by Mandy Harbin
Shelby nodded. “It was a good idea. Since we went through training for that op last year, I wouldn’t have any problem doing it if it came to that. Easy profession to be self-employed in, too, which helps me out if he does any digging.”
“You’re welcome,” Viola said, smiling. She’d been the one to suggest it to the team. “It’s hard to trace a job like that. Some states don’t even regulate that profession.” She chuckled. “Which is why we were called in last year.”
Shelby picked up a French fry and nibbled on it, contemplating if she could confide in Viola. Work was her life. She didn’t have time for friends not connected to the bureau, but she did consider Viola a friend. Of course, she was closest to Darrell on the team, but no way would she tell her mentor she’d gone all the way with their mark. He already didn’t like the idea of her working the case. More importantly, he was a by-the-books kind of man. If she told him details she’d left out in the meeting, he’d scold her for such a rookie move and demand she immediately bring Rick up to speed. He was definitely out.
She was friends with Anna Sue, too, but she was back in Arkansas. Shelby had been put on assignment there and hung out with Xan and Roxie some off the clock. Even visited with Maya and Heather. But Shelby didn’t know those ladies well enough to reach out about something personal. In fact, except for Anna Sue, she was closer to the Bang Shift men than she was the women in that town. It wasn’t surprising considering her upbringing, not that it did her any good with this predicament.
All that was left was her family. Her male family. Her dad, an old-school grease monkey. No. Her brother, Axle, a badass Navy SEAL. Hell no. Shelby couldn’t even think about talking to them about this assignment. No freaking way.
If she was going to tiptoe into this subject with anyone, she’d rather talk to another woman anyway. And that conversation would be much better to have face-to-face, an opportunity she was currently in.
Shelby had spent a lot of time with Viola on assignments and hanging out during down time. The woman was a heck of an agent and a good friend. Plus, she was also a woman. She couldn’t tell her everything. No way would Shelby even think of testing the female bonds of friendship by putting her colleague in an awkward position of having to report her. But maybe she could touch on some stuff without going into too much detail, talk about things she couldn’t really bring up in the middle of a status meeting in front of a bunch of men.
“Have you ever experienced anything, um, sexual of this magnitude?” Shelby finally asked. If she could somehow get a handle on her conflicted emotions, maybe it’d be easier for her to compartmentalize what was happening.
“No. Well, Dave once used my handcuffs on me while we were having sex. Big mistake. You know they pad the toy ones for a reason. My wrists got abraded, and we had to stop. It ended up killing the mood.”
No bureau issued handcuffs. Check.
“Why do you ask?” Viola frowned at her and put her fork down. Shelby didn’t like that look of concern crossing her colleague’s face. “Honey, if you need to talk to someone, you should go see the counselor. He’s trained to deal with law enforcement stressors.”
Shelby did not want a psych eval over this. “It’s okay. I’m just new to the lifestyle. A little curious how common it is.”
Viola arched a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “You’re not new to the lifestyle, honey. You’re investigating a person of interest.”
Shelby swallowed. “Right. Of course. I know that. I’m just trying to fully submerse myself into the case.”
Viola nodded and picked up her fork again. “Makes sense, I guess.” She stabbed at her salad.
Really? Because nothing made sense to Shelby. She was floundering in the sea of the unknown and didn’t know how she could wrap her head around everything.
As soon as she’d arrived home Friday night, she’d stripped out of her clothes and examined her backside. It had been covered in welts and various red marks. Her body tingled in ways she’d never felt before. She’d been spanked to the point of being turned on. Not only that, Mason ordering her around sexually had aroused her so quickly she’d been stunned by her immediate reaction. She’d never let a man tell her what to do, inside or outside the bedroom. But letting Mason take control had felt liberating. Yeah, that had been the word she couldn’t identify that night. Not uncomfortable like her report had been this morning, not unnatural like she’d assumed it would be. Liberating.
How was it even possible that giving a man that kind of control could be freeing? She thought of her upbringing, of all the men who worked at her dad’s garage, of all the boys she grew up with, and she couldn’t imagine letting a single one do anything like that to her. None of her past boyfriends either. Or fellow agents. Hell, not even any of the Bang Shift guys, and they were all big and cocky. It was as if Mason was the only one she could even picture in that role. And she didn’t have to imagine it. The man had truly mastered her. Body and soul. Rafe was just an instrument. Mason Showalter was the maestro.
Had he awakened something inside of her? Or was it really just him? She honestly didn’t know. It didn’t help at all that she was attracted to the man. As in seriously, ridiculously attracted.
Yeah, that was a big problem. If she was smart, she’d confess this little tidbit to Rick and remove herself from the investigation. But that wasn’t an option. This was her first major assignment, and she had to stay focused on getting the information the FBI needed on F and B.
What a mess.
“Sweetie, I think this case has to be screwing with your mind. If you don’t want to talk to the psychiatrist, I’m all ears.”
Shelby opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again. Viola was giving her the chance to relate everything as if she somehow knew Shelby needed to…what? Vent? That didn’t feel adequate. Venting required a certain amount of ranting, which meant she would have to understand what was happening to her enough to be at a point to rant.
She wasn’t. More than anything, she was confused. If she talked now, she’d open herself to a barrage of questions she couldn’t answer. Not because she didn’t want to, but because she was unable to, which was a big reason why she didn’t bring it up in the meeting and why she had to be vague about it all now.
Didn’t matter that talking about the specifics wasn’t an option with Viola. Even if she had someone outside of work to talk to, she doubted she could even begin to articulate what was going on. She’d have to get a handle on this all by herself.
“I’ll be okay.” There was no other option. She’d either power through and deal with all this after the assignment was over. Or…or she could use her time on this case to dig a little into her sexuality—to see if this was something she wanted to pursue in life or if she was just making the best out of the situation. There was no reason she couldn’t do both.
Viola’s lips pressed together in obvious disbelief. Shelby couldn’t blame her. The woman shouldn’t believe she was okay. After staring at her for several seconds, her head jerked in a quick nod. “All right. But invitation still stands. I have a feeling as this investigation continues, you’re going to need it.”
“You and me both,” Shelby muttered. “You and me both.”
“Carl keeps rambling on about the Culpeper Hedge Fund. Did you get it resolved?” William asked Mason as his boss sat across from him in his office Monday morning.
Friday night with Shelby had been damn near perfect, and he’d spent the rest of the weekend allowing himself to relive many of those precious moments in his head. If he had it to do over again, it would be to omit Rafe from the evening. But since he’d started Shelby’s four-part learning experience and submission test with the help of his partners, he couldn’t change the plan now. His colleagues would grow suspicious as to why he was suddenly acting like a dog guarding his favorite toy.
Which was exactly how he felt. He wasn’t one to believe in an immediate attraction like this, but he couldn’t explain his reaction to himself either. Shelby was a breathtakingly beaut
iful woman, one who wanted to experience something he lived for. When a Dom connected with a sub on that level, it was magical. Or so he’d always believed. He’d never felt like this with a new sub before. Or any woman prior to meeting Shelby. Feeling anything beyond the need to teach her the ways of the lifestyle wasn’t part of the deal, so he needed to stick to the new plan. As much as he hated the idea even more so now, his partners must be included in her scenes.
Those guys being there with Mason might keep him from becoming too attached to her. He couldn’t lose his control over his emotions. It was why he’d brought his partners in to assist. And yet…he couldn’t wait until this Friday when he’d be able to see her again.
Yes, he was conflicted. He didn’t like having a grasp on what was happening, but he’d taken measures to mitigate any damages. Now it was best to just put it aside and focus on work. No matter what, he was always the type of man that could shut down his personal side for business matters. And with Carl running around blabbing to anybody who’d listen, it was very important that Mason do just that. He squared his shoulders and looked at his boss. He’d dealt with Shelby as best he could, and now he must handle this issue. At least with business, he could be totally emotionless.
“There’s nothing to resolve. He found some things he thought looked suspicious and started throwing around dangerous words like fraud and front-running. I told him that Fieldstein and Baxter did not engage in illegal activity.” Mason stared at William. The silence stretched, thickening into something else. A challenge, he knew. But Mason refused to back down.
“Do you think he’s a threat?” William finally asked.
Mason shrugged as he shuffled some papers on his desk. “Don’t know. If he goes to the feds, it’d surely throw us into an audit. They protect whistleblowers and don’t think too kindly of people who are allegedly stealing money.”
“What do you propose we do? We can’t just let him go around waving a bunch of red flags.”
Mason crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. “Don’t worry, William. You asked me to handle this, and I’m on it.”
William glared at him. “Just what the hell are you going to do about it?”
It was time to dangle the carrot in front of the jack-ass-rabbit. “It’s best if you don’t know. The fewer people who are in on this, the better. Trust me. I know the score.” He leveled his stare, conveying with actions what words would not do.
The other man stood. “Don’t get fucking caught. I’m not spending time in jail over this shit.”
Got you. His response implied there were other shady dealings he deemed more worthy being involved in that could result in prison time. How the man lasted this long in business had Mason wondering just how far his treachery went. He readied himself for any clue William might drop.
“Sometimes, legality is just a frame of mind, William. There’s too much gray area for there to always be right and wrong. Don’t you agree?” He smiled as he remembered telling Shelby something similar the other night. It was interesting how many things didn’t fit into one mold or another, regardless of the topic.
His boss left without responding, and Mason just sat there staring after him. Well, shit. He’d hoped the man would say something more, something Mason could use. He’d have to utilize something better than a carrot of information if he wanted to keep William within his clutches.
God, sometimes Mason really hated this job. He loved the power and the money, but could really do without the bullshit, which included working for a man who was seriously beneath his intellectual level. The sooner William was gone, the sooner Mason would be closer to his professional goal.
He stood, walked over to his door, and locked it. When he returned to his desk, he dug into his briefcase for the cell phone given to him, and called the untraceable number saved on it. It stopped ringing after the second time it sounded, but no one spoke on the other end.
“He knows something,” Mason said in way of greeting. He didn’t like that things had come to this, but failure was not an option for him.
“We know he does,” the man he’d only met once replied. “Find out what.”
“He’s not talking.” Mason sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. No, William wasn’t talking yet, but he would. Mason was sure of it. “Did you take care of Carl?”
“Carl O’Brian is as good as dead.”
“Not good enough.”
“Don’t worry. Carl O’Brian will be found at the bottom of a ravine. There will be no more interference by him.”
At least one loose end had been severed. Maybe it had been a good idea to make a deal with the devil after all. “Good.”
Mason ended the call and collapsed into his chair. Oh, yeah. Legality was definitely a frame of mind.
Chapter Six
Sex was a complicated thing. Or so Shelby had discovered the moment she let Mason take her, seduce her, Friday night. Before she’d ever heard his name, her sex life was practically nonexistent. Not that she enjoyed it being like that. But prior to Mason mastering her body, what little sex she had engaged in had been nice. It wasn’t as if she had difficulty climaxing or that sex in general hadn’t been pleasant on those few occasions. Shelby wrinkled her nose as she took a sip of her coffee, and it wasn’t because of the brew. Nice. Pleasant. It was as if she’d been describing an evening with an okay book, not scratching a sexual itch. What woman her age thought of getting laid in those terms?
Obviously, one did. Her.
The only thing that had bothered Shelby about sex in her past was the frequency not the…what? Quality? She sighed. Thinking of it like that didn’t seem fair either. Nor did it help her ire any.
Words like nice and pleasant could in no way be mixed into the erotic tidal wave that was Mason. He was all-consuming, every touch—both gentle and hard—had demanded a response from her, and her body wouldn’t deny him. He’d taken what he wanted while giving her more than she’d ever gotten from a lover. He wasn’t her lover, though. He was a person of interest in the case she and the rest of her FBI team was assisting the SEC on. She’d do well not to forget that.
Though forgetting wasn’t the problem. Thoughts of Mason Showalter had consumed her to the point her body had hummed in remembrance of the heights of passion he’d shown her. Then reality would douse her like ice water being thrown in her face, and in its wake was guilt for not telling her boss and the rest of her team she’d actually had sex with Mason. The guilt would quickly vanish—after all Rick had all but ordered her to do the deed with Mason—leaving her swimming in her thoughts of that brown-haired, brown-eyed man. The cycle had been vicious, taunting her while she was at work, heating her in the middle of the night while sleep eluded her. She couldn’t get away from images of him. She’d cursed him for being so sexy and herself for not trying harder to ignore the memories haunting her. And when he wasn’t invading her thoughts while she was at home, she was looking up BDSM.
She’d learned a lot thanks to Google. Most just compounded her questions rather than answering them. Oh, she’d gained knowledge, but any extrapolation formed more uncertainty. One such example was subspace, as he’d called it. Now she understood what it was. She’d practically blacked out after reaching an amazing orgasm and had this almost surreal feeling of peace. Knowing what it was didn’t help her. Being in that state made her too vulnerable, more so than at any other time, which was saying a lot. She had to do her best to make sure it didn’t happen again. She couldn’t afford any states of near unconsciousness in the future.
However, said opportunity was based on a rather large assumption at this point because she hadn’t even spoken to him since she saw him on Friday.
Not. One. Word.
This past week she’d met with her team every day on the status of the investigation, though there hadn’t been much in the way of progress. Jerome Parker and his SEC team were knee-deep in Fieldstein and Baxter financial reports. The focus had been on the Culpeper Hedge Fund, but they were looking
at everything. As for her development with Mason, what else could she report? She hadn’t had any opportunity to get intel from him. If she hadn’t already sacrificed enough for this case, she’d feel as if she wasn’t pulling her weight, but that didn’t answer that lingering question. Why hadn’t he contacted her? She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She should be happy. Should.
She wasn’t. Was he not as affected by her as she was him? She already knew the answer to that. Why would he be? He was used to this lifestyle, had probably spanked, and screwed, hundreds of women over the years. She wasn’t anything special to him, just another woman who wanted to explore her submissive side. The fact that Mason wasn’t as consumed with her as Rick had suspected he would be didn’t look good for her either. She had an objective to get in—earn Mason’s trust, and find out what he knew. She couldn’t do that if what little time they spent together was of the naked kind. So yeah, she wasn’t happy about no contact. If her feelings were hurt, she ignored it and focused on the problems lack of contact caused her case.
She stopped staring blankly at her computer screen to glance at her phone again. She’d stopped counting the number of times she’d looked at it. It was Thursday. Tomorrow would be one week since the spanking scene. Why hadn’t he called with details of the next scene yet? He hadn’t said the scenes would all be on Fridays, just once a week. Now the week was nearing its end, and he still hadn’t called. Sure, she’d told him she’d see him next week, but she assumed he’d call her with some details. Was she supposed to just show up and hope he was there? She was going to go crazy waiting to hear something from him. Hell, she was already halfway to Crazy-ville.
“Whatcha doing?” Viola asked, startling her.
She dropped her phone onto her desk and picked up her coffee. “Nothing.”
“Don’t let Rick hear you say that.” Viola laughed. “He’ll start spouting off crap about not paying you to sit around.”