by Mia Taylor
“Even Alex treated me like his brother. There was never any mention of my adoption. No one made me feel like an outsider or anything.”
Briar stopped speaking for a minute, again organizing his thoughts.
“But now and again, I can see her dark hair, see her walking away as if she couldn’t leave us fast enough and I think that always stayed in my mind.”
Berlin suddenly understood what he was saying without him explaining further.
He doesn’t trust women not to leave.
He blinked and sat up like he’d just heard himself.
“Listen to me, whining about my mommy issue,” he grumbled. “Sorry. I don’t know what’s gotten into me.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she urged. “You’re speaking from the heart. There’s nothing wrong with that. Tell me more about your family.”
He gave her a strange look.
“Your family sounds much more interesting,” he replied slowly. “What is the deal with you and your brother?”
Berlin turned away, defensiveness touching her. She wished he hadn’t asked that.
“Nothing,” she replied shortly, disentangling herself from him. “We’re siblings. Siblings fight.”
“It sounds like he’s forcing you to do something you don’t want to do.”
Berlin whipped her head around and gaped at him.
“Were you listening to my conversation?” she hissed, her back arching like a pissed-off cat.
“The door was open and I could hear you, if that’s what you’re asking. I didn’t have my ear pressed against the wall with a glass or anything.”
“What happens with my family is none of your business!” she snapped. “I don’t invade your privacy, do I? Just because we’re neighbors doesn’t give you the right to go snooping around in my personal life, Briar.”
“Neighbors?” he mused lightly but the words obviously stung him deeper than he let on. She hated herself for reacting so angrily to him, especially after what they had just shared, but she couldn’t allow him to nose around, not where her family was concerned.
“I thought we were a little more than neighbors, Berlin.”
“Whatever.” She rose in search of her clothes, careful not to look back at him, even though her heart was hammering wildly in her chest. She didn’t want to sound like such a bitch but she also didn’t want him pushing the issue, not when it had to do with something so…
Please drop it, she begged silently. I don’t want to fight with you over this. You’ll lose. You can’t get involved with this part of my life. No one can.
There was a long, unsettling silence and Berlin carefully kept her eyes away from him but strove to change the subject.
“I’ll make dinner,” she said, sliding into the kitchen. “I hope you like tacos because that’s about the only thing I’m good at making.”
“I’m not staying for dinner.”
Her blood cooled and she turned to him. He had fully dressed.
“Why not?” she demanded. “Because I wouldn’t disclose the intimate details of my family life to you?”
He shook his head.
“Because I don’t think you want me here.”
Her mouth gaped and she instinctively shook her head in denial.
Oh, don’t do this. I won’t choose between you and my family. I can’t!
“If I didn’t want you here, I wouldn’t have asked you to come here!”
“I’ll see you around, Berlin,” he said, and she could hear the pain in his voice.
“If this is your way of guilting me, it isn’t going to work!” she yelled after him but he didn’t respond. Berlin whipped the tea towel in her hands onto the counter and grimaced.
“What the hell? Why do I always meet men who are emotionally unstable?”
But even as she questioned the empty apartment, she knew it wasn’t Briar who had the problem; it was her.
“Goddamn you, August!” she cursed, unwilling to accept the personal blame. “If I wasn’t always caught up in your shit…”
She wondered why she was talking to herself and as if on cue, Liam echoed her thoughts.
“Who are you talking to?” he demanded, letting himself through the ajar door. He wrinkled his nose instantly before widening his eyes at her.
“Did you just do the nasty?” he demanded. She flushed scarlet and wondered how he had such a sense for those things.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. What are you doing here?”
“You did! Who did you do it with? Oh, no, let me guess,” he mewled, stalking closer. “It was Sexy Sexerson downstairs, wasn’t it?”
“Liam, what are you doing here? I’m on my way out.”
“Without any pants?” he asked mockingly. Berlin was sure her face was purple with humiliation.
“Liam…”
“I just came to check on you. I haven’t seen you in days and you haven’t been answering your texts.”
“I’ve been busy,” she snapped, pivoting toward the hall to find her pants.
“Near the bathroom,” Liam instructed and Berlin swallowed a groan.
Am I so transparent? Are my emotions just painted on my face? Can anyone read what I’m thinking at any given time?
“You seem upset. What happened?”
Yep, I guess that answers my question.
“Nothing happened. I’m just busy,” she insisted. “I’ve got a lot going on.”
“Honey, we all have a lot going on,” Liam countered. “But I can still take two minutes out of my day to send you a text, right?”
Shame flooded her and she nodded, sighing.
Why do I suffer all my relationships? Maybe Briar and I aren’t so different. Maybe I have my own daddy issues, too. Is that why I push people away?
That was a much deeper psychological matter, one which she couldn’t tend to at that moment.
“You’re right,” she mumbled. “I’m sorry.”
Liam’s face relaxed into a grin.
“No need to be sorry. You can make it up to me with… what are you making there? Tacos?”
She sighed and nodded, reaching for the ground beef she’d left to thaw in the sink.
“Come on, honey,” Liam said sympathetically. “Let’s pour a glass of vino and gossip, all right?”
“Sounds good to me,” she sighed.
“Should I call Hunky back up here?” Liam asked gently. “You guys should kiss and make up, don’t you think? Whatever stupid fight you had doesn’t have to linger. All it takes is one person to say, ‘I’m sorry’, you know?”
“I can’t,” she mumbled, digging out a pan as Liam found the wine glasses. “He’s asking me about something I can’t discuss.”
“August?”
Her head jerked around and she narrowed her eyes at him.
“How did you know?”
Liam shrugged.
“Because he’s the only person who can get you worked up like this. Everything else you take in stride.”
That’s because of what he has on me, she thought tensely although she knew that wasn’t a fair assessment. Her brother would never out her, no matter what she did. It was just the thought that he knew more about her than anyone else which troubled her so much.
Anyway, Briar and I could never be anyway. It was stupid to let it get this far. I shouldn’t have agreed to start having dinners with him. This was bound to happen. When you let people get too close, someone always gets hurt. It’s better I cut him out now before he’s in over his head.
“You know, people who are toxic need to be cut out of your life,” Liam continued. “No matter if they’re family or not.”
“I can’t cut my brother out of my life.”
As much as I’d love to. He and Dad are going way too far with this avenging angel crap. How do I even know if what they’re telling me is true anymore?
How innocent she’d been when it had all started, how stupid.
“They kill us, we kill them!” the men in the h
all chanted and Berlin’s father, Marvin, would lift her up on his shoulders so she could hear the cries.
“Who do we kill, Dad?” she whispered, terrified at the idea of hurting anyone. She had been too young to know who those men were or even who her was in her own family. All she knew was that someone was out to get them and they needed to be stopped.
“Fucking Sleuth Avengers,” she muttered. “Even a stupid name.”
“What?” Liam asked, his chocolate eyes puzzled. “What did you say?”
“Nothing.” She hadn’t realized she’d spoken aloud. “I’m muttering to myself.”
“Well stop that and drink your wine. Later, we will drunk dial your brother and tell him what you really think of him. Then you can go back downstairs and make monkey love to that gorgeous specimen below us.”
He sighed, the mere thought of Briar making him swoon.
“Not gonna happen,” Berlin said firmly. “It’s better that we keep our distance from one another.”
Liam snorted.
“What? Nothing good can come of neighbors getting into a relationship!” Berlin insisted. “I’m not kidding. This was a bad idea. You don’t crap where you eat, Liam.”
“I’m sure there are a million happily-ever-after stories that start that way.”
“And I bet there’s a billion divorces that did, too.”
“Such a cynic! My God, Berlin, I’m going to start bringing you cats and wool when I come around. You’re becoming a bitter old maid.”
Better a bitter old maid than exposed and dead, she thought.
Chapter Six
Goodbyes
He swirled his beer around in the glass and sighed, downing the rest of it in a swig. Briar had already stayed longer than he had intended when Cory and Vy had dragged him to Chippie’s.
“I gotta go, guys,” he told Vy and Cory. “The movers are coming early and—”
“Bullshit!” Cory grumbled. “You can stay for at least one more. I can’t believe you’re leaving us here to fend for ourselves!”
Briar knew he didn’t mean it, but it still sent a pang of guilt through him.
“You don’t have to worry,” he said for what felt like the hundredth time in days. “Your jobs will be secure. You guys are amazing at what you do!”
“If you believe our jobs are safe, then why don’t you stay?” Vy shot back. “Surely you don’t want to uproot yourself from the only place you’ve ever called home.”
“Especially not with that hot blonde living upstairs!” Cory added and Briar gritted his teeth to keep from offering a sharp retort.
How could he be short with his friends when for the entire month, he had asked himself the same question? He knew the smartest move for him to make was to leave from both a work and personal standpoint. He was not confident that his job would remain active if he stayed in Eugene.
Logically, he was sure moving to Seattle was his best plan. Emotionally, he loathed the way he had left things with Berlin.
The day after they had been together, he knocked on the door, ready to apologize. After stewing about it all night, he realized that she was right; it was none of his business. He had no right to pry into her family life.
Just because I felt the urge to disclose private information to her doesn’t mean she needs to bare her soul to me.
He was aware that he was feeling vulnerable and let down which is why he reacted so childishly. In the end, he just assumed they would forget about it and he’d remember not to bring it up again.
But Berlin didn’t answer the door. Not that day nor the next. She purposely and skillfully avoided him, even though he could hear her moving around upstairs.
One evening, he heard the front door open and he ran to show his face, but it was only Liam.
“Hello, stranger,” the sloe-eyed man greeted him. “Where have you been hiding?”
“Can I come upstairs with you?” Briar asked without preamble. Liam’s smile faded.
“She’s still not speaking to you?” he asked, shifting his eyes away like he knew more than he was letting on.
“We had a dumb fight and I acted like an ass but she won’t even answer her door.”
Liam sighed heavily.
“Yeah, she’s stubborn,” he agreed. “But she’ll come around.”
“Will she?” There was bitterness in Briar’s tone. “When can I expect that to happen?”
Liam sighed and shook his head.
“She’s difficult but she’s worth it, you know?”
“I know! That’s why I’m trying to make this work!”
“Well, I can tell you right now that storming her apartment will not improve matters, Briar. Give her a few more days. I’ll talk to her, okay?”
He beamed reassuringly and Briar was forced to accept that as an answer, even though he loathed the idea of waiting any longer.
More importantly, he had already accepted the offer in Washington and he wanted to talk to her about it. His decision had been motivated by job security, his cautious optimism that nothing bad would happen fading away into nothingness. He’d only had forty-eight hours to decide. Without Berlin speaking to him, he’d been forced to act in his best interest.
If I didn’t accept the job and Berlin never spoke to me again, I’d be facing unemployment for no reason.
His desperation turned to anger after two weeks and by the time he landed in Chippie’s, the night before his move, he was almost apathetic.
I’m not chasing the girl. She probably thinks she has some kind of upper hand with me somehow. I’m not playing games with her. I guess I was wrong about Berlin.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving!” Vanessa whined, depositing another pint in front of him. She had apparently forgiven him for the night they’d had it out.
If Vanessa can be forgiving, why can’t Berlin?
Maybe he wasn’t as apathetic about the entire situation as he’d hoped.
“Don’t worry, Vanessa,” Cory chortled. “I’ll be by here every day once I get fired.”
“Me, too!” Vy chimed in and Briar desperately wished he’d left when he’d had the chance. Their intoxicated bemoaning was grating on his nerves. He didn’t know what else they wanted from him. Nothing he said seemed to have any positive effect on either of his friends.
I’ll chug this and grab an Uber home, he decided.
“I’m getting shots!” Cory announced suddenly, swirling his finger to signify a round. “And one for you too, Van.”
Vanessa giggled and Briar shook his head.
“No way! I’m leaving soon.”
“Oh, you’re in such a rush to leave us, aren’t you?”
“Come on, Cory, enough with the guilt trip. I’ll come back and visit you guys—”
“Oh my God! You sound like a little boy who left his puppy on a farm!” Vy howled and Briar abruptly realized he was amidst the very drunk. “You aren’t coming back. You’re gonna forget all about us!”
How much have they had to drink?
They were drowning their sorrows. Everything was changing for them and Briar felt exactly the same.
It’s not going to kill you to stay here with them for a while. Just show them that you’re not abandoning them. You know what it feels like to be abandoned.
“Shots it is!” he announced and his friends cheered.
They want to be here with me. Why are you so desperate to go back to your lonely, packed apartment? So you can spend another night hoping that Berlin changes her mind and wants to talk?
“If you want, you can do body shots,” Vanessa offered suggestively. “Off any body part you want…”
“I want!” Cory cried but Vanessa ignored him, staring into Briar’s eyes with hunger.
“What about it? One to say goodbye?”
He grinned as Cory shouted out words of encouragement.
“Say yes!” Cory hollered. “You’re leaving us! Give her something to remember you by!”
Vanessa bit on her lower lip and waited, t
he expectation in her eyes piercing through him.
“Well?”
How many years has this woman been trying to get in my pants? Two? Three?
“Do it, buddy!” Cory gasped, falling forward with excitement. Briar’s smile widened and Vanessa’s mouth curved to match.
“Not a chance,” Briar replied, flopping back against the booth. “I’m still not interested, Vanessa.”
~~~
He fell out of the car and onto the lawn in an unceremonious pile but the Uber driver didn’t seem to care. The black sedan left him in a puddle on the grass and zoomed away as Briar lay on his back, staring up at the stars.
“Do they have stars in Seattle?” he asked the moon but the moon didn’t reply. Dizziness consumed him and he was afraid to move so he remained in place, lest the last three shots resurface. His head spun and he closed his eyes, willing himself to feel human again.
But you’re not human! A voice taunted him. You’re a freak creature, remember?
Briar knew he was too drunk for rational thought and whatever reason he had left in him fought to remain cool but he was falling into a pit of despair.
Everything goes away in the end, he thought mournfully. Everyone and everything.
Even inebriated, he knew he was being melodramatic but he couldn’t help himself.
A shadow fell over him, blocking the starlight, and he reluctantly pulled his lids open to stare up at the figure looming above him.
“I doubt John would be impressed to hear about this,” Berlin commented, eyeing him with a combination of amusement and disgust.
“I don’t give a shit!” Briar slurred. “I’m leaving tomorrow! I’ll be out of your hair. You don’t have to worry about me knocking on your door or getting in your business.”
Berlin frowned.
“You’re leaving? What does that mean?”
He blinked heavily, a sleepiness overcoming him.
“Wouldn’t you like to know!” he laughed but the sound made his head hurt.
Oh God, how many shots of tequila were there?
“You’re loaded,” she sighed, leaning down to grab his arm. “Come on, let’s get you inside before Liz sees you out here.”
“I don’t care!” he growled, protesting, but to his amazement, she lifted him to his feet with ease. There was no struggle to get him up whatsoever.