Perfect Temptation (Perfect Fit Book 4)

by KB Alan

  Now he grinned. “You are that.” He produced a candy bar and shared it with her, then sat her up so he could get the pillows from the floor. He tucked her into himself and settled them against the headboard, then offered her a glass of water. They sat quietly, eating a second bar and sharing the water.

  “I don’t really know what I was expecting, but I never even imagined that,” she blurted out into the silence.

  “I remember thinking exactly that.”

  She looked at him. “I forget that you’ve tried this stuff. Do you ever…want it?”

  “Would you ever want to spend an hour cropping someone, like I just did?”

  She couldn’t help it, she wrinkled her nose at the idea. “I think I could, if someone I loved wanted to try it, but it wouldn’t be on my list of things to do just for fun.”

  “That’s pretty much how I feel about being on the other side of it.”

  “Oh. That makes sense. Sorry, my brain is still fuzzy.”

  “Don’t apologize. I like knowing what you’re thinking. But you’ll still want to write a journal entry before we go to sleep.”

  She yawned, then laughed. “Your powers of persuasion are impressive if you can make me sleepy just by saying that word.”

  He grinned. “I’d like to take credit, but that’s your third yawn in two minutes.”

  Oh. She hadn’t noticed. Now that she was aware of it, the tiredness was pulling at her bones. But she didn’t want to move. She reached up and rubbed her fingers on his soft whiskers. She liked him like this. But she’d also liked him clean-shaven. Hell, she just liked him. He didn’t react as she explored his face, traced his lips.

  When she yawned again, he smiled and moved, carefully disentangling himself despite the pout she offered. He got off the bed.

  “Come here, I want to show you something.”

  Sighing, she took his hand. Her legs were shaky when she made it off the bed, but he held her steady and brought her to the bathroom. She stared at herself. He stood behind her, one arm around her waist for support, the other lightly caressing the marks on her body. And there were a lot of marks. Most were fairly light, but there was a good peppering of red, and a few that were still pretty dark.

  He tickled lightly at one on her upper arm, the one he’d bitten. “Most of these will be gone by morning, but this one will bruise.”

  Her gaze was stuck on the spot, on his fingers circling it, on the satisfied tone of his voice. She’d read about such things, about characters who wanted to be marked. When he’d asked her about it, in their talks about her limits, she hadn’t really understood, but she’d agreed to it within strict limits.

  Now she got it. It was like seeing a visual representation of the pleasure he’d given her. And, if she read him right, the pleasure he’d taken in giving them to her. She scanned the rest of her body and he pointed out a couple more. One on her inner thigh, that he caressed lightly, his chin on her shoulder.

  “Thank you, Sir,” she whispered, watching his face in the mirror.

  His gaze came to hers and the look of satisfied pleasure at what he saw on her body made her insides melt. She’d thought he’d already turned her to goo, but that look…whew.

  Once again she had to remind herself that this wasn’t a relationship. Not a romantic one, at least. He was being a good guy. An amazing one. Giving her this gift. She would not repay him by expecting more from him than he’d promised. But damn, he made it hard not to want him.

  He took off her collar and she cleaned up and went back to the bedroom to write in her journal. Again, she wasn’t sure what she managed to get down, as she tried to make sense of the tangle of thoughts and emotions. She didn’t remember consciously deciding that was enough, and sliding into sleep.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Noah sat on the couch to give Natalie space as she wrote in her journal, but kept an eye on her. When she dropped the pen onto the sheets, he went in and helped her put it and the book on the table, slid the hair tie out of her hair, and kissed her as she snuggled down into the blankets.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  He watched her for a minute, her face slack in sleep, her hand curled under her cheek. In some ways it was hard to believe it was only Saturday night. They’d been at the cabin a day and a half. They had one full day left, and then they’d leave Monday morning. His head was filling with ideas of all the things he wanted to do with her. And to her.

  And not all of them were scenes. He wanted to see how she’d react if he took her to Apex, not to play, but to just see everyone else sceneing. And he wanted to sit beside her at the next Weber-Crawford get-together, so he could hear her opinions and reactions to the action around them. Or watch from a distance as she knit a blanket while charming Uncle Leon and the family.

  Shit.

  He checked his watch, then grabbed his phone and sent a text to Alec.

  Got a minute? It’s ok if it’s too late.

  His phone range thirty seconds later.

  “How’s it going out there?” Alec asked, not bothering with a hello.

  “Good. Really good. How’s Sonya? Baby coming?”

  “She’s tired and wants to hold the baby. We had an appointment today, and the doctor thinks any day. But probably not a Fourth of July baby. Tell me about ‘really good’.”

  Noah leaned back into the couch, his eyes trained on Natalie. “I—might have a problem. I promised her, and you, that this was a one-weekend thing. Help her get past the issue from before and explore with someone she trusts. Decide if she wants to consider adopting the lifestyle.”

  “Right. And?”

  “And…I’m not sure I want it to be over on Monday.”

  “And you don’t think she’s on that page with you? Or that you could woo her into being on that page with you?”

  Noah squinted at his phone before bringing it back to his ear. “Did you just say woo?”

  Alec sighed. “Sonya has me reading historical romances out loud to her when she’s trying to get to sleep. It’s hard for her to get comfortable and rest right now, okay? Don’t bust my balls.”

  “Hey, whatever makes Sonya happy is good by me.” He glanced at the bed, took a deep breath. “I don’t want to confuse her. Or fuck up the friendship she and I are developing. Or my relationship with you and your family. She considers your family hers, and I’d understand if you don’t want me going there.”

  Alec scoffed. “Unless you treat her like shit, do you think I’d have a problem with her dating you? My best friend? You think Sonya and I haven’t spent the last couple of days stressing out about who might be good enough for her and wishing you would get your head out of your ass about relationships and realize that she would be great for you?”

  Noah was rocked. “My head out of my ass?” he managed to ask, while trying to wrap his brain around the rest of what Alec had said.

  “You’ve been convinced you don’t want a long-term relationship since Britt. And she was, what, four years ago?”

  “I was with Janey after Britt. For more than six months,” he reminded Alec.

  “Not the same. Janey needed a 24/7 Master and convinced you that you were the Dom for the job. You didn’t, and don’t, want a 24/7 slave. But she needed saving and managed to convince you, or you managed to convince yourself—I’m not sure which, actually—that you were the only one who could save her. You have a bit of a hero complex, my friend. It’s probably why you make such a good mentor at the club, but also maybe why you’re afraid to get too involved with someone. It takes a lot of work to be someone’s savior.”

  “That’s…a take.”

  “It’s part of what makes you a good Dom, a good son, a good nephew, brother, best friend.”

  That sparked a memory in him, from the second month he’d been in Boston. Uncle Leon had sat him down after Uncle Paul had gone to bed one night. “You’re not here to be a martyr, Noah. I wish I could say otherwise, but nothing you—or I—do to help is going to save Paul’s l
ife. He will live or die because of the cancer, the doctors, and his own will to fight. We won’t change that. We’ll encourage him and make his time better, and we’ll fight like hell to do that. But not to your detriment.”

  Earlier that evening, he’d let it slip that the young couple who’d moved into the condo next door had invited him to come over for their big housewarming party. Of course he’d said no. He needed to be there, doing his part to save Paul.

  Leon had wrapped his thin hand around Noah’s big shoulder and shook him, making him meet his uncle’s gaze. “You will not save him. And he doesn’t want you to give up your life to help him. We’re so grateful to have you here to help, never doubt that for a second. But you can’t help if you burn out, or start to resent or hate Paul.”

  Noah had reacted to that, denied that it was possible. The ignorance of youth, he could see now. But Leon had convinced him to start living in Boston, not just existing in their apartment. He’d encouraged Noah to start hanging out with Leon’s nephew and even set him up on a date with a woman from his office. It hadn’t taken, but Noah had given in and started to understand.

  He’d still been there for Paul, given his uncle a great deal of help, love and support, until the very end. He hadn’t been a martyr. But only because Leon had been a good guy, who’d paid attention and understood that Noah’s instincts were leading him there.

  “You’ve enjoyed yourself the last few years, I’m sure,” Alec said when Noah hadn’t replied. “And there’s nothing wrong with not being interested in a relationship. But it’s been a while, and I see the way you look at Sonya when she’s got her hand wrapped around her belly. Or the way you look at Mom and Dad when they’re all lovey-dovey planning their big anniversary party. I think part of you, a big part of you, is ready to be thinking long-term. And Natalie’s pretty awesome. I think she’d be good for you.”

  He’d been worried Alec wouldn’t think he was the right guy for his sister’s best friend. It hadn’t occurred to him that his best friend was worried about who the right woman for Noah was.

  “She is pretty awesome,” he agreed. “But this weekend…it’s not real life.”

  “The Natalie I know is smart enough to tell the difference between a vacation and real life. I didn’t get the sense that she was interested in a 24/7 type of relationship, if that’s what you’re worried about. Besides, I doubt you’re actually doing full-time at the cabin, anyway.”

  He hadn’t been worried about that. Well, maybe sort of. His experience with Janey had proved to him that wasn’t a life he was interested in. Natalie hadn’t been wearing his collar the whole time they’d been here, but it was a lot more than would normally be the case for him with a partner.

  “Yeah. You’re right. And she might not even be interested. She’s really thrown herself into experiencing this weekend. I’m proud of her, but her feelings are going to be caught up in that, and she might think—”

  “Again,” Alec interrupted. “She’s smart. Don’t think you know her feelings better than she does. You’re good enough to find the line between coercing her while her emotions are a jumble and she’s vulnerable, and leaving her hanging out of a sense of justice, if she’s as caught up in you as you must be to be making this phone call.”

  Noah let out a low bark of laughter at that. “Yeah. Fair. Thanks, man.”

  “I’m here. Always. It just may take me longer to get back to you, once there’s a baby in the mix.”

  The joy in Alec’s voice brought a smile to Noah’s face. “I can’t wait to meet the little one.”

  “Soon. Better be soon, or Sonya’s going to make me pay, somehow, some way.”

  “Well, it is your fault.”

  “Of course it is.”

  When he hung up, Noah turned off the lamp and walked back to the bedroom. Natalie hadn’t moved an inch. He’d definitely tired her out. He brushed a strand of her hair back off her cheek. He hadn’t been looking for a relationship. He’d been enjoying his time at the club, mentoring new subs and Doms, taking on monitoring duties, playing with those who weren’t interested in a relationship. He’d even gone on a few dates here and there. But no one had stuck, no one had given him this…almost itchy feeling.

  Yeah, he’d wanted to give her this weekend, to help erase the injustice done to her five years ago. But if he was honest with himself, it had gone beyond that before they’d ever even made it to the cabin. He enjoyed their time out of the collar as much as their time in it. Well, almost as much. But sexcapades could only take you so far. And having a partner for the rest of the time was something he’d sort of given up on.

  He’d tried dating outside the lifestyle. He’d tried having a vanilla girlfriend who knew about his time at the club. He’d tried all sorts of situations, and maybe some of them would have worked…with the right woman. None of that seemed to matter as he watched Natalie breathe. Those situations were totally irrelevant. Now he just needed to convince Natalie that whatever her plans for the future had been a week ago, now it was time to make some room for him to be by her side.

  Natalie had woken up rested and happy on the Fourth of July. She’d rolled over into Noah and he immediately pulled her closer. She’d lain there thinking about the previous night and feeling his cock harden against her leg as he slowly woke up. She grabbed a condom from the table and when he blinked his eyes open, she held it between their faces. His smile was more than answer enough.

  He’d slid into her and rocked her into a slow, sweet release that had kept her smiling through her shower. Then he’d suggested they head into town for breakfast.

  It was only as they were in the car that her happy high started to wane, and she had no clue as to why. Noah was holding her hand as he drove, and was clearly in an excellent mood. He’d obviously enjoyed last night. So had she. A lot.

  Looking at the marks that had lasted through the night had given her a bizarre sense of pride and accomplishment. She’d pressed on one and winced. The mind was a funny thing. She didn’t like pain, but she’d loved what they’d done. It was weird to think that maybe, over time, she’d have increased tolerance.

  The thought had her frowning as she let Noah lead the way to the restaurant he said was his favorite in town for breakfast. Luckily he was holding her hand, walking in front of her as they worked their way through the crowded sidewalk, and didn’t see her expression.

  Was he hoping she’d take more? He’d obviously enjoyed it so much, was it just a precursor to wanting to push her into higher levels of pain? A feeling close to despair swept through her as they took their seats and she pulled her menu in front of her face and pretended to read it, thankful that though the restaurant was crowded and noisy, they’d had a table for two open.

  She was thinking stupid thoughts, because the weekend was almost over, anyway. There wasn’t time for things to get scarier, even if she thought that Noah would push her past her comfort levels. Which she knew he wouldn’t. She knew he wouldn’t, so why was her heart racing?

  None of it mattered because he’d been very clear that he was doing this whole thing as a favor to her, to make sure she had a good experience to balance out the crappy one she’d caught herself up in when she’d tried this out on her own. He would walk her through this, then stick around long enough to be sure that the next person she chose wasn’t a total dumbass. Again.

  “Do you know what you want?” he asked, and he sounded so happy and carefree.

  She was very much afraid that if she looked, if she saw his smile, she would burst into tears. What the fuck is wrong with me? She concentrated on keeping her breathing relatively smooth, because it felt like her heart wanted to beat its way out of her chest and drop itself in front of him in a horrific display of need and want and—

  The menu in front of her lowered, with Noah’s finger pushing it down. He took one look at her and cursed softly. He stood up and caught the waitresses attention as she passed by.

  “Sorry, we have an emergency and have to leave.” />
  Natalie was afraid to move an inch. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do. Sit, stand, cry, pretend to smile, assure him everything was fine and they should just eat their food? So she just didn’t move a muscle until Noah took her hand, put his other around her shoulder, and urged her up.

  She let him lead her out of the restaurant and kept moving. She didn’t know where. She didn’t really care. She’d fucked it all up, ruined the weekend. He was a good guy, though, so he’d probably still help her make sure the next Dom she tried wasn’t abusive. And Alec and Sonya would help. But maybe she should stop with this whole thing. Maybe it just wasn’t right for her.

  Her head was down and she just watched their shoes, not caring where they went. She watched as the sidewalk changed to dirt and then sunny grass and then shady grass and then he was pulling her into his arms and wrapping himself around her, holding her tight, holding her in when her body felt like it was going to shake apart into a million pieces.

  “Shh, baby, it’s okay, you’re fine, it will be fine, I promise.”

  She wasn’t making any noise, but then again, maybe she was and was having an out-of-body experience. It sort of felt that way. She concentrated on the feel of his arms, the words he murmured into her ear, the warm air swirling around them in a gentle breeze.

  Eventually he smoothed her hair back from her face, and she met his eyes.

  “And that was sub drop,” he said with a gentle smile. “Not fun, huh?”

  She swallowed and shook her head. Sub drop? She’d heard about it. Read about it. But…really?

  “Want to tell me what was running through your head?”

  “No?” she ventured.

  His body shook, but he managed to keep his laugh inside. He kissed her nose. “Fucking adorable. You don’t have to right this minute. But it’ll probably be easier now, than later.”

  She felt her lips pull into a pout.

  He rested his forehead against hers. “You’re fine, Nattie. If you don’t want to talk yet, if you want to just sit here a while, we can do that.”