Trust Me, Trust Me Not (Gavert City Book 3)

by Elodie Nowodazkij

  If the fire has started and she’s there, I’ll see it. I’m almost out of the door before he finishes speaking, my phone to my ear.

  When the 911 operator picks up, words tumble out of my mouth. “I’m Hunter Harrington. Located in the old compound. There’s a fire and Lacey Simon is inside the house. Please bring someone as fast as possible.” And then my heart drops. “I can see the fire. It’s a house north of the new development.” I fumble to open Branson’s truck. But once I do, I jump in and turn on the engine. I hit the pedal to the floor, sliding as I make a turn. Some of the roads are not entirely finished. There’s a kid on a bike staring at my truck. I don’t have time to stop. I rush. I force myself to think as if I were on a job—not wondering if the woman I love is about to die.

  I’M CLOSE. SO CLOSE.

  The sirens are still too far away but they’re louder. “I can hear them. Tell them I’m going to try to get in.” And I hang up before they try to dissuade me. They’re almost there but what if we’re too fucking late?

  My hands tighten around the steering wheel and I slide on the road as I swerve right. I force myself to slow down. Only a few miles per hour less. I need to get there.

  Smoke is in the air but there’s no one around. Around to call 911 for her. Around to tell her it’s going to be okay.

  She’s probably scared. She might be frozen by fear—like she was at the barn.

  Please, don’t be frozen. I’ll be there.

  The neighborhood in construction reminds me of a ghost town I visited as a kid. Abandoned houses waiting to be finished. He said he left her in one almost done. But the smoke would have been a tell anyways.

  There are flames in the distance licking the soon-to-be windows on one side of the house.

  I slam the breaks and jump out, rushing to the front door.

  “Lacey! Lacey!” I call her name—my instincts kick in and I analyze every port of entry and possible trajectory. The windows on the second floor... fuck...that bastard probably put her in the same situation. She’s going to have to jump.

  My heart hammers. What if she can’t?

  She was frozen before. “Lacey!” I yell again. Nothing.

  What if I’m too late?

  CHAPTER 38 – LACEY

  I scream and scream and scream, but no one hears me. That kid must be long gone now. Who knows what that kid thought he was doing; setting fire to an empty house? He got money for it. He doesn’t know anyone’s trapped inside.

  I stop screaming. I need to get out of here before it’s too late.

  I can’t. I can’t.

  Whatever he gave me is wearing off but I’m still so tired. So tired.

  I can’t. I can’t.

  Memories swirl in my mind.

  Memories I tried so hard to bury are now clawing their way back up. They’re not slow moving. They’re shooting back up.

  Tears stream down my face. And the pressure in my chest grows.

  Mom being shot. Mellie staying behind with Jeremiah. Mellie encouraging us to go. The way she looked at her sister. The way she glanced back at Jeremiah, who was bleeding on the floor. Did I know that she was going to choose what she did? Did she know?

  I jumped and they didn’t. I jumped and they died.

  And Charlotte. Charlotte and her bright smile. Charlotte who always found a way to make the best out of every hardship. Charlotte who always talked about her dad and how one day she was going to see him again.

  Could I have done something more for them? Charlotte chose to be with her mom on the compound, but she only chose because her mom blackmailed her emotionally. Mellie didn’t have a choice. Kidnapped so young. And then the bond she developed with Jeremiah. Abram orchestrated everything. He controlled everyone.

  The screams. The shot.

  The shot. The screams.

  I can’t. I can’t. My tears turn into sobs. I’m tired. So tired.

  I catch my breath. The fire has started. The smell of smoke isn’t pungent yet. But it will. It will take over my thoughts and my lungs. My therapist would say there’s no category of victims, but I’m alive and they’re not.

  What would they do for another chance? For another try?

  Part of me has been plowing through, thinking about how much they would have liked for their lives to have taken a different turn. There are smiles I smiled because I thought it would honor them to live fully instead of only surviving.

  Think.

  Think, think, think.

  Adrenaline pours in my veins. I’m on the second floor. Again. The windows in the room are not finished yet. My ties aren’t as tight. Moving my hands became a bit easier. There’s no glass around to try to break them.

  The smoke gets thicker and brings me back to that night. Again. How did we manage? How can I manage again? What are the odds?

  I can. I can. I can.

  I break the cycle. I need to break the cycle. I want to live. I want to see the morning sun and smell the wind on my skin. I want to feel Hunter’s arms around me and get him to smile this smile that makes my stomach turn into a lava cake. I want to continue learning. I want to grow old. I want to live every single moment.

  Sometimes wanting might not be enough but damn it, I’ll do everything I can to enjoy those moments.

  The fire is on the other side of the house. It’s not going too fast. He says he used fire propellant. The room I’m in would be the future master bedroom and the people designing it put in a reading alcove with three steps. If I throw myself down, can I break the chair? I roll from one side to another.

  It’s worth a try.

  I find a rhythm and move faster. I propel myself down those three stairs with as much force as I can.

  My head bounces on the floor and I wince. But it worked. The chair’s no longer whole. I can move my legs in such a way that the ties loosen up. The flames are visible from where I am now. They’re sneaking up from downstairs. But the stairs are still viable. I think. I wobble up by coming to my knees first and then leaning on my right foot but pain shoots down my ankle. I change to the other foot. No time to wallow. No time to check what else I may have hurt. I limp away from the room.

  “Lacey!” I hear Hunter’s voice. It gives me another push. I can do this.

  I can do this!

  It’s hot. So hot. And the smoke is everywhere now. I cough. “I’m here! I’m coming!”

  Sirens are getting closer too. A step cracks under me and I plunge down, screaming.

  “Lacey!”

  He shouldn’t come inside. “Don’t! I’m okay!” I have no idea if I’m okay or not but I’m on the ground floor. I can see the entrance. I can’t get up. Crawling, I look down. “I’m coming! Hunter, please stay outside!”

  I slide like the snakes I’m scared of. But it’s working. I’m close.

  And then Hunter pulls me outside. The building crackles and breaks down behind us. He brings me close to him, peppering my hair and face with kisses. “You’re here!” he whispers. “I rushed inside and didn’t know where you were. I thought I lost you.” His voice breaks. “I thought I lost you and I almost died. And then I heard your voice. Your voice saved me.”

  I cough and look up. His face is ashen. One of his eyebrows is partly missing. “You can’t always be the hero.” My laugh turns into a wheeze.

  “You both need to get checked out.” Chief Stan comes closer to us and when I turn around, I realize we have quite a few people watching us. His hand lands on Hunter’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re okay, son.”

  Hunter shakes his head. “She saved me.” He turns to me. “You really did save me.”

  Chief Stan’s lips turn into a smile. “I think she saved you a long time ago.” And he winks at me. “She just didn’t realize it until now. Relationships are all about give and take. And sometimes you get saved in ways you never expected.” He turns to the house and his smile disappears. “You both need to talk to the police; they agreed to see you at the hospital.”

  He steps away and Hunter s
lowly gets up.

  And when he sees I’m struggling, he bends down and slowly picks me up.

  “I thought I lost you.” His breath is warm on my collarbone, sending a tingle down my spine. I tilt my head up, and my lips find his—I kiss him like no one’s watching, ignoring the laughter and the whoops from his colleagues.

  I kiss him like tomorrow was almost taken away from us.

  I kiss him with relief and passion and so much love.

  EPILOGUE - HUNTER

  I can’t believe it’s already May. Time has sped away and every single day reminds me I’m lucky. Lucky to be alive and with Lacey.

  Kaira did have relatives left in Cape Cod, and while her parents didn’t want to hear anything about her, her grandfather came to take her ashes back home. He thanked us for finding her. He said she was a good kid who ended up with the wrong crowd, who got addicted after an accident with no one to help her. But she was turning her life around and had been clean for a few months. She knew that nothing was going to be easy. He didn’t know why she decided to go and see Branson. Maybe her program talked about asking for forgiveness. Her grandfather wanted us to know that she was more than her addiction, that her disease didn’t define her. She loved watching hockey, she loved the sound of the ocean, and she loved reading non-fiction books.

  Branson destroyed so many lives and even his parents’ money can’t bail him out now. He admitted giving Kaira drugs, forcing her to take them. She really did come back to apologize and say goodbye. No one will ever know why she followed him, but it seems she slipped in the pool and drowned. Branson insists he wasn’t with her when that happened. He was flirting with a sorority girl, until I found Kaira in the pool. He’s held me responsible ever since, because he has always refused to hold any responsibility for any of his actions. He still argues that we made him do everything. One expert at his trial made the case that his desire to make me suffer came from displacement. He was obsessed with Kaira and when she died, his obsession fueled his need for revenge.

  Charlotte’s dad’s in jail, this time for conspiracy to murder. And the guy who owned the website where students could find someone to write their papers for them did overdose, like Branson said.

  I always keep J.J.'s letter in mind. Even if it’s not always easy, or always smiling happy times. I am living.

  I finished the paper on the modern adaptation despite already being off the hook. Ms. Jackson enjoyed my view on Juliet, Immortal, the YA book I used to compare with the original Romeo and Juliet. She even said that if I ever needed a letter of recommendation, she will gladly give me one.

  Lacey loves working with kids at the campus daycare. After volunteering for a few months, she got the internship. Elena has more and more overnights at her girlfriend’s, which means we get to sleep in Lacey’s room whenever I’m not at the station. Well, some nights we don’t sleep much. We’re talking about getting a small place together when she’s done with school. She managed to keep her GPA above a 3.0 last fall, and I’m pretty sure she’s going to be on the Dean’s list this year.

  And I’m on track to graduate with my double major next year. After everything. After fucking up freshman year and almost losing everything, I’m almost there.

  But tonight we’re not studying and we’re not staying in. Tonight we’re going to a fundraiser organized by Tessa’s charity. The charity that helps people who either want to get out of cults or need assistance once they’ve left. Her brother, Tessa, and their friends will be there. Her uncle will be there as well. I never thought that man could smile, and he’s laughed quite a bit the last two times we’ve seen him.

  There’s a party in one of the dorms. Students are streaming in and out, holding beers in paper bags, pizzas. And music booms from the first floor.

  Rafael slaps my shoulder. “You really didn’t need to dress up.” He laughs. “But it’s not for me is it? It’s for Lacey.”

  “It is. How is Mads?”

  “She’s good.” He sighs and seems to get lost in his own thoughts, and I wonder if I have the same look when I talk about Lacey. I probably do. “She’s more than good. She’s...”

  “I know.” And I give him one of those half hugs, and pat his back before making my way through the second floor.

  I knock at her door.

  And less than a second later, she opens it—almost out of breath, and definitely breathtaking. Her dress is dark blue and long and as she twirls around, I notice the open back, her smooth skin, and the scars—she’s baring her scars.

  Her hair falls freely on her shoulders, but if I’ve learned anything from almost living with her, it’s that she may have needed quite some time to make it look that natural and sexy.

  “Wow.” That’s pretty much all I can say.

  Her lips turn into a smile and she gets on her tiptoes. Her lips find mine and for a second or two (or maybe a minute), I’m tempted to convince her that we should just stay here. My mouth teases that spot on her neck that makes her arch closer to me. And then I force myself to step back. “We need to go, or we’ll be late.”

  “Hmm-hmm.” Her fingers trail down my jaw. “Right.” She clears her throat. “After all, I have to give that speech.”

  “You’re going to be wonderful.”

  “I do great with a bunch of kids in front of me, but adults? I’m not so sure.”

  I squeeze her hand and we go out from the back, avoiding the party downstairs. She’s pretty silent all the way to the fancy hotel where the fundraiser is taking place.

  We make our way backstage without talking to anyone. The ballroom is big and there are a lot of people. Tessa and Luke join us, holding hands. Tessa pulls Lacey into a hug.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  “I am. I’m okay. I need to do this. It’s a way for people to understand. It’s a way to help.”

  “Where is Uncle John?”

  “I’m right here.” Her uncle enters with some flowers. “I wasn’t quite sure what was appropriate.” He clears his throat. “I’m very proud of you.”

  Lacey shifts from one foot to another and then she rushes to him, wrapping him into a hug, and my chest feels heavier. “We’re going to be okay,” she tells him and he nods.

  Then she turns to me. “Can you stay close to the stage? I want to able to see you.”

  “I’ll be there.” I give her a small kiss on her nose and when Tessa goes on stage to introduce Lacey, I simply hold her hand.

  When it’s time for her to enter, I lean down. “You got this. I love you.”

  “I love you,” she whispers back and when she steps on stage, I glance around, still anxious about something happening to her. Abram is still spewing his lies, but more and more people are leaving the cult, especially since Noah and Eve started being more open about their own experiences.

  She glances my way and from the way she taps her finger to her side, I know how nervous she is. I nod and mouth, “You got this.”

  She turns to the mic. The room is silent. And then she starts speaking.

  “One day, when I was eight-years-old, my mom took me fishing. I’d have done anything for my mother, despite her shortcomings. We didn’t end up fishing that day, but she taught me something I never forgot. She said she loved me. I want to believe she died trying to protect us, but I’ll never know for sure.” Her voice gets steadier as she continues talking. A picture of her and her mom flash on the screen behind her. “What I know is when that picture was taken, she hadn’t met Abram yet. He hadn’t convinced her to give up everything for him. He hadn’t convinced her that beating us was the way to make us understand that his way was the right way. You may wonder how so many people got sucked into it. I can only tell you our story. But it starts with something that everybody can understand: the desire to belong. The desire to be understood and loved.”

  Lacey glances at me again and for a second, there’s no one else around us. All I can see is her...her strength and her kindness, the way she makes me laugh, the way she mak
es me feel.

  This time, she’s the one who nods slightly before continuing.

  And I know in my heart, she’s going to make a difference.

  And I know in my heart, we both found ways to heal our wounds. Our scars will always be there, but they helped shape us, they’re not the only thing defining us.

  And I know in my heart, that I want to spend the rest of my life finding ways to support her and make her smile.

  THE END

  Thank you for reading!

  Dear Readers,

  Thank you SO MUCH for picking up TRUST ME, TRUST ME NOT. I know you have the choice between a loooooot of books and I’m grateful you chose mine.

  I cross my fingers you enjoyed it.

  If you have a few minutes, don’t hesitate to leave a review.

  And don’t hesitate to contact me. ☺ You can chat with me on my Facebook group Elodie’s Cozy Nook, where I share exclusive excerpts and hold regular giveaways. I also hang out on Instagram or on Twitter. I sometimes blog on www.elodienowodazkij.com

  And I love getting emails from readers: mailto:authorelodienowodazkij@gmail.com

  Thanks again!

  Elodie

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I can’t believe I finished writing this novel. I can’t believe how much emotion I poured in those words. I can’t believe Hunter and Lacey’s story is now in the world!

  As always, I am forever grateful for the encouraging words along the way. You have no idea how much I stressed about this novel and Katy Upperman managed to calm my fears down after reading the first five chapters. Have you read Katy’s books? They’re simply amazing! ☺

  Thank you Sara McClung for believing in my words and for being excited about this story.

  Sara and Katy: thank you for cheering me on in more ways than one.

  The Cozy Nook on Facebook: thank you for your enthusiasm and for taking the time to read my posts and be part of that community of readers! To those readers who write to me: know that I love receiving your emails and that I am so humbled that my books can have such an impact.