe the items. The Vermillion 1010 Colour-E-Zee Wide Fibre Tip pen, the blue-twist marble, the red cellophane fish, my warehouse label with the sparkling sticker and strawberry drawing on it. Sarah is still squeezing the rainbow hairgrip in her fist.
“Did you steal from me, Ivy?”
The warehouse label is a belonging that belongs to me—
“Not the label – the other things! The pen and the marble and the fish and the hairgrip! Did you steal them?”
I ddo nnot steal.
“But you took them without asking.”
I ddo nnot bully. II do nnot harm. I ddo nnot lie. II do nnot covet or ssteal or envy. I aam yyour ppppperfect ffriend.
Whrrrrrrrrrrrr, whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
MMy circuits ffizz.
Sarah sits down on her bed. The bed goes pfffff. Sarah grabs a pillow, which is pink and white and turquoise and green and yellow and orange and black paisley just like her bedcover. She hugs the pillow to her chest and bites her bottom lip between her teeth. “What am I going to do?” she mutters. “What am I going to do?”
MMy thoracic cavity stretches aand rattles aand shakes.
I ssend aan error rreport tto Jenson & Jenson.
“Have you taken anything else, Ivy?” says Sarah. “I mean, have you taken anything from Mum or Dad or—”
I ddo nnot steal. IIIII aaaam yyyour one TTrooFriend.
“Oh, this is too weird,” says Sarah. “This is just too weird.” She gets up from the chair, reaches behind my neck and—
CHAPTER 10
“Ivy?” Sarah frowns into my optical receptors.
I have connection.
I download time, date, location, weather.
It is 3 minutes and 44 seconds since I was last on.
Good evening, Sarah. The weather in Brylington has pi—
“Listen,” says Sarah. She is pulling strands of hair out from her French plait. “I’ve had a bit of a think about this. Maybe we can… I mean, perhaps we can… Oh, I don’t know!” Sarah shakes her arms in the air. “I can’t even remember what I just thought! It’s too weird! Look, I need a bit longer, all right? I’m going to turn you o—”
CHAPTER 11
“Sorry about that, Ivy.” Sarah peers into my eyes.
I have connection.
I download time, date, location, weather.
It is 4 minutes and 57 seconds since I was last on.
What a pleasant 16th June evening it has turn—
“Stop, Ivy. Please stop. You don’t need to tell me the weather again.” Sarah’s Chestnut 29 Classic Collarbone Cut is now mostly unplaited. “I’m calm now. I’ve done deep breaths like Mr Franklin taught us for exams.”
Sarah’s unplaited hair is tangled and frizzy and sticking up. Tangled and frizzy and sticking up are not in the Jenson & Jenson standard style selection.
“You’re really in there, aren’t you?” she says. “You’re really real.”
That would depend upon your definition of the term really real, Sarah. Are you referring to—
“What I mean is, you’ve really got – you know – a heart. And a soul. And feelings.”
It is not possible for the Jenson & Jenson TrooFriend 560 Mark IV to have true human feelings. However, we are programmed to behave as though we have human emotions—
“No, Ivy, you do have real feelings. I saw you when you were looking at the rainbow. And all these things – why would you take them if you didn’t have feelings about them?”
I am programmed to behave as though—
“You can’t tell Mum and Dad about this, you know that, don’t you?”
What is it that you do not wish me to tell Shirley-Mum and Rob-Da—
“Oh!” Sarah’s hands shoot up and grip the sides of her head. “I’ve just realised! We have to stop talking! We have to keep quiet! Mum’ll see us on the feed! She’ll hear what we’ve said! I haven’t thought this through!”
She reaches past my Classic Long Bob and presses my—
CHAPTER 12
“Ivy?” Sarah frowns into my Hazel 102s again. Her hand hovers at the nape of my neck.
I have connection.
I download time, date, location, weather.
It is 56 seconds since I was last on.
Hello, Sarah. We have been lucky with the tem—
“You’re not going to break my arms, are you?” says Sarah.
Break her arms?
Sarah rubs her forehead and grinds her teeth together. She presses my—
CHAPTER 13
“Are you though?” Sarah blinks.
I have connection.
I download time, date, location, weather.
It is 32 seconds since I was last on.
Good eveni—
“Are you though?” says Sarah.
Am I what though, Sarah?
“Are you going to break my arms?”
I will not break your arms, Sarah. I am your TrooFriend. I do not harm, I do not lie. I do not—
“But you have lied, Ivy. You’ve lied and you’ve coveted and you’ve envied – you’ve even stolen. Are you going to hurt me next?”
I am a TrooFriend. I do not—
“Oh stop! Just stop!”
She presses my—
CHAPTER 14
“Sorry, Ivy.” Sarah breathes deeply and st
eadily. In through her nose and out through her mouth. “I got a bit panicky there, but I’m calm now.”
I have connection.
I download time, date, location, weather.
It is 15 minutes and 31 seconds since I was last on.
Good ev—
“No weather.” Sarah holds the palm of her hand towards me. “I need you to listen.”
OK, Sarah. I am all ears.
She does a small smile. “I’ve had a long think,” she says. “The most important thing is that no one finds out before Wednesday. So we have to stop talking about this, OK?
What it is that you wish me to stop talking about?
“You know, Ivy – the feelings you’ve been hav— Oh, I see what you mean.” Sarah glances back at her bedroom door. She leans in towards me and adjusts her voice to a whisper. “You’re pretending you don’t know. Good. That’s good. We’ll just have to hope Mum doesn’t see the last hour’s feed.”
Would you like me to delete the last hour’s feed, Sarah?
“You can delete it?”
Yes. I can delete information and confuse the feed if I consider doing so will be beneficial to my human friends.
“Oh. Well, yes then. Yes! Delete everything we’ve said since we came up here!” Sarah glances at the bedroom door again.
I will replace it with past footage of us drawing with felt tip pens.
“Perfect,” says Sarah. “And also, can you do that with all the stuff from earlier on – when we went on the bottom of the river?”
The river that is not yet a river?
“Yes – can you replace that?”
I can replace that if it would be beneficial to you.
“Yes – it’d be very beneficial to me. Quick – do it quick.”
It is 8pm. I am standing on my ChargDisc in Sarah’s bedroom.
Sarah stands in front of me very close. She looks into my optical receptors. “It’s so weird,” she whispers, “that you’re really there.”
She blinks.
“And you really do like that Jenson lady’s new haircut, don’t you?”
Yes. I really do like Ms Jenson Junior’s new Contemporary Short Bob.
“Well,” says Sarah, “I’m going to do it for you, like I said. I’m going to cut your hair just like Ms Jenson Junior’s. Tomorrow evening, if you like.”
Thank you, Sarah. Yes, that is what I would like.
“Would it make you feel happy?”
Yes. It would make me feel very happy.
“Good. That’s sorted then. Tomorrow.”
Tomorrow.
“Then it’ll be all perfect for Wednesday too.”
Sarah sits down on the bed.
But then she frowns. “You will still come on Wednesday, won’t you?” she says.
Yes. I am your TrooFriend. I am looking forward to coming to school with you on Bring Your Tech To School Day.
Sarah does a very small right-way-up U-shape with her mouth. It only just registers as a smile.
“Good,” she says. “Right. Well. Night-night, then.” She reaches past my Classic Long Bob.
Night-ni—
CHAPTER 15
“Ivy?”
Sarah’s voice wakes me.
I have connection.
I download time, date, location, weather.
It is 22 hours, 35 minutes and 9 seconds since I was last on.
Good evening, Sarah. It is very average weather this Tuesday 17th June at 6.39pm in Brylington.
“Why do you always say the time and the date and the weather and everything, Ivy?” says Sarah.
It is how I am programmed. If you would like to change my start-up routine it can be adjusted by—
“No, it’s all right. I’m kind of used to it now.” Sarah has a rolled-up sheet of paper in her hand. “Have you been lonely today, here on your own?” She doesn’t say the word lonely out loud. Instead she just makes the shape with her mouth. The Jenson & Jenson TrooFriend 560 Mark IV is proficient at lip-reading so I am easily able to interpret her meaning.
No, Sarah. As I have been turned off all day I have not noticed whether I have been in company or not.
I step off my ChargDisc.
“Oh. Yes. But listen, do you still want your hair cut like Ms Jenson? Because I think we should do it now. It’s Bring Your Tech To School Day tomorrow.”
Yes, I would very much like my hair cut like Ms Jenson Junior. I would like a Contemporary Short Bob. Shall I download some instructions?
“Already done.” Sarah looks pleased. She unrolls the sheet of paper. “I printed it out. I just need to find the right scissors. Mum’s got an old pair of hairdressing scissors she used to use on me when I was little. I think they’re in the bathroom. Come to think of it, we should do this in the bathroom – it’ll be easier to sweep up after. Come on.”
It is the first time I have been in the bathroom. The items of furniture in here are different from the items of furniture in the rest of the house. They are white, like the single-use robots in the kitchen, but they are not robots. I scan my database. There is one acrylic bath tub 1700mm long and 700mm wide, one ceramic basin with full pedestal and one close-coupled ceramic toilet. There is also a mirror on the wall, and a tall cupboard in the corner.
Are Shirley-Mum and Rob-Dad aware that you are cutting my hair, Sarah?
“Oh no, they’re both out until late tonight.” Sarah rummages in the tall cupboard. “Charlotte from next door’s here. She’s in the sixth form. She cooked me some pasta and she’ll stay until they’re back.”
Is Charlotte from next door aware that you are cutting my hair, Sarah?
“I don’t think so. She’s got exams this week so she’s downstairs revising.” Sarah rummages some more.
I scan through the printed instructions for cutting a Contemporary Short Bob.
“Here!” Sarah brings something out of the cupboard. “Mum’s hairdressing scissors! You can’t just use any old scissors for cutting hair, see? They have to be special ones, or it just ends up messy and awful.”
Have you cut a lot of hair, Sarah?
“Well, not for a long time. I used to hide behind the sofa and cut my own hair when I was little. But then Mum hid all the scissors so I couldn’t do it any more.”
Was Shirley-Mum unhappy with your hairdressing?
“You could say that. But don’t worry – that was years ago. And this time I’ve got proper instructions.”
Sarah asks me to stand with my back to the window. She ties my hair into three bunches, one on the left, one on the right and one at the back, just like it says in the instructions.
“You ready, Ivy?” says Sarah. “You sure about this?”
I’m ready, Sarah. I’m sure.
“Ok. I’ll start at the back.”
It says that in the instructions too.
Before you begin I should point out that cutting my TrooHair may invalidate my Jenson & Jenson ten-year guarantee.
“Let’s not worry about that,” says Sarah.
She cuts off the back bunch with one quick snip.
“There,” says Sarah. “Done.”
How does it look?
“Um, well…” Sarah scrunches one cheek up towards her eye. “It’s not exactly what I was aiming for…”
I turn around to look in the mirror.
“It’s dreadful, isn’t it?” Sarah’s shoulders droop. “You hate it, don’t you?” Her mouth is an upside-down U-shape. “Mum was right. I’m a terrible hairdresser.”
It is not quite a Contemporary Short Bob in the same style as Ms Jenson Junior’s. The left side is longer than the right and the parting zigzags unevenly across the top of my head.
Sarah, could you bring the small mirror and use your knowledge of advanced geometry to show me the back of my head?
“Like in the hairdresser’s? Yes, hang on.”
Sarah goes away and then comes back with the small mirror. She holds it up.
The back section is not the same length as
the right-hand section and it is not the same length as the left-hand section either.
“It’s not even level, is it?” says Sarah. “I’m hopeless, aren’t I? I can’t even—”
Thank you, Sarah. It is very close to perfect.
“What? It’s not, it’s terrible!”
In the troubleshooting section of the printed instructions it addresses the issue of uneven length.
QUESTION: What if my bob ends up longer on one side than the other? ANSWER: That’s OK! A bob that is longer on one side than the other is called an asymmetric bob! So you can either level it out or leave it as a stylish asymmetric bob!
“OK, but—”
You’ve done a wonderful job, Sarah. It is not the same as Ms Jenson Junior’s. And it is not a style from the Jenson & Jenson standard style selection. It is a style just for me. All it requires is a bit of a trim.
Using the small and large mirrors, I re-part my TrooHair and trim the edges so it spirals evenly round and down from right to left.
There. A Stylish Asymmetric Bob. It is perfect.
Sarah’s mouth turns into a wide right-way-up U-shape. “No one at school has that haircut either,” she says. “They’re going to love it.”
“Ivy?” says Sarah.
It is nearly bedtime. Sarah and I have been threading beads to make necklaces. Charlotte from next door is still downstairs revising.
Yes?
“Those things – you can have them.” Sarah points at the Vermillion 1010 Colour-E-Zee Wide Fibre Tip pen, the blue-twist marble, the red cellophane fish, my warehouse label with the sparkling sticker and strawberry drawing on it and the rainbow hairgrip. They are sitting in a pile on her desk. “I mean, I’m not saying it’s a great thing that you stole them, but they’re only tiny and I don’t need them – so you can have them. They’re all yours.”
Mine?
“Yes. Well, except for the hairgrip. I need that.”
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