by Morgan James
Fucking hell. I wanted to put my fist through the wall. So goddamn beautiful, yet so untouchable. Why was life so unfair? She was everything I’d ever wanted and needed but couldn’t have. Being with Jules was like standing outside the gates of heaven yearning for joy and comfort yet knowing I’d never be allowed inside. And that pissed me off. I’d never be good enough for her, and the knowledge was hard to stomach.
I stared at the closed door, wishing things could be different. I wished everything was different. I wanted to run down that hallway and pull her into my arms, beg her forgiveness for saying something so awful and untrue. I wanted to kiss her and hold her and make her want to stay with me.
I still knew nothing about her, but my body didn’t care. I wanted her—only her. I’d been with women over the past couple years, but Jules... she was fucking special. And I had no idea what to do about it. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anything, but there was so much between us. Age. The past. The truth. Could desire ever begin to overcome those things? After the things I just said to her, I doubted I’d ever find out.
It was for the best, I decided. Even if it made me feel like shit.
Chapter 21
Giuliana
Arrogant, insufferable man.
Humiliation and anger coursed through me, still potent enough to make my skin burn hot.
“I’m not what you need. And you’re not what I need.”
I snorted. Liar.
I’d felt him. He may not want to want me, but he couldn’t mask his desire. I’d seen it, deep and dark in those hazel eyes. I’d practically felt the lust emanating from him in great, rolling waves as he’d pressed against me, holding me securely between the wall and, well... a hard place. A really hard place. I shivered just thinking about it. It felt so foreign, so scary and exciting at the same time. He wanted me... but would he ever give in to whatever this was between us?
Damn stupid man.
“In my opinion...”
I jumped as Mia appeared next to me. So completely wrapped up in my thoughts of Eric from last night, I hadn’t even heard her approach.
“...if a woman is wearing an expression like that, a man probably put it there.”
“Hmm?” I turned back to the mannequin in front of me, trying my best to play it off.
Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Mia cock her head and prop her hands on her hips. My shoulders slumped, and I dropped my chin to my chest as the air rushed out of my lungs on a hefty sigh. “Why are men so...?” I threw my hands up in the air as I turned to her, unable to come up with one specific word.
One eyebrow ratcheted toward her hairline. “Stubborn. Stupid. Ignorant.” She gestured with one hand. “I can keep going.”
Her sarcasm had me smiling. “Yes. To all of those. God, they’re so frustrating.”
“They in general or a specific him?” Mia inquired.
“Him. Just one.”
“Eric?” she whispered conspiratorially, and I nodded. “What did he do?”
There was no hiding it from her. And, I found, I didn’t want to. I needed to talk to someone—someone experienced—and get it off my chest.
“I’m just frustrated. I thought...” I waved a hand in the air. “It doesn’t matter. He wants nothing to do with me.”
“Oh, I don’t believe that for a second.” Mia tipped her head in contemplation. “He watches you like a hawk.”
I dipped my chin and flicked a disbelieving glance her way. “He called me a little girl.”
Her brow creased as she regarded me warily. “Like... in what context?”
I swallowed hard, the pain of his words spearing through me. “As in, ‘go back to bed, little girl.’”
Outrage filled her eyes. “He did not!”
“Yeah, he kinda did.” I adjusted one of the coats. “He thinks I’m too young, too inexperienced.”
“Please.” Mia waved a hand in front of her. “They all say that. Jack tried that crap with me, too.”
I turned to face her, intrigued. “Really?”
She nodded. “I think I loved Jack the moment I saw him. But he was four years older, so he held off pursuing me for a long time.”
Four years? That was all? Jack seemed so much older, so much more mature than Mia. Probably because Jack’s demeanor was almost constantly cold and hard while Mia perpetually wore a smile.
I latched on to the last thing she’d said. “Four years isn’t all that much. Not nearly the gap between Eric and me.”
I wasn’t brave enough to ask exactly how old he was, but I figured he was at least ten years older than me.
Mia lifted a shoulder. “It was a big deal when I was sixteen and he was twenty.”
My jaw dropped. “You’ve been together that long?”
She followed my gaze to her engagement ring, and she smiled. “That’s a story for another day. But”—she held up a finger—“the point is, men like those two always try to do the honorable thing. Or what they think is honorable.”
I couldn’t hold back a soft snort. “Idiots.”
A grin cracked Mia’s face. “Precisely.”
I rubbed a hand over my forehead. “What do I do?”
She tipped her head in contemplation. “I’ve heard blackmail works wonders...”
We dissolved into a fit of laughter. Almost immediately, Mia clutched at her stomach, her opposite hand fluttering to the base of her throat.
I turned concerned eyes on her. “You okay?”
She swallowed hard and nodded. “I’m good.”
“Are you sure? I—”
Mia bolted from the room before I could finish, and I followed her out of the pro shop and down the hallway as she shoved through the door of the bathroom. A metal stall door banged, and I quietly shut the door and locked it as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. I figured it was one of two things. Mia emerged a couple minutes later and threw me an apologetic glance. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
I waved one hand in the air. “Don’t apologize. Are you feeling better?”
She nodded and moved toward the sink to rinse out her mouth. “As soon as I get it out of my system, I seem to be fine.”
Well, that answered my question. “How long?”
She bit her lip. “About a week.”
“Does Jack know?”
She shook her head emphatically, her eyes wide. “Please don’t say anything.”
“Of course not,” I assured her. “How have you managed to hide it?”
She shrugged. “It seems to hit once in the morning, then I’m fine the rest of the day. Thankfully, I’m usually here when it happens.”
I studied her. “Do you need anything?”
“Well...” She rolled her eyes skyward in thought. “I’m kind of hungry now.”
My mouth dropped open in shocked amusement. “Mia!”
“What?” She laughed. “I’m pregnant. What do you want from me? Is it normal for cravings to kick in already?”
“I have no idea.” I lifted one shoulder. “I don’t know anything about babies.”
I had a huge extended family, but I’d never taken care of children.
“Hmm...” She hummed a noncommittal sound. “What about you? Are you hungry?”
“Starving, actually,” I admitted.
“All right.” Mia grinned. “Let me brush my teeth, then we can head out.”
Half an hour later, we were situated once again at Rosie’s in a corner booth. Cynthia, the little blonde waitress, shot me an unreadable look as we entered, then murmured some excuse and ducked into the back. I wondered if what Rosie had said was true; did she resent me for living with Eric, even if nothing had happened between us?
“Sheriff takin’ care of ya, darlin’?”
I smiled up at Rosie, though I felt a little pang in my chest when I thought of him. “Yes, ma’am.”
We placed our orders and were talking more about the soft opening as well as plans for the spa when Mia’s phone rang.
Her brows drew together as she studied the screen then answered. “Hello? Oh, hey... Yeah.” Her eyes darted across the table to me. “She’s with me... Okay. Hold on.”
My eyes widened as Mia silently extended the phone across the table to me. I slipped it from her fingers and held it to my ear. “Hello?”
“Jesus.” Relief filled me as I recognized Eric’s voice on the other end of the line. “I’ve been trying to reach you for half an hour. Had me damn near ready to drive up to Briarleigh to check on you.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized, though I wasn’t quite sure why.
“No, no, it’s fine. I was just... checking in.”
He was worried about me? A little glow of warmth flickered to life around my heart. “I’m fine. Mia and I took a lunch break.”
“Okay.” His end was silent for a long moment. “Your car is done.”
“Oh? Do you want me to go get it? Mia can—”
He cut me off before I could offer to pick the car up. “No. I want to drive it first to make sure everything is okay.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to put you out.”
“It’s no problem,” he replied, his voice gruff. “I’ll drop it off later this afternoon so it’ll be there for you by the time you get done.”
“Thank you.”
“Sure.”
The silence stretched between us for several seconds, and I traced a crack in the Formica tabletop. “So. Um...”
“Yeah. I guess I’ll see you later?”
“See you later,” I replied, then hung up. I met Mia’s gaze as I passed the phone back to her. A smile curved her mouth, much like the cat that caught the canary, and I blushed. “What’s that look for?”
“You know,” she said impishly as she stowed her phone in her bag. “And you said he doesn’t care about you.”
“He doesn’t—”
Mia pointed at me. “He tracked me down through Jack to find you because he was worried about you.” She lifted a brow to drive home the point. “He cares about you.”
A tiny smile curved my mouth as I dropped my gaze to the table. “Maybe.”
“Don’t give up on him,” Mia said softly. “The right man is always worth fighting for.”
I knew she was right. And maybe he did truly care about me. But what could I do as long as he continued to fight whatever was brewing between us? I wished he could see that what he needed was right in front of him; all he had to do was reach out and take it.
Chapter 22
Eric
I turned off the radio and focused on the sounds of the car. The tires hummed against the pavement beneath me as I drove toward Briarleigh, and it sent a faint vibration up through the seats. I accelerated through a slight curve before the road started its steep incline. Trees flanked both sides of the road, a fresh layer of snow clinging to their boughs. The sun shone overhead, but most of it was blocked out by the tall pines.
Out of habit, I flicked a glance in the rearview mirror. The image of my cruiser filled the small oval, Riley at the wheel. It was a quiet morning, and so far, we hadn’t passed another car. The Cavalier appeared to be in good condition even though it was old. Egerton had apparently taken good care of it, but I would still feel better if Jules was in something newer and more reliable. The engine had over 200,000 miles on it, and I wasn’t quite sure how much longer it would last even with proper maintenance.
From outside the vehicle, a flat crack cut through the morning air. I’d heard that sound too many times not to know what it was. My initial assumption was that a hunter was in the woods—but the splintering of the windshield half a second later told me I was dead wrong.
Instinctively, my fingers tightened on the wheel as I ducked down in my seat. The tires slipped on a patch of ice, sending the car into a wild spin, and trees streaked past my window in a wild blur of green and white before the car slammed into the guardrail. The airbag exploded in a puff of white, blasting against my chest and face, halting my forward motion as the seat belt snapped tightly across my chest. The car jolted to a stop, the rear end facing the opposite direction.
For a second, all was quiet. I braced myself for another shot, but it never came. Twisting my head, I peeked around the headrest to see if I could get a glimpse of anything. No movement came from the woods, and I took a moment to brush away the blood trickling from my nose. I glanced around again. Considering the shot had come through the windshield, I figured whoever had shot at me was located somewhere up on the mountain. We would have to measure the trajectory to find out exactly where, and I planned to get the deputies up there as soon as possible to start looking around.
Rapid footfalls slapping against the pavement met my ears, and my door was wrenched open a few seconds later. Riley knelt low, using the Cavalier to conceal his body as he stared at me. His face was pale, his lips pressed into a firm line, and I could see the fear in his eyes. I held one hand up in reassurance. “I’m good.” He gave a terse nod, and I continued. “Radio it in. We need all available units up here ASAP.”
Riley spoke into the radio situated in his shoulder, and I mentally catalogued myself as well as Jules’s car. Glancing briefly in the rearview mirror, I caught sight of my battered face, and I grimaced. I could feel that my nose was broken, and abrasions stood out starkly red across both cheeks and my forehead. Thank God for airbags—and guardrails. Otherwise Riley would’ve been pulling me up from the valley a thousand feet below, and I doubted I would be breathing.
Riley turned his attention back to me. “Squad is on the way.”
The last thing I wanted to do was waste time by going to the hospital, but I knew there was no getting out of it. Regardless of whether I wanted it or not, it was basic protocol to check for a concussion. I wanted to be up on that mountain myself looking for leads, but my guys would have to take charge on this one. I eyed Riley as I extricated myself from the Cavalier. My body ached everywhere already, and I knew tomorrow was going to be a bitch.
For the past two minutes since the shot had been fired, all had been silent. I was both wary and grateful, but I didn’t want to waste precious time. I motioned for Riley to move to the front of the car with me, downwind from where the shooter had been. “I want to check trajectory on that shot.”
Riley gave a concise nod, his quick mind already working. Part of the windshield had caved in when the car connected with the guard rail, but the small round hole just to the left of center was still visible. Riley took off at a jog toward my cruiser and grabbed a kit from the trunk. While he was gone, I craned my neck to peer inside the vehicle, looking for the bullet. I knew it hadn’t struck my seat, but I thought I’d heard a dull thud as it hit the hard plastic of the back seat. Sure enough, I found it about four inches below and to the left of the headrest.
Riley approached again with a long dowel rod. Positioning himself at the right front fender of the car, he carefully slid it inside the small circular hole the bullet had left in the windshield. I guided it the rest of the way through until the base of the rod touched the slug lodged in the back seat.
I shared a quick glance with him. From the angle, it appeared the shooter would have been located north of me and off to the right side of the road. Using a pair of forceps from the case, I dug the bullet out of the seat. It was a .22 caliber, a common enough size for a rifle. Everyone in Pine Ridge had at least one in their household.
“We need to get up there and assess the scene, see if we can find anything.” From the base of the mountain, I heard the faint wail of a siren as the ambulance wound its way up to us. I knew my deputies wouldn’t be far behind, and I was grateful for the quick response. My head ached, and I blinked to clear away the black spots dancing before my eyes. Flashing red lights preceded the ambulance’s arrival and I turned to Riley. “Can you do me a favor?”
He dipped his chin. “Sure thing, boss.”
My breath rushed out of my lungs on a sigh. “Can you send someone to pick Jules up, take her back to the house?”
I knew they’d require me to be treated down at Kalispell General, and there was no way I’d be released in time to get her.
“No problem.” He paused. “You think...?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t have to be a genius to know what he was thinking. I’d driven the Cavalier only once before today, and that had been more than a week ago when she’d first arrived in town. “Just make sure she’s safe ’til I get there.”
Someone would answer for this. But first, I needed to talk to Jules—and find out what she was hiding.
Chapter 23
Giuliana
The cruiser pulled up, and I pushed out the door, heading toward it. My steps slowed, and my feet turned to lead when I saw an unfamiliar face in the driver seat. The man rolled down the window separating us. “Hey. Jules, right?” I nodded. “I’m Riley. Eric sent me to get you.”
Warning bells went off in my head. “Why? Where is he?”
His face contorted into an expression I couldn’t read. “He was in an accident.”
Those five little words stole my breath, and my knees buckled. I grasped the sill of the door to keep myself upright. “What happened? Is he okay?”
Riley studied me. “He’ll be fine. They took him down to the hospital in Kalispell—standard procedure. He asked me to take you to his place until he gets home.”
I quickly debated my options then climbed into the car. I pulled the seat belt across my chest, and Riley hit the button to roll up the window before putting the car in gear. The trip to Eric’s was silent, and I breathed a sigh of relief as we pulled into the driveway. I turned surprised eyes on him when he cut the engine and made to climb out. He answered my unspoken question before I voiced it.
“I promised I’d stay here until he got home.”
I nodded, but the whole situation seemed strange. For the next several hours, Riley sat at the kitchen table, intermittently taking phone calls and answering emails while I paced the small house. I still didn’t fully trust him or what he told me, and I probably wouldn’t until I saw Eric for myself. Riley still hadn’t told me exactly what had happened, and that bothered me.