‘This is something to build on,’ he said huskily, hours later. ‘I can support you, Rosanna. You can trust me.’
And when he gazed down at her, the epitome of beauty in the world around him shone and she couldn’t think beyond him any more.
‘Just marry me,’ he tempted. ‘You know we can make this work.’
That was the thing, it didn’t feel like work at all. He offered her a perfect, problem-free paradise. That rough stubble on his face, the tan on his skin, the smile in his eyes, the damn dimple... He made everything seem so easy, tempting her with the promise of happiness and laughter. The off-beat pulse of panic in her blood was drowned by the heat he stirred within her and Rosanna ignored the warning strike against her ribcage.
‘Yes.’
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
A FEW DAYS slid by in a mixture of laziness and activity. They snorkelled on the reef entranced by turtles, corals and fish, walked along the sand, boated to cays and other islands. Laughed about little things. He shared in her delight in finding beauty on the reef. It had been the perfect place to bring her. And each afternoon he took her back to bed after lunch, so through the hottest point of the day he was shrouded with her beneath billowing cool cotton sheets. Until there wasn’t a part of her he hadn’t touched and tasted ten times over.
It still wasn’t enough. He was still hungry for her. He’d made a point of indulging her in every act of intimacy, teaching her just how sensitive some parts of her body could be, showing her how the peak of pleasure, a white-hot orgasm, could be achieved in a myriad ways. Then sustained. Then achieved again. Yet still there was more. There was a depth to this connection between them—a profound intimacy in the way she straddled his lap and held him locked tight into her body. He teased her, talking to her, delighting in making her unable to answer coherently. Breathless and hot and restless and so playful—teasing her, pleasuring her, making her ignite. He adored the way she flushed and responded and flipped it all against him. And still he felt a near constant ache for her.
He should be fast asleep. He’d already got the win, he should be enjoying the winner’s spoils. She was going to marry him. There was nothing to worry about. But here he was, lying awake since the middle of the night until dawn. Overthinking. And for once it wasn’t about work. It should be. He’d been out of touch for days. But instead he was worried about Rosanna’s agreement. Oddly he now felt her arguments against marriage as a warning he’d not heeded. The responsibility of her happiness haunted him. He wasn’t sure he could shoulder it. Here—on holiday—it was easy enough. But ordinarily he wasn’t on holiday. He worked. He needed to work. His employees depended on him and it was the only thing he’d done for so long. The only thing he really knew how to do. What made him ever think he could be a husband and father? He killed houseplants. He’d never had pets. His children deserved a better parent than he’d ever be. Rosanna deserved a better partner.
He got up, pacing through to the lounge to grab a cool drink and clear his head.
He didn’t discuss his father with anyone. Not even Ash. But he’d found himself wanting to explain to Rosanna that he’d never wanted to be the lying cheat Hugh Castle had been. To never take advantage of women—or anyone—in that way or any other. His father had been a controlling, unrelenting bastard. Leo wanted to be better than that and wanted her to know that she could trust him.
Which meant he needed to fix things with her parents. They’d wanted her to make a match with Ash Castle all those years ago and now they had to deal with him, the man who’d cancelled their company’s contracts. But for Rosanna’s peace of mind he was compelled to take action. He could send a message from his watch. She’d never know and if she did she wouldn’t mind. He didn’t want her experiencing any of the bitterness he’d felt with his father’s rejection and no further pressure of difficulties with her parents. That didn’t mean he’d forgiven them. There’d be rules and he’d make it clear they weren’t to upset or pressure Rosanna in any way. It only took a moment to message his assistant but as he returned his watch to the safe he knocked Rosanna’s phone. The screen lit up and he saw there were a number of missed notifications. The most recent message was displayed in full.
Ro, crisis at the flat. There’s been a flood. Where are you? Call urgently.
The implications took a second to sink in. Then anxiety spiked. All her belongings—her plants, notebooks, weird fish...
He glanced in the doorway to their bedroom. She was fast asleep but he knew she’d worry. He could find out more about the situation first before telling her.
Quietly he walked to the office of the private resort, glad the sun was rising and it wasn’t too shockingly early to phone people; glad he had something concrete to focus his worry on. Because there was an unusual amount of anxiety building within—rendering him unable to rest, unable to be easy and just enjoy this. It was stupid—hadn’t he achieved exactly what he’d wanted?
She’d said yes. To marriage.
Only he wasn’t sure it was right. Now he questioned whether pushing the proposal had been wise. Having her so close beside him for so long—for ever? Suddenly he felt keenly aware that she was precious—fragile really. And he didn’t want to crush her. He didn’t want to screw this up.
He stabbed the buttons on the office phone—avoiding the damned inner anxiety by focusing on her real issue. It turned out a water pipe had burst in the flat above her and leaked through and everything was sodden. He thought again of the things she’d put so much effort into. She didn’t need the heartache of sorting this out. He could get the clean-up under way and she could have another day without knowing until the worst had been fixed up. He’d get professionals in and it could be sorted by the time they returned. He’d save her all that stress.
* * *
‘You’re very serious this morning.’ Rosanna smiled as they returned to the villa after a couple hours out on a double kayak.
He’d been wondering how the clean-up was going. Was itching to put in a call to check. And he realised he didn’t want to lie to her. ‘There was a flood at your flat,’ he muttered.
Her eyes widened. ‘What?’
‘The unit upstairs had a burst pipe. The occupant was away for the weekend as well, so no one noticed until it started coming out of your front door.’
‘What?’ A frown crashed on her brows. ‘How do you know?’ She folded her arms and glared at him. ‘So you’ve been using your phone.’
‘No, that’s wrecked from the water. I saw the message on yours when I went to get my watch from the safe.’
‘When was that?’
‘Early this morning.’ He saw she wasn’t happy and tried to explain more. ‘You were fast asleep. It was easy to arrange a clean-up.’
‘That’s why you’ve been distracted.’ Her frown didn’t lessen. ‘When were you going to tell me?’
He didn’t know. ‘You don’t need stress at the moment. You’ve got enough on.’
‘So you thought you’d fix it?’
‘That seemed...like an idea.’ He watched her warily because now she stomped inside the villa.
She whirled on the top step to face him. ‘Is this what it’s going to be like?’
His defensiveness rose. Like what? ‘I just thought—’
‘That you knew what was best for me.’ She glared down at him. ‘That you could make decisions on my behalf. For what was best for you.’
‘Not for me. I did it for you.’
‘Really? I don’t need you to do that. I’m not incompetent. Or incapable. Or that useless.’
‘I thought I was doing something helpful.’ He’d been concerned for her welfare. For the health of the babies. Was that so awful of him?
‘What did you think might happen if you told me before you fixed it?’
‘I don’t know,’ he growled. ‘You’ve been tired. I just...’
‘Do you really think I’m that fragile?’ She paused, something flickering in her eyes. ‘You said I was strong.’
And she was. He’d just wanted to shelter her from unnecessary stress. He’d wanted to fix it for her.
‘I’m not just another thing you’re responsible for, Leo,’ she said when he didn’t respond. ‘I need you to include me, not decide things unilaterally.’
‘That wasn’t what I intended.’ He growled. ‘I wanted to protect you.’
She paused. ‘Why?’ She came down from the top step so she stood eye to eye with him. ‘From what?’
‘I don’t know,’ he snapped. ‘But you’re vulnerable.’
‘I’m pregnant, not incapacitated.’
And he’d never felt as frustrated. ‘Look, I’m sorry but I can’t risk—’ He rubbed his forehead and smothered a growl. ‘Life is precious, Rosanna. I’ve failed before. I can’t do it again.’
‘Failed in what way?’
He froze.
‘Failed who, Leo?’
He stared at her. The anger was gone from her face—the flash flood of colour had receded and left her paler than usual.
‘Leo?’
She was strong and fierce and honest and he realised she needed to know what she was getting into. She needed to know that the man she was marrying was never going to be the kind of husband she should have. It was only fair that she understood his limitations so he wouldn’t let her down like this again because she’d know what to expect.
‘I failed my mother. More than once. Really badly.’
Rosanna’s eyes widened in her pale face and in the sunlight her gold hair glinted and suddenly he was tired of feeling frustrated. Somehow he felt compelled to confess everything to her—as if she really were the beautiful angel she resembled.
‘You know Hugh never wanted me,’ he muttered, needing her to understand just how desperate things had been. ‘He tried to bully her into getting rid of me, but she wouldn’t and once I was born he refused to acknowledge I was his son. She tried to manage on her own but she needed help. When she asked him for just a little support he threatened to call social services on her for neglect of me. He didn’t want me, but if she didn’t toe the line, he’d make sure she didn’t get to keep me either.’
‘What?’ Rosanna looked shocked.
‘Yeah,’ he muttered. ‘That much of a monster. He wanted us out of his life for good. He was the ultimate in selfish.’
‘Your poor mother.’
She didn’t know the half of it. ‘He actually paid off other guys to say they’d been with her.’ Leo watched the distress in Rosanna’s eyes build but he couldn’t stop himself telling her the truth of how awful it had been. ‘He spread the rumour that she was easy and that I could be anyone’s bastard. And of course he refused to do a DNA test his whole life.’ Leo growled. ‘My mother gave up. She didn’t have the funds or the energy to fight him in court. Nor did I until much later. But the things he’d said caused a rift with her family. They believed him over her.’
‘Leo, that’s awful.’
They’d both been unwanted then and his outrage still burned. ‘He made everyone believe she was a liar. But she worked so hard. It was the two of us against the world. She didn’t resent me. I mean, she had every right to but she...’ He trailed off, remembering how they’d had nothing but each other. ‘She would’ve done anything for me and she did. I cost her everything she had. In the end, even her life.’
‘How?’ Rosanna asked softly with a shake of her head.
She didn’t believe him. So pretty. So trusting in the best of him. He didn’t want that burden any more. He didn’t want to crush her when he fell from that pedestal.
‘I worked part-time jobs from the age of nine after Hugh had rejected us again.’ That was when he’d understood the reality of his mother’s struggle. ‘Anything to help her out. She always had two or three jobs on the go but even then we were broke all the time.’ He sighed. ‘In my teens when I was stronger I worked in a cool store. One night I decided to miss a shift at work. Just to have a night out with a couple of mates.’
He’d been working for years and had been tempted to a blowout. It hadn’t seemed like a big deal at the time, just one night off after a hard week.
‘But my boss phoned my mum, trying to track me down. There’d been an unusually large delivery that night and it needed sorting. Mum had only just finished her previous shift but my boss was angry and told her he’d fire me if I didn’t come in.’ He bowed his head. ‘But I didn’t answer my phone to either Mum or my boss. I was a stupid jerk. So Mum went in. She worked the shift for me. But she’d had a cough and working in that cool store for eight hours, being so run-down already, made it worse.’ He couldn’t look at Rosanna now. ‘It only took a couple of days. The cough went to her lungs. She said she’d be fine. But she wasn’t. Pneumonia.’
And he’d never missed a day of work since. Not until he’d taken Rosanna to Great Barrier Reef this week. And that had been work too, right? Of a different kind.
‘It wasn’t your fault.’ Rosanna put a gentle hand on his shoulder.
‘Of course it was,’ he argued, stiffening beneath her touch. ‘If I hadn’t been selfish and lazy... She worked so hard for me and I let her down.’ He hated himself for it. The feeling of helplessness had been absolute. Now the final humiliation spilled from him like poison. ‘When it was evident how unwell she was, I went to Hugh Castle one last time.’
He’d wanted to transfer her to another hospital. Fight for second opinions. Anything that might’ve helped her. Even though he’d known it was too late by then. But he’d been desperate to try anything. ‘I actually cried. I begged him for help.’
‘And he wouldn’t.’
Leo had failed. He’d been determined it would never happen again—he’d never allow himself to return to that utterly vulnerable, helpless position of losing someone he loved, of being unable to help them. It was easy enough when he kept people at a distance. Only now a wave of panic burned in his gut—because he had Rosanna and two children to be responsible for. His breathing quickened and he grasped at what had happened next—distracting himself by telling her the last.
‘A year or so later Ash found me. He’d heard rumours and he was rebellious and bitter. He offered up some DNA to do a test. We’d see if we were related and that would be the proof I needed to prove Hugh’s paternity.’
‘He was angry with your father too?’
‘Yeah. Maybe I’m lucky Hugh Castle didn’t have the influence on my life the way he did with Ash.’
‘But you took his name.’
‘Away from him. Because it was the last thing he wanted to give me. So yes, I took it.’
He’d taken everything that old man had never wanted him to have. His name. His company. His whole life’s work. ‘And now I have his company. He knows—I told him my plans before he died. Ash invited me to see him and backed me fully. Fool that I am, I went. Thinking that perhaps on his damned deathbed he might finally be honest about who he was and what he’d done. That he might feel an inkling of remorse.’
‘But he didn’t.’
He’d taken pleasure in the man’s impotent rage. He’d taken pleasure in making himself more successful than his cheating, denying father had ever been. The old man hadn’t been able to do a thing to stop him.
‘I’ve asked myself my whole life what was wrong with him. I’ve never figured out an answer that made any sense other than that he was just mean. That he liked to be in control and hold power over people. I won’t be anything like him. Ever.’
Which meant he couldn’t let Rosanna down or their babies down. But family wasn’t something he’d ever wanted. It cost too much and he didn’t know how to keep it safe or successful. He far preferred work, the challenge of making that a success—getting tangible results was something he could do well.
‘My original surname was meaningless,’ he muttered distractedly. ‘Her family didn’t support her, didn’t believe her. So she left. She called me Leonardo after Da Vinci because she liked his sculptures. It’s as good a reason as any. And I took Castle because it’s a permanent reminder to everyone who wouldn’t believe her that she was right. It’s the only way I can honour her now.’ He hated that she’d died before the truth had been proven. ‘Because it’s my fault she passed away when she did.’
‘No.’ Rosanna gazed into his eyes with such compassion he couldn’t stand it.
‘Her illness wasn’t your fault,’ she said. ‘It was only one night—’
‘When she was tired already,’ he interrupted harshly. ‘When she’d not been eating well because she’d been giving me most of what we had because I wouldn’t stop growing. When she hadn’t had enough sleep in years. When her asthma was aggravated by the damp house we lived in because we couldn’t afford decent heating. That was all because of me. Because she had to make do with less to give me more.’
It was entirely because of him that it happened.
‘And I bet you were the light of her life,’ Rosanna said simply. ‘She loved you. She wanted you. She fought to have you and keep you. And, yes, she did anything she could for you. That’s what love is. It’s awful what happened to her—but that lack of support was on her family, on your father. The other adults in her life. Not you.’
* * *
Rosanna watched the emotions flicker across Leo’s face until he turned away from her. No wonder marriage and children weren’t on his to-do list. The man had been so hurt—by a father who’d repeatedly refused to acknowledge him and then by the loss of his beloved mother, who’d sacrificed everything to have him. And he blamed himself fully for her death. There’d been no in-betweens. It had been so extreme for him.
Nine Months to Claim Her Page 14