by Karen Clow
Just over an hour later a nurse came over to them and said, “We’ve taken him to a private room, he’s very drowsy but the doctor said you can see him.” Standing up Mickey thanked her as they followed her along a series of corridors, until they reached his room. As they entered the nurse asked them not to stay very long. Billy looked very pale as he lay there. Jess had tears rolling down her face as she walked over and took his hand. Slowly opening his eyes he smiled and then drifted off again. Mickey and George just stood there looking at him, but he didn’t open his eyes again. Putting a chair next to the bed, Mickey looked at Jess and said, “Sit down babe; it could be a long night. I’ll tell them you’re staying and don’t worry about Becky we’re only too happy to have her. I’ll call in the morning to see how he’s doing and don’t let him talk you into bed with him when he wakes up!” Giggling she replied, “Don’t worry I won’t, he’s going to rest whether he likes it or not!”
Standing up she hugged them both and thanked Mickey for everything.” “See you tomorrow.” Moments later they left.
CHAPTER 43
Tony had tried to talk to Belle but it was impossible, especially with Carlo being there. Finally as a compromise, more to stop another argument that anything else, Isabella said, “You can stay in the spare room until you sort things out Tony, but I want you to go out tonight so I can talk to the kids.” Reluctant to leave he said, “Why can’t I stay and talk to the kids? I expect you want to tell them what a rat their father is.” Trying not to show her anger and without raising her voice she replied, “You know me better than that Tony. I would never run you down to them regardless of what you’ve done. I just want some time on my own with them, that’s all. I don’t care where you go; I expect Lydia would welcome you with open arms.” Seething with temper he snapped back, “I fucking told you Belle it’s over, but if me going out helps to sort this mess out quicker, I’ll go to the club!” Nodding her head at him she replied, “Go wherever you like; but just go.”
Twenty minutes later he pulled up at the club but before getting out of his car he called Lydia. When she answered he could tell from her voice that she was still upset. Instantly he said, “This isn’t a social call; I just rang to tell you that I don’t want you contacting me.” In a shaky voice she replied, “Did you think for one minute I would after what you said?” Feeling a pang of guilt he replied, “What we had could have been so good Lydia, but not at the expense of my family. I told you that from the beginning!” “I know Tony and I’m really sorry your wife saw my text, I won’t contact you when the baby’s born. I only said that because I was angry with you.” “Are you keeping it then, I’ll pay for you to get rid of it.” “I wouldn’t take your money even if I wanted to get rid of it, which I don’t! I would have explained why, but there’s no point now!” “Well if you do decide to get rid, just let me know, I’ll get the money to you, ok?” “I’m keeping it Tony; this may be the one chance I have.” “Bollocks, you’re young, you could meet someone else.” “You don’t understand, firstly I don’t want anyone else and medically this baby is a miracle.” “What do you mean by that?” “It doesn’t matter now; it’s irrelevant. I’m going now because talking about us is upsetting.” His curiosity got the better of him. Before she could put the phone down on him, he put on the charm and said, “Babe I’m sorry things didn’t work out, but tell me what you meant.” Calmly she replied, “Seven years ago, I had a very aggressive type of cancer, the doctors all said that the chemo would probably make me infertile. I thought they were right, but I was just grateful to be alive. I didn’t care and resolved myself to thinking that I’d never have a child naturally. It was strange really, I haven’t had a proper period for years, but I just knew I felt different so I took the tests. So now you know Tony, that’s why I won’t terminate this baby!” “Well good luck babe, take care of yourself.” Then quite abruptly he ended the call.
Inside the club he mingled for a while then went to his office. Sitting there alone he thought about Belle and Lydia. Just how he would react if Belle had cancer, unable to even consider the worst scenario, he thought about Lydia and what having a child would mean to her. Despite what was going on, his children had brought him such happiness over the years, and he didn’t doubt for one minute they would help Belle get through should it be cancer. Never in his life did he ever think he would feel sorry for anyone, other than someone really close to him, but as he thought about Lydia, he did. Even though he knew it had to end, he wished that in some ways it could have been different. Maybe he had been a bit too hard on her; after all he had never told her not to text him. His thoughts were interrupted when Shane knocked on the door and opened it.
“Sorry Tony, but I thought you’d probably want to know, Billy’s been stabbed.” With a look of disbelief he said, “Fuck me is he ok? Where did it happen, do we know who did it?” “Mickey said it was that bird he’d been fucking, the one with the horses.” “Why didn’t Mickey call me?” “He tried but he couldn’t get through.” “Oh yeah, I was talking to someone.” Calling Mickey back they talked about what had happened. Mickey filled him in on the details of Billy, before saying, “Is everything ok Tony only you don’t seem yourself lately?” Tony told him about Belle finding out about Lydia, although he didn’t mention the pregnancy. “If there’s anything we can do, just let me know. I’m sure Maria could talk to her for you, if I asked her.” “Cheers Mickey, but I’ll sort it out, she’ll come round.” “Take care of her Tony, she’s a diamond.” “Yeah I know mate, give Billy my best, I’ll speak to you soon.” The call ended.
Tony left the club just before eleven, hoping that if he was home early enough, he could talk to Belle but she was already in bed as were the three younger kids. Carlo was the only one up. “You’re back early,” said Carlo, “I thought I’d have to wait up till the early hours.” Glaring at him his dad said, “Wait up for what?” Sarcastically he replied, “To remind you to sleep in the spare room.” “I don’t need fucking reminding!” Not wanting another run in with his dad, Carlo replied, “I know that dad, I was only thinking of mum, she looked terrible after she talked to us and she went to bed early.” Like his son he didn’t want things to escalate into a row, so he calmly replied, “What did she say then, do they all hate me?” “No one hates you dad, including mum, you should know that.” Carlo waited for him to reply; just as he was about to he started to cry. It was the first time his son had ever seen him so vulnerable, for a moment he was at a loss as too what to say. When Tony continued to cry, Carlo said, “You ok dad?” With a genuine look of sadness he replied, “No Carlo, I’m not ok. I know you don’t believe me, but I love your mum more than anything.”
Desperately wanting answers as to why his dad did the things he did, Carlo said, “Then why do you treat her so bad, she’s never given you reason to dad.” “I know that, I honestly don’t know why I do it. I’ve always thought we would grow old together. I can’t explain it Carlo, but I know without her I’m nothing.” Thinking of his mum and not allowing his dad to sway him he replied, “You’ll be ok dad, men like you always are. Its mum I’m more concerned about.” “What do you mean ‘men like me’?” “Oh come on dad, blokes like you just move onto someone else, no doubt in your case it’ll be a girl like that Lydia!” Taking offence Tony snapped, “I’m fucking sick of telling everyone that’s finished, she meant nothing to me!” “Really dad; then why did you sleep with her?” At that moment he noticed his dad went quiet, so he repeated himself and said, “Why dad?” Taking his time before answering he said, “I’ve asked myself that question a thousand times today; the only explanation I have is that she wanted me.” Angry with his dad’s reply he sarcastically said, “Well that’s great dad, so whenever a woman wants you, you’ll just jump into bed with them without as much as a second thought for mum?” “No I didn’t mean it like that, I knew you wouldn’t understand.” “Try me dad, I’m dying to know.” “Don’t take that fucking tone with me Carlo. I was hoping we could have a civilised conve
rsation, but if you can’t handle that then we’ll just fucking forget it!” “Ok I’m listening, but don’t say anything bad about mum, because I won’t have it!” “I love your mum son, and I don’t want what I’m going to say sound like an excuse, because its not. When I first married your mum, I could have had my pick of the girls, but she was so beautiful. I knew from our first date that I would marry her. Then as the years drifted on, I became more successful and in truth, women basically threw themselves at me. I was rich, good looking, charming and I liked the attention, but then I got older and I knew those women were only interested in what I had and could give them and not who I was. The night I met Lydia she didn’t know anything about me, it wasn’t at one of my clubs or restaurants, and to her I was like every other punter there. I suppose I was flattered, so I asked her out. I never told her anything about me other than I was a business man. We met a couple of times, but I never had any intentions of letting it go anywhere. I knew I had to end it, which I would have done. Then your mum found out and today has been the worst day of my entire fucking life!” Carlo just sat staring at him, before replying, “So is it really over with Lydia dad, or is that just another lie?” “Its over, I’ll never hear from her again. Please believe me Carlo, I love your mum, I never wanted to hurt her. I just took it for granted she would always be there. Then I realised she has a different life now you’re all grown up and she could find someone else, it started to eat at me. I should never have questioned her loyalty; I know she didn’t deserve that.” “Is that why you hit her dad?” Holding his face in his hands, he looked ashamed as he replied, “Yes.” “That’s probably the most honest you’ve been, I’m not sure if mum really wants you to leave, but she thinks you’ll still want someone else.” At that moment Tony felt a sense of relief, quickly he asked, “What did she say Carlo, please I need to know. I promise if we work this out I’ll never treat her badly again.” Convinced his dad meant what he said, Carlo replied, “She told us she still loves you dad, she even defended you and tried to tell us that it was her fault. If you want the truth, I told her to make you leave. I can’t bear the way you treat her, but I know she’s terrified about going to the hospital and I’m not sure if she can cope with all this extra stress.” “Please Carlo give me the time to talk to her. I give you my word if she still wants me to leave after that I will.” “I’ll take the kids to school tomorrow dad, I‘ll stay out for a few hours. I’ll go and see gran.”
Standing up Tony walked towards him then unexpectedly hugged him as he said “Thanks son.” Reciprocating the hug, Carlo replied, “Just promise me dad you won’t lose your temper if she says no.” “I promise.” Father and son talked for another hour before retiring to bed. Carlo waited on the landing until his dad went into the spare room.
Tony was very quiet as the family ate breakfast and he couldn’t help noticing that Belle looked pale and unwell. When Carlo left with the children, Tony offered to help her clear the breakfast things. In a quiet soft voice and unable to give him eye contact she replied, “No, its ok thanks, I can manage.” Watching as she cleared the table he so wanted to put his arms around her and beg her forgiveness, but he knew that if he attempted that she would back away. Patiently he waited until she finished then said, “Fancy a coffee babe?” Shaking her head she replied, “No thanks I’m going to church this morning, I’ve got to get ready.” Desperate for her to stay and talk he said, “Thanks for letting me stay last night Belle, I know it was hard for you.” His heart sank when she replied, “That’s ok Tony, but it’s only a temporary arrangement. I think its best for everyone if you leave sooner rather than later.” “I don’t want to go Belle; I’m so sorry about everything babe.” Near to tears she said, “Lets not have this conversation again Tony, Carlo will be back in a minute.” Her face showed her surprised, when he replied, “No he won’t, he’s gone to mum’s to give us time together.” Obviously shocked she quickly replied, “Why would he do that, he knows nothing will change.” “I talked to him last night, we sorted some stuff out.” Not allowing herself to get into that type of conversation she replied, “I really hope you and Carlo can be friends again, just because we’re separating you’re still his dad and that will never change.” Sounding desperate he said, “Belle is it really that bad that we can’t work this out?” Feeling exhausted by him she replied, “Please Tony, I’m going now. Try and sort something out by the end of the week.” Standing up he begged her to talk to him. “There’s nothing to talk about Tony. I think we’ve said everything we need to.”
She walked towards the door, expecting that to be an end to it, but he called after her. She could hear in his voice that he was crying as he said, “Please Belle, I’m begging you, please!” Tony had never begged for anything in his life. The mere fact he had then stopped her instantly. Turning to look at him; she felt sad as she said, “There’s no point talking anymore, it’s over Tony.” Her words cut through him like a knife, unable to contain himself a moment longer he broke down. Her heart was breaking as she watched him. Finally she walked over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder she said, “Please stop crying Tony.” Taking her hand he held it tight as he turned and pressed his head into her tummy before throwing his arms around her waist and saying, “Please Belle don’t do this, I love you babe.” Almost at the point of breaking she said, “Tony please, let me go.” Gripping her tighter he cried, “I’m never letting you go Belle, I love you!” Finally in an effort to get him to let her go without an argument she sat down with him still clinging to her. Tenderly she stroked his hair and said, “Please get up Tony.” Several times she said it, until he finally raised his head. Reaching his hand out, he touched her face and said, “You’re so beautiful, why would I ever risk losing you?” Crying she replied, “Because that’s the way you are Tony. Like I said before, I’ve outlived my usefulness and I’m getting old.” “Belle, you know that’s not true, you’re still young and beautiful.”
When she tried to stand up he moved with her, standing facing her he gently put his hand round the back of her neck and held her as he leaned forward to kiss her. Trembling she said tearfully, “Tony, please don’t do this.” Ignoring her, he kissed her passionately on the lips. At first she didn’t respond, so he kept kissing her, his ploy paid off when eventually he felt her pressing her lips on his. Stopping momentarily he looked at her and said, “Please babe, lets try again. I promise I won’t let you down.”
CHAPTER 44
Billy woke up the following morning, momentarily wondering where he was, but then he moved and felt his wound. Slowly lifting his head he looked down the bed surprised to see Jess asleep with her head on his bed. Gently touching her hair she stirred. As he touched her again she lifted her head and smiled at him. “Morning babe, how long you been here?” “All night Billy, I couldn’t leave you here on your own.”
Feeling his lips with his tongue he said, “God I’m thirsty.” Looking round the room he couldn’t see a water jug, so he asked Jess to get him a drink.
Leaving the room she approached a nurse and explained he was thirsty. “I’ll bring him a jug in,” said the nurse. A few minutes later she entered the room carrying the water. Seeing it Billy said, “Thank God I feel as though I’ve been working in the dessert! I could drink a well dry!” Smiling the nurse replied, “That’s because you’ve had anaesthetic, now don’t drink too much it could make you sick.” Joking with her he replied, “Yes mum.” “Cheeky devil, I can see we’re going to have trouble with you!”
The moment she left he grinned at Jess and said, “Do I get a proper kiss then?” When she leaned over the bed, he moved to hold her but flinched as the pain caught him. “I think you should rest Billy,” she said looking concerned. With Billy lying back down, she sat on the chair and held his hand. Grinning he said, “So babe, did they catch the nutter?” Knowing he was referring to Hilary she nodded and said, “Yes, what happened Billy?” He told her everything that he could remember, and then added, “I hope they lock the bitch up and throw
away the fucking key!” Tearfully she nodded. Realising she was upset he grinned and said, “Hey babe, don’t cry, she can’t hurt us now.” Laying her head on his hand and holding it against her face she replied, “Its not that, I was so afraid you were dead!” Stroking her hair with his other hand he said, “Silly girl, now why would I die and leave you, the thought never entered my head.”
They talked about Hilary and what might happen to her. Then Jess told him how good Mickey had been about everything. Grinning he said, “Yeah I think we should have them as God parents to our kids. No doubt about it, they’re good people.” Lifting her head she said, “Kids!” “Yeah, I told you babe I want lots, maybe next year when Becky’s two, we’ll have another one, what do you reckon?” Readily she smiled and nodded.
Jess was surprised when later that morning Maria knocked on Billy’s door and walked in. “What are you doing here?” said Jess. “Well you didn’t think I’d let you keep him all to yourself did you,” joked Maria as she walked over and kissed his cheek, “All the women at my house are getting withdrawal symptoms, especially Becky.” They all laughed. Jess said, “Is Becky ok, I expect she wonders where I am?” Grinning Maria replied, “Actually between Mickey, his mum and dad, I don’t think she’s had time to miss you. She just fits right in at our place and she’s such a little poppet.” “I’m so glad she hasn’t given you any trouble. Would it be alright if I came home with you, only I want a shower and have something to eat.” Before Maria could reply Billy said, “She hasn’t eaten anything all day. I told her to have something but she wouldn’t, even when they brought my lunch round she wouldn’t eat any of it. Mind you there was barely enough to feed Becky let alone me!” Maria laughed and said, “Actually Jamie and Justin are popping in to see you Billy, so I’ll take her home, she’ll be back later.” Jess smiled and replied, “I can’t expect you to have Becky again.” “Why not, she’s no trouble I’ll get Mickey to bring you back, I know he wants to see Billy and then he’ll come back to pick you up later.” “Thanks Maria I’d be really grateful, if you’re sure he won’t mind?” Billy said, “Once we’re living together I’m going to teach Jess to drive.” Excited at the prospect, she kissed him quickly on the lips and said, “Really? I’ve always wanted to learn, but never thought I’d be able to?”