HARRIET. If you have any reason, madam, to be ashamed of your choice, it is from denying it. My brother is every way worthy of you, madam; and give me leave to tell you, if I can prevent it, you shall not render him as ridiculous to the town as you have some other of your admirers.
FREDERICK. Dear Harriet, carry it no farther; you will ruin me for ever with her.
HARRIET. Away, you do not know the sex. Her vanity will make you play the fool till she despises you, and then contempt will destroy her affection for you — It is a part she has often played.
MARIANA. I am obliged to you, however, madam, for the lesson you have given me, how far I may depend on a woman’s friendship. It will be my own fault if ever I am deceived hereafter.
HARRIET. My friendship, madam, naturally cools, when I discover its object less worthy than I imagined her. I can never have any violent esteem for one, who would make herself unhappy, to make the person who dotes on her more so; the ridiculous custom of the world is a poor excuse for such a behaviour. And, in my opinion, the coquette, who sacrifices the ease and reputation of as many as she is able to an ill-natured vanity, is a more odious, I am sure she is a more pernicious creature, than the wretch whom fondness betrays to make her lover happy at the expense of her own reputation.
SCENE IX.
To them, Mrs. Wisely, Clermont.
MRS. WISELY. Upon my word, sir, you have a most excellent taste for pictures.
MARIANA. I can bear this no longer; if you have been base enough to have given up all friendship and honour, good breeding should have restrained you from using me after this inhumane, cruel, barbarous manner.
MRS. WISELY. Bless me! child, what’s the matter?
HARRIET. Let me intreat you, Mariana, not to expose yourself; you have nothing to complain of on his side; and therefore pray let the whole be a secret.
MARIANA. A secret! no, madam. The whole world shall know how I have been treated. I thank Heaven I have it in my power to be revenged on you; and if I am not revenged on you —
FREDERICK. See, sister, was I not in the right? Did I not tell you, you would ruin me? and now you have done it.
HARRIET. Courage! all will go well yet. You must not be frightened at a few storms. These are only blasts that carry a lover to his harbour.
SCENE X.
To them, LOVEGOLD.
LOVEGOLD. I ask your pardon, I have despatched my business with all possible haste.
MRS. WISELY. I did not expect, Mr. Lovegold, when we were invited hither, that your children intended to affront us.
LOVEGOLD. Has any one affronted you, madam?
MRS. WISELY. Your children, sir, have used my poor girl so ill, that they have brought tears into her eyes. I can assure you we are not used to be treated in this manner. My daughter is of as good a family —
LOVEGOLD. Out of my sight, audacious, vile wretches, and let me never see you again.
FREDERICK. Sir, I
LOVEGOLD. I won’t hear a word, and I wish I may never hear you more. Was ever such impudence, to dare, after what I have told you —
HARRIET. Come, brother; perhaps I may give you some comfort.
FREDERICK. I fear you have destroyed it for ever.
SCENE XI.
LOVEGOLD, MRS. WISELY, MARIANA, CLERMONT.
LOVEGOLD. How shall I make you amends for the rudeness you have suffered? Poor, pretty creature! had they stolen my purse, I would almost as soon have pardoned them.
MRS. WISELY. The age is come to a fine pass, indeed, if children are to control the wills of their parents. If I would have consented to a second match, I would have been glad to have seen a child of mine oppose it.
LOVEGOLD. Let us be married immediately, my dear; and if after that they ever dare to offend you, they shall stay no longer under my roof.
MRS. WISELY. Lookee, Mariana, I know your consent will appear a little sudden, and not altogether conform to those nice rules of decorum, of which I have been all my life so strict an observer: but this is so prudent a match, that the world will be apt to give you a dispensation. When women seem too forward to run away with idle young fellows, the world is, as it ought to be, very severe on them; but when they only consult their interest in their consent, though it be never so quickly given, we say, La! who suspected it? it was mighty privately carried on.
MARIANA. I resign myself entirely over to your will, madam, and am at your disposal.
MRS. WISELY. Mr. Lovegold, my daughter is a little shy on this occasion; you know your courtship has not been of any long date; but she has considered your great merit, and I believe I may venture to give you her consent.
LOVEGOLD. And shall I? hey! I begin to find myself the happiest man upon earth. Oh! madam, you shall be a grandmother within these ten months. I am a very young fellow.
MARIANA. If you were five years younger, I should utterly detest you.
LOVEGOLD. The very creature she was described to be. No one, sure, ever so luckily found a mass of treasure as I have. My pretty sweet, if you will walk a few minutes in the garden I will wait on you; I must give some necessary orders to my clerk.
MRS. WISELY. We shall expect you with impatience.
SCENE XII.
LOVEGOLD, CLERMONT.
LOVEGOLD. Clermont, come hither: you see the disorder my house is likely to be in this evening. I must trust every thing to your care; see that matters be managed with as small expense as possible. My extravagant son has sent for fruit, sweetmeats, and tokay. Take care what is not eat or drunk be returned to the tradespeople. If you can save a bottle of the wine, let that be sent back too, and put up what is left; if part of a bottle, in a pint; that I will keep for my own drinking when I am sick. Be sure that the servants of my guests be not asked to come farther than the hall, for fear some of mine should ask them to eat. I trust every thing to you.
CLERMONT. I shall take all the care possible, sir. But there is one thing in this entertainment of yours, which gives me inexpressible pain.
LOVEGOLD. What is that, pr’ythee?
CLERMONT. That is the cause of it. Give me leave, sir, to be free on this occasion. I am sorry a man of your years and prudence should be prevailed on to so indiscreet an action, as I fear this marriage will be called.
LOVEGOLD. I know she has not quite so great a fortune as I might expect.
CLERMONT. Has she any fortune, sir?
LOVEGOLD. O! yes, yes, I have been very well assured that her mother is in very good circumstances: and you know she is her only daughter. Besides, she has several qualities which will save a fortune. And a penny saved is a penny got. Since I find I have great occasion for a wife, I might have searched all over this town, and not have got one cheaper.
CLERMONT. Sure, you are in a dream, sir; she save a fortune!
LOVEGOLD. In the article of a table, at least two hundred pounds a year.
CLERMONT. Sure, sir, you do not know —
LOVEGOLD. In clothes, two hundred more —
CLERMONT. There is not, sir, in the whole town —
LOVEGOLD. In jewels, one hundred; play, five hundred; these have been all proved to me; besides all that her mother is worth. In short, I have made a very prudent choice.
CLERMONT. Do but, hear me, sir.
LOVEGOLD. Take a particular care of the family, my good boy. Pray, let there be nothing wasted.
SCENE XIII.
CLERMONT. [Alone.] How vainly do we spend our breath, while passion shuts the ears of those we talk to. I thought it impossible for any thing to have surmounted his avarice; but I find there is one little passion, which reigns triumphant in every mind it creeps into; and whether a man be covetous, proud, or cowardly, it is in the power of woman to make him liberal, humble, and brave. Sure this young lady will not let her fury carry her into the arms of a wretch she despises; but, as she is a coquette, there is no answering for any of her actions. I will hasten to acquaint Frederick with what I have heard. Poor man, how little satisfaction he finds in his mistress, compared to what
I meet in Harriet. Love to him is misery, to me perfect happiness. Women are always one or the other; they are never indifferent.
Whoever takes for better and for worse
Meets with the greatest blessing or the greatest curse.
ACT IV.
SCENE I.
A Hall in LOVEGOLD’S House.
FREDERICK, RAMILIE.
FREDERICK. How! Lappet my enemy! and can she attempt to forward Mariana’s marriage with my father?
RAMILIE. Sir, upon my honour it is true. She told it me in the highest confidence; a trust, sir, which nothing but the inviolable friendship I have for you could have prevailed with me to have broken.
FREDERICK. Sir, I am your most humble servant; I am infinitely obliged to your friendship.
RAMILIE. Oh! sir; but really I did withstand pretty considerable offers: for, would you think it, sir, the jade had the impudence to attempt to engage me too in the affair: I believe, sir, you would have been pleased to have heard the answer I gave her. Madam, says I, do you think if I had no more honour, I should have no greater regard to my interest? It is my interest, madam, says I, to be honest; for my master is a man of that generosity, that liberality, that bounty, that I am sure he will never suffer any servant of his to be a loser by being true to him. No, no, says I; let him alone for rewarding a servant, when he is but once assured of his fidelity.
FREDERICK. No demands now, Ramilie; I shall find a time to reward you.
RAMILIE. That was what I told her, sir. Do you think, says I, this old rascal (I ask your pardon, sir), that this hunks, my master’s father, will live for ever? And then, says I, do you think my master will not remember his old friends?
FREDERICK. Well, but, dear sir, let us have no more of your rhetoric — go and fetch Lappet hither. I’ll try if I can’t bring her over.
RAMILIE. Bring her over! a fig for her, sir. I have a plot worth fifty of yours. I’ll blow her up with your father. I’ll make him believe just the contrary of every word she has told him.
FREDERICK. Can you do that?
RAMILIE. Never fear it, sir; I’ll warrant my lies keep even pace with hers. But, sir, I have another plot; I don’t question but before you sleep, I shall put you in possession of some thousands of your father’s money.
FREDERICK. He has done all in his power to provoke me to it; but I am afraid that will be carrying the jest too far.
RAMILIE. Sir, I will undertake to make it out that robbing him is a downright meritorious act. Besides, sir, if you have any qualms of conscience, you may return it him again. Your having possession of it will bring him to any terms.
FREDERICK. Well, well. I believe there is little danger of thy stealing any thing from him. So about the first affair. It is that only which causes my present pain.
RAMILIE. Fear nothing, sir, whilst Ramilie is your friend.
SCENE II.
FREDERICK, CLERMONT.
FREDERICK. If impudence can give a title to success, I am sure thou hast a good one.
CLERMONT. Oh! Frederick, I have been looking for you all over the house. I have news for you, which will give me pain to discover, though it is necessary you should know it. In short, Mariana has determined to marry your father this evening.
FREDERICK. How! Oh! Clermont, is it possible? Cursed be the politics of my sister, she is the innocent occasion of this. And can Mariana from a pique to her throw herself away! Dear Clermont, give me some advice, think on some method by which I may prevent, at least defer, this match; for that moment which gives her to my father will strike a thousand daggers in my heart.
CLERMONT. Would I could advise you: but here comes one who is more likely to invent some means for your deliverance.
FREDERICK. Ha! Lappet!
SCENE III.
LAPPET, FREDERICK, CLERMONT.
LAPPET. Heyday! Mr. Frederick, you stand with your arms across, and look as melancholy as if there was a funeral going on in the house, instead of a wedding.
FREDERICK. This wedding, madam, will prove the occasion of my funeral; I am obliged to you for being instrumental to it.
LAPPET. Why truly, if you consider the case rightly, I think you are. It will be much more to your interest to —
FREDERICK. Mistress, undo immediately what you have done; prevent this match which you have forwarded, or by all the devils which inhabit that heart of yours —
LAPPET. For Heaven’s sake, sir, you do not intend to kill me!
FREDERICK. What could drive your villainy to attempt to rob me of the woman I dote on more than life? What could urge thee when I trusted thee with my passion, when I have paid the most extravagant usury for money to bribe thee to be my friend, what could sway thee to betray me?
LAPPET. AS I hope to be saved, sir, whatever I have done was intended for your service.
FREDERICK. It is in vain to deny it; I know thou hast used thy utmost art to persuade my father into this match.
LAPPET. If I did, sir, it was all with a view towards your interest; if I have done any thing to prevent your having her, it was because I thought you would do better without her.
FREDERICK. Wouldst thou to save my life, tear out my heart? And dost thou, like an impudent inquisitor, while thou art destroying me, assert it is for my own sake?
LAPPET. Be but appeased, sir, and let me recover out of this terrible fright you have put me into, and I will engage to make you easy yet.
CLERMONT. Dear Frederick, adjourn your anger for a while at least; I am sure Mrs. Lappet is not your enemy in her heart; and whatever she has done, if it has not been for your sake, this I dare confidently affirm, it has been for her own. And I have so good an opinion of her, that the moment you show her it will be more her interest to serve you, than to oppose you, you may be secure of her friendship.
FREDERICK. But has she not already carried it beyond retrieval?
LAPPET. Alas! sir, I never did any thing yet so effectually, but that I have been capable of undoing it; nor have I ever said any thing so positively, but that I have been able as positively to unsay it again. As for truth, I have neglected it so long, that I often forget which side of the question it is of. Besides, I look on it to be so very insignificant towards success, that I am indifferent whether it is for me or against me.
FREDERICK. Let me entreat you, dear madam, to lose no time in informing us of your many excellent qualities; but consider how very precious our time is, since the marriage is intended this very evening.
LAPPET. That cannot be.
CLERMONT. My own ears were witnesses to her consent.
LAPPET. That indeed may be — but for the marriage, it cannot be, nor it shall not be.
FREDERICK. How! how will you prevent it.
LAPPET. By an infallible rule I have. But, sir, Mr. Clermont was mentioning a certain little word called Interest, just now. I should not repeat it to you, sir, but that really one goes about a thing with so much a better will, and one has so much better luck in it too, when one has got some little matter by it.
FREDERICK. Here, take all the money I have in my pocket, and on my marriage with Mariana, thou shalt have fifty more.
LAPPET. That is enough, sir; if they were half-married already, I would unmarry them again. I am impatient till I am about it — Oh! there is nothing like gold to quicken a woman’s capacity.
SCENE IV.
FREDERICK, CLERMONT.
FREDERICK. Dost thou think I may place any confidence in what this woman says?
CLERMONT. Faith! I think so. I have told you how dexterously she managed my affairs. I have seen such proofs of her capacity, that I am much easier on your account than I was.
FREDERICK. My own heart is something lighter too. Oh, Clermont! how dearly do we buy all the joys which we receive from women!
CLERMONT. A coquette’s lover generally pays very severely, indeed. His game is sure to lead him a long chase, and if he catches her at last, she is hardly worth carrying home — You will excuse me.
FREDERICK. It does not af
fect me; for what appears a coquette in Mariana, is rather the effects of sprightliness and youth, than any fixed habit of mind; she has good sense and good nature at the bottom.
CLERMONT. If she has good nature, it is at the bottom indeed; for I think she has never discovered any to you.
FREDERICK. Women of her beauty and merit have such a variety of admirers, that they are shocked to think of giving up all the rest by fixing on one. Besides, so many pretty gentlemen are continually attending them, and whispering soft things in their ears, who think all their services well repaid by a curtsey or a smile, that they are startled, and think a lover a most unreasonable creature, who can imagine he merits their whole person.
Complete Fictional Works of Henry Fielding Page 304