They are resolv’d to batter down the gate.
SCENE VI. — KING, QUEEN, HUNCAMUNCA, NOODLE.
King. See where the princess comes! Where is Tom Thumb?
Hunc. Oh! sir, about an hour and half ago
He sallied out t’ encounter with the foe,
And swore, unless his fate had him misled,
From Grizzle’s shoulders to cut off his head,
And serve’t up with your chocolate in bed.
King. ‘Tis well, I found one devil told us both. Come, Dollallolla, Huncamunca, come; Within we’ll wait for the victorious Thumb; In peace and safety we secure may stay, While to his arm we trust the bloody fray; Though men and giants should conspire with gods, He is alone equal to all these odds.
[Footnote 1:
“Credat Judaeus Appella,
Non ego,”
says Mr D — . “For, passing over the absurdity of being equal to odds, can we possibly suppose a little insignificant fellow — I say again, a little insignificant fellow — able to vie with a strength which all the Samsons and Herculeses of antiquity would be unable to encounter?” I shall refer this incredulous critick to Mr Dryden’s defence of his Almanzor; and, lest that should not satisfy him, I shall quote a few lines from the speech of a much braver fellow than Almanzor, Mr Johnson’s Achilles:
Though human race rise in embattled hosts,
To force her from my arms — Oh! son of Atreus!
By that immortal pow’r, whose deathless spirit
Informs this earth, I will oppose them all. — Victim.
]
Queen. He is, indeed, a helmet to us all;
While he supports we need not fear to fall;
His arm despatches all things to our wish?
And serves up ev’ry foe’s head in a dish.
Void is the mistress of the house of care,
While the good cook presents the bill of fare;
Whether the cod, that northern king of fish,
Or duck, or goose, or pig, adorn the dish,
No fears the number of her guests afford,
But at her hour she sees the dinner on the board.
[Footnote 1: “I have heard of being supported by a staff,” says Mr
D., “but never of being supported by a helmet.” I believe he never
heard of sailing with wings, which he may read in no less a poet than
Mr Dryden:
Unless we borrow wings, and sail through air.
— Love Triumphant.
What will he say to a kneeling valley?
—— I’ll stand
Like a safe valley, that low bends the knee
To some aspiring mountain. — Injured Love.
I am ashamed of so ignorant a carper, who doth not know that an epithet in tragedy is very often no other than an expletive. Do not we read in the New Sophonisba of “grinding chains, blue plagues, white occasions, and blue serenity?” Nay, it is not the adjective only, but sometimes half a sentence is put by way of expletive, as, “Beauty pointed high with spirit,” in the same play; and, “In the lap of blessing, to be most curst,” in the Revenge. ]
SCENE VII. — Plain. — GRIZZLE, FOODLE, Rebels.
Griz. Thus far our arms with victory are crown’d; For, though we have not fought, yet we have found No enemy to fight withal.
[Footnote 1: A victory like that of Almanzor: Almanzor is victorious without fight. — Conq. of Granada. ]
Food. Yet I, Methinks, would willingly avoid this day, This first of April, to engage our foes.
[Footnote 1: Well have we chose an happy day for fight;
For every man, in course of time, has found
Some days are lucky, some unfortunate. — King Arthur.
]
Griz. This day, of all the days of th’ year, I’d choose, For on this day my grandmother was born. Gods! I will make Tom Thumb an April-fool; Will teach his wit an errand it ne’er knew, And send it post to the Elysian shades.
[Footnote 1: We read of such another in Lee:
Teach his rude wit a flight she never made,
And send her post to the Elysian shade. — Gloriana.
]
Food. I’m glad to find our army is so stout, Nor does it move my wonder less than joy.
Griz. What friends we have, and how we came so strong, I’ll softly tell you as we march along.
[Footnote 1: These lines are copied verbatim in the Indian Emperor.]
SCENE VIII. — Thunder and Lightning. — TOM THUMB, GLUMDALCA, cum suis.
Thumb. Oh, Noodle! hast thou seen a day like this? The unborn thunder rumbles o’er our heads, As if the gods meant to unhinge the world, And heaven and earth in wild confusion hurl; Yet will I boldly tread the tott’ring ball.
[Footnote 1: Unborn thunder rolling in a cloud. — Conq. of Granada. ]
[Footnote 2:
Were heaven and earth in wild confusion hurl’d, Should the rash gods unhinge the rolling world, Undaunted would I tread the tott’ring ball, Crush’d, but unconquer’d, in the dreadful fall. — Female Warrior. ]
Merl. Tom Thumb!
Thumb. What voice is this I hear?
Merl. Tom Thumb!
Thumb. Again it calls.
Merl. Tom Thumb!
Glum. It calls again.
Thumb. Appear, whoe’er thou art; I fear thee not.
Merl. Thou hast no cause to fear — I am thy friend, Merlin by name, a conjuror by trade, And to my art thou dost thy being owe.
Thumb. How!
Merl. Hear, then, the mystick getting of Tom Thumb.
His father was a ploughman plain,
His mother milk’d the cow;
And yet the way to get a son
This couple knew not how,
Until such time the good old man
To learned Merlin goes,
And there to him, in great distress,
In secret manner shows
How in his heart he wish’d to have
A child, in time to come,
To be his heir, though it may be
No bigger than his thumb:
Of which old Merlin was foretold
That he his wish should have;
And so a son of stature small
The charmer to him gave.
Thou’st heard the past — look up and see the future.
[Footnote 1: See the History of Tom Thumb, page 2.]
Thumb. Lost in amazement’s gulf, my senses sink; See there, Glumdalca, see another me!
[Footnote 1:
Amazement swallows up my sense,
And in the impetuous whirl of circling fate
Drinks down my reason. — Persian Princess.
]
[Footnote 2:
I have outfaced myself.
What! am I two? Is there another me? — King Arthur.
]
Glum. Oh, sight of horror! see, you are devour’d By the expanded jaws of a red cow.
Merl. Let not these sights deter thy noble mind, For, lo! a sight more glorious courts thy eyes. See from afar a theatre arise; There ages, yet unborn, shall tribute pay To the heroick actions of this day; Then buskin tragedy at length shall chuse Thy name the best supporter of her muse.
[Footnote 1: The character of Merlin is wonderful throughout; but most so in this prophetick part. We find several of these prophecies in the tragick authors, who frequently take this opportunity to pay a compliment to their country, and sometimes to their prince. None but our author (who seems to have detested the least appearance of flattery) would have past by such an opportunity of being a political prophet.]
Thumb. Enough: let every warlike musick sound, We fall contented, if we fall renown’d.
SCENE IX. — LORD GRIZZLE, FOODLE, Rebels, on one side; TOM THUMB, GLUMDALCA, on the other.
Food. At length the enemy advances nigh, I hear them with my ear, and see them with my eye.
[Footnote 1:
I saw the villain, Myron; with these eyes I saw him.
In both which places it is intimated that it is sometimes possible to see with other eyes than your own. ]
Griz. Draw all your swords: for liberty we fight, And liberty the mustard is of life.
[Footnote 1: “This mustard,” says Mr D., “is enough to turn one’s stomach. I would be glad to know what idea the author had in his head when he wrote it.” This will be, I believe, best explained by a line of Mr Dennis:
And gave him liberty, the salt of life. — Liberty Asserted.
The understanding that can digest the one will not rise at the other.]
Thumb. Are you the man whom men famed Grizzle name?
Griz. Are you the much more famed Tom Thumb?
[Footnote 1:
Han. Are you the chief whom men famed Scipio call?
Scip. Are you the much more famous Hannibal?
— Hannibal.
]
Thumb. The same.
Griz. Come on; our worth upon ourselves we’ll prove; For liberty I fight.
Thumb. And I for love.
[A bloody engagement between the two armies here; drums beating, trumpets sounding, thunder and lightning. They fight off and on several times. Some fall. GRIZ. and GLUM. remain.
Glum. Turn, coward, turn; nor from a woman fly.
Griz. Away — thou art too ignoble for my arm.
Glum. Have at thy heart.
Griz. Nay, then I thrust at thine.
Glum. You push too well; you’ve run me through the guts, And I am dead.
Griz. Then there’s an end of one.
Thumb. When thou art dead, then there’s an end of two, Villain.
[Footnote 1: Dr. Young seems to have copied this engagement in his
Busiris:
Myr. Villain! Mem. Myron! Myr. Rebel! Mem. Myron! Myr. Hell! Mem. Mandane! ]
Griz. Tom Thumb!
Thumb. Rebel!
Griz. Tom Thumb!
Thumb. Hell!
Griz. Huncamunca!
Thumb. Thou hast it there.
Griz. Too sure I feel it.
Thumb. To hell then, like a rebel as you are, And give my service to the rebels there.
Griz. Triumph not, Thumb, nor think thou shalt enjoy, Thy Huncamunca undisturb’d; I’ll send My ghost to fetch her to the other world; It shall but bait at heaven, and then return. But, ha! I feel death rumbling in my brains: Some kinder sprite knocks softly at my soul, And gently whispers it to haste away. I come, I come, most willingly I come. So when some city wife, for country air, To Hampstead or to Highgate does repair, Her to make haste her husband does implore, And cries, “My dear, the coach is at the door:” With equal wish, desirous to be gone, She gets into the coach, and then she cries— “Drive on!”
[Footnote 1: This last speech of my lord Grizzle hath been of great service to our poets:
I’ll hold it fast As life, and when life’s gone I’ll hold this last; And if thou tak’st it from me when I’m slain, I’ll send my ghost, and fetch it back again. — Conquest of Granada. ]
[Footnote 2: My soul should with such speed obey,
It should not bait at heaven to stop its way.
Lee seems to have had this last in his eye:
‘Twas not my purpose, sir, to tarry there; I would but go to heaven to take the air. — Gloriana. ]
[Footnote 3: A rising vapour rumbling in my brains. — Cleomenes. ]
[Footnote 4:
Some kind sprite knocks softly at my soul,
To tell me fate’s at hand.
]
[Footnote 5: Mr Dryden seems to have had this simile in his eye, when he says,
My soul is packing up, and just on wing. — Conquest of Granada. ]
Thumb. With those last words he vomited his soul,
Which, like whipt cream, the devil will swallow down.
Bear off the body, and cut off the head,
Which I will to the king in triumph lug.
Rebellion’s dead, and now I’ll go to breakfast.
[Footnote 1: And in a purple vomit pour’d his soul — Cleomenes. ]
[Footnote 2: The devil swallows vulgar souls Like whipt cream. — Sebastian. ]
SCENE X. — KING, QUEEN, HUNCAMUNCA, Courtiers.
King. Open the prisons, set the wretched free,
And bid our treasurer disburse six pounds
To pay their debts. — Let no one weep to-day.
Come, Dollallolla; curse that odious name!
It is so long, it asks an hour to speak it.
By heavens! I’ll change it into Doll, or Loll,
Or any other civil monosyllable,
That will not tire my tongue. — Come, sit thee down.
Here seated let us view the dancers’ sports;
Bid ‘em advance. This is the wedding-day
Of Princess Huncamunca and Tom Thumb;
Tom Thumb! who wins two victories to-day,
And this way marches, bearing Grizzle’s head.
[A dance here.
[Footnote 1:
How I could curs my name of Ptolemy!
It is so long, it asks an hour to write it,
By Heaven! I’ll change it into Jove or Mars!
Or any other civil monosyllable,
That will not tire my hand.
— Cleomenes.
]
[Footnote 2: Here is a visible conjunction of two days in one, by which our author may have either intended an emblem of a wedding, or to insinuate that men in the honey-moon are apt to imagine time shorter than it is. It brings into my mind a passage in the comedy called the Coffee-House Politician: We will celebrate this day at my house to-morrow. ]
[Illustration: The Death of Lord Grizzle.]
Nood. Oh! monstrous, dreadful, terrible, oh! oh! Deaf be my ears, for ever blind my eyes! Dumb be my tongue! feet lame! all senses lost! Howl wolves, grunt bears, hiss snakes, shriek all ye ‘ghosts!
[Footnote 1: These beautiful phrases are all to be found in one single speech of King Arthur, or the British Worthy.]
King. What does the blockhead mean?
Nood. I mean, my liege,
Only to grace my tale with decent horror.
Whilst from my garret, twice two stories high,
I look’d abroad into the streets below,
I saw Tom Thumb attended by the mob;
Twice twenty shoe-boys, twice two dozen links,
Chairmen and porters, hackney-coachmen, whores;
Aloft he bore the grizly head of Grizzle;
When of a sudden through the streets there came
A cow, of larger than the usual size,
And in a moment — guess, oh! guess the rest! —
And in a moment swallow’d up Tom Thumb.
[Footnote 1:
I was but teaching him to grace his tale
With decent horror. — Cleomenes.
]
King. Shut up again the prisons, bid my treasurer
Not give three farthings out-hang all the culprits,
Guilty or not — no matter. — Ravish virgins:
Go bid the schoolmasters whip all their boys!
Let lawyers, parsons, and physicians loose,
To rob, impose on, and to kill the world.
Nood. Her majesty the queen is in a swoon.
Queen. Not so much in a swoon but I have still Strength to reward the messenger of ill news.
[Kills NOODLE.
Nood. O! I am slain.
Cle. My lover’s kill’d, I will revenge him so. [Kills the QUEEN.
Hunc. My mamma kill’d! vile murderess, beware.
[Kills CLEORA.
Dood. This for an old grudge to thy heart. [Kills HUNCAMUNCA.
Must. And this I drive to thine, O Doodle! for a new one. [Kills DOODLE.
King. Ha! murderess vile, take that. [Kills MUST.
And take thou this. [Kills himself, and falls.
So when the child, whom nurse from danger guards,
Sends Jack for mustard
with a pack of cards,
Kings, queens, and knaves, throw one another down,
Till the whole pack lies scatter’d and o’erthrown;
So all our pack upon the floor is cast,
And all I boast is — that I fall the last. [Dies.
[Footnote 1: We may say with Dryden,
Death did at length so many slain forget,
And left the tale, and took them by the great.
I know of no tragedy which comes nearer to this charming and bloody catastrophe than Cleomenes, where the curtain covers five principal characters dead on the stage. These lines too —
I ask no questions then, of who kill’d who?
The bodies tell the story as they lie —
seem to have belonged more properly to this scene of our author; nor can I help imagining they were originally his, The Rival Ladies, too, seem beholden to this scene:
Complete Fictional Works of Henry Fielding Page 257