by Hope Ford
7
April
5 Months Later
I’m a beached whale. Hell, I’m bigger than a beached whale. I reach in the top cabinet, trying to grab the plates and my stomach won’t let me. I turn to the side, I turn every which way, and I just can’t grab it.
Terry comes up behind me and presses the front of his body to the back of mine to bring down two plates. With his body pressed against mine, I hold my breath, afraid that any movement on my part will make him pull away.
He sets the plates on the counter and his hands go to my hips. I bite my lip to stop the moan from escaping. His grip tightens before he releases me and steps back.
He’s completely unaffected while my heart is racing like I just ran a marathon. He’s talking about something at work and although usually I love his stories, today I could completely care less.
I drop the plates on the table and tell him, “I’ll be back, go ahead and start without me.”
I walk, or I guess I should say waddle as quick as I can to the bedroom. I fall to the bed and I can’t stop the tears from rolling down my face.
Terry has been perfect. He’s the most attentive man I’ve ever met in my life. He’s constantly doing things for me… always worried about how I’m feeling and what I need. He cleans up after himself, and if he’s off work, he’s doing stuff around here to help me out. I honestly couldn’t ask for a better husband – well, except for the fact that he’s not attracted to me – that puts a little damper on it. Every night we fall asleep, each of us on separate sides of the bed. By the time the morning comes, I’m wrapped completely around him.
We finally finished the nursery last week and the image of him hanging the mobile over the crib will forever be etched in my brain. I thought he would have some kind of issue with this – being a father to another man’s baby, but he’s not, or at least doesn’t act like it. He talks to the baby, our daughter, and rubs my stomach while doing so every day.
Everything he does, hell, everything he is, only makes me more attracted to him. Honestly, I’ve fallen for him and I’ve fallen hard.
“What’s wrong?” I look up at the doorway and he’s staring at me with his hands rolling up and down his thighs.
I jump up then and sway a little on my feet, but he grabs on to me before I tip over. Shaking my head, I tell him, “Nothing.”
He holds me tighter. “There’s something bothering you and it has been for a while. I haven’t wanted to ask, because I don’t know if I want the answer or not.”
I swipe my hand across my cheek. “I’m fine. It’s nothing for you to worry about. I’m fine, the baby’s fine.”
His hand immediately goes to my belly as soon as I say the word “baby.” He picks me up then, like I weigh nothing, and carries me over to the chair in the bedroom. He sits down with me in his lap. His face is filled with sadness and I want to reach out and smooth the wrinkle from his forehead.
Terry
I’m sitting in the same chair I sit in most nights. It’s the chair that I go to when I think I can’t be in the bed one more minute with her without touching her, taking her and making her mine. Basically, everything I promised her I wouldn’t do.
Lately, she’s changed, she’s different. She’s withdrawn into herself and I can’t help but think she regrets marrying me. I should give her an out, but selfishness has stopped me from asking her about it. I don’t think I have the strength to let her go.
I adjust her in my lap so she’s sitting sideways and I can face her so she doesn’t feel my hard cock under her ass. We’ve made it this far; I can’t be an ass now.
She barely looks at me. I tip her chin up. “I know you’re not happy with me…”
Her eyes widen, and her mouth drops. “Yes, I am.”
The stunned look on her face makes me believe what she’s saying is true. I look at her skeptically. “Then what is it? Something’s been bothering you.”
She starts to shake her head and I put my hand on her leg and squeeze. “Uh, uh, no, don’t tell me nothing…”
She tilts her head to the side. “I, uh, don’t think you’re happy with me.”
I’m shocked by her words. Can she not see how I feel about her? Does she honestly not know how happy I am with her?
I reach up to cup her face and she pulls her head away. “No, Terry, I know this is different than what you were expecting. I mean, look at me, I’m huge right now. I’m sure you weren’t expecting that.”
Then it hits me. “Are you saying that I don’t want you? You seriously think that I’m not attracted to you?”
She looks away and shrugs her shoulders. I grip her hips and pull her back across my lap until my hard cock is nestled underneath her thighs. She gasps at the contact and I stifle a moan.
“I want you, April. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. You said ‘no sex’ and even though I didn’t agree with it, I went along with it because it was important to you. But honey, these last five months, I’ve been in agony for you. I sit in this chair most nights with my cock in my hand, just watching you sleep and squirm across the covers. Oh, I want you. Don’t ever doubt that.”
She wets her lip with her tongue and if possible, I’m even harder. “I want you, Terry. Sometimes it hurts I want you so bad.”
Her words undo me. I waste no time picking her up, carrying her to the bed and laying her down. I sprawl out next to her and kiss her lips. The last several months, I’ve only given her a peck on the lips because I know anything more would make me would lose control. It’s the first real kiss in all these months and it hits me then that this is what home tastes like. She’s my home. She’s my forever.
I could kiss her forever. Her taste is on my lips and I can’t get enough of her.
She pulls away from me. “Terry.”
But I just keep kissing her cheek, her neck, and back to her lips.
She pulls away again. “Terry, that’s your phone.”
“Fuck,” I mutter, laying my head next to hers and breathing heavily.
The ringing had stopped but then it picks up again.
I pull the phone off the nightstand where it’s being charged.
“What?” I say into it.
It’s Mack on the other end and he’s calling me in for a big fire downtown. I’m not supposed to go back in until tomorrow, so if they’re calling me in, it’s a big one.
“I’ll be right there,” I say into the phone before hanging up.
April lifts up on her elbows and her hooded eyes are still filled with desire. God, I don’t know what I did to deserve her, but I’m so thankful she’s mine. “Everything okay?”
I nod my head and lean down to kiss her. “I have to go.”
She sits up then and tries to scoot off the bed. She still has another month to go, but she seems to have slowed down quite a bit this past week.
I help her up and put my arms around her. Her words are muffled when she asks me, “You aren’t supposed to go in till tomorrow. It must be a big one, huh?”
I know she worries. But I try not to tell her all the dangerous stuff so she doesn’t worry more… it’s not good for her or the baby.
“It will be fine. I’ll be back later tonight and then don’t forget we have the picnic tomorrow,” I remind her before grabbing my boots and putting them on. I adjust my cock in my jeans and go to kiss her goodbye.
There’s a tear glistening in her eyes. “Promise me you’ll be all right.”
I run the pad of my thumb across her lip. “Oh, I’m coming home. There’s nothing that will stop me from coming back to you.” I kiss her one more time. “And then maybe I can show you just how much I want you.” I want to tell her then. Tell her I love her and I have for some time now, but that’s not something I want to say as I’m running out the door. Tomorrow. Tomorrow we’re going to sit down and I’m going to make sure she knows.
She nods her head and stands in the doorway until I pull out and take off down the street.
&
nbsp; 8
April
It takes a special person to be married to a firefighter. I know this. But the closer I get to Terry, the more worried I am every time he walks out the door.
I try to keep myself busy the rest of the night and no matter how tired I am, I toss and turn most of the night. I did finally get a text from him in the middle of the night, just telling me that he was okay.
The next morning, I try not to get too upset that I haven’t heard from him and start baking cookies and brownies for the emergency personnel picnic today. It’s an event the city puts on every year and it’s usually fun.
A few minutes before I’m about to leave, the doorbell rings.
When I answer it, it’s Zach, one of the firemen that works with Terry and our neighbor.
My hand goes to my heart. “What is it? Is Terry okay?”
Zach nods his head. “Oh yeah, wow, is that cookies, man that smells good.” He walks past me into the house in search of cookies. When I follow behind him, he’s taking off the lid and grabs one, shoving the whole thing in his mouth.
I hide my smirk behind my hand. “So, Zach, what are you doing here?”
He smiles and pulls another cookie out. “Terry’s just now leaving the hospital and he asked me to come pick you up and take you to… oh shit, are you okay?”
He was midsentence, but I heard Terry and hospital and my legs start to buckle. I’m holding on to the back of the kitchen chair.
“Terry was in the hospital?”
“Oh shit, shoot, no, he saved a little girl last night and wanted to go check on her. That was it. He’s fine.”
It takes a minute for it to hit me that he’s okay. For a second there, I thought there was something wrong with him. “So he’s fine? And the little girl, how’s she?”
Zach pats me on the shoulder and then pulls it back quickly. “Shit… shoot, Terry threatened me not to touch you. Sorry. He’s fine. The little girl must be okay because she wasn’t at the hospital anymore.”
Then my phone dings and it’s Terry. Zach is on his way. I didn’t want you to have to drive. I’ll meet you at the picnic. Tell me if he touches you.
“Fuck… I mean shoot, tell him I didn’t touch you,” Zach says over my shoulder. He must be reading my text.
I pocket my phone and start loading Zach up with goodies because I’m ready to get to my man.
Zach drives like an old lady the whole way across town.
“Why are you driving so slow?”
He smirks. “Are you kidding? Terry threatened my ass – I mean butt – with some bullcrap about special cargo. Do this, Zach, don’t do this… I mean damn, sorry darn, if this is what it’s like with a woman it’s no wonder I don’t want one. Geez.”
I smile across the car at him. He’s a big man, tattoos up and down his arms. Handsome, nothing like Terry, but he’s handsome. Younger than Terry and me. He obviously hasn’t met the one yet. I hope I’m around when he does.
As soon as he parks, which seems like a million years later, I bolt from the car. Zach tells me he’ll carry in my desserts. I’m sure it’s because he wants to sneak a few more, but I really don’t care. I saw Terry’s truck in the parking lot and I know he’s already here.
I wave at a few people I recognize. The other day I was thinking that I didn’t want to come because it’s still awkward sometimes being around everyone. But honestly, they’ve all been kind to me.
I stop walking and look around, finally putting my eyes on him. He’s bent down on one knee with his arms around a little girl. After he hugs her, he stands up and is still smiling down at her. The mother reaches out and touches his shoulder. A pain hits me, right in the gut. I rub my hand across my stomach trying to soothe it. I’ve never felt jealously like this. I want to walk over to him, but I don’t. I stand here and watch until I see Terry take a step back, forcing the woman to drop her hand from him.
The smile on my face is instant and I start walking over to them. When I get close, the mother and daughter walk away after saying bye to him.
Terry instantly smiles at me and opens his arms. Walking into them, I hold on to him. We stand there for a few minutes, satisfied just being in each other’s arms.
“Was that the little girl you saved last night?” I ask him, propping my chin on his chest and looking up at him. My stomach is swollen between us, but I can’t fight this need of being close to him.
He blushes. “How did you know about that?”
“Zach told me.”
He nods his head. “Yep, that was her.”
I turn my head to the side and rest my cheek on his chest. “Her mom is pretty.”
He freezes underneath me. When he tilts away from me so he can look into my face, he bends down to say, “Not as pretty as my wife.”
I take a deep breath then. Waiting on Terry to get home last night, I finally realized that I needed to tell him how I felt. He deserves to know. “Terry, there’s something I have to tell you.”
I grunt, rubbing my stomach.
His eyes get big and he looks down at my hand on my belly. “Are you okay?”
I nod my head at him. Honestly, I feel pretty lousy, but nothing is going to stop me from saying this to him.
“I love you, Terry.” I look around at all his friends, “brothers” and their families, and then back up to him. “I know this isn’t the best place to break it to you and I don’t expect you to say it back, but I had to tell you.”
He’s not smiling. He’s looking at me so intently, I begin to wonder if I shouldn’t have kept it to myself. “Say it again,” he demands.
I tilt my head to the side. Reaching up, I wrap my hand around his neck and pull him down to me. “I love you, Terry.”
He smiles then. A big smile that takes up his whole face. “I love you too, honey.” He picks me up and swings me around before setting me back on my feet. His hands go to my face, cupping my cheeks and I look up at him with love shining in my eyes.
“Five minutes. We’re staying five minutes so I can show off my beautiful wife, and then I’m taking you home and showing you how much I love you.”
I smile because it all seems to be coming together. He kisses me before grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the others.
As we’re walking hand in hand, I’m happy, but in that instant, I know there’s something wrong too. I barely get the word out, “Terry” before I fall to my knees.
He’s right there. Right beside me, checking me out. It isn’t long before I’m surrounded by firemen, paramedics, and policemen. Zach comes out of nowhere, driving one of the four-door trucks owned by the fire department through the grass. He runs around the truck, opening the back seat. “C’mon, put her in.”
Terry doesn’t hesitate. He lifts me up and puts me into the truck, sliding in beside me.
The front door opens and a pretty woman jumps in, hitting the dashboard. “Let’s go, let’s go.”
Zach asks her, “Who the hell are you?”
“I’m a paramedic. If she goes into labor, you going to deliver that baby?” she asks him hotly.
Terry’s concentration is completely on me, but he still hollers out, “Hell no, he’s not getting anywhere around my wife’s legs.”
Zach takes off toward the hospital and the last thing I remember is Terry telling me over and over how much he loves me.
9
Terry
My head is in my hands. Zach’s already given up on me. Well, I shouldn’t say given up, but he’s walked to the other side of the waiting room and is staring at an empty wall. Shannon, the paramedic that rode here with us, is still here somewhere. I keep seeing her pop in and out, wanting to make sure April’s all right, but not wanting to intrude.
Every time the door opens I want to jump to my feet. Our daughter is a month early and because they were worried about her and April, they are doing a C-section. Once things got critical, they got me out of there. So here I sit, unable to do a thing. They had trouble with the epidural, and the
n had to get the baby out so they had to give her general anesthesia. I may not be a doctor, but I know that this is dangerous for the baby and April.
The door opens and in walks Shannon. She looks at me with pity and then walks over to Zach and sits across from him.
I stare at the door, willing the doctor to tell me everything is okay.
Minutes go by, and when it’s been forty-five minutes, I finally get up and start pacing. No sooner do I get up than the doctor comes out.
He holds his hand out. “Congratulations, Dad. Mom and daughter are fine. Mom’s in recovery, but your daughter is calling for you.”
I nod my head, looking over at Zach and Shannon. He’s looking at me wistfully with a big smile on his face. He gives me the thumbs-up sign and I follow the doctor down the hall. He takes me to an empty room and before I can say anything a nurse is wheeling in a baby in a bassinet. She’s crying, and her face is purple. I’ve thought about this moment for so long now. How will I do as a dad? What if I’m horrible at it? And I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I’ve often wondered if I will be able to love another man’s baby.
I walk up to her and she’s so tiny. Her eyes are clenched shut and her whole body is shaking from crying. I lean over and pick her up, holding her to me and pressing her to my chest. “It’s okay, I’m here. Daddy’s here,” I whisper against her head, immediately falling in love with her. I have so many things to say to her. How she can always depend on me. How I’ll always love her. The list goes on and on.
She instantly stops crying and snuggles against me.
The doctor and nurse watch us. I whisper to him, “When will my wife…”
He smiles at me. “They’ll bring her in as soon as she wakes up.”