Shelby: A Forbidden FBI Bad Boy Romance (The Bang Shift Book 4)

by Mandy Harbin

  Too much to bear.

  Stars exploded behind her blindfold as her body seized. If she screamed while she came, it was overshadowed by his shout.

  Shelby wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he hunched over her while her body tingled in the aftermath, but slowly he disentangled himself and moved away. She felt cold without him as she listened to him rummage around the room, but she wasn’t alone long. He pulled her into his arms and she felt herself being lowered to the ground. A few tugs and snips and then she was free of everything except the blindfold. He pulled her into his lap before allowing her sight again, but with the first look in his eyes, she wished for the safety of the blindfold back. God, he looked so open. Emotions flew in his eyes as he searched hers. She felt a need to kiss him, but why she didn’t know. Instead, she licked her lips and asked, “Did I pass?”

  He blinked and the open window into is soul was shut again, but he smiled. “Yes, pet.”

  She missed the true openness as quickly as she’d feared its revelation, but she didn’t have time to analyze that. This wasn’t about her or him. Not really. It was about information. No matter how much her needs screamed otherwise, she knew her duty, and she would follow through. “And I’ll be staying the night?” She knew that was what he’d wanted, but she wasn’t going to assume that was still the case.

  “Unless you safe word out.” He stroked a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Although, I have to tell you, I’ll do everything in my power to keep that from happening.”

  He didn’t have to worry about that. Not yet anyway. “Good.” She glanced at her bag of massage oils and then back at him, but she could tell his eyes never wavered from her face. “Then it’s my turn to please you.”

  “It seems that requires minimal effort from you,” he whispered so softly that she wasn’t entirely sure it was meant for her ears. Though her heart pounded as if he’d shouted it from the rooftops.

  This assignment scared her. She’d known that from the moment she’d agreed to it. But this was the first time she’d been really scared of what could happen with this man…and her feelings toward him.

  Chapter Ten

  “Follow me,” Mason said once Shelby was finished putting her sexy as hell dress back on. He still couldn’t believe she’d thought ahead to wear something like that. No woman had ever grasped any foresight into what he’d like without being told first. It wasn’t so much that he liked role playing, but the effort she’d put into pleasing him.

  Besides the fact that, before Shelby, he wasn’t one to be surprised. It was a development he rather liked…with a woman he was growing attached to. It wasn’t smart, not with everything going on at the firm, but maybe spending some time with her would help keep his sanity. He’d do well not to overthink this. God knew his brain was already stretched to the max with other, less desirable thoughts.

  “Where are we going?” she asked once they reached the stairway to the next floor.

  He rubbed her back and kept his hand there to guide her up the stairs. “To the private rooms. We each have our own in case we don’t want to drive home for whatever reason.”

  “Oh, that’s good. I guess.”

  He didn’t miss the shiver that danced along her back as he rubbed her there. She was so fucking responsive. If he wasn’t careful, he could easily lose himself in her.

  What do you mean could? You’ve been panting over memories of her all week. Wasn’t that the damn truth. He’d laugh at himself if he could find the real humor in falling for a woman who wasn’t in the lifestyle. Yes, she was submissive, but having those tendencies did not a willing sub make. He’d always known he needed to exert his dominance in the bedroom. He never cared for it outside. Everyone’s needs were different, but his attachment to the life was purely sexual. A full-time sub was more work than he’d ever want to give. But with Shelby, he felt he was learning more about himself, too. With her, anything could be possible. There was so much to domination and submission that even with these four scenes, they wouldn’t scratch the kinky surface.

  And if she did go through with them all, then what? Would she walk away? Want more?

  Would he?

  She opened her mouth as if to ask something else, but shut it with a slight frown. Interesting. Why was she holding back her question? She obviously wondered about something. He hadn’t told her she couldn’t speak unless spoken to. Some Doms got off on that.

  Mason didn’t.

  No, he rather liked it when a woman was free to express herself. Unless in the bedroom…then all bets were off. He needed total control in that area, couldn’t afford to let that go.

  Then why are you letting other Master Doms conduct scenes with your sub?

  He knew why…because no matter how much a part of him wanted it—her—he knew she wasn’t his. He was pursuing play, not courting a woman. He just hoped repeating it enough times to himself would drill that point home.

  “What is it, pet?” he finally asked when it became apparent she wasn’t going to speak without encouragement.

  Her gaze danced around as they came to a stop at his door. “I thought we’d be going back to your place.”

  He chuckled when she shrugged delicately. She was trying to play coy, but he could see right through her. He opened the door and motioned for her to enter as he turned on the lights. “I think you’ll like it.”

  She gasped and he smiled, though she didn’t see it. She was too busy walking in and turning in circles, looking at the room. “Wow,” she breathed.

  Her bag fell to the floor.

  He tossed his keys onto the side table. “My partners and I wanted comfortable rooms to stay in. No sleazy motel vibe.”

  She looked over her shoulder at him, blushing slightly. “I didn’t mean… Well, I mean it’s lovely,” she said quickly as she turned back around, looking out the picture window to the grounds below.

  “It’s hardly a penthouse suite, but it’ll do. There’s a kitchen to your left and a bedroom suite to the right.” They were standing in the living area, which made up the rest of his private room at the club. It was decorated in warm, neutral colors, but the features the space had were top of the line.

  “This looks bigger than my apartment,” she mumbled. He didn’t think she was talking to him, so he didn’t respond to her comment.

  “Are you hungry?”

  She seemed to pull herself out of her reverie when she turned to face him. “No. I might want something to eat later, but for now, I’d like to give you a something special instead.”

  Mason’s dick twitched. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this turned on by a woman, but he willed it down. Shelby wanted to treat him to a massage, and he wasn’t going to turn something she did for a living into a kinky game.

  But she wore a costume.

  He tamped that thought down, too. If Shelby wanted to turn this into something playful, then he was all for it, but he wouldn’t go into this with the expectation. He’d let her define the boundaries because this wasn’t a scene and he didn’t have to control it.

  But if she turned it into sex, then he’d master her.

  “I didn’t bring a table. We’ll have to do this on your bed.” The sly smile was very cute on her, and it immediately helped him relax the sudden and unfamiliar nerves. This was her show now, and he’d lie back and enjoy it.

  “That works for me.” He winked at her. “It’s this way.” He started for the bedroom and had to stop himself from taking her hand. He’d had massages before, so he’d give her the professional courtesy he had any other therapist he’d seen. But that didn’t stop him from grabbing her bag and carrying it for her. After walking into the bedroom, he set the bag on the edge of the bed. Shelby clutched it and opened it.

  “Why don’t you tell me if you have pain anywhere specific,” she said as she pulled out various bottles, focused on her task.

  He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t usually get asked that. Normally, I take off my s
hirt and they just start rubbing.”

  She looked up then with a crooked smile. “But I’m asking you.”

  Dropping his hand, he said, “Fair enough. I guess my back is a little stiff.” Another part of him was already trying to get that way as well with the knowledge her hands would soon be on his body. He cleared his throat. He was doing a piss poor job of not trashing her profession. She’d asked him a legitimate question, and he needed to answer it. Admitting to a few aches and pains didn’t make him less of a man. “My thighs ache sometimes from sitting down so long at my office.”

  She squirted something onto her hands and rubbed them together as she nodded. “Okay, we’ll start with you lying face down.” She put a few select bottles on the nightstand and slipped her bag off the bed and onto the floor. “Take off your clothes.”

  He quirked an eyebrow at her as he started unbuttoning his shirt. “That sounded like an order, pet.”

  She blushed, glancing away. “Please,” she whispered.

  “I didn’t mean to embarrass you, Shelby. You don’t have to hide from me.” He shucked his shirt and started on his pants. It didn’t slip past him that he usually undressed without an audience before a massage, but this wasn’t a typical session and he wasn’t shy. He liked that she appeared to be, though.

  “Would you like me to get you a towel to cover up?” she asked when he pushed his pants and underwear down.

  “Not necessary.” He climbed onto the bed face down as instructed. “Unless you’d feel more comfortable,” he amended.

  “Not necessary,” she mocked playfully before crawling onto the bed beside him.

  The moment her hands touched his back, he groaned. It wasn’t a timid touch of a shy woman. It was a skillful kneading of a person who knew exactly what she was doing. He was lost, transfixed as she worked knot after knot out of his back. Any remnant of sexual desire evaporated as he allowed himself to fully accept her handiwork.

  “You’re so tense.”

  His chuckle ended on a groan. “You’re very good at this.”

  “When’s the last time you visited a therapist?”

  “Er, I don’t know. A few months maybe.”

  She huffed. “You should see somebody regularly. At least once a month.”

  “Are you offering?” If she was the one tending to his screaming muscles, he’d make the effort to go.

  She laughed. “Um, no. I’m booked the next two months. You need to see someone sooner. I can refer you if you don’t have somebody else in mind.”

  “What if you were the only one I wanted?” Jesus, even saying those words on something unrelated to relationships made his heart race.

  She paused, and he watched as she got more oil. He saw her nibble her lip before she was out of sight, tending to him again, and he wondered if it was a nervous reaction to the words he’d uttered. Still, he waited for her to reply. He was nothing if not patient.

  “Why don’t we table that until after you’re through schooling me on the next two scenes? I don’t want you to give me an unfair advantage because you’re getting something in return.”

  “Pet, I am getting something in return already,” he said softly.

  Her hands stilled at the husky sound of his voice. He’d been doing really well not getting turned on, but talking of wanting her in any capacity fueled his lust. That’s all it was. That was all it could be.

  “So tell me about your family,” she blurted as she moved up to his shoulders.

  He’d let her diversion tactic fly and indulge her. Hell, he needed the distraction himself. “Not much to tell. Parents moved to Maine after my brother died in Afghanistan.” He hadn’t seen his parents very often since. They’d closed off after Caleb died, and he’d been too career-focused to make extra time for them.

  “So you’re not from the east coast?”

  “No. Grew up in Louisiana.” That seemed like a lifetime ago. Hell, it was. He’d rather not delve too much into his past. Instead, he flipped the conversation to her. “What about you?”

  “Darrell and Viola are like family.” She stopped moving her hands but kept them there. He couldn’t see her, but he got the feeling she’d revealed more than she wanted by how she’d stiffened.

  “Who are they?”

  Her hands started moving slowly. “Friends.” She cleared her throat, and her attention to his back returned to the level she’d displayed before mentioning those people. “Um, I mean, I have family, but I don’t see them much. I met Darrell shortly after graduating high school, and he took me under his wing. Viola is another massage therapist. We worked together at the same clinic last year.”

  It didn’t escape him that she’d completely avoided the topic of family and mentioned friends instead. Although he didn’t care for that, he especially didn’t like the mention of this other man even more. “What’s your relationship with Darrell?” he asked, hoping he hadn’t barked the question at her.

  “What do you mean?” She stilled again.

  “Is he your lover?”

  She gasped, and he wondered if he’d offended her, but then she guffawed, and he realized her gasp had been an inhale for her laughter. “God no. He’s too old. And bossy as hell. He’s more like a helpful uncle if anything.”

  Mason knew he was being possessive, but he couldn’t help the emotions rushing through him. If she relied on someone for help, he wanted to be the one she turned to, not some other man.

  It wasn’t right. He was fully aware he could not be with her or any woman until the mess at F and B was handled. Knowing it, however, didn’t stop him from having that carnal reaction to her.

  “Okay, turn over and scoot down so I can sit behind your head. Please,” she added softly.

  “Good girl,” he said, smiling as he rolled over and adjusted himself. He shoved all errant thoughts into the deepest recesses of his mind as she maneuvered into a new position. He had plenty of shit to fret about regarding work to have time to focus on anything else.

  She dug her hands under his neck and rubbed. He liked this position much better because he could see her, watch her reaction as they talked. She touched a spot that was tender and he did his best not to grimace, but she frowned anyway. “Care to tell me what has you so stressed? I’m a good listener.”

  He half-smiled at her. “I’m not stressed.”

  “Your neck says otherwise.” She dug into that spot harder, and he clenched his fists at the sudden pain. “Relax,” she murmured.

  Jesus, how could he relax when she was ripping his head off? But as she continued, the pain lessened and the knot disappeared.

  “Since you don’t talk to your family and you’re not married, I’m going to guess it has something to do with work.”

  He sighed. She wasn’t completely wrong. “Yeah, but you don’t want to know.”

  She licked her lips. “No,” she said easily. “You will probably bore me to tears.” Then she stopped and looked down at him. “And if you start talking about derivatives and shit, I’ll know you’re doing it just to be mean, so I’ll have to squirt oil in your eyes as payback.” He laughed, and her eyes twinkled back at him as she fought a smile. “But,” she said as she continued rubbing his neck, “if something is bothering you, you should let it out. You’d be surprised how just talking about something can relieve tension.”

  “I think my boss is up to no good,” he said, shutting his eyes as she went back to rubbing his neck. Apparently, releasing tension in his neck also loosened his tongue.

  “Up to no good how?”

  When he didn’t reply immediately, she moved her hands from his neck to his chest, rubbing just above his pecs. He kept his eyes shut as she worked, but he wondered how much he could say without giving anything away. Too much was riding on him to take William down at all cost, now more than ever.

  Fuck, he’d already said too much. If Shelby knew anything, someone could hurt her. Carl knew too much and had to be dealt with already. The thought of anybody hurting one hair on Shelby�
��s head ignited fury. He couldn’t chance it. He was in too deep and wouldn’t tarnish any part of her with his dealings. He was getting close to her, and that was the problem. He had to put a stop to it, lock down his emotions.

  Her hands traveled lower, caressing him on their path south. When she wrapped her oiled hands around his straining shaft, more tension flooded him, rather than leaving. He strained up into her grasp as she began to pump him because it had felt too good not to. He loved what she did to him, and he hated that. How could he push her away when he craved her so?

  “Mason,” she breathed, moaned, and his gaze flew up to her, yanking him out of his passionate haze with stark reality. He grabbed her hair, directing her to look at him.

  “No,” he bit out through gritted teeth. Her shocked expression tugged at his heart, which only spurred him on. “Don’t call me that, Shelby. When it comes to sex, I am your Master.” She let go of him, and he continued, “You’re getting too close. This is not a relationship.” His admonishment was as much for her as it was for himself. When she blinked a few times, he let go of her hair. Without looking at her, he rolled off the bed and stood. He needed distance right fucking now. “I think tonight was a mistake.”

  Her mouth dropped open, and her struggle for words was apparent as she quickly shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she finally whispered, and looked down.

  “We’re done.” He hated it, but pushing her away was his only choice. He reached for his pants and pulled them on. “I’ll talk to my associates about finding you another Dom.” He didn’t like backing out of their arrangement. It went against his responsibilities as a Dom, but it couldn’t be helped. Losing control was not a mistake he could afford to make.

  “No.” Her head snapped up. “You promised.” Her hands fisted beside her. The defiance she displayed toyed with his emotions on so many levels.

  “You’re in no position to fight me on this.”

  “I don’t want to fight with you at all,” she murmured as she relaxed her hands. “Please don’t stop this. I trust you, and I want to keep going. I wouldn’t be able to do this with anybody else. Not yet. I need you to help me, Master.”