by Shel Stone
Adrian was probably celebrated for what he’d done. The world was so fucked up. Sadness and despondence threatened her again, and she had worked so hard to keep it at bay, using every trick she had. She was running out of tricks, out of things she could tell herself that this wasn’t so bad, that it didn’t mean anything. That the people who loved her still loved her.
“Do you want to skip school again? I doubt the office is going to call you on it considering what’s happened?” Morgan asked.
“No, I am going to stay every bitter minute of it,” Cecily said darkly. And that was what being here felt like, bitter.
Chapter 19
STROKING HIS TONGUE over his teeth, Adrian watched as Cecily turned up the next day. The enemy wasn’t quite dead yet, and he didn’t really understand why. There wasn’t any coming back from this. If it was sympathy she was counting on, this was the wrong crowd. Weakness simply wasn’t allowed. The weak got eaten, and for some reason, Cecily was making out like she wasn’t all that weak.
The look on her face showed she was under pressure. She hated every moment of being there, walking with her books tucked tightly to her chest, as if she expected attack at any moment. And maybe she was right. With careful steps, she walked along, trying not to pay attention to the people around her. Quite a good job, because she didn’t see him as she arrived at her locker, trying to mind her own business.
Granted, it took some guts showing up after something like that. He just wasn’t sure why she was making an effort. It wasn’t as if her relationship with her father and stepfamily were keeping her here, because it wasn’t good. Not exactly hard to read between the lines there. Maybe she simply didn’t want to rock the boat on her tentative relationship with her father by demanding to return to Europe. It was an issue she just needed to face head on.
Placing his elbow on the locker beside hers, he leaned in. “Why are you still here, Chambers?”
His presence startled her and there was no hiding that. “Fuck off, Adrian.”
“Such harsh words. Don’t quite look right on your lips.”
She turned to him. “What do you want?”
“Got a picture of me in your locker?”
“No.”
“I’m hurt.”
“What do you want, Adrian?” she repeated.
“I want to know why you are still here,” he said slowly.
“Because this is where I go to school.”
He winced. “Yeah, I think I kind of ruined that for you.”
“You can go,” she said snootily. Arrogance was a tried and true defense mechanism, but they were in a state well beyond what arrogance could paper over.
“Just thought you’d power through to the end of the year? Did Morgan tell you that the scandal would fade and they’d all forget about it, that the attention and ridicule would stop? It won’t. Don’t you want to know why?” Maybe it said something about him that he enjoyed this immensely. Even he knew it was a little immature, but he loved every minute of it. Like sticking a knife in your enemy’s gut.
“No,” she said.
“Because I won’t let them. If you haven’t figured it out by now, it was my intention to ruin everything here for you. It’s not like I’m going to stop because you’re still here. I just have to up the ante a bit, because my intention here, if it wasn’t clear, is to not have you around—at all. Bye, Cecily.”
“Why are you doing this? What have I possibly done to you?”
“It’s a little disappointing you don’t know. You should be more aware of the things around you.”
“What’s the supposed to mean?”
“It means what you don’t know can kill you.”
There was no hiding the confusion in her eyes. She had no idea. Ignorance wasn’t a defense. Never had been, never would be. Ignorance made you weak. It let things like this flank you. If nothing else, that would be a useful lesson for her.
“So I don’t know why you’re still here. Are you a glutton for punishment, because I can mete it out.”
“Screw you,” she said, slamming the locker door before turning to march away.
And so the message had been delivered. Whatever kept her here now had to compete with the misery he was about to make her life. And really, there was no marching away because they had class together, and he was curious to see if she finally moved seat. Surprised when she hadn’t, although she used her hair as a curtain to protect her face, her textbook already open.
Her pink nail polish was chipped as if she’d been worrying her nails. From everything he’d learned about her, he knew she wasn’t particularly skilled at this game. Her posture was defensive, her leg wrapped tightly around the other. Those legs she’d parted so eagerly for him. The video itself had been removed from his social, so it wasn’t as if someone could simply look at his account and see it posted. But the damage was done.
Something in him itched to engage with her, to see those hurt eyes. Maybe because with her, there was some genuineness there, as opposed to the girls who used it as a tactic when their true feelings were simply outrage. But there was something different about her, something smarter, which was what made this more exciting.
“You should have known it was too good to be true,” he said quietly while Mr. Anderson spoke with conviction about the brilliance of Dickens. In a way, Adrian could see Cecily as a true Dickens heroine, unjustly and cruelly treated.
“You are so arrogant,” she said back and looked over at him. Their eyes met for a moment.
“I change my mind, Cecily. Don’t leave. You and me, we’re going to have so much fun.” There was no doubt his words were chilling. They were intended to be. Clearly reverse psychology, but only superficially. Something in him wanted her to stay, wanted her to fight. Another part wished she wouldn’t. She would be better off just going, because this was a shit town for someone like her, and she should go back to Europe and marry her titled European aristocrat. Her father certainly wasn’t worth her sticking around for.
She broke away first, and it would have to be, because he wasn’t stopping. If she stayed, she would give him purpose, and that was probably not something she bargained for. “Do yourself a favor,” he said quietly, not entirely sure she heard him.
Class ended and she was out like a shot, earpieces firmly shoved in, listening to Fleetwood Mac. He’d seen her loading it on her phone. Clearly not a hip hop or rap girl, liked the classics. Fucking Abba, Jackson 5 and Fleetwood Mac. What did that say about her, he wondered. Where had that taste come from?
Leaving the classroom, he walked into the hallway and observed the bustle of people chatting between class. Tilly and the girls were standing not that far away. Tilly was always cool and collected, no matter what was thrown at her. Now, she knew how to play the game if pushed into a corner. Smart enough not to let herself be pushed. Guarded.
“Hey,” Adrian said as he came to them.
“Hey, Adrian,” Tilly said, looking up at him. There was wariness, because she wasn’t stupid. “Quite a number you did on the new girl. What had she done to offend you?”
“Just a sneaky little liar,” he said, crossing his arms languidly.
“Oh yeah, about what?”
“Presented a very different picture from what she said.” Tilly’s interest was piqued. Always on guard, watching for an attack. “You extended your friendship to her and she rewarded you in probably not the best way.”
“Yeah? How so?” The problem with people who always guarded against attack was that they were often unreasonable when they found one. And Tilly wasn’t aware it made her easy to manipulate.
“Well, she said you were a bitch and that your taste in clothes was common. That’s such a European word, isn’t it? Common. I think in international terms, she called you a basic bitch. And a bitch.”
Tilly was blinking and her jaw was taut. Adrian wanted to roll his eyes for her being so easy to manipulate, just a specter of attack and she saw red. “The little whore.” It was like whe
n those placid robots in movies eyes’ turned red and they were out for blood. Tilly was now out for blood, and poor Cecily’s life here just got infinitely harder.
And that was how one upped the ante. It was just so simple. Didn’t really have to raise a finger. And truthfully, girls were a hell of a lot more vicious than he could ever be. A girl fight would be so much more vicious because with him, attraction would get in the way. It was sheer biology. If he wanted it or not, it reared its ugly head. Marking your enemy and she was female, it was just there. And he had never marked an enemy before like he had Cecily Chambers, which was probably part of the reason why he wanted her to do them both a favor and leave.
Obviously, he wished it wasn’t there, but he was a glutton for punishment when it came to the truth. At the core of all this was a dark energy, and it fed things in him that had been starving for a while.
Chapter 20
ADRIAN WAS TRUE TO his word, things got infinitely more difficult. The girls were merciless, calling her names, dirty looks and shoulder shoves. By former association, Morgan, Mishti, Tory and Audrina got it too, which was the worst of it. They had risen with her, and they were along for the fall whether they wanted it or not. It seemed they couldn’t hop off the ride at the top like they had tried to, except Morgan who was a thick and thin kind of girl.
But Cecily was seriously starting to worry about the impact this was going to have on them. She was out of there, and ideally this minute, according to Adrian, but this was these girls’ hometown. They would have to face the consequences no matter what, and at times, Cecily wondered if the best thing she could do was just to comply and head for the airport. But it felt a little like leaving these girls to clean up her mess—a mess she still didn’t understand where it had come from.
Adrian had said she should know more about the people around her and she had grappled with it. Every relationship she had, she’d questioned. If it was one of the girls, though, why would he work through her? Was this some kind of way to urge one of them to toe the line, by completely ruining her?
“Cecily,” Lauren said when Cecily came home one day. It was unusual that her stepmother was at home in the afternoons. Normally she was out lunching, or spa-ing or whatever it was she did with her time. Her nails were red, matching the wrap dress she wore. Everything about her was extremely polished. Cecily wasn’t even sure she had ever seen a hair out of place, and it was literally gleaming golden. There might actually be real gold in the hair products the salon used on her. If that was even possible, Cecily didn’t know, but if it were, Lauren would pay for it. “Could we have a little talk?”
Lauren looked nervous as she sat daintily on the sofa. Cecily dropped her bag on the opposing sofa and sat down. Her and Lauren never talked. Lauren smiled a lot, because she wanted to be perceived as a wonderful stepmother, but they had absolutely nothing in common, and less to say to each other.
“Now I’ve had a chat with your father and we’ve determined that we have to have a little talk with you.”
“And somehow you determined you were the person to do so?” Cecily said, feeling both suspicious and angry. Lauren was basically a stranger who lived in the house with them, or it was probably the other way around. Cecily lived in this strange woman’s house.
Lauren smiled, which was the reply for everything, including when she had no idea what to say, or was annoyed that everyone wasn’t making things easy for her.
“Now about this video circulating,” Lauren started.
Cecily wished the floor would open up and swallow her. Her dad knew about it. Everyone knew about it.
“Surely you know not to let boys film you if you go to bed with them?”
“It was a hidden camera,” Cecily said through gritted teeth.
“Obviously your father is very disappointed with you.”
Tears prickled the back of Cecily’s eyes. Not just because her father was disappointed, but because he had delegated informing her of it. If that didn’t say he didn’t give a shit, she didn’t know what did. Or else he was being a total pussy, which was equally disappointing. “Well, that’s nice,” Cecily said tartly. “Because at no point in all this was it disappointing to me!”
“No need to lose your temper, Cecily.”
“Oh really? Why not? At what point is it okay to lose your temper? Not when some asshole does this to you?”
“You need to be more careful,” Lauren said sharply. “Don’t be so fucking naïve.”
Oh and here the real Lauren was coming out and Cecily could see the truth. This was embarrassing for Lauren. It had reached into her social circles and was impacting her.
Unable to bear this any longer, Cecily rose and marched to her room, slamming the door. Somehow she had taken a turn somewhere and landed in hell. Technically, sleeping with Adrian had been that turn. How had she not seen how despicable he was? Everyone had told her he was an asshole, but she hadn’t listened. Instead, she’d literally let him charm the pants of her.
Lying down on the bed, she curled up around a pillow. The worst thing about all this was that there was nothing she could do to stop any of it. She couldn’t force him to undo it, there was nothing she could say to mitigate it. She’d slept with him and everyone knew. There was nothing else to say about it. It couldn’t be warped into something it wasn’t. It couldn’t be glossed over. Adrian had her and there was no denying it. So now what?
The sun shifted around the room and finally set. Food was something she couldn’t stomach. Not even ice cream would fix this. All she wanted was silence, to not exist in her own head and skin for a little while.
It was the sheer helplessness that made it worse. How could he do something like this? On one hand, though, she knew this had happened to other people. She’d heard stories about it. It wasn’t just her. Other girls had had their lives ripped apart like this, and somehow they kept breathing. There had to be a way.
Pulling her laptop over, she cracked it open and searched, and sure enough, there was no shortage. In the past, she’d always thought these girls had been dumb and careless. Well, maybe they all had trusted a guy. That seemed to be the fatal mistake.
Then she read an article from a girl who refused to be bitter, refused to let this define her and rule her life. It was the aftereffects that were truly destructive, like the one girl who’d developed anorexia and nearly died.
A knock sounded on her door. “Go away,” she yelled.
“You alright, Snowpea?” her dad said. He hadn’t called her that since she’d been little. In all honesty, she was surprised he was even there. Carefully he opened the door, probably expecting she would throw something at him. Then he walked in and put his hands in his pants pockets. “I hear things have been crappy lately.”
“I think we can all agree that’s an understatement.”
“Who is this boy?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it.”
Moments ticked by and he didn’t move. “So the question is what we’re going to do about it.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Yeah, but we have to. Got to deal with shit like this.”
“What’s there to deal with? I’m fucked, Dad. That about sums it up. And I’m not dragging this out for years on some court case if that’s what you’re thinking. His family can afford the best lawyers in the world, and all it would do would be to extend this endlessly. So no, there is nothing to deal with.”
“We can put you in another school. Carterton’s one of the best, but there are others.”
“And it would take them all of two seconds to find that video.” And really, the people in this crowd had long networks. There was nowhere people wouldn’t know. They already knew in Europe.
“Do you want to go back to your school in Switzerland?”
The article talking about resilience came back to her mind. About refusing to let this destroy her. It might destroy her social standing, her reputation and her value in other people’s eyes, but non
e of that was her. She was still the same person. And she had Morgan. Did she really want to go running back to her own school within months of leaving because she couldn’t hack it? That might actually be worse than the video being posted. “No,” she finally said. “I’ll deal with it.”
It seemed as if her father wanted to say something else. “Are you hungry?”
“No.”
“Alright. If you change your mind, we can go after this boy.” That was how her father solved problems, using the legal system to bash anyone who stood in his way. Well, that didn’t work in these circumstances, but her father didn’t get that.
As he was about to close the door, she said, “Oh, and don’t use Lauren to talk to me about issues. She’s nothing to me.”
“She’s your stepmother.”
“No, she’s your wife, but she’s nothing to me. Just don’t.”
An awkward silence pressed. He might not see how horrible Lauren was, but it didn’t mean she needed to put up with him trying to foist Lauren on her. Cecily had enough shit to deal with.
Alone again, she sighed and looked out at the shimmering lights of the city. Not as bright as they normally were as it had started raining, and it suited her mood.
Chapter 21
TAPPING HIS FOOT, Adrian sat in Mr. Walters’ office. His father beside him, having just choppered in from the airport. If this was about any other daughter than Jeffrey Chambers’, Adrian doubted his father would have made the effort to cut his trip short. Not pleased to be there, his father refused to look at him and silence reigned in the somber and majestic principal’s office.