by The Awethors
Midge sighed. “Our CEO. Didn’t you learn anything from the orientation video?”
“Do you want me to be hon—”
“Shhhh! Don’t ruin this for me. He’s about to speak and it’s going to be amazing.”
Phil waited for the clapping to stop, cleared his throat, and stared at the floor.
“Yes, well, this is going to be even more awkward after that standing ovation, but I’ll cut to the chase.” He pulled a notecard from his pocket and read: “Employees of CinnaFun Packing Warehouse 17, it is with sadness I inform you that after years of legal battles, PLOP has won its lawsuit against CinnaFun Scented Pinecones Incorporated.”
“What’s PLOP?” Parker asked Midge amidst a chorus of boos.
“Pregnant Ladies Opposing Pungency.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. Please, Parker, just be quiet. He’s about to speak again.”
“Effectively immediately,” Phil continued, “the FDA has issued a recall of all CinnaFun pinecones. They have been labeled ‘Unsuitable for public exposure: prone to induce a gag reflex’. As I speak, our pinecones are being pulled from every store shelf in America. Unfortunately, this means CinnaFun can no longer provide employment to any employees of this warehouse. Now, are there any questions?”
Midge’s hand shot into the air. “What are we supposed to do now, Mr. Tarkington?”
“Go home.”
“That’s it? Twenty-three years with this company and that’s all you have to say?”
“What more do you want? I fought the PLOP and the PLOP won.”
December 7
That’s a Wrap Kiosk in the Brookside Mall
Vince, proprietor of the gift wrapping kiosk in the prime mall location between the stand of cute animal calendars and the escalators, pointed to a bin of presents.
“There’s nothing to deliveries, Parker. They can even be fun. Yesterday I delivered a package to the mayor’s mansion.”
“Did they give you a tip?”
“No. I left them a nice note and everything, the lousy cheapskates. Hey, I gotta go make a map of Hawaii but when I get back I’ll set you up with your first job.”
“Make a map of Hawaii?”
“Go to the bathroom. Think about it.” Vince laughed as he walked away.
While Parker thought about it he watched the people around him. A middle-aged man in a pinstripe suit stepped off the escalator. He was flanked by three police officers, one with a German shepherd on a leash.
“There!” The man pointed at Parker’s kiosk and marched towards it.
Parker recognized the man immediately, smiled and extended his hand. “Hello, Mayor Grant, it’s a pleas—”
“Are you Vince?” the mayor asked, not bothering to shake Parker’s hand.
“Nope. Vince is my boss.”
“Where is he? I need to talk to him. Now.”
“Last I knew, he was making a map of Hawaii. Why? What’s your problem?”
“My Problem? My Problem?!” The mayor lowered his voice when he noticed people staring at him. “For your information, I’m not the one with the problem. Vince is. Yesterday, one of my aides dropped off a couple of presents here for delivery—one for my wife’s birthday and one for Christmas. Imagine my horror when my wife opened up a diamond tennis bracelet engraved with, To: Jenna, all my love.”
“How’s that a problem?”
“Jenna’s my secretary.”
“Oh. Wow.” Parker shook his head. “I see the problem, but it’s kind of cliché too, don’t you think?”
“What? A guy buying a lady jewelry for Christmas?”
“No.” Parker grinned. “A politician having a fling with his secretary.”
“You think this is funny? We’ll see how funny it is when I shut this place down and the cops arrest your buddy Vince.”
“For what? Mixing up a delivery isn’t a crime.”
“No, but possession of an illegal substance is. Let’s just say Vince isn’t the only one who can deliver a package to the wrong place.” The mayor turned to the officer with the dog. “Let him loose.”
Once unleashed, the dog ran right to a drawer in the kiosk and started pawing it.
“Harold!”
The mayor turned and flinched as a woman approached him, her stilettos clacking against the hard floor.
“Jenna, what are you doing here?”
“I’m just stopping by to return the stupid present you sent me yesterday.” Jenna tore open a jumbo-sized bag of CinnaFun pinecones and started pelting the mayor with them. “We’re done, Harold. Since this is all I mean to you I’m not going to be wasting my time with you anymore.”
A tap on Parker’s shoulder made him jump.
“What’s going on?” Vince whispered.
“Ask the mayor,” Parker said. “I’m out of here.”
December 8
We Tree Kings Christmas tree lot
“So all you gotta do is talk people into buying the biggest tree you can. Got that, kid?”
“Sure thing, Doug,” Parker said.
“Good. Follow me. That guy over there with the Santa hat and snowflake sweater standing by his son is going to be a huge sale.”
“How do you know?”
“Trust me. He’s got the look.”
“How are you two doing tonight? Help you find anything?”
The man in the Santa hat winked at his son. “Well, we aren’t just looking for any old thing, right, Jackson? We’re after something magical.”
Jackson rolled his eyes. “Dad, I’m not a kid anymore. I’m twelve.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re too old to have fun. Gentlemen, I need something that will really—” he grinned and nudged his son “—spruce up my family room.”
Jackson groaned. “I’ll be in the car.”
“Kids, these days,” Doug said. “Nice sweater, by the way. Now, let’s talk trees—what in the world?”
“Christmas Carolers?” asked Parker.
“Those ain’t carolers,” Doug said as a crowd descended upon the We Tree King’s entrance. “Listen to their song.”
Refrains of “All we are saying is give trees a chance” were clearly distinguishable. So were handmade signs which read: FIR IS MURDER.
A short lady in a faded brown pantsuit, wielding a bullhorn, stepped forward. “We represent FETA and are here to give these trees a voice.”
“FETA?” Parker said.
“Friends for the Ethical Treatment of Arbors. It’s not my fault the good acronyms are already taken. Our cause is simp—Hey! What are you doing?” Parker followed the bullhorn lady’s gaze to a man who’d left the crowd and was reaching for a branch on one of the pine trees in the lot.
“Handcuffing myself to this tree, ma’am.”
“Why?”
“To save it. You know, for the cause.”
“It’s already been cut down, you imbecile.” Putting the bullhorn down, she muttered, “They warned me about posting open-ended event invitations on social media, but no, I wouldn’t listen.”
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” Doug said.
“You can’t,” the bullhorn lady said, “We’re on public property and this is a peace—”
“Incoming!”
A flaming CinnaFun pinecone sailed over everyone’s heads and into a forest of nearly dead evergreens brimming with dry needles, otherwise known as the We Tree Kings clearance section.
“That’s it! I quit!” The bullhorn lady shook her head as trees began to ignite. “Who brings a Molotov cocktail to a peaceful demonstration at a Christmas Tree farm?”
December 14
Burger Wizard
“Welcome to Burger Wizard. My name is Parker. Can I enchant you with a Festivus Peppermint Smoothie or an all-natural Winterblast Booster?”
“What’s in the Winterblast Booster?”
“Finely ground CinnaFun pinecones that no longer have to follow any FDA standards b
ecause they’ve been rebranded as cinnamon supplements.”
“You’re joking, right?”
“If only.”
An Afterword
This compilation is the “Light” December Awethology. The “Dark” Awethology, featuring the darker side of the Awethors and stories not suitable for those of a nervous disposition is also available. You can find the December Awethology, Dark Volume available for download from most good retailers now. You can also find work from all of our Awethors, information about our group and other publications here:
www.awethors.com
Biographies
Anita Kovacevic
Anita Kovacevic is an author and teacher of English, who draws inspiration from her family, friends and students. She writes various genres, and has self-published two children’s books (Winky’s Colours and The Good Pirate), and an urban-legend novella (The Threshold).
As a member of an international teaching community, she has also participated in a worldwide anti-bullying charity e-book Inner Giant with her short stories, poems and illustrations. She has recently participated in the #Awethors’ Awethology Light as proofreader, and as a contributing author with her story Passage.
On her blog, you can read her interviews with other indie authors, as well as book reviews, free stories, poetry and essays. She loves reading, writing songs, creative hobbies, and using anything and everything for a story, a lesson or teachers’ workshops.
Anita lives with her husband and two children in Croatia and doesn’t know the meaning of ‘free time’.
https://anitashaven.wordpress.com/
Kelly Hall
Kelly Hall was born and raised in Southeast Texas, and lives in a small town just a stone’s throw from the ghost road where her Light Keeper series is based.
When she’s not busy writing, or spending time with her husband and two sons, this self-proclaimed creative junkie dabbles in many different forms of art, including cake decorating and mixed media.
www.authorkellyhall.com/
J B Taylor
J B Taylor lives in Indiana with his three dogs. He’s loved reading his whole life and one day decided he would join the ranks of the many authors in the world by writing his own story. Now he has several short stories out, all of which have been made into audiobooks. He’s currently working on a few projects that he hopes to add to his collection of published works.
anauthorsblogspot.wordpress.com
Anna Lea
Anna Lea writes children’s books because she loves children and remains a child at heart. She also loves cats, dogs, monkeys and apes, elephants, horses, big cats, and wolves.
Anna has always loved mystical things too, such as dragons and unicorns and faeries. She also loves science fiction. She has a vivid imagination and loves to share through her stories.
A Faery Merry Christmas is her second publication.
Pamela Joyce Silva
Pamela was born into and grew up in America’s working class. She was born in Durant, Oklahoma and relocated to Dallas, Texas as a baby.
She only had two loves in her life the entire time she was growing up: books and animals. She does love music and art and anything nature, plus added children later to that deep love. She always had books in her room, in her hand, and stories, her own, in her head. She was heavily influenced by the books that she read, as are we all.
Pamela read everything and anything she could get her hands on. She read many fictional books, of course, all of the usual children’s classics, boys and girls, and just as many non-fiction. And as children, her sister and she entertained themselves by telling themselves their own bedtime stories, especially when life was hard. As she grew older, she started writing them down on paper and she never stopped.
Today, she could not imagine not being able to write the wonderful visions she has in her head even if they would let her. She hopes they never go away and leave her without them!
Chrissy Moon
Chrissy Moon considers both Los Angeles, California and Seattle, Washington her home.
Her days are mostly spent caring for her sons, complaining about bad drivers, drinking espresso, watching her favorite TV shows on DVD, and reading up on history.
Originally a poet from childhood through her teens and 20’s, she began writing fiction in 2011.
Since she has little focus, she has and will continue to produce fiction of all sorts.
www.chrissymoon.com
Markie Madden
Markie Madden was born August 19, 1975, in Midland, Texas. She grew up in the small town of Flushing, Michigan. While in high school, she took creative writing and was a photographer for the school newspaper. She began writing her first novel, Once Upon a Western Way, while still attending school.
Currently, Markie lives in the small town of Fisk, Missouri, with her family, her dogs, and her horse. She is working on a crime/paranormal series called The Undead Unit Series. Book one of the series, Fang and Claw, is now available. The second book of the series, Souls of the Reaper, is expected out in March 2016.
www.metamorphpublishing.com
Neil Newton
Born and raised in Bayside, NY Neil was telling stories almost as soon as he could talk. Along with his love of music, he developed a talent for writing prose and song lyrics.
His first book, ‘The Railroad,’ contains scenes that parallel his own experiences on 9/11 in the subway in New York.
www.neildouglasnewton.com
J C Christian
J C Christian lives with her husband David in the rolling green fields of Nebraska located in the Midwestern region of the United States. J C began writing short stories as a child and through the years has earned the acclaim of many people who have read her work.
In her senior year in college, J C was selected to be part of an Honor’s Composition program exclusively reserved for students considered to be the most talented writers in the university. In addition to her passion for writing, J C is a passionate advocate for survivors of childhood trauma. At this writing, J C’s debut novel ‘Reaching for the Light: An Incest Survivor’s Story,’ is soon to be released from Plaisted Publishing House Ltd, New Zealand.
I Remember, Grandpa tells the story of the prophetic gift of love J C received from her much beloved grandfather and is lovingly dedicated to his memory.
https://writer1129.blogspot.co.nz/
Sharon Lipman
A huge fan of the anything fae and paranormal, or something with a hint of urban legend to it, Sharon Lipman loves to put her own spin on the origins of well-known mythological creatures. She started writing in her teens, but it wasn’t until she was in her thirties that she found a story she was desperate to share. Her debut novel, a paranormal romance, was published in 2015.
She was born in west London and grew up in leafy Surrey in south-east England. A lover of all things British, except the weather, she now lives in the province of Almeria, southern Spain with her husband and an ever growing collection of dogs.
www.sharonlipman.com
Natasha Madden
Natasha Madden was born May 23, 1995, in Flint, Michigan. She was taught a love of all animals from a young age. When she was eight years old, her family moved to Odessa, Texas.
She wrote her first book when she was in the fifth grade, The Guardians, a book she is currently in the process of rewriting. When she was sixteen, they moved to a small farming community in southeast Missouri. She graduated in 2013 from Twin Rivers High School in Broseley, Missouri. She still lives there with her family, three dogs, a cat, two gerbils, and a horse, and has plans to attend veterinary school. She’s currently working with Metamorph Publishing in order to get her first novel published.
www.metamorphpublishing.com
Chris S Hayes
Chris S Hayes is a life-long reader of classic science fiction and romance. She works as a college health physician in Lafayette, Louisiana, where she lives with her wonderful husband, a
very talented teenage daughter, and a skittish cat.
She’s the author of the novel Sikkiyn, an exciting scifi romance/space opera which takes place in the same universe as her story in this volume, and is working on her second novel now, a sequel to be entitled Farspeaker.
www.chrisshayes.com
Stewart Bint
Stewart Bint is a novelist, magazine columnist and PR writer. Previous roles include radio newsreader, presenter and phone-in show host.
He lives with his wife Sue in Leicestershire in the UK, and has two grown-up children. As a member of a local barefoot hiking group, when not writing he can often be found hiking in bare feet on woodland trails.
Back catalogue includes three novels, a collection of short stories, two novellas, a compilation of his early magazine columns, and contributions to two anthologies, including the Awethors’ Awethology Dark.
stewartbintauthor.weebly.com
K M Robinson
K M Robinson is a Fine Arts and Glamour Photographer. She also runs Reading Transforms, a website dedicated to her book inspired a photo series and resource center for book bloggers.
She has also been in marketing and branding for thirteen years. She could happily live on the equator. Her time is spent creating new worlds through her photography, writing and couture design.
www.kmrobinsonphotography.com
Karen J Mossman
Karen J Mossman lives in Manchester at present but next year she will be a resident of Wales when her husband retires. She only starting writing for publication in 2013 and since then has three short stories anthologies. The Missing, Behind the Music and Heroes.
Her first novel, Star Struck is set in 1980s Manchester. Her second novel, The Secret is due out shortly and it is set in 70s Manchester.
Karen comes from a family of journalists, but none of them have been interested in fiction writing. Karen has previously taken part in Awethology Dark, a collection of ‘dark’ short stories by ‘The Awethors’.