"Do you know Daniel well?" Lovely stretched his shoulders.
"Hell, he stalked me." The young vampire laughed. He had buck teeth, and it looked humorous with his short fangs. "I finally gave up and said, 'Yeah, you figured it out.' We get along."
"Get along," Lovely repeated, and chuckled. "Three Southerners here. I'm from Oklahoma."
"Shit, boy, you ain't no Southerner. You a redneck," said Leland.
"Hey, we had a Gremlin up on blocks in the front yard, gimme a break," Lovely mumbled, taking the bait. I smiled at them and smoked.
Leland stared out at the swimming pool. In repose his young face was mundane and powerful. He looked like a green soldier, ripe for the scythe of war, on the cover of a Life magazine. "I ain't stayin' long," he said. "I think I'm leavin' this week. I'm going to Amsterdam."
"Take us with you," Lovely said.
"No way. I need to keep a low profile. I like Daniel, and I know them Russians, but I don't feel like knowin' nobody. I feel like disappearin'. That's what I wanna do. I wanna be someplace where nobody knows me."
"Can you speak Dutch?" I asked.
"I can now." He smiled. "I been learnin'."
We stayed out on the balcony for a long time, smoking until he left, and Lovely and I reluctantly returned to the party. Risa wanted me to sit with her on the couch, so I did. She looked dangerously cute in a red Chinese dress and tennis shoes. "You look so sad," she said, stroking my arm with her hot fingers. Her nails were painted red as well.
"I am," I said. "A lot of things make me sad."
"Like what, dear?"
"Like… That boy. I don't know how old he is but he's a vampire and all he wants to do is disappear. Like the fact that I was in love with someone, and we were even talking about getting married, and now I'll never see him again, and I'm sad that I made the choice to never see him again, but you know, I still love him. I still love Ricari. I love Daniel. Jesus, and why isn't there anything left to eat?"
Risa got up momentarily, and returned with a glass of red wine and three sandwiches—salmon, mushroom, and cucumber. She patted my shoulder. "It's all right," she said. "You'll get used to it. Soon you'll begin to treasure the fact that you never fall out of love with people. It will become precious to you, like a string of pearls… each one of them individual and special."
I ate the sandwiches.
Lovely was asleep on one of the couches with Genevieve stroking the velvety suede of his shaved head. His breathing was even and calm. His black lipstick was hopelessly smudged and he'd lost his toe rings.
"Did you ever know Ricari?" I asked Risa.
"No. I've never met him. We were never in the same place at the same time. He seems interesting. I think Alex would like him."
"I can't believe he's the oldest vampire I've ever known," I said.
"There are older ones," Risa said, smiling. "You've met them."
"Who?"
Risa smiled in the general direction of the balcony.
"Leland? He's just a kid."
"He's from Virginia, isn't he? Virginia was a colony once, wasn't it?"
I shook my head, and shook my head again. "I can't believe it."
"Strange. We are strange creatures." Risa gently nudged me with her tennis shoe. "Go wake your friend. He's sleeping through all the best parts."
Eventually I was popped into a taxi back to the Rotting Hall, and I stumbled up the creaking steps to the alcove. My dress and expensive lingerie came off and I collapsed onto the cushions and pulled the blankets, fragrant with old pot smoke, over me.
I slept for a while. Then I felt Lovely join me on the cushions. His lace shirt scratched me, and I mumbled for him to take it off. I fell back to sleep before I thought of it again.
Later I woke up again. There was something vaguely erotic happening. Lovely's skin against mine was damp and silky and fragrant and his fingers were stroking and squeezing my nipples with a sleepy lassitude. "Hmmm," I said at first. All right.
His sticky girlish fingers crawled down my belly; then one hand went back to the nipples and the other one crisped in my pubic hair. "What are you doing?" I asked groggily.
"Touching," Lovely said.
I let him. I wanted to go back to sleep, but what he was doing fought the impulse to sleep. I opened my legs slightly, and his fingers squished into my folds, damp with oily sweat. "Lovely," I admonished.
"What?"
"What are you doing?"
"Touching your pussy," he replied.
I giggled despite myself. "Why?"
"I want to know what it feels like."
He moved his hand behind me and slipped the hand in sideways, rubbing the side of his hand along the slit, opening it. I felt tiny gushes of wetness come out of me. Christ—his girlish little fingers—I rolled over and bit his collarbone gently. In reply, he slipped three fingers into my cunt.
"Oh—Jesus!" I kept my eyes closed, but I sought out his nipples with my fingers. The barbells in his tits were hot to the touch. He took one of my hands and put it on his penis. He was hard as stone. It was so odd—I hadn't felt a human body in so long—it was different, certainly. Lovely's body was soft and delicate and his skin lacked the perfect velvety texture of Daniel's. I removed his fingers from my cunt, and he wiped them inexpertly across my belly. He made me finger myself, and smear the wetness across the head of his cock.
I opened my eyes then. He was very awake, watching me, eye makeup smudged in his eye pits, his pupils dilated in his intensity. "Lovely?" I asked. "But… you don't like girls."
"I do too," he protested in a whisper. "I like you."
He grabbed my cunt and poked the first two fingers inside again. I was a dripping mess. "I'm so confused." I laughed.
"Come on, we're halfway there. Do you wanna get fucked?"
I didn't reply anything verbally; his fingers inside me digging insistently, adding more fingers, killed off any protest I could possibly come up with. He lay half on top of me, grinding his penis against my thigh, my haunch, the plump part of my hip. "Pussy is so cool," he murmured. "So weird… from an another planet…"
I grabbed his cock to try to wrest some control back, but he was used to rough handling and it only made him bite me. We began to wrestle. Giggling happened. We kissed. His mouth tasted like poetry—funky and strange and slightly sour and slightly sweet. I sucked at the nipple barbells, and he made sounds like cats in heat.
He rolled on a Trojan and we commenced battering the pillows. I began to laugh almost immediately, and didn't stop. He fucked completely differently from Daniel; compared to Daniel's deep slow manly thrusts—very German—Lovely fucked like a jackrabbit. Speed was everything. Friction and heat built up between us immediately; then we lubricated it with sweat and my slime, and then the friction burnt that away. I rolled him over at last, impatient with his ministrations, and did the rest myself. Lovely had an orgasm within ten seconds of me jumping on top, and he obligingly finished me with his tongue and his fingers. It didn't take much.
It was evening. We lay there together for a long time, listening to classical music radio and licking each other's genitals gently. His injuries weren't too bad, but he made much of my bruises and swelling. "I'm sorry," he said, in between cat-licks. "I'm used to butts."
"I'm surprised you didn't go for my ass, frankly."
"No way. I haven't had sex with a girl since high school. She wasn't nearly as good as you are."
"I don't want to hear about it," I said. He had a barbell through his penis as well—I hadn't noticed it before. Slimmer than the piercings in his tits, the tiny silver globes rode suspended on the grainy-smooth pink meat of his glans. It was fun to lick around them. "Did this hurt?"
"Only while she was piercing it."
"How can you fuck with this thing?"
"Can't fuck without it, honey."
I relaxed back onto the cushions, and Lovely drew the coverlet back over me. He pulled it half over himself too, leaving ankles and feet sticking out. He kept o
n doing what he was doing, and I decided to try to get back to sleep.
"Oh, how darling."
Daniel loomed over us, gleaming in head-to-toe black vinyl, his presence sending out heavy vibes like waves of heat. He looked like a futuristic assassin. Lovely scrambled half up, drawing the covers up to his chin and blushing bright pink.
"D-D-Daniel…" he stammered.
"I can explain," I said.
Daniel smiled tightly. He was upset; I could feel it. His vibrations made my temples tremble. "No, it's all right," Daniel said. "Really. I think it's cute. My little children engaged in incest."
"Daniel," I begged, "oh, please, please be reasonable."
"Honest," Daniel said. "Really. It's fine. I'm not angry. I'm startled. I really never thought about it. I thought you didn't like girls, Lovely."
"I don't," Lovely said. "I like Ariane."
Daniel knelt, crawled into the alcove, shut the door behind him. He creaked. Gently he put out his hand and touched my tangled hair, his expression changing from the brittle and fake-pleasant to the introspective. Lovely curled up in Daniel's vinyl lap. "Is it really OK?" Lovely said. "I mean, it probably won't happen again."
"It's fine," said Daniel. He stroked the boy's bare back, claws clacking together. "It's fine. I really do think it's cute actually. You looked like you were caught eating Santa's cookies." Daniel laughed to himself. "Did you like your party?"
"It wasn't our party, Daniel," I cut in. "It was your party."
"Did you like my party?" Daniel amended.
"When's the big day?" Lovely murmured. He was perfectly sober for once, and his usually beatific face was drawn, older with worry. I should have said something then, and perhaps… But I didn't. I lay there and let Daniel's stroking and heartbeat lull me, hypnotize me.
Daniel chuckled. "I thought I'd surprise you," he said. "Like having a baby. You know when it's about time, but you never know really. What is this you're listening to—bloody Mozart again!"
"It's only the radio," I said.
"Do we have to hang out with the other vampires after we're… ?" Lovely asked.
"No, you don't have to hang out with anybody. That's the nice thing. You never have to deal with anyone you don't want to ever again. If you don't like them, leave, or feed on them, even better. You will have enough strength to handle anything. You'll never be afraid to do anything ever again. You don't even need money, though I would recommend it. Without money you end up like that sad fuck Leland, who roamed around in the backwoods for a hundred years wearing deerskin or something retarded like that. He doesn't think about money. He's going to Europe finally and he's going to be poor there. But I don't want that to happen to you. In fact, I've put some money away in Switzerland for the two of you. After you're made, do whatever you want with it."
"How much money?" I couldn't help asking.
His eyes sparkled. He was glowing faintly, and I figured out why he'd come down to the alcove; we'd missed the breakfast ritual. "You'll have to find out, won't you? Little birthday present. Keep the wolves away from your door."
Out of habit Lovely's hand strayed to Daniel's vinyl crotch. Daniel kissed the boy's arm. "Don't worry, precious," he said to Lovely softly. "Don't worry about a thing."
Chloe and I had dinner later at the Denny's. She was quiet and tired. I took her hand and massaged it gently. "What's on your mind?" I asked her.
She half-shrugged. "I'm… I dunno. It's nothing." She smiled at me unconvincingly. "Just PMS-induced superstition."
"Like what? Maybe if you tell me—"
"No, no, no. It's dumb. I've got enough psychology to know when talking about your fears is really counterproductive."
"Do you know something I don't?"
"Now, don't get suspicious, Ariane." She dipped a breaded cheese stick into a tureen of sauce. We'd gone all out on the sleazy food—burgers, salad with Thousand Island, cheese sticks, Dr Pepper; later we'd have Key lime pie. It was an antidote to the fussy sandwiches, erudité, and eighteen-year-old wine from last night. "We gotta stick together if we're gonna prevail. One of the many things I learned from Daniel—stick together. Support each other."
"I hope you're paying for dinner then."
"Hey, we support each other, honey. And you ate all my salad." She poked at the remains of the burger on her plate. "So… you and Lovely…"
I blushed. "News travels fast."
"Small community. Plus it was obvious. Everyone frankly thought you guys had been at it all along. Why now?"
"I dunno. He started it. Totally took me by surprise." I signaled for the fourth refill of my Dr Pepper; bitchy waiter was there tonight, and he usually had to be threatened by his manager before he'd come over and serve us. "It was weird. I guess it's not going to happen again. Daniel busting in really fucked Lovely up; he's all freaked out now. Jesus, I hope this all wasn't a huge mistake. I usually don't have sex so… casually."
"It wasn't at all. It's totally natural to sleep with your brother, even if he's not really your brother. Why do you think there's so many plays about it?"
"Not to mention Star Wars."
"Not to mention. You're his best friend in the world, including Daniel. He idolizes you. Besides, that childish hustler shit can't last forever; maybe he's a fag, but that doesn't mean he can't be in love with you, emotionally, physically…"
"Stop it, you're sounding like a Harlequin Romance novel."
Chloe laughed, her signature snort. "I can't help it. I think it's really cool. Shame it won't happen again."
"Yeah… he's a regular fuck machine."
"Get out of here!"
We escaped the Denny's at last, met up with Mimsy, saw an old movie starring Tyrone Power and Rita Hayworth, and settled in a club, drinking. Both Chloe and Mimsy had seemed tense earlier in the evening, not with each other, but more alongside each other, as though each had the same concerns that went unsaid, even between them. After a few martinis, they began to relax, laughing almost too much, as if to assure themselves that their fears were groundless. I was glad to be with them, and my worry about their worry slowly faded away.
When I went to bed, Lovely wasn't there. I couldn't sleep without him. I wandered upstairs to Daniel's office and found Daniel there, watching the Late, Late Movie, motionless on his side on the mattress. "Daniel," I said, "I can't sleep."
"Come here, love."
I curled up in his arms. His body was pleasantly cool. No bloodletting, no dead leathermen tonight then. "What's this movie?" On the screen, an overfed actress knelt by her bed and prayed, a menacing cross of light on the wall above her. Out of nowhere a terrifying silhouette appeared. I rolled toward Daniel to avoid looking at what came next.
"The Night of the Hunter," Daniel said. "One of my favorite movies. Robert Mitchum plays this psycho preacher who's actually after a stash of money, and he'll do anything to get it. He's a real bastard."
"Do you know where Lovely is?"
"Nope," Daniel murmured. "He probably went to meet the dope dealer. He'll be back by sunup, I bet. Go to sleep."
His heartbeat was a slow, heavy swishing in his chest, the sound of the ocean in a very narrow cave. It lulled me and I slept.
* * *
Chapter Twelve
Daniel awakened me with a kiss. I touched his lean cold arms and put up my knee to caress him. "Let me sleep," I complained.
"You must get up," Daniel said. "This is the day."
I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was up, dressed, his armpits fragrant with amber, but he hadn't yet fed. The sun was still breaking brightly through the cracks in the garbage bags on the windows.
"You have to go out now, enjoy your last day in the sunlight. Do mortal things."
My first sensation was panic. I don't want to go today! I thought, my heart galloping. Then, in another breath, the calm came over me. When I had my appendix out, the anesthesiologist came for me with his bright smile and his blue shower cap; at first I panicked so that I thought I would throw up
, or claw his eyes out. Then I felt a calm acceptance of my immanent death, and it was the best thing I'd ever felt. I simply gave up, relaxed into the arms of fate, thought, What good will it do me to fight? If I'm supposed to die now, let it come without fear. I had felt more powerful than I ever had, after this many straight A's, after that many science prizes and prep school scholarships. I felt that I controlled my own destiny.
Of course, this was an erroneous notion.
I let Daniel get me up, I took a shower, I put on a T-shirt and jeans—it was Daniel's Andy Warhol shirt, black with a white halftone print of Warhol's melancholy face. I put on black Converse tennis shoes that Lovely had stolen from the mall. He had written on the white rubber toe-caps ARIANE and RULES! in green Sharpie marker. Daniel watched me with a smile on his face. "Go have fun," he said. "Come back when you're done."
"Where's Lovely?" I asked, braiding my hair.
Daniel shrugged, and I saw that he was tired, bloodless, annoyed. "I don't know. It's not his day, I guess. I'll find him, sometime today or tonight. Don't worry about him."
"I guess I'll go to the beach," I said doubtfully. I slipped the rat pocket watch into my back pocket.
"Whatever," Daniel said. "That's good. Get some sunshine. Enjoy the feel of it on your skin. Get sunburned if you want—it won't matter afterward. Get wasted. Just come on back here when you're done."
I walked down the stairs. It was early—around noon—everyone was still asleep in the Hall. A ghostly quiet followed me to the door, but balked at the street noise and the light outside. I went outside alone, leaving the silence behind me.
All day I walked and bused around. It was hot and bright and noisy, all brilliant color and tight blue sky. I found that I couldn't stand the light and the heat. I was no longer used to it. The sunshine gave me a terrible headache and burnt painfully on the delicate skin on my arms.
I didn't go to the beach; the idea of the glaring sand and the tanned and oily bodies filled me with nausea. I went to a secondhand bookstore and spent two hours reading old science-fiction paperbacks—Edgar Rice Burroughs, Roger Zelazny, Michael Moorcock. I never liked old sci-fi—John did, though, and his apartment was cluttered with flimsy paperbacks with muscular green women and fantastic planetscapes, the yellow pages falling out in clumps like a chemo patient's hair. Reading them was like seeing him again; touching the crumbly covers was like tracing the contours of his cheeks and jaw, taking off his glasses for a kiss.
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